Characters belong to Richelle Mead. This is just a fanmade story by me.

So, I've been feeling a little bit stressed with this chapter, so it might be a little bit rushy... School started again this week, and this weekend we've got company over - they got here yesterday. Got a birthday to celebrate so (which we're doing today). :)

I wanna give a shout-out to everyone that read & reviewed the last chapter! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! :D And I need to answer a few questions, or comments, on here:

SilverySlyFox: You'll have to wait and see! Christian just might make an appearance, and sooner than you think ;)

Twilighternproud; Can't say, sorry ;)

jemily23; It's all about the build-up - that's why Damon/Elena in TVD are so epic ;3 For her to completely open up right-away - or Dimitri for that matter - isn't realistic, which is what I'm trying to achieve here. Build-up is always fun! :)

Dimitrigirl27; Omg yes, that episode was crazy! I so can't wait for April 8th (when it airs in the US, it's like 3-4AM over here... so I watch it on Fridays)! :D

DarknessBecomesMe; Well, I love Vampire Academy, obviously. Then we have Vampire Diaries, True Blood, Star Wars, X-Men, Harry Potter, Hex, Underworld, Matrix, The Host (by SMeyer)... erm. Twilight, though I'm not really a big fan of it anymore (but I have lots of Twifics on my account here, which I'm planning to finish, so...). Lord of the Rings... erm. And TONS more, really, but it's hard to think of them all. I'm kind of a nerd, so I belong to a lot of fandoms x3 And I love talking about my fandoms as well, so just message me! ;D And yeah, my birthday's August 30th, so I'm totally gonna wish for them both! ;3 And I'm happy you like Andrew :)

I only mentioned you guys 'cause there was something I wanted to address in your reviews. But I read everyone else's as well, of course, and they mean a lot to me, too! Just 'cause I don't mention you here, it doesn't mean anything. I'm very happy to read your reviews as well! Thank you! :D

Anyway... ENJOY! And have a good weekend!

Chapter 6

Ugh.

The days that lead up to Sunday were some of the worst days in my life. Not being able to train, to burn off some frustration and anger, was probably the worst punishment I'd ever received. I wasn't allowed to spar in my combat classes, so I had to sit on the sidelines and just watch as my classmates fought each other. I yearned to get in there, to blow off some steam, but Belikov kept his eyes on me. I think he sensed my frustration.

Not being able to do my routines properly was killing me. I wasn't allowed to run in the mornings either, so my whole morning schedule was messed up. What was I supposed to do now when I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep?

I walked outside and over to the tracks, because I figured, I was supposed to be here now, so why wouldn't I be? But as I couldn't run, I settled with sitting on the bleachers, watching the sun go down in the Western horizon. It wasn't something I usually got to do, seeing as my focus was elsewhere. I wrapped my jacket a little tighter to myself, crossing my arms, to keep up the warmth. You could definitely tell winter was approaching.

After awhile I saw Belikov walk up to me – well, he was dropping off his bag nearby where I sat.

"Good morning," he said politely, glancing up at me.

I nodded in acknowledgment.

Without another word passing between us, he set off to run around his laps. I watched him start off kind of slow and then running faster and faster until he found a good pace that suited him. Wishing I could join him, I sighed.

Damn.

Why did I have to hurt my back?

As Belikov eventually finished, he came back towards me, taking out a water bottle - similar to mine actually - from his bag. He took a gulp of water from it. Or that's what I assumed it was anyway.

He glanced over at me again as he picked up his bag and slumped it over his shoulder. "How's your back today?"

I shrugged.

He studied me for a moment longer.

"I'll see you in class," he said eventually, readjusting his bag before he left the tracks.

x x x

The next day was just like the day before. I woke up early, went out to the tracks, threatened to freeze my butt to death, and watched Belikov run his morning laps.

I was starting to see why people looked at him with respect; if anything, he was dedicated. He had his routines, just like me, which was something I had to respect. Although, I didn't know what his motives for them were; mine was the quest for some peace, both in heart and mind. So, was he also looking for it, or was he just one of those people who needed structure in their life? Like some kind of perfectionist?

This day, however, was just a tiny bit different than yesterday.

"Good morning," he said politely. It was almost like déjà vu, except for...

"Morning," I murmured, wringing my hands because of the chilly morning air around us.

He glanced up at me – I don't think he expected me to answer him – with an expression I didn't know what to make of. He seemed... happy? I was talking to him – politely, I might add. I hadn't snapped at him or said something rude. Or maybe it was some weird mixture of relief and surprise I was seeing?

But he didn't say anything else, he just started with his laps.

