Chris: OKay, we REALLY need to get this movie over with chef, it's been what? two years now! I'm on a budget here, got a show to do and Mel Brooks is probably demanding his money back! Maybe I should've added him to the movie.
GreatCelestialDragon: Uhh, you mean you havent seen the Ridonculous Race?
Chris: The what? I don't remember working on a spin-off series. *sips his coffee*
Chef: You might wanna look at this. *switches on the TV to show the opening, new contestants and... a different host* *Spews his coffee everywhere* WHAT?! WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY!? And why is there no misery?! The pain? And the drama! Hence the title! *sees the characters* Urk, as if one goth wasn't enough. *listens to the challenges* Yawn, this guy clearly has talents of a rookie. Did they let two old farts in this show as well? CHEF! Get me my cellphone! I'm gonna have word with the producers of why I wasn't informed about this!
Chef and the writer were too busy watching the episode up to the part of the elevator while Chris was complainign about the show without him.
Chef: Kid really needs to go on a diet.
GCD: Got any popcorn?
While the four were follow the midget monks to wherever they were going through the deserts. The Spaceballs already arrived upon the desert moon of Vega. Lord Mclean and Colonel Hatchet in the cruiser but the dark lord was wearing a safari attire and with another ridiculously huge hat in place of his dark helmet.
"I don't see them, Hatchet." Spoke through his helmet while searching for the fugitives and the princess through his binoculars.
"Relax, I've sent the troops on up to Vector 78."
"Then let's get going!"
The colonel nodded and gave an order. "Driver, prepare to move out." Lord McClean looked at the colonel in confusion when wanting to find the princess.
"Preparing? What are you preparing for? We don't have time to 'prepare' when they could be ahead of us! Just go!" Telling the driver to do so.
"Yes sir."
"Uh, Chris you better sit down, better yet put on a seatbelt for safety." Trying to reason with the idiot dark lord, but it hardly seems as though he would listen to anyone but himself.
"Pfft, like I need seatbelts Just go!" The cruiser takes off and throws Mclean into his seat by the sudden thrust as they continue their travel through the dunes. "This is why I said to buy seatbelts." The colonel said while they continue their search.
Back with our heroes stumble upon a hidden entrance with an engraved letter "Y" on it. The Dinks open the doors and enter, gesturing the four to follow them inside. Leading them down below from a flight of stairs, following the torchlights where the Dinks awaited them and continue to wonder.
"So what are the little dudes saying?" Owen asked.
"Think they want us to go with them. Anything better then out in the scorching desert." Gwen said, as they continue walking through the corridors and feeling a little nervous whent hey stumbled upon an ancient underground temple. They thought it was a little creepy, until right in front of them was a large stature of a giant sitting on a. "Uh, ok, what is this place?"
Owen gulped nervously. "It looks like the Temple of Doom." A loud gurgling noise coming from his stomach as he was more nervous then before, almost ready to let out some gas.
"You had to mention something that makes it more scarier." Leshawna said. The four of them took each other's hand as they slowly made their way through to meet whoever lived here. Steam came out of the statue's ears and glowing red eyes that made the group even more scared.
"Uhh, was it such a good idea to follow the dwarfs down here?" Duncan was starting to have second thoughts, didn't need to be a mind reader to know what they were thinking.
"We must've woke it up. And it looks angry!" Owen added.
"That's it! I'm out here! Lemme' know how it turns out guys!" the robot maid tried to make a run for it but was unable to escape the princess and the Mog's reach and continued to protest.
"Come back here, Leshawna you can't leave now." Gwen pleaded to her best friend.
"Yeah, it's not like their needing a sacrifice today or something." Duncan joked only to receive a glare from the two women. They were more closer to the statue and can clearly see it's menacing face through the faint light and smoke.
Gwen decided to change the subject and fast. "Aside from that comment, any idea what it want?"
Earning a respond from Duncan. "If we don't ask, maybe it won't."
"But what if it does?! I dunno about you, but I wanna get out of here and fast!" Owen freaked out and wanted to leave, ignoring his friends' protests and pleads until the statue blow out fire from it's mouth, frightening the four to the point of one of them peeing their pants until they heard a booming voice. "Silence! Who dares enter the sacred temple of the ever lasting know it all, Yogurt!"
