Hearts & Flowers to 'moore8879' who took this disaster of a chapter and made it eligible…she abso-fuckin'-lutely rocks!

And SM still owns it all…So maybe she can afford to pay Bella's bail when she needs it?

Chapter 6

Bella's POV

That alarm is so going out of the window if it doesn't shut THE FUCK UP!

With on eye open, I realized three things simultaneously.

One. The clock has an off button. Bliss.

Two: It is Monday and I have school. So I have to get up. Meh!

And Three: I can't actually throw the clock out of the window; since I nailed and glued the fucker shut.

Okay, now I'm awake.

Time to start my second week at FFHS; I can only hope it is as much fun as the first one was.

Something's wrong!

The light in the room is…different. I staggered to the window and looked out.

"What the fuck?"

Okay.

Now you're talking to yourself, that can't be good but seriously…What the fuck?

Snow, Snow and more fucking snow…and I bet that comes with a slice of ice.

I may not be the klutz I once was, but that doesn't mean I like slipping and sliding around on cold, wet shit.

Hmm... I wonder?

I pressed my nose to the glass and noticed the mess on the window frame is hardly noticeable. Cool. It's unlikely that Charlie would come in here and try to open or look out of the window, but it's best to check.

I have a huge smile on my face, when I think back about it.

(Flashback)

As I parked my truck, I glanced at the house and vaguely thought that it was looking kind of shabby and could do with a coat of paint.

Ooh! that reminds me.

I walked around to the side of the house that my bedroom was on and looked up. The light was a little dim. I needed to move closer.

The tree.

I climbed up high enough to be at a level with my window.

I couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud; when I saw the mess on and around my window frame. There were smears that trailed across and down to the ground.

Score!

One for the Swan; Vapours for the vamps.

Jesus, they must have been covered in the crap; they certainly did a good job at spreading it around. Well whoever it was deserves it for being a nosey peeping fuckin' tom.

Speaking of which, you get quite a good view of my room from this position.

Scowling, I briefly considered chopping it down, but I figured that even clueless, unobservant Charlie would notice if a big-arsed tree from his yard had suddenly disappeared.

Hmm... That's a problem for another day.

(End of flashback)

Still sniggering to myself, I staggered to the shower.

It really is a pain in the ass having to share a shower and not have one of my own. I mean Charlie was nice about it, apologising and clearing space for me, but it still is a pretty basic bathroom.

My mind drifted to the previous week whilst I showered.

I felt bad about the three ring circus that I had put Charlie through this past week; but it was necessary, and I couldn't deny that it wasn't fun.

So far it looks like it's all going according to plan.

There have been a few spanners in the works, which were unexpected and kind of spoiled my fun a little. The main one being Edward Cullen disappearing of the face of the planet.

Still, Forks seems to have an abundance of imbeciles' to play with and opportunities abound to cause hassle; so it's not been a complete waste of time or particularly hard work.

The Cullen's have stayed out of my way, which was perfect but I know full well that very little has escaped their attention this past week where I was concerned.

The main point is that Charlie is at his wits end.

My rep' is off the fuckin' chart for Forks and the verdict is split: half the town think I need to be locked up for juvenile delinquency and the other half blame Charlie for letting my flighty mother take me away.

Charlie needs help and I don't believe it will take much longer before he calls it in.

With that happy thought I decided on what to wear.

It's going be cold out there.

So…black skinny jeans and tight sweater?

Yes.

Perfect.

It will go perfect with my shit-kicker biker boots.

"Wha..." Who or what the fuck is banging on the door?

"What in God's name do you think you are fuc…?" I hollered as I ran down the stairs.

I flung open the door and I almost fell over at the sight standing before me.

"Are you fuckin' kidding me?" I whisper shout as I dragged his ass through the door.

Okay, to be fair he let me drag him in.

"Get your goddamn sparkly ass in here now, before some nosy neighbor notices your disco-ball butt".

I slammed the door. I then turned and threw myself into his arms for a hug

"Oh God! I've missed you"

"Me too princess, me too" he said as he returned the hug. "Princess?"

I let go of him reluctantly and stepped back so I could look up at his face.

"What are you doing here? Is…" I was cut off.

"We need to talk. You have been doing great but there is a little change of plans and I don't have much time. I need you to listen to me very carefully okay? You will need to do exactly as I say..."

(30 minutes later)

The drive to school was marginally more interesting due to the snow.

My truck handled fine. Thanks to the snow chains Charlie put on. He must've gotten up at silly o'clock to put them on, which enables me to not only drive just dandy but also to Slush-spray Mr. Jones.

