Sorry guys, it was my friend's birthday last Saturday and I HAD to write something for her because she luffs Medikku-chan hr fvrite Disney Princess. Be forewarned that I DON'T usually write like this, it was just a joke not only for her, but for everyone who seems to think the evil as hell monster Medic is mysteriously pretty princess dress me up girly girl.

So anyway:

READ ON!

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RED's Scout could tell it was going to be a bad day. Why? He was being visited by a fairy. Seeing as how fairies didn't exist, that was proof enough that no good was going to come from its visit. Scout was running through the base and shouting in horror, and when he finally found someone else, RED's Demoman, in this case, he flailed in horror, "Hey man! Hey hey hey!" The Scotsman glared at Scout for interrupting his drinking, and Scout pointed repeatedly at the thing following him. "Get this thing away from me! It won't stop following me!"

Demoman stared at the tiny woman who was dressed in a bright pink dress and had wings that fluttered and sent sparkling dust about with every flap. Demoman squinted at the woman, peered into his whiskey, laughed aloud, and passed out on the table. Scout sighed lightly and turned to the woman, "Look, stop following me, okay? This is creeping me out!"

"But I can't!" the mysteriously adorable fairy replied, "I must find the person I'm looking for!"

Scout glared at his readers, as if it was THEIR fault the fairy was following him around. Probably was, too; Scout didn't doubt that his readers had been begging the authoress to write about fairies in the RED compound because that was WACKY, and wacky things were FUNNY, right? "No, no they aren't!" Scout shouted at the readers, shaking his fist at them, "It makes stupid stuff like this happen, you see? Not. Funny."

Scout continued to glare at the readers just as all of the other REDs conveniently filed into the room where he was. They all stared at the fairy, and Scout attempted to hide behind them to avoid the little creature.

The fairy seemed content with ignoring Scout for the rest of the story, as she soon found who she was looking for, "It's you! I've finally found you!" she cried, flying towards the person.

"But of course, the narrator said that just a sentence before you did," RED's Spy said nonchalantly, staring at both RED's Medic and the fairy, "But what connection do you have with the doctor, anyway?"

"Don't you see?" the fairy asked.

Medic adjusted his glasses, "Nein, vee do not 'zee'."

"But I've been searching for you for so long, Princess Medic!"

There was silence. RED'S Soldier wondered what the hell was going on. "What the hell is going on?"

"A princess?" RED's Sniper asked.

"Aren't princesses usually lil' women?" RED's Engineer said, perplexed.

"Who are you princess of, Medic?" RED's Heavy asked, poking the German.

"Ach!" Medic shouted, twisting his arm so he could avoid the pokes, "Schweinhund, I am no princess. Zee fairy iz a dummkopf."

"But you must remember your destiny, Princess Medic!" the fairy proclaimed, "you are Princess Medic of the magical forests of Mokoja! Don't you remember when…"

Seven hours of boring exposition that could probably fill a five hundred page novel (or perhaps 10 seasons of anime cartoons) then proceeded. "…And so to hide your identity from the evil Gorgon Hatressia, you used your magic to assume the form of a male so you could hide in another world and await the moment when I could return you to your original form and we could defend the Womplepuffs again."

The fairy then realized that everyone had fallen asleep by this point, and had to set about the arduous task of waking them all back up.

"So why is she looking like a guy?"

"Why is she hiding on a completely different planet?"

"Why did you change her back to a female without the narrator telling us that you did?"

"Why is her name 'Medic'? I mean, Princess Opal I can get maybe, but Medic?"

"Why doesn't she always look this hot?"

"I am not a princess! Vhy doez no vahn ztop zis inzanity!?"

"No more questions!" the fairy shouted, grabbing Princess Medic's arms and dragging the protesting (female) German from the room, "I need to bring Princess Medic back home to Mokoja!"

Just then the ceiling collapsed and rocks fell on them. Everyone died.

Later, when questioned, the authoress explained that that's the way the readers would have wanted it to end.

OR WOULD THEY?

The End!

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ALTERNATE ENDING LOLZ!?

"But you must remember your destiny, Princess Medic!" the fairy proclaimed, "you are Princess Medic of the magical forests of Mokoja! Don't you remember when…"

Seven hours of boring exposition that could probably fill a five hundred page novel (or perhaps 10 seasons of anime cartoons) then proceeded. Everyone fell asleep.

The next morning, everyone awoke and wandered the base, which was strangely quiet. Also, Medic was missing. They searched through the base (sans one Demoman, who was sleeping in because he was sleeping off his hangover), and soon found Medic in his ward, where he was mixing medicines.

"Yo, Medic!" Scout said.

"…P…Princess Medic?" Heavy asked, poking his head into the room.

Medic glared at them and returned to his medicines, "Ov course not, I am no princess. Zee fairy vas a dummkopf. Should I zay it again?"

"Wait…" Sniper said, increasingly suspicious of Medic's choice of words, "The fairy was…?"

Medic smiled in the Australian's direction, and pointed to a small jar on the counter. Heavy cried out in horror at the tiny fairy, preserved perfectly in a jar of formaldehyde, "Doktor, you killed it!"

"Ov course I killed it. It vas annoyink me. But you zee, I kept it nice and save in itz little jar," Medic said, a sadistic smile on his face, "I vonder how itz little organz can zuztain zuch a creature. It vould be a perfekt chance to dizzekt it."

"Medic, you are a truly evil monster…" Engineer muttered.

"Vhy zank you, Herr Hard Hat." And with that, the "good" doctor went straight back to his medicines as the rest of the group left him to his own devices.

THE END! …OF ALTERNATE ENDING!

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Hope you guys enjoyed a bit of parody. I'm sorry if you guys are only reading this because I actually TRY on it, but yeah, maybe next week. Hohoho!