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Basics: Buffy died and came back. Basically season 6 plot, but ya know…not. Spike's fucking Buffy, but he's not in it for the love. Dawn knows about the sex. She's also been messing around with drugs, cutting, and sex.

This chapter deals with some lesbian tendencies. It's small and if you don't like it, pretend the name Amanda is Bob or something.

Chapter 6

"Wake up Dawn" said a muffled voice. She barely hears it. Barely recognizes it. "Wake up." And she realizes the voice is coming from behind her locked door. And there's knocking that's coming with it.
"Come on Dawn, get your ass up"

And she knows that voice. It's somewhere in her head, floating around with her dead brain cells. She knows it. She swears. But it can't come to her. She can't think of it. And she can't even describe how rock-bottom it makes her feel.

"I'm up" she says, her voice too raspy for it's own good. It sounded dry and like acid. She noticed how the banging stopped when she answered. Good, she thought. Good.

She's still on the floor and she can't remember what got her here. She tries to remember, but it only results in a massive headache. She looks around and sees the hairspray can and ziplock bag beside her hand. That's the culprit. She knows that has something to do with it. If she could only know why.

Deciding that she needed to get dressed, she stood up, ignoring the dizziness that inhibited her body, and went over to her dresser. She looked into the mirror and blanched. The brunette looked horrible. Her eyes were sunken, her skin looked terribly translucent, her hair was dull and stuck to her head, and her lips were ashy and dry. Cuts and yellow tinted bruises scattered around her face and neck. When did she begin to look like death? She idly thought that it started when she started messing with her lifeline. Bringing her fingers to her lips, she felt a deep crack. Her eyes slowly feel to her arms, which in fact, were covered in horrible scratches and bruises. And she certainly didn't miss the two giant gashes on her left arm and the lonely one on her right. True, one cut on her left arm was already healed, or close to. But the newer ones were deep and looked angry. They weren't even close to being healed. Dawn even thought they could be infected. She sighed and wondered how it happened. She had too many wounds for something not to have happened.

She took off her clothes, them being trashed now anyway, and placed a long-sleeve, black shirt on, that was big enough not to disturb her cuts, and a pair of blue jeans. Dawn, weak, hurting, and quite dizzy, traveled to her bathroom to take care of her self-inflicted wounds. She wrapped the five-inch-long cuts in gauze after slathering Neosporin on them liberally.

Dawn walks downstairs and was greeted by a blonde woman. She knew who that woman was, but couldn't place the name. It was her sister, but not her real sister. She didn't have anyone, really. She remembered this girl died, but came back. Died for her. A death that wasn't spent right. She smirked as she thought how she would spend death.

"Finally you got up. I guess you went to bed late" the mystery-woman said behind the kitchen counter. It looked like she was making eggs. The smell nauseated Dawn.
"Yeah, couldn't sleep" she answered, her voice still sounded like acid. It was probably the acid that rotted her brain and made her forget everything. Why couldn't she remember anything damnit! She was just so frustrated.
"Well, I'm making dinner. A breakfast-dinner, really. If you take out the plates" the girl started, but Dawn interrupted.
"I'm not very hungry. I'm going to the Bronze to hang with some friends. I'll be back later." She didn't leave any room for argument. She needed to get out of the house. She needed to hurt something. Grabbing her black hoodie, she headed out on the street.

Walking towards the Bronze, Dawn realized that she had no weapons with her at all. She began to scold herself, realizing how stupid she was. She couldn't remember her own fucking sister's name. She couldn't remember how she got large gashes on her arms or why she walked with a little limp. She felt like a junkie. She was already burnt out and she wasn't even the legal drinking age. Continuing to walk slowly, for she was starting to get dizzy, she took in the direction of The Bronze

The Bronze was rather busy, but of course, it was a Saturday night. Everyone looked so beautiful dressed in pounds of makeup and sexy outfits that looked perfect on every body in the room. She seemed out of place with her fucked-up self. Dawn almost walked out, deciding that making a fool of herself wasn't worth it. But she didn't when she saw Matt and a couple of her other friends walk in the club.

They were making a ruckus-shouting, yelling. They were probably high; actually, she knew they were. Matt spotted her and gave her a glassy-eyed smile. He sauntered over to her with a gorgeous girl on his arm. Dawn saw her around, but never with Matt. Her face was downcast, as if she was nervous or embarrassed. Dawn returned a smile to Matt and the girl, though she didn't really see.