"Yogurt!?" All of them gasped at the name of one of the most famed people in history of the known universe. A hidden door opened up between the statue's legs and walking out was an 'elderly' man with long grey hair, green robe and a cane to walk properly.
He looks at the four in curiosity. "You heard of me?"
"Well, apart from being a total shrimp, but your practically famous across the universe." Duncan said, didn't expect him to be a small old geezer from all the stories
"There is the Yogurt the Wise." Gwen added.
The Leshawna. "Yogurt the all powerful."
And Owen. "Yogurt the Magnificent."
The elder held up his hands before them. "Please, no need of all that. I'm just plain Yogurt." Eyes the princess and gives a overconfident smile. "But you can call me the Code-meiste-"
"Stick to the script short stuff." Gwen put a hand in front of him and turned to her shoulders. Duncan decided to step in and thought of something to change the subject. "But your the one who-"
"Yep! I'm the one who knows a greater magic. Known throughout the universe as the-"
"The force?" Owen asked.
"No. The schwartz!" The monk announced.
"The schwartz!" THe four heroes said, although they tried to hold in their attempt to laugh as it sounded like a dumb name.
"Yes, the schwartz!" Held out his hand, showing a ring around his finger. It was much different then the dark helmet wearing Spaceball's.
"You know there's one thing I don't get. What is it you do around here on this bar rent planet?"
"Merchandising."
Owen arched one eyebrow in wonder. "Merchandising? For what?"
Cody smiles. "Come, I'll show you the goods. All bunch of Total Drama Spaceball!" The wall lifts up, revealing a hidden chamber full of items. To the heroes' chagrin, most of it had Chris' face on them. Possibly much for his major ego. "There's the Total Drama Chris brand head. Total Drama shirts. The Total Drama colouring book. And the main attraction, the Total Drama Flamethrower." Pulls one out and ignites fire for a moment before turning it off.
"They love this stuff. But lawsuits were against selling it to kids for safety"
"Uh, does that include the flamethrower?" Leshawna asked, feeling uneasy about the last item as does the princess but Duncan seems like he wanna get one.
"And we had a doll, but they're still working on process." Pulls out a doll version of him and toss to the stuff. "You know how producers are like."
Meanwhile in Spaceball City, in the president's bedroom the bed was filled by the sound of laughter and giggling coming from under the covers.
"Ah, Geoff not there." A female voice under the covers.
"Sorry babe, just have good hands. And you look nice with the hat."
The screen blinked revealing a female officer with dark hair in a braid. "President Geoff." The instant her voice was heard, the blonde pulled himself out from the covers and held a book upside down. "Sorry if I disturbed your sleep but urgent news came."
"Heather! Wh-what are you doing here?" The president asked in surprise.
"Well I would have Commander Bridgette up here if she was not absent or something." SHe would be able to see the faint blush on the president's face or trying to act innocent if she had heard a light 'eek' under the covers. "Anyway I have urgent news from Lord Mclean. He's lost the princess' whereabouts."
"Where was she last sighted?"
"Someplace on the Moon of Vega, sir." Heather responded.
"Tell him to comb the desert, you here me Heather. Comb the desert!" The president ordered.
Back on the desert moon, the Spaceballs had taken their order serious from the president. When he means comb the desert, well… they began using giant hair combs to pull with two people for one to literatly comb the sands for tracks.
"Uhh, Chris?"
Chris turned to his colonel with a loudspeaker. "What?" Almost caused him to jump with the thing.
Glares at him and fixes his ear after being assaulted by the loud noise. "You think we're being too literal about this? I don't think this is what that kid president had in mind."
"Dude, we're only following orders so if the President says to comb the desert? Then we're combing the desert." Takes the loudspeaker from his helmet and turned to the soldiers. "Found anything?!" Shouting to the soldiers for any sign.
The first two stop to reply. "Nothing yet sir!"
"What about you guys?"
"Not a thing!"
"How bout you?" Turns to the last two holding a mini comb and seem frustrated.
"With these things? Ain't found a shit!"
In the underground temple Duncan was undergoing training from the space wizard. Duncan showed him his necklace if he'd know anything about it. "So I went to every elder, monk and priest, even a con man. But none of wise men know what it means."
"Pah! Wise men, what do they know about it. here, let me take a look." Takes a close look at it and inspects the inscriptions engraved on it. He started making some odd throat noises. "Whuck, whuck, muck, munck, munchk."
"You can read it!"
