Medicine
Bella's POV
Sam was true to what he said; he drove me home. It was a silent drive which I was thankful for, it gave me time to think about this Cullen situation. I couldn't avoid them forever, one day they would get too inquisitive and want to meet the superstar that is Izzy. But I didn't want to meet them; again. Well it would nice to see Carlisle and Esme again, they were always good to me. With them I was immediately a member of their family, despite my apparent differences, they always made me feel welcome and at home. And I always missed Alice, her spontaneous shopping sprees, the way she'd blank out when he had a vision, her annoying little pixieness; I missed and loved her so much. And then there was Emmett, my babbling, bouncing, big brother, he was like a giant, cuddly teddy bear protecting me. I missed the way he laughed at my clumsiness and always made silly jokes about me; I missed his carefree laughter and his big bear hugs.
To be quite honest I didn't miss Rosalie, we never really saw eye to eye on most things and she was never really very civil to me even though I was always nice to her. I wondered what she would have said when she found out that I was a vampire. In a way I suppose I missed Jasper, even though we never talked much except in Phoenix other than that he always kept his distance for reasons like my birthday. I sort of hated him for slipping up because he was the reason I lost Edward but then without loosing him I would never have met Sam.
And obviously I didn't miss Edward. He had made my life a train wreck for too many years, I wouldn't be a vampire if he never left and I resented that. Maybe I would be a vampire but I would have been turned by someone who cared and I would have been with loved ones instead of having to go through it all alone. And for that I hated him. Granted, when we were together it was amazing, I was never happier but all good things come to an end, right? But do you know what I hated the most, I hated that fact that despite how much he had broken me, how much he had crushed me, how much he had ruined my life and how much I hated him, underneath it all, I still loved him. And I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help it, it was the way I felt but nothing was going to come of the completely irrational feelings, he left because he didn't want me so I doubt he'd want me now.
And that was when I hit me: he didn't know I was a vampire. He thought that I was dead, that I died so many years ago as a happy, fragile human. Oddly I found this knowledge quite brilliant, he left because he didn't want me but what he would have hated more was for me to be like him; vampire. And the fact that he was in Shreveport I could now be an eternal annoyance and eventually he'd have just wanted to leave. He had hurt me so badly, left me broken and alone now I was going to break him. Hurt him, destroy him and tear apart his world.
I relished this knowledge and brand new, devious plan as a wicked grin spread across my face. What I didn't know was that Sam had been watching the play of emotions across my face and he broke my inspirational silence.
"What you grinning about, you look devilishly happy." he asked suspiciously
So I told him my plan, I told him that I was going to reveal my existence to the Cullens and then I was going to turn Edward's life upside down, taking everything he held most dear and destroying them or turning them against him. I would be giving him a taste of his own medicine, just to see how he liked being broken and alone.
Sam thought my plan would be excellent, not too harsh or bitchy because Sam personally thought he deserved everything that was coming to him. I was just hoping that it was going to work. I told him that I was going to ring Eric when we got home. I asked Sam to meet them with me which he naturally agreed to. I was being to feel quite elated and eager for the following evening to arrive.
As soon as we got in I rang to the phone while Sam hung up his coat. I told him about my plan, how Sam was going to be there and that I wanted him to arrange a meeting, asking them if they would like to meet the star of the show, Eric assured me that they were pretty eager to meet me already so that wouldn't take too much work. I hung up the phone ecstatic.
I turned to Sam who took me in his arms and kissed me before asking, "So, shall we finish the unpacking?"
I smiled up at him, "Of course."
He must have already been home that evening because he already unpacked the boxes that I had left for him, he had already placed some of his sentimental belongings around, like the photo albums from his childhood and the one I had made of me and him for his birthday was next to my photo albums. I saw his mug in the kitchen next to the kettle along with favourite brand of tea. He had even replaced my TV for me, got rid of my old hoover and my coffee table that was so scratched and old. He had left some framed photos of me and him and him and his family, all the art work that we both agreed upon, the rug and the lamp among a few other little bits.
