Gangster Genius: Inside the Mind of Light Yagami Chapter 6: KIRA KIRA KIRA!, a death note fanfic

Inside The Mind Of Light Yagami

Yes, I'm extrodinarily sorry that I haven't been updating any of my stories in like, forever…Aw, screw it, I'm just going to write this anyway. Who cares?

Mikami is so…

Weird.

He's like a frickin' fangirl, ya know?

"KIRAKIRAKIRAKIRA!!"

"You know, Mikami, it's bad for my image if you keep yelling my name like that…"

"-tear-okay."

I so pwned Matt at MarioKart the other day.

He was all, "WTF, n00b!"

And I was like, "You just been pwned, suckah!"

Then Mello was like, "OMFG, pwnage?!"

And Matt was like, "Let's have hot yaoi lemonyness."

So we did.

It was hawt and yaoi-like.

Misa would be scared.

"Near, what's the probability that L was Kira?"

"…Your face."

"WTF? N00b."

FEAR ME AND MY N00B-CALLING SKILLAGE.

No one else can put their "FEAR ME"s in caps lock.

Why? Because I'm Kira.

And I can kill y'all's.

"What?"

Ryuk somehow got hay fever.

Now he's all…snotty and stuff.

"Nice."

Transformers…Mello's in disguise!

Really, Mello's a girl.

But since there aren't any girl leaders in the Mafia (AN: Raito! How sexist of you! –shames-) he had to dress up like a guy.

"Do you really want me to shoot you repeatedly, until you flail pathetically and die?"

"…Er, no, that sounds painful."

"-grins- It is."

But then I reminded him about our hot yaoi lemonyness and he forgave me.

Forgave…

L is a boob.

That's right.

And now he's dead, so he can't do a thing about it.

This calls for an evil laugh.

Muah, hua, hua, hau, ahuaah, bua, ha, hmaha, ldkfja, a;jfa;oitfas;fjlk;ajf!

That's right.

"That was spastic."

"Shut up, Matt!"

Damn Near and his all-white emoness.

I caught L making out with Misa in the hallway.

I was all, "OMGZ! YOU CHEATER! –cries-"

And L was all, "This wasn't what it looks like,"

And Misa was all, "You man-hoe!"

And I was all, "Boob."

So we beat him up.

After we beat L up, though, the fangirls came and kicked our fannies all over the place.

They took L and glomped him until he passed out.

'Twas shweetness.

"Near, you're a sheep."

"…What?"

"You're a sheep."

"…Okay then."

Mikami's like, a creepy pedophile or something.

He doesn't smile, he leers.

And he watches wrestling.

"GOOO REY MYSTERIOOOO!! 619! 619!!"

"…What the hell's a 619?"

"-turns in awe- HIS SIGNATURE MOVE, DUUUUUUH!!"

"…I see."

Mikami's also started exclusively talking in capitals.

It irks me so.

"KIRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"

"STFU, n00b!"

"…Why must you hurt me in this way?"

"L, I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to Mr. Loud Kira Proxy Crazy Attorney Twisted Childhood over there."

I walked into Matt and Mello having lemony goodness.

I was all, "LOL, can I have some?"

And they were like, "Sure, have some pie."

It was AWESOME pie.

The fangirls misread the memo, so we had a lemon pie bake sale.

Pure shweetness, I'm telling you.

I found an emoticon online.

It comes up whenever I type "I want some pie."

It's just full of pie-y gangstaness.

Can't touch this…

You know what really makes me mad?

Texas with a dollar sign.

Like this: Texa.

I'm like, WTF?

And Mello put it on his license plate, so everyone that drives around him's gonna be like, WTF?!

Texas does not deserve a dollar sign.

It deserves better.

It deserves…

Texaz.

Now that's what I call SHMEXY, peoples!

"LOMG!"

"What?"

"Shmexy's in the dictionary!"

"NO WAI!"

It was.

Shmexy:Light Moon Unit Middle Name Yagami and his awesome skillage.

I was so happy, I resurrected Webster with a ham hock.

COLLARD GREENS, BAHBEH!!

Mello's theme song is SexyBack.

He sings it in the shower.

It's pure hilarity.

"I'm bringing shmexy back…"

Rem came back to life!

