Disclaimer: don't own it.
Chapter 6: Sparks
"So it was Dilandau?"
"Yes," Van said, slouching on a chair beside Allen in the main tent. He didn't feel particularly inclined to tell Allen that Dilandau had also recognized him. "I would suggest sending a patrol, or several patrols, in a 2 mile radius around the camp, in case he is still waiting somewhere. Better to be safe than sorry."
The older man nodded. "I agree," he said. "You will be going as well, of course."
"Of course." The warrior straightened his posture slightly in unrest. "He wanted something with Hitomi, but I don't know what."
Allen sighed. "Neither do I," he said grimly. "I don't know anything about her past at all."
Van frowned. "How can you not?" he asked. "Hasn't she been living with your little band of hoodlums?"
Allen gave him a quelling look at Van's description of his company. "She hasn't been with us that long," he explained. "We took her in because we found her unconscious, nearly dead, one night a few weeks ago."
Nothing in Van's eyes changed, but then, nothing ever seemed to. "I see."
"Maybe you could find out where she's from," the blond-haired man suggested.
Van gave a harsh laugh. "Hardly. I was lucky to find out what she really thought of me."
Allen raised his eyebrows. "What's that?" he asked curiously.
Van shrugged. "She hates me," he said dispassionately.
A faint look of relief passed through Allen's eyes. "Well, she doesn't like me much either," he admitted, looking off to the side.
Van studied him curiously. "Are you in love with her?"
Allen frowned at him. "I don't know that I want to talk about my personal life with you. After all-"
"Allen." The black-haired warrior stared the other down, intimidating him with sheer obstinacy. "Do you love her?"
"Of course I care for her," Allen said obtusely.
"Love, Allen. I said love."
Allen shrugged. "How can I know it's love?" he asked helplessly. "She can't return my feelings at all, apparently. How can I fall in love like that? Besides, I barely know her."
Van's mouth flattened. "You can be in love without the other person loving you back," he said in monotone. "And you don't necessarily need a long history to know it is love. You better decide whether you love her or not. And if you do…" he almost grimaced, "you better chase her down and make sure she knows it."
Allen stared off into the distance, contemplating his feelings.
Van really despised giving pep talks about relationships. Like he had ever been successful in any. He almost laughed with the irony, but suppressed the urge. Allen probably wouldn't take it very well if he started laughing at random. Most likely he would take offense from his whole high-and-mighty routine that he seemed so fond of. Van hoped Hitomi wouldn't hate him too much for spurring Allen's feelings…but he could understand Allen's confusion. He only wished it could have been so easy for him.
* * *
"Hitomi?"
She turned and smiled at the blonde knight. "Allen. How are you?"
"Fine, fine," he said, displaying his charming smile. "I wanted to apologize for earlier today."
"For what?"
"For allowing that to happen."
"What…the attack? It wasn't your fault."
"I feel like it was," Allen said solemnly. "I should've been there to protect you."
"Allen, you can't follow me around all the time, protecting me from every little thing that might attempt to hurt me."
"I wish I could."
She sighed. "Please, Allen…"
"Hitomi…" He looked imploringly into her eyes, and promised, "I'll always protect you. By my honor as a knight. Always."
She smiled softly, relinquishing her emotional distance. "That's sweet, Allen," she said, giving him a friendly hug that he returned heartily.
Van came back from his search to find Allen and Hitomi embracing outside of the mess tent. With a shrug, he thought ruefully that it was a pity his advice worked for someone else but not for him. He walked away, leaving the two lovers to their devices.
"I love you, Hitomi."
She let go abruptly. "Allen," she said sternly, physically removing his arms from around her. "I already told you about this. Don't you listen at all?"
His eyes were wounded. "I can't help it," he said sincerely. "With you, I feel at peace. I don't know why that is. I can't understand it."
"Allen, can I make this any clearer?" Now she was panicking. She could like him, certainly, but she wasn't even close to loving him! "I don't love you like that. I don't know if I ever will. It's too soon, it's too much."
"Time isn't necessary," Allen stated. "All you need is love."
"No!" Hitomi let out a breath in frustration. "Allen, what can I possibly do or tell you to make you understand?"
"You sure fooled me, Hitomi," he said, a spark of resentment in his eyes replacing the entreaty.
"What?"
"All the things you did. You sure know how to fool a guy."