We started on the artwork. Some of the pieces of artwork in the house were it a bit odd or they didn't suit the room or I had a general distaste for them so we took all of those down, luckily, the number we took down was the same number of pieces we took from Sam's house so we didn't have to take a trip back. We sat and discussed which pieces we thought should go where which at times was quite amusing but we disagreed and always end up play fighting which was always fun. We eventually settled on where each piece such go and began hanging them up, Sam sat me on his shoulders so that I could reach better, not that I couldn't reach perfectly well without help. I had been practising with my shield in the shop when I had no customers, I could lift myself up with it now, instead of making it spread wide, I made the shield under my feet dense so I could lift myself up. It was so much better than the ladders I used to have to use. Sam encouraged me to try to do both, spread the shield wide as well as a dense to life people and objects up but I was finding it rather difficult and came to the conclusion it required a lot of focusing to be able to achieve it, but I still practise.
Once we finished with the artwork, we made a start on the framed pictures. I had this favourite picture of me and Sam; it was taken in the park in Monroe one winter, Jake had taken the picture just after I had threw snow all over Sam and I was laughing my head of while he sulked. Whenever I saw it, it always brought a smile to my face. I wanted to put it on the mantel above the fireplace but because Sam looked a little stupid, he wanted on the night table in the bedroom. We decided to save that particular item until last because we weren't going to agree. We managed to place all the other framed photos out without disagreeing with each other once.
After that we did the rug and the lamp. We put the lamp in the living room behind my big, comfy reading chair in order to get better light when I read, it was very thoughtful of Sam to think of that idea, I had no clue where we were going to put it. Then we decided where to the rug; I wanted to put it in the hall, so you stepped onto it as you came through the porch door but Sam wanted it in the bathroom so you'd step on it when you got out the shower. I told him that that was a bad idea because the water would cause it to get a fusty smell and that we would eventually have to throw it away, but sooner than if it was anywhere else. We finally decided on somewhere completely different to where either of us wanted it; by the back door. That way I could both see it and use it without it being worn down too quickly. Sam was just happy that I was happy that I had found a place to put his rug in our house.
After we had finally finished moving Sam in, I led him to our bedroom where we made his moving in pretty final, if you get my meaning.
When Sam had fallen asleep I laid there next to him watching his chest rise and fall with his steady even breathing which matched the even beating of his beautiful heart. He, like I used to, spoke in his sleep. I finally saw what the fascination was. Mostly he mumbled my name and sweet things about me like how he thinks I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, how sweet I smell and how he loved to kiss me but some of the things he said were hilarious like "Mom! Orion is headed to the baby wipes," "Where's the bread, I can't find it, I'm sure I left it in here somewhere," and "Why is my washing machine in the watermelon? It doesn't go there, it lives in the microwave pizza," are a few examples. I had to try my hardest not to laugh at him comments but he was too hilarious for words. I'd tell him in the morning what he had been saying and he would laugh along with me.
Naturally, I 'woke up' before Sam in the morning, did the unnecessary human things I liked to do in the morning because it made me feel normal, like I was retaining some part of my old life, like shower and clean my teeth though I didn't sweat or eat anything to make my teeth dirty. After I got dressed, I went down the stairs to fix Sam some breakfast in bed because he was such a wonderful boyfriend. I put together a full English breakfast which smelt absolutely disgusting and a cup of his favourite tea and a glass of orange juice. I placed them all on a tray with a vase in a small flower inside and the morning paper. Once I had finished I took it all upstairs, placing it on the dresser as I kissed Sam awake. When he was, I passed him his breakfast, kissed him and bid him goodbye and set off work.
I owed, as you already know, a little bookstore in Bon Temps. Usually the day was pretty quiet but today was another of my book signings. Today's was my good friend's Maria's book signing. She always reminded me so much of Angela Weber; shy, insightful, kind, gentle and non-judgemental; I often wondered if they were actually related but never found the courage to ask. She had published a book last year called, "Kill Me Quick," which was about a girl who fell in love with a vampire and wanted to become immortal. However, the vampire she loved was on the run from assassins who wished him dead, for he was Crowned Prince of the Undead, and they wanted all his power and his name. It was a little cliché for me, after all I loved a vampire and wanted to become immortal and suffered my own threats so it didn't really appeal to me but it was well written, number one in the New Orleans Times-Picayune Book of the Year and she was a good friend of mine going on a book tour across Louisiana and she decided to start at my store.