As he finished, he came over to get his bottle out from the bag. Just like yesterday, he'd put it near me. I was sitting three rows up on the bleachers, and he had his bag right in front of me, but on the first row. Maybe he did it to make sure no one took it? Or maybe to see if I would do something to it?

Or maybe I was just a little paranoid.

He took a big gulp of water and his brown eyes locked with mine as his head rose with the motion. For a second there I couldn't do anything but stare at him, but then as I realized what I was doing, I turned my head down to my red, freezing hands.

What the... hell was that?

"See you in class."

I looked back up only to see his back retreating, his black training bag hanging over his shoulder.

My combat classes were just like the day before though; me on the sidelines, wishing I could just get out there and hit someone, or something. Anything. And Belikov glancing at me in his peripheral view to make sure I didn't disobey the doctor's orders.

Damn.

Andrew noticed my frustration as I sat in the chapel that Friday. He hadn't been there when I visited the day before, so obviously he wondered what was wrong now. I told him how I'd hurt my back and that Dr. Olendszki made me stop training at least until Sunday.

"Rose, you're working yourself too hard." he said, concern lacing his gentle voice. "You need to start listening to your body."

I shrugged. My normal response to everything nowadays, it seemed.

"Rose..."

"I'm fine, Father." I said. "I'll be fine."

"Maybe you should lessen the hours you spend in the gym during the weekends?" he suggested.

"Why would I do that?"

He raised an eyebrow at me.

I sighed; I knew what he meant.

"Just think about it, Rose."

I frowned, but nodded. Although, I knew I wouldn't be cutting back on my hours whatever anyone said. Even if it was Andrew. My schedule was set, and I didn't have any intentions to mess with it. Things would just get... well, messy, if I did. I needed my hours in the gym, in order to keep me sane, so not being able to train was just cruel. Fucking torture, that's what it was.

He left a little while after that to go back to his room, and eventually I did the same.

x x x

Since I would first meet with Dr. Olendszki Sunday – tomorrow - I figured I'd just go ahead and write to Lissa a bit earlier in the day. And I had a lot to tell her considering the week that I'd had, so it wasn't so bad that I wouldn't get to train in the gym right now.

Seeing as last time I'd been sitting outside, I'd completely lost track of time and run into Belikov, I figured I wouldn't sit out on the grounds today. I didn't feel like facing him today.

If only I could find a place that was secluded, where I would be left alone and not be found...

I kept thinking about different places I could go to throughout the morning, but it wasn't until lunch that it hit me. The perfect spot.

The church attic.

Thankfully the church itself was empty as I sneaked inside after lunch. No one would be seeing me retreat to the attic, a place I wasn't actually allowed to visit, no matter how much time I spent in the church. It was off-limits for everyone but the priest, and well, the school's staff, of course. Although, they had no reason to go up there. Even Andrew, the priest himself, rarely did it. The attic had been rather dusty when he showed me the place and gave me that book about different Moroi saints.

And it proved to be still just as dusty when I climbed the small staircase and entered the little room that stored old, broken furniture and ancient documents. There wasn't any proper light, no lamp I could light – although, that would be bad because it could possibly alert Andrew that I was up here. The only light that filled the room – not even the whole room – was the window on the opposite side of the door.

I walked over, my eyes on the floor so I wouldn't accidentally step on anything (like a dead rat or bird or something), and plopped myself down on the window seat. Surprisingly, it wasn't at all dusty.

Weird.

Liss,

This week's been hell, too. I haven't trained – I hurt my back Wednesday, and Dr. Olendszki told me I have to rest at least 'til Sunday, a.k.a. tomorrow. Sure, I get it. I train myself too hard. And I train by myself, which might not be the smartest thing, I know, but what other option do I have?

Monday was like any normal day, apart from dreading the next day, so it wasn't all that good – two years since the funeral, you know. That's a day I don't want to remember, because I remember everything from that day. That day stand for the one thing I don't want to think about: You're not coming back. It was final. Everyone was there, everyone were witnesses. I couldn't shake it off as something I had dreamt; as a nightmare.

You're not coming back.

I keep wondering when I'm finally going to accept it. It feels impossible to do it; it keeps hurting, Liss. I don't wanna hurt, I just want you to be here. I want to go back, and I want to die. Why didn't I die, seriously? Why was I the only survivor? It's not fair.

It should have been me.

"You can have the rest of the church, but not the window seat."

I turned around in time to see Christian appear from the darkness, a smirk on his lips. His pale blue eyes were indecipherable as they watched me sit there, propped up with my diary in my lap; pen in hand.

I didn't answer him, I just turned back to the diary, resting my head against the window. Talking wasn't something I was really up to – not that I usually was anyway.