She felt her face flush as she remembered Van's words earlier. "Allen, you just took what I did too seriously. I-"
"That embrace sure seemed like it meant something," he muttered bitterly. "The way you would rest your hand on my arm…"
"No, I mean…" Her words stumbled, trying to make any sense. "I mean…I meant that hug…just like a friend. Understand? Like I would do for Gaddes, or…or… And whenever I touched you or got close…it wasn't because I was trying to entice you or anything…I mean…I'm not like that!"
Allen nodded unconvincingly. "So my love means nothing to you?"
She could feel foolish tears burning behind her eyes. "It's not that it means nothing," she tried to explain. "It's that…I can't return it."
"Can't, or won't?"
Biting her lip, she admitted, "Both."
He pursed his lips. "Is there any way at all that I might…have a chance? Anything I could do?"
"It's not that easy, Allen. You don't understand."
"Then make me understand!"
She closed her eyes beseechingly. "Please don't make this any harder for me than it already is."
"I think that's where you're mistaken, Hitomi," the knight said dully. "It could never be harder for you than it is for me."
Hitomi watched him walk away from her with brisk strides that discouraged any hope of catching up to him. What could she do? What could she say? She'd wanted to avoid this very thing, but instead, had instigated it. I'm such a fool, she thought wearily. All he's ever done is be kind, and I led him on to believe that he had a chance, when I was only being friendly. I thought, like Gaddes, he would see what I really meant by it…
She held her head in her hands. How was it she managed to destroy everything in her life?
* * *
"You failed."
"It's not my fault." The silver-haired man hissed angrily. "She had a protector. The dragon."
His master raised an eyebrow. "You still harbor resentment?"
"Of course I do!" he burst out. "Don't you?"
His face hardened. "That's not your concern," he said in a low, commanding voice. He turned to the viewscreen, his cloak billowing magnificently. "We need her. You must find a way to apprehend her, Dilandau. I'm relying on you to do this." He turned his reddish eyes on the underling coldly. "Don't fail me."
Amazingly, Dilandau shrunk back slightly. "Yes, Folken-sama."
* * *
Hitomi couldn't eat again. She sat alone, resting her cheek against her fist, and absently played with the food, trying to see how many arrangements she could make on her plate.
"What are you doing, trying to lose weight?"
Her eyes looked up into Merle's bright blue ones. She chewed on a piece of bread without inhibition. "It's not like you're fat," she said frankly.
Hitomi sighed. "I'm not trying to lose weight or anything," she said softly. "I just don't feel like eating."
"You'll get sick, you know. You should eat. I'm sure Allen wouldn't like it to see you like this," she hinted with a wink.
Hitomi shrugged listlessly. "I'm sure he doesn't care."
Merle frowned. "What's wrong with you?" she demanded.
"You better not get too close to me, Merle," she said with a lackluster tone. "I'll probably just end up hurting you, too."
"No you wouldn't," the cat-girl scoffed. "I'd hurt you before you could ever hurt me!"
"Well, that's comforting," she muttered sarcastically.
Merle picked a piece of meat off of Hitomi's plate and ate it. "So what's wrong?" she asked, her mouth full.
The brown-haired girl grimaced a little at her lack of manners, but just said, "I screw everything up, that's all. I don't know why I do. But everything's my fault."
"Geez, you're so boring!" she exclaimed. "You don't do much of anything, so how can you screw everything up?"
The other's eyes flashed. "You have no idea what I've been through," she said calmly. "You don't know anything about me."
"Not like you'd tell me," Merle poked at her with her claw. "Why won't you tell me what's wrong with you?"
"Nothing's wrong with me!" she replied indignantly.
"But you
just said something was."
"No, I said…" She turned away
from her blue eyes. "It's different."
"How is it different?" Merle demanded.
"Shut up!" Hitomi exploded. "I'm not going to tell anyone, and certainly not a nosy little pink-haired cat."
Merle growled like a wounded kitten and wrinkled her nose. "Fine." She bounded off like lightening away from the table, causing Hitomi to groan in dismay. She'd done it again. Something must be wrong with her. She couldn't do much of anything right. Leaving the plate where it was, she got up and exited the mess tent, looking for solitude where she couldn't hurt anyone else.
* * *
Hugging herself against the pain, she found herself looking up at the glistening stars once more. The pain in her belly was almost unbearable. Millerna said that the wound had healed completely, so why did the pain keep coming back? Now, not even salve could help her. She just had to wait it out, enduring the discomfort until it faded.
Hitomi pulled the baggy shirt tighter around her over her nightdress. Why was the wind still cold at night? She was having such a horrible time as of late, and couldn't fathom why.
