Did You Kiss Me?

Awareness returns through pain.

All around her, the pain. Without gradients or changes, without source or direction.

Then she senses the smells. Antiseptic and chlorine. And… a familiar whiff of something else. It recalls warmth, and safety, and…

Soft electronic beeping, reassuringly rhythmical.

Gravity pressing her into the bed, the linen crisp and clean beneath her.

It buoys up the concept of having a body. Now finding a host, the pain gathers and resolves and defines itself, nuancing into aching and hurting and agony. The idea of Time crystallizes and has meaning again.

Lying on her… back. She has… legs. Arms.

Fingers? They twitch a little as her brain reestablishes control. Good. Toes? They wiggle, too.

Eyes. Open them. Lids heavy… She tries with all her might, but someone has tied huge weights on them and she can't make them move.

Focus, Raven.

Raven?

Oh, yes. Now she remembers.

Awareness of herself gives her strength and her lids flutter open. She whimpers and squeezes them shut; the light's just too bright.

"Rae?" the voice is soft and hesitant and hearing it makes her want to purr, if only there wasn't so much pain. She squints at its source. A green blur…

The light doesn't seem so bright now. She ventures to open her eyes wider. An emerald gaze welcomes her, affectionate and joyful, brimming with concern. A toothy grin with a fang poking through. The sight fills her with sweet confusion and the unceasing pounding of pain-filled waves slackens. She wants to see more, hear more.

Is it not forbidden? a part of her mind suggests. She brushes it away. It is inconsequential. She is drugged on anesthetics, lethargic and dizzy, and the face and the voice and the scent are comforting and calming and they soothe the hurt away.

The face turns from her. The eyes are gone. She would whine her disappointment, but she doesn't have the strength.

"Hey, Bolt Bucket! She's coming around!"

Her brow creases; the sound's too loud.

She opens her mouth. She needs to say something, but she has no idea of what or why. A breathed whisper comes out.

"Aarff…"

She knows he can hear her. Her mind is confused and numb and clouded, but she knows.

He turns. Concern glows in his soul, its light woven around strands of love.

"Did you say something?" His voice is distressed and guilty. "Don't speak, you've been hurt bad. Cy's coming, don't worry."

There's frustration at his failure to understand, and the feeling is sweetly, comfortingly familiar. Her mind gropes for a memory, any memory, to put context on it, but it can't.

"Arrf."

He frowns. "I told ya, don't try to speak. Your ribs are broken and your lungs punctured. You mustn't exert them."

She blinks her reluctant understanding. Heavy footsteps approach. A half-human, half-metallic monster looms over her, but she does not feel threatened. She tries to smile.

"Glad to see y'all's back with us, little sis!" His voice is deep but cheery. It calms her. She makes a huge effort to arch an eyebrow.

White teeth flash at her as the half-metal man grins. The expression moves her memory and his name floats up. Cyborg.

"It was Cinderblock," he explains. "Hit you on the side. You brought up one of those black shields of yours, but he smashed right through it."

Her eyes close and memories flood in.

She rips a streetlamp from the ground and strikes the creature with it. It staggers, then turns to her. Its fist is a blur. Her power solidifies blackly in front of her. There's the pain of her soul-self shattering, a strangely muted thud, a sensation of flying, the feeling of her breath knocked out of her and her head banging on something hard, and stars in her eyes.

A blank.

Dazed awareness. Inhuman roars. Crashing, banging. A familiar voice shouting "Beast Boy, stop!"

Again blackness.

Strong arms carrying her. Her head nestled on a warm chest. No pain, just his scent and his heartbeat, quick like a hummingbird's.

Nothing more.

She opens her eyes again and looks at her big brother. She smiles again, then her eyes start seeking.

"Arrf?"

"Shhh. Don't speak."

"Mmm. Ust."

The eyes roll in the large head. "No, ya don't. Now sleep, and heal. Can you go into that trance of yours?"

"Y… es."

"Then do it." He pats her hand and rises. "Let's go, Greenbean!" he commands. "Leave Rae to her healing."

"Yeah, give me a couple of minutes, Chrome Dome, willya?"

"Whatever. If you don't hurry up, I'll eat your pizza too, tofu cheese or not." He strides away. The infirmary is silent but for the placid rhythm of beeping instruments.

"I… just wanted to apologize," the voice startles her a bit.

"For…what?" she whispers. Her strength is returning together with her memories.

"It was my fault. I overextended and you tried to cover me."

"Tri… cera… tops." It was all coming back

"Yeah. Concrete-brain hit me, too, but there's a difference in the amount of punishment a human and a ten-ton dinosaur can absorb. I only got bruised."

She smiles and closes her eyes. Her mind is almost completely clear now. Only…

"So then you hit him with the street lamp, and he went for you, and then…"

For a moment rage, guilt and anguish pour out of him but they're immediately choked and buried. She frowns. It reminds her that something's missing. A part of her memories is still incomplete, and she doesn't even remember which one. She only knows it's important.

"Then… what?"

He fidgets. "Then? I… I mean, then we took Cinderblock down. And we brought you back. Nothin' more."

Her frown deepens. He's not lying but he's not telling her the full truth, either. Her eyes study his face. His eyes. His lips.

She finally remembers. The stimulus that brought her back from unconsciousness is now clear. Her eyes widen at the realization.

She licks her lips. Yes, the taste is still there.

He sees her, understands and starts retreating.

"Beast… Boy," she stops him.

"I gotta go, Cy's gonna eat my pizza…"

"Gar… field. Wait."

He stands mute while a flush slowly creeps up his face.

She realizes she's still frowning and for some reason decides to remain that way.

"Did… you… kiss me?"

He looks down, his blush glowing.

Her voice rises into a croak. "Gar… field?"

"I'm sorry…" he whispers almost soundlessly. "I was so worried for you…"

Her frown clears and a small smile lights her face.

"Do it… again."