"Wonder meeting you here" Matt said, pushing his brown hair out of his eyes. He was so beautiful when he was high, Dawn mused. He walked up to her and kissed her, his normal greeting. She returned the short peck and smiled.
"Dawn, this is Amanda." The girl looked up and blushed. She reminded Dawn of Drusilla: long, black hair, soft gray eyes, and a beautiful, cream colored dress that almost matched her pale skin.
"Hi. So Matt, this beautiful girl your date" Dawn asked, slowly checking out the girl.
"No, silly, it's your date." He handed the girl off to Dawn. "Now go have fun. I'll be watching."

Dawn rolled her eyes at Matt's feeble attempts to get her to hook up with a girl. He always was trying to get in on some lesbian action. Normally she would just tell him off, but tonight she wanted to have fun.

She took Amanda by the hand and led her to the dance floor. Dragula by Rob Zombie was playing. Dawn pressed her body against the other girl's and slowly sang with the song. Amanda thrusted her body towards the animalistic beat. It looked like she was in the throes of love making. Dawn idly wondered if that's what she would look like after a couple good thrusts. She shook her head, trying to get the thoughts out of her head.

"Dig through the ditches, burn through the witches. I slam in the back of my dragula" she whispered in the Amanda's ear. The girl moaned and bit her lip.
"Matt wants us" Amanda commented as she stopped dancing. Dawn wondered what this was about, but followed her as she walked over to Matt.

He tossed her a bottle of water. Dawn thanked him and unscrewed the cap. She was about to drink it before he stopped her.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you" he said, smirking. He pulled Amanda towards him and started to nibble on her neck that she exposed to him. Dawn raised her eyebrow at his words.
"Take a sniff at it. You might find it...brain numbing." She did as he said. After, she looked at with him her eyes a little more glassy and dilated then before.
"Diluted reefer" she asked and he shook his head. She gave him a big smile and walked toward him. She placed her hands around his jaw and kissed him gently.
"Later" she whispered into his ear as she bit it softly. She gave him a knowing look and he shook his head.

Taking Amanda back onto the dance floor, she kept the open bottle near her nose and Amanda's. Dawn started to get giggly and everything felt calm. Everything was good. She felt warm and loved. Thank God for Matt.

"I love this song" Amanda says, pulling Dawn into a slow song. Dawn put her hands around Amanda's neck and Amanda connected her hands around Dawn's thin waist.

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

Amanda put her head on Dawn's shoulder because it was too heavy. Dawn nuzzled her own head against Amanda's.

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

Lifting her head, Amanda stared at Dawn. The brunette stared back and suddenly lips were on lips. Dawn put her hands through Amanda's hair, bringing her face closer. Gasping for air, Amanda started to place kisses on Dawns collar bone. Dawn moaned.

"That's enough girls" Matt said as he broke up the couple. His voice was husky and his eyes were dark. He pushed Amanda away almost making her fall, but she fell into a tall man. Matt took Dawn by the elbow and drugged her out on the alleyway

As soon as he closed the door he pushed her onto the brick wall. He attacked her mouth with his and she was stunned by the force. He roamed his hands around her body and he was about to take her shirt off, but was stopped by her protesting.

"No. Just want you in me" she moaned, not wanting Matt to see the scars. He nodded as he bites her neck-he knows it turns her on. It wasn't hard enough to break the skin, but she started to tremble underneath him.

"You taste good." He groaned, his voice so thick with need. He began lightly kissing down her neck and towards her collar bone as he fumbled around with the button on her pants. Her hands roaming his tight body, she found her hands at the top of his pants. She ran her hands underneath his shirt, slowly feeling his smooth flesh. She broke away from his mouth and dipped into a crouch. She pulled his body close to her. Unbuckling his belt, she also unbuttoned his pants. Dawn shimmied down his boxers, so they were just off his hips, but Matt grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards him.

She pulled his shirt off and threw it on the ground. While she was placing hot, open mouth kisses on his chest, he shimmied down her pants, leaving her just in her underwear. He hooked his fingers in them and slowly...

"What the fucking hell?"

Okay, so if you don't understand that ending. Dawn and Matt are about to fuck and then another voice chimes in. So, it's notMatt's voice.

Anyway, this chapter is in response to all the short chapters I've been writing lately. True, I don't like it, but I had no other way. Sorry for another songfic like thing. I don't like the way I have been writing lately. Oh well.

Thanks for all the awesome reviews. They make me smile.