A/N : Okay, Rhodey was originally supposed to be in this book, but I'll hold him off for now. I got a little crazy with this chapter, and I really have no idea where all the comedy here originated. xD
Bruce and Wanda are watching Vision using a phone to try and call Thor. Yes you read that correctly.
"You know I was kidding about the Asgardian phone line thing." Currently Bruce Banner and Wanda Maximoff were staring at The Vision, who was currently trying to call Thor in Asgard and was running around trying to "get a signal".
"Here!?" Vision asked, running around the Tower, currently standing on the edge of the couch, trying to get a signal for Asgard. "Thor I can't hear you?! I'm trying to find a place for a signal?!"
"This is just...-"
"Insane?" Wanda suggested.
Bruce shrugged. "That's one way to put it. But it's definitely a little strange. What even happened here? Why is there a scorch in the carpet and why is there a hold in the ceiling?"
Wanda sighed. "It's a long story. "
"Well." Bruce shrugged again. "We've got a little time."
Wanda took a deep breath. "Loki fell from the ceiling and tried to attack Vision, I got mad and I accidently tossed him in rage into a bookshelf in a Harry Potter book.
Then Tony came in, we yelled a lot and I had to go in Loki's mind and see what he was doing here. It turned out he was from a different dimension where we're all evil and they're good.
So he used his scepter to replicate lightning so he could summon a portal and the lightning struck and we couldn't get there because the lightning wasn't made for 5 or 6 people or something like that and now Vision is trying to contact Asgard to get in contact with Thor so we can use our Mjolnir from here and open the portal there again."
Bruce stared. "You really weren't kidding about it being long..."
Wanda sighed. "If Vizh can actually call Thor than that will just be the beginning."
"Wow." Bruce's eyes widened. "By the way, have you seen Natasha? I saw Rhodey outside, where is she? I meant to surprise her with a dinner at her favorite restaura-" His face turned a shade of crimson once he realized what he was saying. "I-I mean.."
Wanda laughed. "She's not here Bruce. She's in the other world. I promise not to tell her about the surprise once this is all over"
Bruce looked relieved. "Thanks. I'd rather not go Hulk mode at dinner." Wanda laughed at the thought of Hulk trying to use a fork to eat steak. There would be about 5 broken dishes and a table.
"I got a signal!" Vision declared excitedly. He was floating next to a fan with a phone in his hand grinning his face off.
"That actually worked?" Bruce stared.
"I don't question it. You might lose brain cells If you do." Wanda teased as Vision continued his call.
"Really?!" Wanda watched Vision's face light up even more than ever as she heard a muffled voice (Likely Thor) Responding to Vision from the phone. "That's great! Thank you God of Thunder!"
"Fine news!" Vision hovered back down onto the floor infront of them both with a goofy grin on his face. "Thor is coming right now!"
"How do you get a telephone signal in Asgard?" Bruce questioned. "It's not like Sprint or Verizon has a giant tower in the middle of an ancient city in the sky... I think.. I mean, they have to be doing something with those little bills we never figure out why we have to pay." He shrugged.
"I theorized that Miss Foster gave him a phone on his time here. Thankfully I was correct and managed to get in contact with him." Vision waved his phone's screen around to show them that he had just called a number that Wanda didn't recognize.
"How did you even get Wifi to call him?!" Wanda exclaimed.
Vision shrugged. "Well Dr. Strange got Wifi on his magical quest in the Himalayans so I wasn't really surprised that Asgard had some." The two stared at the android, who didn't seem to question the logic of what was currently happening.
"Well.. um, I'm not going to ask.." Bruce smiled. "So how long until he gets here?"
Vision looked at the clock. "Ah, well, he said around 3:45 so.. in 10.394739 seconds."
"Wait wha-" Wanda was quickly cut off by a boom of thunder and debris of concrete and metal falling from the ceiling.
Thor had arrived.
"I am here!" He declared, swooping in from the hole in the ceiling red cape billowing majestically in the wind. "So, I believe my dear friends that you require my services?"
"My asthma is here as well, and the only thing I require right now is an inhaler." Bruce coughed, Wanda giving him a hard thump on the back. "Thanks."
"When will people stop making holes in the ceiling?" Vision looked up at the now two holes in the ceiling of Avengers tower. "That's the second time today. Not counting yesterday when Mister Rhodes was fighting a training hologram and smashed through the bathroom wall."
"I have no idea." Wanda shook her head, facepalming. "And is that why the bathroom is off limits?"
"I believe thy need my thunder?" Thor asked again holding up Mjolnir.
"Yes." Wanda stared. She still wasn't sure if she was just in a dream and she was hallucinating all of this.
"Vision." Thor nodded to the android in respect.
"Thor." Vision returned.
Thor lifted Mjolnir to show them he had brought it. "I also received my brother's scepter from the dungeons. It may not have the mind gem, but it's magical properties are still intact."
Wanda sighed, "Then God of Thunder please do your job already."
Thor grinned sheepishly. "Of course.
Thor lifted the hammer, ready to strike it down on the scepter. "Ready?"
"Ready." Everyone responded.
