TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts/tendencies, assault, etc. If any of this bothers you, feel free to skim and continue reading in the next chapter.
Gloved hands wrapped around my neck, fingers digging into my skin with inhumane pressure. I struggled against it, my hands reaching up and clawing at the arm. I couldn't see anything and all of my movements felt sloth-like. My body felt unbelievably heavy and I couldn't breath because of the hands clenched around my throat.
"Ah... Perfect. Just like that," a deep, ominous voice purred from above me. I clawed at his hands and their grip grew stronger. A strangled gasp left me and my body arched upwards and into the body of the person pinning me. "Don't. Move!"
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled," he mused, his grip lessening. His hands slid up to my face and curled around to frame it.
"Pl-ea-ss-e. Le-e-et me-ee g-g-o," I choked out.
"No, shh, shh. Don't speak," he commanded. There was a sick feeling of deja vu in the air. I was taking in harsh gulps of air in, thankful that the pressure on my aching throat was gone. The hands moved up into my hair and the fingers tangled in it. He yanked and I cried out. "Good girl. I knew you were going to be special."
"We're going to make beautiful art together, Rio," he whispered. All of these words felt like something off of a script. A pair of lips came down on my own roughly, forcing mine apart as he hungrily kissed me. It was nothing like the sweeter, gentler kiss I'd shared with Max. This kiss was merciless and bruising. He tasted like I imagined fire would taste and when his hands moved down to roam my body it was like hell.
Everything was wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I fought against him as hard as I could. His hands went down to my pants and I could feel the pressure of his knuckles against me as he unbuttoned them. He worked my pants down my legs and off of me, his nails scratching my skin as he went. Then he moved up and I felt his breath against my ear.
"Don't worry. This won't hurt a bit."
"Ah!" I screamed as I jolted up in bed. Sunlight streamed through my window. Chills ran up my spine as I tried to forget the dream. I felt grimy and disgusting. I guess today was as good a day as any to take a shower. Climbing out of bed, I grabbed my basket of shower supplies out of my closet and exited my room. Brooke was milling about in the hall but, besides her, it seemed pretty empty. I walked down to the showers and picked out the middle stall. I put my stuff off to the side and turned the water on the hottest setting. It scorched my skin but I could barely feel it. I reached over for my shampoo once my hair was wet, squeezing some into my hand.
"We're going to make beautiful art together, Rio."
The bottle fell from my hand with a loud crash. My hands flew up to shield my face and I collapsed onto my knees. Water ran over my face and my hair curled around my throat. I pulled and clawed at the strands, shoving them out of the way. I couldn't breathe. It felt like I was choking. The walls of the stall were closing in and the heat from the steam was overbearing.
"It was just a nightmare. God damn it," I growled, taking a deep breath to calm myself down. Redirecting my attention to cleaning myself up, I opened my eyes and grabbed the shampoo bottle off of the ground. Standing back on my feet, I squeezed some more into my hand and put the bottle back with my things before reaching up and kneading the shampoo into my hair.
"Don't worry. This won't hurt a bit."
"God damn it!" I cursed as soap ran into my eye. Scrubbing viciously with my hand, I tried to get the stinging soap out. Once I'd gotten it out, I returned to washing the shampoo out of my hair. "What the hell is wrong with me?"
Once my shower was over and I smelled like coconut, I slipped in to the clothes I'd brought with me. It was a pair of slim fitting, high waisted plum skinny jeans, some black high top converse, and a crop sweater that had "Aztec" print on it. Dressed, I exited the bathroom and went back to my room to drop off my thing and grab my phone.
"Missed a text from Max," I mumbled as I unlocked the screen.
Hey. Can you come over? I think I may have totally pissed off Chloe. -Max
Sure. Two parsecs. -Me
I pocketed my phone and reached over to grab my wallet before leaving my room and heading over to Max's. I wrapped my knuckles on her door, tapping my foot on the floor as I waited for her to open up. Impatient, I reached for the door knob and my hand had barely touched it when my vision was filled with a blinding white light.
My eyes opened and I was greeted by the ceiling of my old bedroom and heavy metal blasting from my stereo. What was I doing back at home? I looked around my bedroom. It looked completely different from how I remembered. Where there were once thousands of band and geeky posters plastered on the wall, there were now morbid portraits and sayings. My full length mirror on my closet door was shattered- a spiderweb crack breaking up the dirty glass. I slipped off of my bed. Even my comforter set was morbid.
I ran my hand through my hair but it stopped much shorter than expected. Startled, I ran across the room and scrutinized my reflection in the broken mirror. I looked freakishly pale- my skin was the color of milk almost. My hair was a short crimson pixie cut with bangs that fell in my eyes. Speaking of my eyes...
