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Here is chapter six with My Realization! ENJOY!

Why do I feel bad about this? I've done these thousands of times. It's normal for me to be exact.

I just brush the thought away from my mind.

Lunch came and I see Katniss coming to me. "Hey!" her voice melts me.

I stare at her and notice she's more beautiful than ever. "Hey." I say in reply.

"So, do you want to hang out later?" She asks in a friendly tone, looking straight into my eyes.

Wrong timing! Ugh, so who? My 'friend' Katniss or my best friends? Her or them? I am so going to regret this. "I'm sorry, I have to… Uhm… I'm hanging out with someone else today."

"Oh," a sad expression came across to her face. "I'll just go to the hospital to visit Gale then."

"Oh" I reply.

"Have you visited Gale already? I heard his getting better." She says

Suddenly, Daina, Keith, Lou, and Viola came to approach me. I suddenly have the urge to say something mean so I wouldn't look bad in front of them. "Look," I say in a mean tone "I would never visit that cousin of yours, so keep it out of your mind. Okay? And DON'T talk to me unless you're tutoring me. Okay?" They all begin to laugh at her. The emotions anger, hurt, and disappointment then came across her face. She then slaps me so hard that there could be a hand mark on my face.

Ugh! Why did I say that? I didn't mean it.

Viola then speaks "What? You think just because he spent the weekend with you, he would like to do every damn thing with you?" Katniss just stares at her with rage. "You wish."

She just crossed the line; Katniss comes flinging at her, tackling her to the ground leaving large scratch marks on her face, which I know won't look good for her party this evening. Ms. Trinket then comes in the room to pull them of each other, ruining her make-up. "What is the meaning of this?" she says in rage. Both of them just stood still. "BOTH OF YOU! PRINCIPALS OFFICE! NOW!" the three of them then both left. I could feel Katniss glaring at me through the sides of her eyes.

What have I done? This is a tragedy.

Keith then taps my shoulders saying "Good work; you're one with us again." I fake a smile in reply.

This day has got to be the worst day ever. What would I say to her? I wish this day never came.

A few more hours then it's already dismissal.

I receive a text from Lou saying that the party was moved to Daina's house instead.

Well, I don't have any homework for now, Katniss is probably to mad at me to hang out, I don't want to face my family at this day, so I just have no choice but to go there.

While I was passing down the hallway, I notice Katniss is still fixing her things at her locker. I approach her but she notices me before I even get to her. She then gives me a glare and moves away with Delly and Madge.

I feel like someone has poked a huge hole on my chest. And I don't want to think it but I know I deserve that hole.

But I know I can't do anything about it. I am an ass and it is only now that I realized it.

She helped me with things even if we both know we can't stand each other and I paid her by being a jerk ass.

She became open to me as to become my friend and I paid her by pushing her away.

I really don't know what to do with it but I think I'll just ignore it and continue this rough path where I have chosen to be in.

After a few hours, I already went to the house of Daina and see that it is a huge hit.

I think there might be hundreds of people here. Some I see at school, some invited by others in school, and some are from other districts. I think I might enjoy this and just push my sorrow off.

When I am inside, I see some drunken people drinking, laughing, and puking. I see girls in bikinis and boys in boxer shorts jumping in the pool. I see some people dancing with the music and I see some people making out in the open.

I then take a few shots with some people I have never met before.

Someone suddenly taps me at the back and what I see is a hot girl with dark hair, fair skin, and brown eyes. She is wearing what must be the shortest skirt I have ever seen and a tank top that fits perfectly on her body. She then puts her hands around my neck and began to speak to me. "Hey hottie!" I could smell from her breath that she is drunk.

I then see Daina behind her. "Hey" She starts. "I see you've met Clove."

Clove then turns around, almost stumbling, telling Daina "Do you have a free room? Where we could do it, you know…" She then came nearer to Daina's ear and whispers something.

A smirk then appears from Daina's mouth then she points to her room. "Don't mess it too much." She says leaving.

"Yey!" Clove says in a happy tone, dragging me along to come with her.

