Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. (I do, however, own Larry Dotter, but he's not as interesting...)

a/n: Thanks for all the reviews so far, they mean a lot to me!!

Lesson Five: If she's mad at you, she's got a reason.

Though you may think otherwise, girls always have one reason or another to be mad at a guy. Never ask her why she's angry, even if you don't know. Trust me: it's always your fault. Just apologize and she'll get over it eventually.

I look around me, my shoulder's hunched over the note so that no prying eyes could see it if they happened to be passing my desk. With a frown, I looked down at the paper again, just to make sure I had read it correctly the first time. Was I absolutely positive it said "will you go to Hogsmeade with me?" or did it say something more along the lines of "I hate you, go die in a corner, you filthy mudblood?" Nope. It said, "will you go to Hogsmeade with me." Damn.

My eyes wandered over to the Slytherin side of the room and fell on my newly discovered secret admirer. He sat with his legs propped up on the table before him, his pale hands folded in his lap. He laughed casually at something said by Blaise Zabini. His gray eyes turned to meet mine and his smile widened ever so slightly. Did he just wink, or was that just my imagination acting up again?

"For homework," Snape began with a cruel grin, "an essay on the uses of Pepperup Potion. Two feet of parchment, due… tomorrow." Harry and Ron groaned silently behind me. I quickly scribbled down the assignment on a scrap piece of parchment and began packing my things away, hoping to escape before anyone noticed me (and by "anyone," I mostly just meant Ron or Malfoy).

I had just made it into the hallway when I felt a hand on my shoulder pulling me into an alcove behind a suit of armor. Naturally, I opened my mouth to protest loudly and obscenely, but another hand (presumably the companion to the first) shot out and covered my face. I tried the age-old trick of licking the hand, but it didn't move, not to mention it tasted like ink. Needless to say, I gave up fairly quickly.

Soon, all the Potions students had passed by my abductor and me without the slightest notice and the halls fell silent. The hands released me, and I whipped around to confront whomever it was that had so unceremoniously kidnapped me. "What do you think you're doing?" I demanded indignantly.

Malfoy ignored my question. "You got my note, right?" His pale face barely visible in a shadow cast by the armor looked bored, at best.

I rolled my eyes and shifted my books in my arms. "Yes," I answered testily. "Is it supposed to be some kind of joke? Because I'm really not in the mood for this sort of… immature behavior right now." I tossed my hair to show him just how serious I was.

"If you don't want to go with me, then just say so!" he spat, his eyes shining in the darkness.

I drew back from him, his sudden outburst surprising me. "That's not…" I began, then stopped, thinking it better if I took the offensive route with this one. My inner bitch reprimanded me, but I calmed her by resolving to kick Ron or no apparent reason the next time I saw him. "Can I have some time to think?" I asked instead.

Malfoy thought a moment, and then nodded. "I need an answer by Friday afternoon at the latest," he told me. "That still gives me time to find another date if you decline." He smirked and squeezed past me out into the corridor, giving me just enough time to feel his body against mine and make my knees go all wobbly, which was probably his intention.

"Sure," I called after him breathlessly. "Can't leave the great Malfoy without a date."

He chuckled softly to himself. "Of course not," he replied as he walked away, leaving me confused and standing behind a suit of armor like the complete loon that I was.

I arrived late to lunch, and just my luck, the only open seat was next to Ron, so naturally, I squeezed my fat arse in between Harry and Ginny, much to Ginny's dismay. I made a mental note to make it up to her later.

"Why're you late?" Ron demanded, his mouth full of turkey sandwich.

"Why do you care?" I answered, doing my best impression of Ron, which, coincidentally, was also my best impression of a troll. Well, maybe it wasn't much of a coincidence.

Ron sneered and resumed shoving food in his black hole of a mouth without pause. It was amazing he didn't choke or accidentally bite off a finger, really.

Harry leaned over and whispered discreetly in my ear. "Hermione, lighten up on Ron," he begged. "He's been bitching my ear off about it all day. Said you said something weird in the corridor earlier?" I blanched and coughed into my pumpkin juice, some flying out of the cup and splattering my cheeks. "Wouldn't tell me what though…"

"Well, I couldn't guess what he means. I haven't talked to him all day," I lied as I unfolded my napkin and swiped it across my face.

Harry shrugged. "You should still talk to him," he suggested as he reached out for another handful of grapes. "He's starting to get on my nerves."

I shook my hair furiously, apologizing absently when I heard Ginny's shrill complaint that I had hit her in the eye. "I'm not going to talk to him until he apologizes," I said to Harry.

