A.N. I just realized how long its been since I've updated! To keep this short, I'd really quickly like to give a general thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing. Now onto chapter six!

Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape, or form own Naruto. Nor do I take credit for the play "Taming the Shrew" or the movie "Ten Things I Hate about You".

Chapter 6

Shikamaru's offer gnawed loudly at Neji's thoughts, despite his furious attempts to bury it. Lying and sneaking were not activities he partook in. Ever. His uncle had done a lot for him, and repaying him with disloyalty would be detestable; not to mention Hiashi had an uncanny ability to read people.

I shouldn't have agreed to hear him out. Too late now. It's rude to go back on fixed arrangements. Perhaps he won't show. Neji, in a moment of foresight, had purposefully avoided setting a specific meeting place, expecting the Nara to find him if he wanted to talk badly enough. He wouldn't wait around after hours too long though, so Shikamaru had better find him quickly after last period ended. If he didn't, then the Hyuga's afternoon was free.

Luckily, the lazy junior was nowhere in sight of Neji's final classroom when the mass of students converged into the hall. Hope blossomed inside him, and as minutes passed, he became more and more self-assured. He probably fell asleep somewhere, and forgot all about me. His internal smile was demolished seconds later, however, when he spotted an unmistakable, slouched figure by his locker. Approaching cautiously to avoid drawing his strange guest's attention, Neji looked over the taller youth. Shikamaru was indeed asleep, just not where he had anticipated. He sleeps standing up!

Students walked by, looking at Neji, but ignoring the awkwardly hunched boy. Apparently they're use to seeing him nap in any available space. The white-eyed teen decided to leave; the boy obviously wasn't desperate for a discussion. Better to act like he's not here, and that our conversation never happened. But for a second time, Shikamaru's hand grabbed him as he made to escape.

"I didn't take the time to find you just for you to slip away."

"Pardon me. I wasn't sure you were waiting for me. I thought you were lost and needed a break from walking before you moved again." Neji was embarrassed to be caught ditching someone. How does such a lazy person move so fast anyway?

"Che. Too much attitude. Let's go." Shikamaru pulled a vigorously resistant Hyuga after him, not seeming to care about Neji's indiscretion.

"I'm perfectly capable of following without you tugging on me like a child. In fact, I suggest you keep your hands to yourself from now on," snapped the Hyuga, effectively breaking Shikamaru's hold. Thankfully no one was around to see that spectacle. I would never hear the end of it otherwise. "Where exactly are we going?"

"To your favorite place."

"And you know where that is how?"

"I'm taking a guess." The two continued further- silently- until Shikamaru stopped in front of the library.

"Aren't you hilarious. I'm impressed you know where this is," said Neji in a voice oozing disdain.

"Shh. This is a library," whispered Shikamaru mockingly, while signaling the other to stay quiet. "You can yap at me when we get somewhere more private." The older crossed his arms defiantly. Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Everything's going to be a fight with him. Damn Hyuga.

Finally the two reached the back corner of the large room. Several tables were scattered around for studying; fortunately they were all empty. Shikamaru resisted a tempting outside view in favor of a more secluded seat, in case more people showed up. I'm not going to be able to cloud watch. Man what a drag.

"Are you satisfied?" Neji was at wits ends already, and he'd only been in the brown-eyed teen's company a few minutes. "Now, explain what we're doing."

"Relax your Lordliness," drawled the lazy teen, "I thought this would be a good place, because we won't draw any unwelcome attention. People are used to seeing you here."

"Somehow I doubt you're here often."

"I'm not the one being watched right now, plus I don't have a commanding presence. Either way, we should be fine."

"Don't be so smug," Neji scowled. The younger teen's bored assurance really, really annoyed him. He doesn't even muster energy to show proper personality. All he does is sit there like some dull blob. Blob? Great now I sound like a five year old!

As if he could read his mind, Shikamaru sat up straight, adopting an aggravated posture. "I'm not any happier about this than you. Like I told Naruto earlier, take your anger out on the responsible parties."

Neji rocked back on his heels. Naruto! He promised he would stay quiet.

Again, Shikamaru read his thoughts. "The knuckle head didn't rat you out. He's just easy to read if people pay attention, which most don't. Actually, you should thank him. He was the only one on our side."

"I want to know everyone who's involved. And most importantly, I want to know what you're proposing in detail."

Shikamaru's sharp eyes analyzed Neji's opaque orbs; he needed to re-evaluate the older Hyuga. When scheming, he had used Hinata's behavior- on a tougher scale of course- as a general outline, but Neji was in a whole other league. The best reference point would have been Sasuke. No, not even Sasuke is this challenging. At last, he gave a wicked grin. "I'd be delighted." Hope he gives those bitches hell! "Temari and Ino are the primary masterminds."

"I suppose Sakura isn't far behind. She usually works with Yamanaka." Neji was surprised he knew the people mixed up in this problem. He knew he could deal with Ino, but he didn't know Temari well. If she's even a speck as nerve-wracking as Gaara, then he has a very good reason to listen to her.

"She at least was concerned about you. Ino's being spiteful, and paying me back, because I rejected her lovely-dovey opinions."

"Women never like to be told off by men when it comes to romance, but tattling on them as a form of revenge is rather cowardly." Sadly I understand his way of thinking, not that I'd tell him. There's more than one reason I don't date women. They're terrifyingly irrational when they're angry. "Which one is interested in my cousin?"

"Kiba."

Neji's brows furrowed. He's never expected Naruto's friend to make a move. "Naruto speaks well of him, but I haven't seen anything to inspire confidence. I'm not sure I want Inuzuka pursuing Hinata."

Shikamaru sighed. "Do you have to be a pain about everything?" Get off your high horse, and this will be a thousand times easier.

