AN: Okay, so, end of this three-part update, but this entry's kinda on the longer side. Quite a bit is covered in this one. Hope you like it...
October 3, 2007
4:30 AM
I talked to Edward. I was so upset when he came in that I just screamed at him for a good half hour while he frowned at me and listened. I told him that I wanted to find Jake and that I don't trust that he's looking for him, and then, that I was tired of feeling guilty around him and wanted to be able to talk to him again. I cried through most of it, but he seemed to listen through the tears.
When I was done, he sat down calmly on the edge of the bed and took my hand. His main focus was how horrible he felt that he'd made me feel guilty about anything. He said he's been distant, because he feels like I don't want to be around him anymore and if he gives me a chance to talk to him, I'll tell him I want to leave him, and he simply couldn't bare that. I didn't say anything.
Then, his face got very sad, and he said that Jasper and Emmett had, indeed, been searching high and low for Jacob and had not found him. Emmett called Sam, who said they hadn't heard anything from Jake since August when he apparently ran away. Carlisle asked the Volturi, who simply said he was means to an end -- a fun toy to play with, not political, like me. Edward promised he would keep me firmly in the loop.
I kissed him, then. It had been a long time since I had initiated such a move. He was surprised and hesitant. I told him I loved him, and he smiled and reciprocated. Then, we kissed a lot. My heart spiked a bunch of times, and he kept chuckling every time the monitor would beep irregularly. He reached over and closed the door, so no one would come in, concerned. Eventually, he broke away from me and smiled a big, goofy, teeth-bared smile and said, "I thought you needed time."
I shrugged and let him hold me all night. For a while, we watched TV; there was a Top Chef marathon. He kept promising that he could make every dish the chefs made better than they could. To which I would laugh each and every time, and his smile would get a little bit bigger. Then, he turned out the lights and read to me from Alice's issue of Cosmo, in an effort to get me to fall asleep, but his smooth, velvety rendition of "Find the Hair Hue That Expresses You" and "The Top 14 Sex Moves You Didn't Think Were Possible" had me gasping for breath I was laughing so hard. He promised to bring something of more substance for tomorrow and asked me to close my eyes while he sang to me. Yes, that's right--sang. Not hummed, like he usually does. He sang. I finally got to hear the words to my lullaby, along with a bunch of sweet old songs that I'd bet were played in phonographs, once upon a time.
I woke up a little while ago, because of a nightmare. It wasn't anything exciting, blood, torture, Volterra. But Edward was beaming at me when I woke up. He was proud that I'd gotten to sleep on my own and stayed that way for almost the whole night. Alice was there when I woke up, and the three of us talked for a while. Alice said that with the progress I was making, we'd be leaving for Alaska soon. Of course, I asked her what exactly 'soon' meant, and she gave me a little smile with a wink before Edward could cut in with his whole, "Don't get your hopes up. Alice's visions are never one hundred percent."
"A week," she cut him off. I must have perked up, because she put a hand up. "But he's right. Everything's subject to change. Don't get excited, yet."
Emmett talked to Katrina in Alaska and says that the Denali clan is ready for us whenever we want to come. Everyone's really excited to meet me and to see Edward again (cause they missed him the last time the Cullens visited).
Carlisle and Esme made a big deal that they made plans to spend the day at home with each other. I don't need a two doctors at my beck and call anymore, I guess. Edward's enough. I'm excited to get back to the US, where at least everybody speaks English, but I don't want to leave if Jake is wandering around Italy, confused, hurt, and aimless. Hopefully, we'll be able to find him before we leave.
AN: Yay, Bella's getting out of the hospital soon! I'm excited to meet the Denali clan, and I hope all of you are too! And Jake is coming up; I promise. Very shortly. I'll give you a hint: he's not in Italy. The Volturi dropped him off much closer to home.
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