"All right then, I'll tell him to apologize." Harry turned away and began talking with Dean and Seamus about an interesting article about Quidditch he had read in the Prophet over the weekend.

I grabbed Harry by the shoulder and turned him back around to face me. "Wait… You're just going to tell him to apologize?" Harry nodded. "And he'll do it?" He nodded again and gave me a strange look as if what he had just said made complete sense, which it didn't. Even Ron's own mother had to enchant him just to clean his room. The only ones that I had ever seen Ron obey without question were Fred and George, but that was mostly because they threatened him with pain and or embarrassment. "It can't be that easy."

Harry crinkled his nose and shrugged. "He'll do it if I tell him it means a lot to me if the two of you weren't angry with each other."

I frowned and let go of Harry's shoulder. He immediately turned back around and jumped right into his previous conversation with Seamus and Dean.

If only everything were really as simple as Harry thought it was…

"Hermione! Wait up!" I heard Ron call after me as I pushed through a crowd of twittering Hufflepuff first years on my way out of the dining room in an effort to ditch him. He was slowly but surely becoming my worst nightmare of the moment.

Harry must have talked to him. But if he was going to start following me around like a puppy trying to apologize, I would rather him be angry and leave me alone.

I stopped walking reluctantly, but just long enough for him to catch up to me. Once he was beside me, I continued at my original brisk pace. His arm brushed mine and I instinctively hugged my potions book tighter to my chest, willing myself not to look at him.

"What do you want? I'm running late." I began to walk faster, hoping that that would be enough to get him to go away, but no such luck. Ron never gets the hint… What is it with boys and this need to have everything spelled out in front of them before they can comprehend what's happening?

"It's a free period. Are you telling me you have plans?" Ron smiled crookedly and quickened his pace to match mine. He looked to me out of the corner of his eye to see if I was smiling. I wasn't.

He shoved his hands in his pockets nervously. "Well, anyway… I was just wondering if you would like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?" He smiled again. I wish he'd stop. It's making me really hard to hate him when his smile is so adorable… Must. Stay. Strong. I'm fighting for all womankind, here!

I stopped in my tracks so suddenly Ron had accidentally walked past me and had to backtrack. I looked him square in the eye and said, "No."

Ron ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "Why? Is it Harry's turn?" I snorted. Harry's turn, indeed.

I started walking again. "No. It's no one's turn!" I spat. "I'm not you or Harry's personal piece of arm candy that can be displayed at your discretion! Are you just trying to flatter me into accepting your lack of apology?"

" 'Mione, please. Wait!" He grabbed my shoulder. Oh bugger, he looks sad… I can't stand it when he's sad… Not only does he make my life a living hell with his whining and complaining, but for some inexplicable reason… seeing him sad makes me sad too. Well, thus is the curse of being a caring human being, I suppose.

"Well, I'm waiting…" I said softly, and grinding my teeth together, just to show him how much I loathe standing here in the deserted corridor with his hands on my shoulders and his face inches from my own.

"I'm sorry." He exhaled a breath in my face that smelled vaguely reminiscent of cinnamon. He might eat like a heathen, but at least he's got the decency to chew a stick of gum before going around and breathing in random people's faces.

I tapped my foot impatiently. "For…?"

He gave me a puzzled grimace. "Forrrr… Thinking of you as 'arm candy'?"

"No, you twit!" I rolled my eyes in disgust and attempted to stomp angrily away from him, but failed miserably and just ended up tripping and dropping my book. "Brilliant…" I muttered as I bent down to gather the book and the various pages of notes I had tucked in there for safekeeping. Now I'll have to re-organize them, which should take all break… Ron happened to be correct in assuming that I didn't have any fantastic plans, or anything, but still, it's the principle of the whole matter. What if I did have fantastic plans?

Ron rushed to my side, and began picking up the scraps of paper. "So… I'm still sorry…" He looked up from the floor and handed me a stack of my notes.

I snatched the papers from his hands and stuffed them back in my potions book. "Even though you don't remember why?"

Ron sighed and handed me another messy stack of papers. "No. I do remember… It's just that…" He paused and I heard him breathe in sharply. I looked up to see him looking at a piece of paper… A very, shall we say…incriminating piece of paper.

"Ron, look-." I began, all my anger towards him vanishing in an instant.

"Save it," he spat as he stood. The pile of notes he had in his hand slipped through his fingers and hit the floor with a flutter.

"Ron, wait!" Oh hell, now I was begging him to wait. What a grand day this was turning out to be.

He slowed and turned his head slightly, like he wanted to say something, but then changed his mind, giving his red hair a shake instead as he walked down the corridor and out of sight.

A sigh escaped my lips once more as I looked down at Malfoy's note.

"Well… shit."