"Am I wearing a contact?" I held my bangs back to look at my eyes. My right eye was still slate grey as usual but the left one was hazel- like Lex's. "I don't even know how to put in contacts."
I tried to reach up and touch the contact on my left eye but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Resigning myself to my weird artificial heterochromia, I walked over to my stereo and turned off the loud music.
"What even is this band?" I muttered, popping up the CD thing and taking a look at the band. "Escape the Fate? I've never heard of this. Ever."
My arms itched and I started scratching at them. Looking down, I let out a startled gasp when I saw the thin white line that went horizontally from wrist to the crook of my elbow. Some of them looked old and faded but others looked freshers and ragged. Both of my forearms had one long, faint line that ran through all of the horizontal ones. A chill ran down my spine as I realized what this meant.
"I tried to kill myself?" I gasped, running my fingers along the scars. I reached down to my pants- black, like the shirt I was wearing- and unbuttoned them. Yanking them down to my knees, I examined the long scars on my inner thighs. "Self harm, really? I never..."
"Lexie, what are you doing?!" I exclaimed as I burst into the bathroom and found my sister on the bathroom floor with a razor to her wrist. It was one of our dad's old fashioned ones- like something out of Sweeney Todd. I wrenched it out of her hand and stared at her incredulously. Tears were streaming down her face. I looked down at her wrists and saw two lines on the left and one line on the right. Bloods ran from the fresh wounds. My heart broke in my chest and I let out a sob. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, Rio. Please give it back to me," Lex begged. I shook my head from side to side viciously. Then I took the razor and pressed it against my wrist. Dragging it across the skin, I let out a hiss as blood beaded up in its wake. Lex reached out and grabbed my hands to stop me and I shook her off. "Rio, what are you doing!?"
"We bear the same scars. Always have, always will," I swore, dragging another line across my left wrist and then placing the razor in my left hand and pressing it against my right. "Always."
"You don't need to do this," Lex whimpered. I cut the line across my right wrist. Finished, I present my forearms lined up next to hers.
"Whenever you hurt yourself, you hurt me," I whispered.
I looked back down at my forearms. This was more than a dozen lines whereas after those three Lex and I had never touched a razor to our wrists again.
"So why am I covered in scars?" I pondered as I walked over to my closet and dug out a long sleeve shirt. "Why is my wardrobe all black and grey? What happened to my colors?"
Confused, I slipped on the plain black shirt I'd found and walked out of my bedroom.
"This is super fucking weird," I thought as I walked to the room next to mine.
"Lex?" I called out. If I was back here, surely Lex was here too. "Lex, let me in."
No one answered so I opened the door. Lex's room was completely bare- the only contents were piles of boxes. I went up to one of the boxes and opened it, blowing off dust and digging around inside. A bad feeling had settled in my gut. When I found a photo of Lex and I at the county fair from three years ago, I knew something was definitely wrong. If Lex had moved out or something, she would have taken her photos with her.
"Mom?!" I called out, hoping that this wasn't some weird nightmare. Or maybe I was hoping that it was a nightmare and that I would wake up soon. It felt really weird though. Footsteps bounded up the steps and then my mom was in the doorway to Lex's room.
She looked much older than I remembered. Her dark brown hair was paler with streaks of grey and silver in it. Her hazel eyes had crows feet in the corners and there were worry lines in her forehead. She seemed hunched over like she didn't have the energy to hold herself upright anymore and she was holding a pitcher of tea in one hand.
"What's wrong, hon?" my mom asked. She looked startlingly fragile and a frail voice to match.
"Where's Lex?" I inquired. Her eyebrows furrowed together.
"What would make you ask a question like that?" she prodded.
"All of her things are in boxes," I stated plainly. "I was wondering where she was. I wanted to talk to her about something."
I rubbed my arms subconsciously. My mom spotted the movement and frowned.
"You aren't..hurting yourself again, are you?" Mom asked. I immediately went ramrod straight and dropped my arms to my side.
"No," I replied. My mother let out a sigh of relief and set down the pitcher on the floor. My mom rushed forward to wrap her arms around me. I was surprised by the sudden embrace but allowed it. She smelled like cinnamon and her perfumer- an interesting combination. "Mom. Where's Lex?"
"Now, Rio," my mother pulled away and looked down at me. She was always a bit taller than me. Her hands rubbed up and down my arms comfortingly but I didn't feel comforted. "You know Alexandria isn't here."
"Where is she?" I pressed.
"She's dead, sweetie," my mom's voice broke and tears pricked her hazel eyes- hazel eyes like Lex's. In that moment, I felt my whole world shatter around me. Lex was dead? How could Lex be dead? I couldn't wrap my mind around the idea of Lex not being alive.