Once we're at the room, Clove pushes me on the bed letting me lean on the board. She then joins me and sits on top of me. Kissing my neck up to my jaw then to my mouth entering her tongue inside me.

Why do I feel like I don't want this? I have done this a million times before.

I suddenly have a flashback from yesterday at this point of time. I kissed her hand, and then she kissed my cheek. I remember seeing her in the moonlight. Seeing how beautiful she was. Not just outside but also inside. How she would do anything for her families sake.

Clove then starts unbuttoning my shirt. Kissing every part of my chest as she goes on.

I then remember about how an ass I have been to her earlier. How I pushed her away, even though she was very friendly to me which is rare for her.

Clove resumes kissing my mouth.

A small voice then begins to speak in my mind. Get out of there! What are you doing? Having fun? What does it look like? Well, the question is, are you really having fun? How would you know if I'm having fun or not? I'm in your head. And this girl is kissing you like crazy but you're still thinking about Katniss. Good point… But even if I would apologize to Katniss, she wouldn't even forgive me. I mean, you know how she is. Well, you even haven't tried to apologize. How would you know what's going to happen? Because I know her very well. No! It's because you're afraid about her rejecting you. It's true. You haven't been rejected before and you're scared of being rejected. Okay, fine… I'm afraid. But this isn't just any girl, this is Katniss. She's not like the others. Isn't it worth it though?

Clove then starts to remove her tank top.

Do something! Before her anger from you becomes permanent. You are so going to pay me for this.

Before she could unzip my pants, I quickly went out of bed and got my shirt. "Sorry," I say. "Emergency."

She looked shocked. After I went out the door, I heard her shout "What the hell!" that was heard in the whole corridor.

I then bump into someone that is only now that I notice, Keith. "Hey man, where are you going?" He says, very drunk.

I just ignore him and rushed out of the house going to the Seam.

Yeah! That's my man!

Once I was at her house, I knock quietly at the door only to find Prim holding her cat.

She looks at me for an explanation. "Can I talk to Katniss?" I ask her.

She looks at me suspiciously. Finally she says, "She went to visit Gale at the hospital. If you like, you could come in here and wait for her." She says unblocking the door, making path for me. Once I sat at the couch, she sat on the chair opposite me. "Where have you been? It's midnight and it doesn't look like you went to bed yet. And you smell funny."

Oh gosh! I forgot what happened at the party. "Nothing." I answer.

She still looks at me suspiciously. "Your shirt's buttoned the wrong way."

I look down at my shirt and notice that she is right. "Oh my gosh! Sorry…" I say. "Could I go to a room where I could fix it." she then points to the door near me. I went in and quickly fix my shirt.

Once I got out of the room and sat down the couch, her cat quickly leaped at my lap. "Nice cat." I say, trying to make conversation.

"Buttercup." She says.

"What?"

"That's his name. Buttercup."

"Oh."

A few more awkward silence came and then the door opened only to reveal Katniss and Cynthia. Anger immediately appears on her face but she tries to control it. "Mom, Prim, why don't you both go to sleep now." She says softly, trying to control the anger in her voice. They both went in their room and without any alarm; Katniss pushes me out of the door with so much force. "What are you doing here?" she hisses angrily.

I look at her in shock. But even though she is with rage, I really can't take my eyes of her. How she still shines in the moonlight, how even though her hair is a mess, it still fits her perfectly, and how her eyes still sparkle in the moonlight. I really can't believe why I pissed her off.

She takes a step closer at me which snaps me back to reality. "Well?" she asks harshly, readying her fist to punch me.

I back of a little and tell her "I-I… I just came here to apologize." I say nervously.

She then pushes me again letting me fall on my back telling me "Apology not accepted, JERK ASS!" she yells at me before entering back into her house, slamming the door.

That went well. I think sarcastically. What am I going to do now? If only that small voice is here telling me what to do.

I then have a flashback about how the problem started. She was asking me to come to the hospital with her to visit Gale. And I pissed her.

Of course!

I think I'll just have to visit someone from the hospital tomorrow.

But for now, I think I'll just hit the sack to be early for tomorrow.

Hmmm ...

Not much to say...

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