"Excuse me? I have a right to be concerned about my cousin's well being!"

"Kiba might not live up to your Hyuga standards, but he is a hell of a lot better than the other assholes trying to mount her on a daily basis." Not only am I forced into helping Kiba, but now I'm defending him. Damn pain in the ass Hyuga making me act moronic. Have to be difficult, don't you?

"How crude."

"Look all I'm saying is that dog-breath likes Hinata for more than her looks. He wouldn't have started this crap if he just wanted a lay." A moment of tension passed.

"Why'd they choose you?" Neji smirked at Shikamaru's grimace. Oo a sore subject.

"I'm the only one smart enough for you to tolerate. I also might be gay. Their logic, not mine."

"Might be gay? You're joking?"

"Unless you plan on seducing me, can we focus on the overall picture?" Shikamaru was really sick of talking about his sexuality. Everyone but me is worried about who I want to sleep with.

Neji growled, and nodded. He was more than happy to move on. Sex was not a subject he felt comfortable talking to close friends about, let alone a person he just met; however, he couldn't stop his subconscious from performing a discrete once over of Shikamaru. He is actually pretty handsome, even with an indifferent expression. Not as tall as Naruto described. He's only about two inches taller.

"So the general idea is I have to date you in order to give Kiba a fighting chance at Hinata. Oh, and your evil glares won't get you anywhere anymore, so spare me. Every student in this school is going to swarm you tomorrow."

"And for some reason you think I'm incapable of taking care of myself."

"Exactly the opposite. I know you can take care of yourself, but you need help this time. Same as me. You'll be pestered until both you and Hinata are taken, and there is no way I can hold out against those mad women."

"Pathetic."

"Yeah, yeah. You try fighting them and let me know what happens. Anyway, I know Hinata likes someone, but I can't determine who. She blushes and stammers with everyone."

"She won't tell me."

"Probably scared you're going to murder the guy in his sleep," Shikamaru smirked. I'm worried about castration just speaking to you. "Our first move then would be to find the guy. We can't make any real progress until we know all the players."

"Don't play me for a fool. You want to use me for information gathering, and once you eliminate Inuzuka, you report to your friends and are off the hook. How does that help me," questioned Neji, ignoring the jibe.

"If only. It's not that simple. Kiba got time to 'woo his love', so according to my orders, I have to occupy you for four months. Your benefit, if you agree, is me permanently keeping people away from you, regardless of Hinata's status at the end of our partnership."

"Bold statement. I don't suppose you'd tell me how you're going to carry out that feat."

"Call it insurance. Can't hand you my queen and leaving myself high and dry. A hint though: the student body's attention is easily diverted."

"Could you be a little vaguer next time? Here's a hint in return: My uncle's isn't a high school student. He'll demand proof. I can't exactly bring you home to introduce you, and I prefer not to lie."

Shikamaru took a moment to mull this all over before responding. "As long as Hinata never finds out about you dating while we find her crush, everything should be fine. If the guy isn't Kiba, and I highly doubt he is, then she never dates, and your uncle is none the wiser."

"We would still have to tell your friends for you to benefit. I don't particularly want anyone thinking I can be bought off."

"Yeah I know. Since you don't want any suspicions raised, we would make sure they saw us together a few times over a couple of weeks before breaking the big news. The girls will think its soooo adorable that I won you over. The challenge will be keeping Ino's mouth shut. It's over once she blabs. Hinata will be open game. On the upside, if she stays quiet, everyone in participating will be on the lookout for anyone bothering Hinata, unless it's Kiba, and chase them off. He has a clear shot, and no one but dog breath has a prayer, including her crush. In the end, Hinata remains single, and you and I regain our peace."

"You certainly think things through, but what if Hinata wants Kiba? I don't want her hopes up when I tell her he returns her feelings, and then have to tear them down because I can't bring a date home."

"In the off chance Kiba's the one, Temari or Ino will have to fill in for me when meet the parent day comes. I'm positive we can get your uncle to change his rule. In the meantime, you will technically be in a relationship. Maybe not the type he thinks, but still a relationship."

"Except for Hinata, Naruto, and you, I'm not out if the closet. I want to keep it that way."

"Why do you people have to come back to the sexuality all the time? I already told you I have no intention of actually becoming involved with you. There will be no PDA, so, if it comes down to Hinata actually dating Kiba, nobody needs to know who you're with. She'll already be taken."

"People seem to think you're gay. It doesn't take that much to put two and two together."

"No, Temari thinks I'm gay because I don't follow obnoxiously loud girls around. To anyone else, I'm just too lazy to start things."

Neji weighed his options. It was a good plan, but not great. Too much was left open for chance; many of the main points depended on other people. When emotions are involved, it is impossible to lead a person in anyone direction. I don't want to fool anyone, especially Hinata, even though she brought this on. On the other hand, for him to come up with a plan anywhere near this good in a day is very persuasive. With more time he could solidify things. Damn it!

Shikamaru sensed the other's hesitancy. He definitely knew the whole thing was a gamble, but unfortunately, under the circumstances, this was the best he could come up with; nothing would be full proof. It all came down to whether Neji wanted to take the risk, and step outside his comfort zone.

Slowly Neji looked at the Shikamaru.

Their eyes connected

Finally the older spoke. "I appreciate the effort and thought, but I'm afraid I must decline."

Hope no one was disappointed! This was a very, very, very hard chapter to write. I wanted to keep Neji in character by not having him jump at something he is against. Hopefully I managed to give a pretty clear picture of Shikamaru's reasoning too; it was difficult to put everything together and make a plan Neji might be comfortable taking a chance on. Also, from now on I can't give any good time limits for further chapters. School is starting and I have one hell of a schedule! Let me know what you thought.