"Lex isn't dead. I just saw her yesterday," I insisted. My mother shook her head and looked at my pityingly.
"Your sister passed away in a car accident a long time ago. You know that, Rio. You were on the phone with her when it happened. She got in a collision with some girl driving a red truck. Price, I think her name was? That poor family. Girl was paralyzed in the accident but your sister..," my mother trailed off and a tear slid from the corner of her eye down to her chin.
"Price? Chloe Price?" I edged.
"I think that was her name. It's been almost two years, Rio," my mother informed me.
"Lex died two years ago?" I felt my voice break as I spoke and my legs struggled to hold my weight. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I couldn't understand how all of this had happened. I had just been standing outside of Max's dorm. Now I was back in my childhood home with my mom and my sister was dead. I patted my pockets down and found my phone, pulling it out and searching for Max's number. My Contacts list was completely different.
"Who the hell are these people? Where are Max and Daniel?" I wondered.
"Are you okay, hon?" my mom asked. I shook off her grasp and took a step back.
"I.. I need to go," I told her, brushing by her and heading out into the hall and down the steps. My mother followed after me. At the bottom of the stairs, I found a black trench coat that looked like it was my size on the coat rack. I took it off the hook and slipped it on then headed over to the key post. A label was over a set of worn keys with my name on it.
"Hey. At least I get my car back," I mused. It didn't make the hole in my chest any less unbearable. "I have to find Max. Maybe she'll know what's going on."
"Rio, where are you going?" my mom asked in a concerned tone. "You seem unwell. I don't think you should be driving anywhere."
"I need to go. I'm meeting up with a friend of mine. Her name's Max. You'd like her. She's a total sweetie," I wrapped my arms around my mother and kissed her softly on the cheek before turning and walking out the door.
"Be safe!" my mom called after me.
I found my old blue '97 Camaro waiting in the driveway for me. I could still remember when it broke down on the side of the road during Lex and I's road trip that we took to celebrate our 17th birthday. I guess, since she'd died, I'd never taken that trip. That meant the car never had to try to brave Death Valley on a failing transmission. If this reality was anything like my original one, my wallet would be in the glove box.
I unlocked the door and climbed into the car, reaching across and opening up the compartment. My wallet was right where I expected it to be. A small, sad smile pulled up at the corners of my lips. Closing the compartment, I buckled myself up and turned my key in the ignition.
"Well thank you me," I muttered as I looked at the gas hand. Apparently, I'd filled old Delilah up last time I'd driven her. "Arcadia Bay, here I come."
It took about an hour and a half of driving- speeding- to reach Arcadia Bay. Once I was back in the semi familiar landscape, I drove straight to Blackwell Academy. Swerving into the parking lot, I left my car parked crookedly in the first available spot I could find and clambered out without bothering to lock it up. I had my wallet and my phone. There was nothing else valuable in that vehicle. Besides, if I could figure out what had happened to change the course of time like this then it wouldn't matter if I'd left my car for some high as balls teenager to jack.
I took off at a sprint across campus until I reached the main building. Victoria and the rest of her little club were sitting around on the grass outside. I went to pass them when I picked up a piece of what she was saying.
"I can't believe Max would just take off like that," Victoria stated. "She still hasn't texted me back."
"It's not like her," Taylor agreed.
"We never should have let her into the Vortex Club," Courtney sneered.
"Did I hear you guys say Max Caulfield left?" I asked, stopping next to the group of teenagers. Several pairs of eyes went to me. Victoria made a face at me.
"Who are you?" she asked in a snobby tone. I did my best to bury the hostility that threatened to boil over. I really did not have the patience for Victoria Chase right now. She was scrutinizing me- the same way she had on that first day. "Emo freak."
"Where the fuck is Max?" I growled.
"What do you want with Maxine?" Victoria asked. "Are you on something?"
"I'm having a really bad day, Victoria. You really want to tell me where Max went. Now," I glowered at the girl.
"How do you know my name, freak?" Victoria inquired. I rolled my eyes at her.
"I am so not in the mood," I huffed.
"Can I help you, bitch?" Nathan Prescott came up from behind me and turned me around.
"No. The last thing I need is Daddy's Boy breathing down my neck," I hissed at him, turning back towards Victoria. "Now-"
"Who do you think you are?" Nathan turned me around to face him, anger burning in his eyes. I took a threatening step towards him, balling my hands into fists.
"I think I am not someone you want to piss off," I informed him in a low growl.
"Max went to the art room!" Taylor cut in. I turned to her with a raised brow. "Mr. Jefferson's class. She said she wanted to talk to him about her photo for the contest."
"Now was that so hard?" I asked, pushing past Nathan and heading towards the front doors of Blackwell Academy. I got inside and headed towards Mr. Jefferson's classroom. I got inside and found the room completely empty. "Lying motherfucker."