I saw her in the grocery store.

"Whatcha doin', Rem?"

"I'm buying apples for my new hubby Ryuk!"

I was all, "OMG NO WAI."

And she was all, "OMG YES WAI."

So we did the tarantella and stole all of Mello's chocolate so he'd spaz again.

It worked.

"WHERE IS MY FRICKIN' CHOCOLATE YOU FRICKIN' IDIOTS WHERE THE HELL I NEED MY CHOCOLATE GIVE ME CHOCOLAAAATTTEEEE!! AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!"

He broke my fridge.

It was a sad, sad day.

Matt let me wear his goggles for an hour.

They were all…orange and stuff, and smelled like cigarettes.

But damn, I looked hawt in them.

G4ng57ah hawt.

"y3770w, h4wt pwnage!"

"STFU!"

Matsuda needs to get over Misa.

He's all, "I luv misa, I'm going to tattoo her onto my left earlobe,"

And I'm all, "WTF, misa sux."

And then there was a total bi-atch slap fight.

Mello took pictures.

Watari changed his name to Fishbiscuits Sheryl!

L was all, "WTF?!"

So we had to do a chest bump, 'cos, you know, it's good for the fannage.

Butch slap!

I was listening to DCFC the other day, and Near came in.

"WTF are you doing listening to my awesome hawt CDs?"

"Becoming Emo Kira."

"DUUUUUUUDDDE! YOU CAN'T BE EMO KIRA!! I'M THE ONLY EMO ONE!"

I was all, "Okay, man."

Therefore, we chilled out to some tuneful music.

It was tuneful.

Moreover, mellow.

"PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME, PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME, PEANUT BUTTER JEEELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JEEEELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY WITH A BASEBALLBAT! PEANUTBUTTERJELLYWITHABASEBALLBAT! NOW WHERE YOU AT, WHERE YOU AT…"

L enjoys singing karaoke.

I can't imagine why.

Mustn't is a very strange word.

Aizawa has an AFRO!!

He needs to get a dewrag and wear it all over the place.

Then he'd be gangsta.

But nooooo, he has to keep being some type of random police guy.

Jeezus H. Murphy.

What is wrong with these peoples? They're all…

So…

Non-gangsta.

L is such a pervert.

Yes, it's true.

Don't let him drool all over you.

L is such a pervert.

Yeah, you see,

Right now he's staring right at me.

L is quite a pervert.

Don't you know,

He gapes at all the ladies at the big show.

He's such a pervert.

For you and me,

The amount of perversion seems really crazy.

-A rap by Light Moon Unit Middle Name Yagami.

I sang that song to L.

He cried in joy, or maybe just because I'd kicked him in the family jewels.

Ah well, same thing.

BOOOOOOGERS!

Y'know when L was spinning around in his chair with the sweets?

He was singing.

"You spin me right round baby right rouuuunnnddd…"

After three hours of it, he fell off of his chair and puked his guts out.

It's on Youtube.

Check it.

Matt is a beast at bocce ball.

"OH SNAP, SEE THAT? THAT'S A TOUCH RIGHT THAR! PWNAGE!"

"You win. Get over it."

"GIVE ME YOUR MONEYS, Y'ALL! LOSERS!"

Kira is BOSS.

'Nuff said.

Hopefully this has satiated your appetite for everything utterly stupid and Raito/Light related.

I need ideas, so review and send me your little e-plot bunnies.

Matt is a shmexy beast. And I say that out of fangirl love. I keep drawing him all over my homework…

It adds pizzazz to my day.

Pizzazz…

That is indeed funkytastic.

Authoress Tidbit No. 6 or something…

I am absolutely in love with In Rainbows (Radiohead's newest album), Pretty. Odd. (Panic at the Disco's new album) and Narrow Stairs (DCFC's new album). They're so awesome… I draw to DCFC, 'cos it's so mellow, and write to Pretty. Odd. 'cos the lyrics make no sense. Radiohead is too awesome to be used for such petty tasks.

And I'm cosplaying as L for some random day, maybe Hallowe'en…

Anyway, review. Or my seventh grade fanclub will come and demand Kanpai!'s second volume, which is really hard to track down when you don't live anywhere near a Barnes and Noble. It's indie manga.

L! WOO!