"3..2..1..!" Thor swung the hammer downward, lightning blasting through the sky, smashing part of the ceiling to pieces s thunder roared and the bolt struck right into the room. The thing was that-
"You missed.." Vision said, worried. There was a reason he was worried though, as instead striking the scepter instead Thor had actually struck-
"Sorry!" Thor yelled as Bruce's clothes were torn as he grew into the hulk. "Banner! Thy need to control thy self!"
"HULK SMASH PUNY GOD!" Hulk glared at Thor in anger as Thor tried again to hit Lokis scepter, lightning stuck harder this time, the lightning increasing in intensity as Hulk grabbed the god by the ankle and began holding him upside-down.
"Mister Banner please calm down!?" Vision exclaimed, Wanda felt pain rushing through her body, thousands and thousands of blots traveling down them until-
"What the hell?!"
"Language!"
"HULK SMASH!"
Wanda opened her eyes. They were definitely not in Avengers Tower, the only reassuring thing that made it clear that everything had gone smoothly was the fact that the rest of the Avengers were in the same room and were staring at them.
"What happ-" Natasha was cut off as Vision shrugged.
"Mister Banner went "Hulk Mode" as we were switching dimensions."
"PUNY FISHTANK!" Hulk broke a fishtank as Wanda facepalmed.
"What in the world?!" Wanda heard a familiar voice yell this and whirled around to find a figure resembling Ultron holding a coffee cup gaping as Hulk smashed more furniture. Rage flew through her and before she could control it the figure was already smashed through a wall, her crimson eyes burning with hate.
"Ultron!" Wanda stomped toward him, hands sparking with energy. She was going to destroy him if it was the last thing she did!
Vision placed a hand on her shoulder in an attempt on hold her back. "Miss Maximoff-"
"What the hell is going on right now!" Ultron bolted upward from the debris of the broken wall, both of them staring at his enraged face as coffee spilled onto he floor from the broken cup. "I go into the kitchen for ONE CUP OF COFFEE... And THIS HAPPENS?!"
"Are you really surprised at this point?" Loki shrugged at him, grinning as Hulk grabbed him by the ankle and held up a vase.
"HULK SMASH PUNY-"
"Everyone...shut...UP!" Natasha roared. In an instant the room fell silent. Only The Black Widow could make Tony Stark, Thor, and Loki stop talking all at the same time.
*CRASH*
Hulk dropped the vase he had been holding onto the ground, his face mortified as he started to shrink back into Banner form while Loki flopped to the ground.
"Someone get Bruce clothes!" Clint shouted as Wanda covered her eyes.
"Here!" She heard a thump of clothes hitting something and opened her eyes to find Bruce awkwardly wearing what looked like a 2x too large green and gold shirt along with some baggy convey pants.
"Sorry." A man in a yellow suit she didn't recognize shrugged. "We only had Loki's spare clothes. He has really bad fashion sense."
"I am not that horrible at picking outfits mid-gardian!" Loki argued.
"Loki, Ultron has better fashion taste then you, and the most I've ever seen him wear is a backwards tie!" The man argued.
"I'M DONE! THIS DAY IS GETTING TOO STRANGE!" Ultron stomped out of the room holding a broken mug as everyone fell silent.
"Well.." Loki said finally. "That's.. A record. It usually takes him FOUR minutes to get aggravated and retreat to his room." He forced a chuckle.
No one laughed.
"Man of Iron!" Thor blurted in his (As Wanda called it) I-Am-Royal-So-I-Must-Shout-Everything-I-Say voice. "I demand to know what is going on!"
Tony groaned. "Why does everyone think I have the answer! I mean, just because I'm a genius billionaire playboy who is super-handsome and extra generous and-"
"Don't turn this into an Emmy ceremony for yourself Stark." Natasha warned him. "Otherwise you'll be wishing your mouth never existed." At this Tony fell completely silent.
Steve was the next to speak.
"Wanda and Vision already know what's going on, they can tell you two, but if you want the basic idea Loki showed up at Avengers Tower with a strike of lightning, he tried to threaten Vizh, but got thrown into a bookshelf by Wanda, he told us he was from a different dimension and we agreed to help. Then Clint and Natasha ran in and they got transported instead of Wanda and Vision." Thor stared at Steve.
Captain I have no idea what you just said." Thor said bluntly as Tony snorted.
"You and everyone else here. He grinned.
"One person!" Clint shouted. "ONE PERSON make this situation into readable, understandable words and I MIGHT believe what is going on today!"
No one said anything.
"Exactly." Clint said exasperatedly.
"Look." Tony groaned. "We all obviously have no idea what is going on, so let's not question it, weirder things have happened.
"Well, to be honest, other than that alien attack-"
Tony glared at Falcon to shut him up.
"As I was saying.."
Wanda sighed.
This day was just getting weirder and weirder.
A/N : Sorry for the week-and a day-long hiatus, school just started and for some reason I have about a billion papers for my parents to sign. So, unfortunately, the update date will have to be stretched out for a chapter every week, more specifically every Saturday, as I don't have the time and energy for a chapter every four days. Sorry guys
I also writing this on mobile, and yeah, to say the least, my IPad has the slowest typing pace in the world. My freaking IPhone 4 types faster. These clast few chapters are pretty much mostly just comedy and dialogue but the next few (8,9,10,11,12,13) Should be more interesting.
See you next week, or in a few days (I already started writing the other chapter) Bye!
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