It had started when Van had come.
It must be his fault. She closed her eyes as she remembered her earlier accusation with shame. It wasn't his entire fault, of course, she amended, but it was definitely curious that all of her turmoil really began in earnest when he showed up.
"So, you're back out here again?"
She flinched as the voice echoed in her head. "Van, you don't listen well at all."
"What do you mean?"
Opening her eyes, she looked at him wearily. "I told you to leave me alone. Several times. On several occasions. For several different reasons."
"I guess I just can't stay away," he said sardonically.
"You'd better," she laughed self-deprecatingly. "If you get too close, I'll probably hurt you, too."
"What do you mean?"
She turned away. "Never mind."
She could almost feel him walk up beside her. "Wearing a shirt over that excuse for a nightdress, I see."
Flushing slightly, she took a few steps away from him.
He let his breath out in a tired sigh. "For God's sake, I'm not going to kill you."
She lifted her nose slightly in the air, trying to disguise her wounded pride. "Well, I'm sorry. I'm just uncomfortable around you people." Please, please go away! She thought desperately. I don't want you around!!
He frowned. "What am I, my own species?"
She almost sneered in a desperate effort to make him go away. "Close to it."
Hitomi could almost see expression in those fathomless eyes. "Well, at least I'm not some scared little girl who can't defend herself without a guy to do it for her, and who uses every guy she comes in contact with-"
She didn't realize she'd punched him until he doubled backwards, yelping, "Good Lord, woman!" He felt at his eye tenderly, wincing as he prodded the injured part. "That was pretty good," he admitted to himself grudgingly. "I didn't even see it coming." Hissing in pain, he looked up at her with an almost feral gleam in his eye. "You're lucky you're a girl," he said darkly.
Tossing her hair back, trying to ignore the burning pain in her knuckles, she sniffed, "You're lucky Allen likes you, or else I'd tell him to make you leave."
"You have that much influence over him?" Van asked snidely.
Feeling her face redden again, she looked away. "Yeah…" she said faintly, embarrassed that at some point it had probably been true, though it wasn't anymore. She felt disinclined to explain this to him, already feeling foolish enough. She hadn't meant to punch him…necessarily…
Van took a step forward, straightening back up to his full height. His eyes now held a vicious taunt in them. "So…you going to his tent later tonight?"
"Wha-NO!" she burst out, shocked that he would even suggest that. "Why would you think that?"
"I saw you guys getting pretty close," he explained matter-of-factly. "It was obvious what was going on."
"What was going on was I was breaking his heart!" She grimaced. "I didn't mean to…but he pushed too hard."
Van raised an eyebrow in interest. "Oh, I see," he said contemplatively. "So if you're not going to Allen's tent, then whose tent would you go to? Perhaps that Gaddes fellow."
"N-no, he's like my big brother! I couldn't-"
"Then whose tent are you going to?"
"My own!" she yelled at him, frustrated at his insistence of her easy virtue. "Like I told you before, even if I may have…screwed up…and seemed like I was a… 'you know' …I'm not! And I absolutely despise you for insinuating that-" Her speech cut off as she realized he had taken several measured steps while she had been too flustered to notice. He stood only a few inches away from her now. Stubbornly, she refused to back away from him this time, but couldn't stop the trembling in her tone. "W-w-what are you doing?"
With a positively wicked smile, Van fingered his tender eye and murmured in a low voice, "I figure I ought to repay you for that punch you gave me."
Before she could stop him, he seized her arms roughly and crushed his mouth down on hers.
Her mind went blank, as her belly tightened with…something…something akin to pain, but yet…not. She should shove him away, kick him, hit him, even as futile as it would be. But her body refused to respond. Sparks filled her vision, and she tried to breathe without success. Maybe that's why she was blacking out. That had to be it. The outrageous villain was cutting off her air supply and violating her to boot! She should…she should…
Blank.
All she felt was the sparks within her as he pulled her even closer.
He let go abruptly, and she almost fell to the ground in a limp puddle of nothingness. He gave her his infamous condescending smirk. "G'night, Princess."
Without any other remark, he turned and left her trembling with…outrage. Clearly, that's what it was. She stood still, mouth agape, senses humming with enraged fury. I can't believe he just…she hissed within her mind. How boorish! How…how…
On vicious impulse, she grabbed a crabapple from the ground and flung it with amazing accuracy at the back of his black head before she raced to her tent like the demons of hell were pursuing her.
* *big smile* hehe…the plot thickens *wink* *