Wednesday was weird. A lot of weird things happened

"What are you doing here?" he wondered. "You've never come up here before..."

Actually, I had – once - with the priest. He didn't know that though.

When I didn't answer, he smirked, "Ah, I get it. You're having a pity party."

I ignored him.

that day.

"Too bad you didn't tell me earlier – wish I'd brought hats."

That sort of a joke might have actually made me laugh earlier, but considering who he was and who I was now, I really wasn't up for it.

He sighed. "I know talking's not really your thing, not anymore at least, but you could at least... well, say something. I heard you've talked to Ashford, so I know you're not a mute."

So word had reached the ghosts as well. Great. I was starting to lose the Most Lame Person award here.

Surprisingly, I wanted to say something to him - to snap at him actually - but I just didn't know what to say. So, I stayed silent, involuntarily this time.

Belikov didn't run with me that morning.

Oh, I forgot to tell you that I hugged him the day before – I was upset. I would've hugged anyone. And he smelled good, too. He smelled like aftershave; a very nice aftershave. It was kinda comforting actually, and I think he understood that I just needed someone to hold me. He didn't say anything, so it wasn't awkward. Not that I would have noticed though. But it was nice, I suppose.

Anyway, I saw him first during class. I noticed that he watched me, and he cleverly made me tell him my name. I didn't want to, but I was forced. It was during class after all; guardians and novices alike were there. I couldn't refuse. And besides, he's my teacher. He needs to know my name, even if I don't want him to. It's too personal.

I hurt my back while sparring with Mason. And after class Belikov made me go to Dr. Olendszki's office – that's how I was forced to stop training.

Christian kept watching me as I sat on the window seat, writing, and he on the floor a couple of feet away. It was beyond creepy, knowing his past. His parents had been Strigoi – they turned voluntarily, trading their life and their magic for immortality. They turned evil by choice.

I knew I was safe up here, because this belonged to the church and Strigoi couldn't enter holy ground. Christian couldn't do anything to me, unless he used magic – and that wasn't allowed.

"I don't talk to psychos." I muttered to him after awhile, because it was starting to get to me. He wouldn't stop staring at me, like I was some kind of alien or something.

"And she talks!" he said in mock-surprise. "It's a miracle!"

I glared at him. "It'd be a miracle if you didn't get punched in a minute."

One of his eyebrows rose in that same, cool way Belikov's had. "Yeah, that's likely."

"What do you want?"

"I kind of asked you the same thing earlier." he countered. "This is my place. You're the intruder here."

"Shut up."

"Whatever you say... psycho."

I glared at him.

He rolled his eyes. "What are you writing anyway?"

I went back to ignoring him after that. Christian being Christian, called me psycho again, although not completely serious, I could tell. I let it roll off anyway. I didn't have the energy, nor the desire, to come up with a comeback that would promptly shut him up.

Ugh. It's torture, Liss! I can't train, I can't run. The only thing I can do is go to the chapel, and it's actually starting to get to me. I don't know why, but it's not as peaceful there as it was in the beginning. You know when... yeah. Back then. I don't know, but there's a weird feeling I get now when I'm there, like I'm not alone. Like someone is watching me or something. I don't like it.

By the way, Belikov looked at me strangely yesterday. He usually has his guardian-stone face going on, but then... it was strange. I don't know what it was, but it reminded me of the old days. You know, like the guys would look at me before. Almost like that. There was some kind of intensity in his eyes when he glanced up at me, it kind of scared me. But it was compelling, too.

Weird.

But I'm gonna head off now. Need my beauty sleep, and tomorrow I'm meeting Olendszki, so I need to stay sharp. I really need to train soon, or else I'll go insane!

Wish me luck, Liss! xoxo

Couldn't leave Christian out, now, could I? ;)

Hopefully I did him justice, as well as Rose and Dimitri. That's probably what scares me the most, that I won't do them justice and go all OOC. Okay, of course they're a little bit OOC, but that's because of the circumstances. I mean, Rose isn't exactly the same since she lost Lissa - it's kind of like what happened after Mason in Frostbite, I suppose. I mean, she got a darker outlook on life then, but this is different, though, because she was younger and it was Lissa - the one who balanced her. Her family even. This is harder to recover from, and then there's the shadowkissed thing, which I want to explore some ;)

But I've got a whole lot more in store for this story - this is just build-up! ;D

And if you wondered why I asked about Andrew in the last chapter... well, mostly I wondered because he's not mentioned much in the books, and since he's kind of important to Rose, in a way, here... I wanted to know if I did him any good. I want him to be likeable. :)

Please READ & REVIEW! Just takes a sec or so, you know! :D