"Not really, I was clearing my throat. Ahh, yes, yes, of course. So that's what it is."
Duncan looked a him if he finally knew what it meant. "So you understand it then?"
"Yep!"
"THen what does it say?"
"Sorry, can't tell you what it means yet. It will be revealed to you at the proper time." Can see the disappointment on Duncan's face. "Com on, no need for the long face. Back to your schwartz training, all you have to do is take the ring, and lift that huge statue."
One of Duncan's eyebrows arched upwards, thinking he must be nuts to pull that off with the ring. "I dunno, kinda… big for me and heavy to lift with my brain."
"Never, underestimate the power of the schwartz. Now. Focus!" Watches him point the ring at the statue and does what he was trained to do. At first it seems like nothing was happening, but suddenly feeling it beginning to ascend. "That's it. Your doing it! You're doing it! HAHA!"
Duncan couldn't believe what was in awe of what he was doing and laughs. "Can't believe I'm doing it! For a stupid name it sure works!" His pal, Owen walks to see the huge statue hovering, stood very close to it and looking up. "Whoa, Dude! How d'you do that?" But just when Duncan had it right, his focus was off by his friend's arrival. Which, is a big mistake that makes the statue drop back down. And catching his foot in the way.
The weight of the statue caused unbearable pain for the Mog. "WHOOOOAOAAAHOOOOOOOHOOOO! OOOOOOOOOOHHHHOOHHHHOOOO!" Wails in pain and agony, flapping his arms about as his foot was under the statue and tried to find away to pull it out safely.
"Gimme the ring! Gimmie the ring! Hurry!" Duncan quickly passed it to him. Yogurt points the ring to the statue. "Upsidasi, upsimasi, upsidaisy!" Chanting the words, to Duncan that sound very weird for ancient magic but seem to be working when the statue, again, being levitated for Owen's foot to be free. However, it seems to have made it much larger and flat by the weight. Owen continues to wail in pain, while Yogurt grimaced at the sight of it. Duncan gave a small nervous smile at what he accidentally did to Owen. "S-Sorry Owen." The blonde Mog merely walked away, dragging his foot along with a low growl.
Outside the desert as it was night, when Lord Mclean felt like they were no where near of finding the princess, he felt a strong power within the area, Hatchet came to him after handing out orders to the troops. "It ain't use, we've searched the whole area. I don't think they'd be here or may be alive in this god damn desert."
"No wait, Hatchet! I fell the presence of… the Schwartz!"
"The Schwartz?" The Colonel asked, trying to resist not to snicker of the name as the Dark Lord has a big temper if laughed at. Watching him point his ring to locate the source.
"I feel it coming from…" Moving it to where Hatchet was, fearing he was aiming to his crouch, but for his luck it was elsewhere. "There!" Pointing towards the sand dune. Hatchet went to where he pointed, brushing the sand until he found something hard and flat then an average rock.
"Well I'll be damned! There's a door right here under our noses, and a look at the insignia its a 'Y'." As true to his word, the letter engraved on the secret door. The large helmet wearing villain grew angry as he knows the insignia all too well.
"Yogurt! Ooh, I hate Yogurt. Even with Strawberries that are even bad."
"Give the word and I'll send in an attack squad and deal with those brats!" Pounding his fists together, eager for some actions.
But Chris stopped him before he could do that. "No, you crazy? That little munchkin Yogurt has the Schwarts. Waayy too powerful."
"But don't you have that ring and the space magic to deal with him?"
"Nope. You see, he's got the up-side of the Schwarts, mines the down-side. There are two kinds of every schwarts." The Colonel looks at him with an odd look and narrows his eyes at him. "Yeah, confusing, can't use anything that could violate the copyright issues from Star Wars."
"Makes sense, but back to the main problem like trying to get the princess without getting caught?"
Chris grins after an idea popped up in his head. "That's because we don't need to." Flips his mask on. "Because SHE will come, to us!" Holds up his ring and makes it glow, both him and Hatchet chuckled evilly.
Well hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I know I should've made it longer for all the absence I've made but going to focus on finishing this as I have been very busy from all the college work since that was my main priority to complete the projects and reports and stuff. Anyway I'm looking forward to the new spin-off of total drama and hope it's worth it. I doubt Chris will like it considering he's not hosting which would probably make it less dangerous in someone else's care. Maybe. Hope you all had a good summer as its now over sadly.