Mr. Jones felt it was his moral and civic duty; to inform Charlie when he spotted me spray-painting his neighbours "For Sale" sign which, for 6 fabulous hours, instead of reading "For Sale by Owners for a Quick Sale", read "For Sale by Owners because my neighbour is an Ass-Hole".

Turnabout is fair play, but paybacks a bitch.

Of course, after that it didn't exactly require a genius to figure out who had graffiti all the "STOP" signs to now read "STOP" "Hammer Time".

Charlie made me clean them all.

I know I am just trying to distract myself from what I'm going to have to do shortly; but surely I can be forgiven for that. I mean, I have balls that are pure fuckin' brass and I am going to need every inch of 'em in the coming minutes.

(Flashback)

(30 minutes earlier)

He'd been talking now for two whole minutes. I had been steadily losing it for about one minute and thirty seconds.

He fuckin' well knew this.

"C'mon princess" he said giving me puppy dog eyes

Are you shitting me or what 'brother'? No one said anything about putting me in mortal danger. Don't think for a minute that I've forgiven you yet, for your little omission about Edward - I 'vant' to suck your blood – Cullen" I ranted.

"Trust me princess. Just pull into your usual parking spot and do what I just said to you and you will be fine, better than fine. Anyways, you want' to live forever?" he asked wryly.

"What part of "running with vamps" for the last three years would you not consider as being in mortal danger?" he finished wearing a shit eating grin.

"I'm gonna grass your ass up and it's gonna get whipped" I swore knowing my sister would do it if I asked her to.

"She only wants what's best for you Baby Bell. You're her favourite little sister." he wasn't even trying hard to persuade me.

He knew full fuckin' well that I trust him and I would do what he fuckin' said.

"One day I'm gonna be able to kick your ass myself brother."

"Yeah, but not today princess, not today."

(End of flashback)

We talked a little longer before both he and I had to leave.

He refused to explain any further about what was going to happen or why he was here in Forks.

I pulled into the parking lot and huffed.

My nerves are almost getting the better of me.

Almost.

This had better fuckin' work.

Let's just hope I don't get my derrière dusted while it played out.

I mentally chanted you will not die; you will not die, and vowed if I did I was going to come back and haunt some sparkly asses.

I climbed out of my truck and glanced around.

I noticed that there were three Cullen's and two Hale's that were climbing out of their car. It looks like Eddie is back from the great beyond, but I only saw them briefly, because into my direct line of sight walked Mike Newton.

He was slowly approaching me and he was sporting a mischievous smile.

He was also holding a massive slush ball.

"If that comes within five fuckin' feet of me I will whang your wiener so fuckin' hard, you'll spit out your dick and snort out your balls".

He promptly turned the same colour as the slush ball, and then faded to a fantastic shade of green, before he turned tail and practically ran towards the main building.

In his haste he failed to notice the slick patch of ice that had formed which caused the subsequent slip, slide and splat. It was made even more spectacular when he took an unsuspecting Lauren down with him. She somehow managed to land flat out with her face in a winded Mike's crotch.

Huh! Death on the Steamin' Semen highway...that's some fuckin' epitaph!

I unfortunately had limited time to enjoy the show. I made my way to the back of my truck.

I had just bent down to admire my snow chains with my heart pounding in my chest when I heard it…a loud, metallic screeching sound that was getting painfully louder by the second.

As I straightened up and swung my head towards the sound, my brain registered, but couldn't really understand what I was seeing:

Edward's face held a look of horror.

Emmett, Rose and Jasper's were ones of shock.

Alice's face wore a strange combination of happiness and triumph.

My head continued its seemingly slow-motion turn and just as it occurred to me that something was wrong with this tableau, my vision was filled with the blue siding of a sliding van.

The van was careening straight for the back of my truck and unfortunately I just happened to be standing between it and its destination.

On purpose and I am not even 100% sure why!

"Fu..." I was suddenly hit from the side by what felt like a boulder, smacking me down onto the blacktop where my head cracked on it with a resounding thud.

I could feel the icy floor underneath me and icy arms above and around me, pinning me down.

And the fuckin' van just kept on comin'

I was suddenly lifted and whipped around so I was no longer directly on the ground and my legs were no longer splayed out in the path of the vans wheels.

I heard the crunching of metal and the breaking of glass but I couldn't actually see anything as I was…snuggled…being firmly held…to a broad chest that my face was squashed into.

"Bella? Are you ok darlin'?"

A/N

Like it, Love it, Loathe it…send your reviews because I want to know.

Ok, I know it was short but it's better than nothing right? Course it is…and if you moan, Bella might come and kick some fuckin' derriere's *grins*