"You talk a lot of shit for some nobody," Nathan Prescott stated as he walked into the room. I wheeled around to face him. I couldn't believe the asshole had actually followed me. He closed in on me, shutting the door behind him, with a dark look in his eyes.
"Back the fuck up, Nathan Prescott," I ordered, backing into Jefferson's desk. Nathan kept charging forward, rage alive in his eyes.
"If you know my name then you know my family owns this town," Nathan assumed.
"I know you're a psychotic asshole that really needs some serious medication," I responded. Nathan rushed forward and rammed into me, shoving me back onto the desk. His forearm pressed into my throat, cutting off my airway. I reached up and clawed at his arm in an effort to get him to get off of me. He'd placed himself between my legs so kneeing him in the crotch wasn't an option.
"You don't even know me. You don't know anything about me," Nathan roared. I managed to pull his arm away from my neck a fraction of an inch but an angry Nathan was a lot stronger than a messed up me. And today had me really messed up so far.
"Mr. Prescott," Mr. Jefferson's voice boomed through the room as the door opened. Nathan froze up and then pulled away from me as if he'd had ice water poured down his back. I took in a large gasp of air. Coughing, I pulled myself up from the desk and ended up sinking to my knees. Using it for support, I leaned back against Mr. Jefferson's desk. "Don't you have a party to be planning?"
"Yes, Mr. Jefferson," Nathan mumbled, leaving the room and shutting the door behind him. Mr. Jefferson walked up to me and knelt in front of me. His eyes scanned my face but there was no recognition in his gaze.
"Are you alright miss?" he asked. I nodded but I could feel tears escaping and running down my cheeks. It was all too much. Everything was so different. "What's wrong?"
"Everything," I gasped out. "Everything is wrong. Max is friends with Victoria. Lex is dead. It's all so wrong."
"And I keep having nightmares about this dark room?" I buried my head in my hands.
"A dark room?" Mr. Jefferson asked. There was a small change in his voice- one that I almost didn't notice. I wiped my eyes and looked back up at him. His gaze was so intense it almost scared me.
"I wake up there and I can't move. My wrists and ankles are bound and I feel like I've been drugged or something. There's a man there and he...," I broke off, unable to continue. It was just a nightmare anyway. I didn't know why I was telling Jefferson about it.
"A man? What did he look like?" Jefferson pressed.
"I don't know. I just.. I need to find Max," I pulled myself up onto my feet and left the room. I walked back out into the plaza and started off towards the dorms. I got several weird looks on the way but once I made it up to the second floor there was no one around to look at me. Max's room was in front of me before I knew it and I was opening her door with a quick twist of the knob.
Her room was empty. It looked different from how it had just last night. It looked girly- preppier. I set about digging through her things like a snoop trying to find something with a hint as to where she went or her phone number scrawled on it. Half an hour later and my search seemed to be in vain when I found a post it note with her cell number scrawled across the top. I dialed it into my phone and pressed Call.
"Come on, Max. Answer," I begged. My call went to voicemail and I groaned.
"Hey Max, it's Rio. I don't know what the hell is going on. Lex.. Lex is DEAD. Nothing is right. Please, call me when you get this." I left a message and hung up just as Max's bedroom door opened behind me. I turned to look at the person entering but a gloved hand covered my eyes. I felt a pinch on the side of my neck and all of strength in my limbs left me. "Wha-?
"Shh. Don't try to talk," a vaguely familiar voice commanded. I felt myself being lifted into someone's arms as the hand pulled away. My vision was completely blurred.
"Who?" I struggled to talk.
"Shh," he repeated. My head lolled back and I was consumed by darkness.
There was dark, damp earth underneath my fingertips when I awoke. I wouldn't really call it awakening though. I still felt like there were weights tied to my limbs. Looking around, I spotted headlights several feet away.
"H-hello?" I croaked, trying to move. A figure appeared silhouetted in the light from the headlights. My vision was still blurry and it was dark so I couldn't distinguish the person's figures. They approached me, earth crunching under their feet until they were standing over me. "Can you...Can you help me? I think...I've been drugged."
The person didn't respond. I eyes the dark blob in their hand. I made out the shape of the needle too late as the man crouched next to me and pressed the needle into my neck. I cried out but the drugs went to work quickly. I felt my body grow even headier as the darkness started to creep in again. All I could think about was Max getting my voicemail too late and Lex. Lex- my sister that was dead in this reality, in this nightmare.
My assailant's face loomed over mine for just a moment before my vision gave way to the dark nothingness that I felt beckoning me.
"I know you," I thought just as all of my thoughts slipped away and I was dragged into the darkness.