I arrived at work at 8.30 which gave me half an hour before opening to sent up. I had to rearrange the shelving in the store so I could it a table in for Maria to sit at and a blank canvas and camera for pictures. I stacked up piles of books around the store and some on the table. I could see outside that people was already queuing, more than I expected. I had created a customer survey which asked where people where from. At my last signing I had a few people from New Orleans who were down visiting family, some from Shreveport, Bossier City and a few of the smaller town in the surrounding area. I looked like we had a lot more today.
At ten to nine, Maria pulled up. She shook a few hands and smiled before I let her in. We hugged and shared a brief conversation, mainly small talk about how we were and the weather before I let the people in. The whole event was a success. We had a queue out the door all day and my store was perpetually packed with people. I had never taken so much money in my life or sold that many books for that matter. Although most people was there to see Maria and get a copy of "Kill Me Quick" signed, people browsed the shop as well often picking another few titles to go with the signed book.
I was glad that it was so successful but by the end of the day, even though vampires don't get tired, I was absolutely shattered. Maria and I closed the store together chatting about our success and what we were doing later. I told her I was a singer at Fangtasia, something I hadn't revealed to many people, she seemed quite shocked that I could sing never mind work at a vampire bar which shouldn't have shocked her really, after all I was one of them. She told me that she would come and see me perform some time soon, probably after her Shreveport signing.
I was so glad to get home. I didn't have to leave the house until twenty-five past seven which left me about an hour twenty five minutes to get some rest. Sam had left me a note thanking me for the breakfast and he would be at Fangtasia at about ten when Tara had taken over the shift. He finished the note with an "I love you" and kisses. I could understand why he had asked Tara instead of Terry Bellefleur. He was a War Vet and it had affected him badly. Terry had already taken a fair few shifts as well as his own; he needed a break.
When I finished reading the note, I picked up my copy of Wuthering Heights, curled up on the sofa and began where I left off. I didn't bother changing because I knew Pam would attack me when I got to Fangtasia. I read peacefully until seven twenty-five when I scooped up my car keys and drove to Fangtasia. I had time in the day to think about what I was going to be doing today, revealing myself to the Cullens, to give Edward a taste of his own medicine. And I couldn't back out now; plans were already set in motion. Eric left me a voicemail saying Cullens definitely coming tonight and very eager to meet me and that he would see me later. I really didn't want to think about it but deep down I knew this was the right to do, as well as causing Edward a lot of pain.
By that time I had pulled up into the familiar car-lot of Fangtasia. Pam was standing at the staff entrance waiting for me. Eric must have told her of my plan because she was grinning ear to ear. I got out the car slowly, beginning to feel quite nauseous about it all. I smiled at Pam who stole my hand dragging me to the dressing room.
"So I hear tonight your revealing your true identity to the Cullens," she said, excitement and amusement clear in her voice.
"Yes, Pam, indeed what you heard is correct," bitterness under toning my voice.
"What brought this on, I thought you didn't want them to know, I thought you hated them for leaving you, unprotected," she asked clearly quite confused.
"I don't hate all of them, just two, one considerably more than the other but I miss the others terribly and now they are here I was thinking of salvaging the friendship we had after they come to terms with what they caused or what he caused. Plus it would cause him pain to know I'm going to around to annoy and repulse him forever, a taste of his own medicine shall we say," I replied, feeling better about it already.
"You clever, clever girl. Good on you. I hope it all goes to plan for you," she said with a smile.
"Thanks, so do I, Pam, so do I."
Tonight, because I was "revealing" myself, Pam went all out with the dresses I wore. For the first hour I was to wear a floor length, black satin dress with small cap sleeves and a square neckline, it was very beautiful and had silver beading about four inches thick under my chest. I heard Eric introduce me like he did every night and it was my cue to go on.
"Hey, y'all, tonight I'm going to be singing a few special songs which mean a lot to me and as ever I'm taking your requests so hand them in behind the bar," I spoke as my eyes scanned the room, no sign of the Cullens, not yet anyway.
"The first song I'll be singing tonight was a song that my best friend sang to me through a period of depression I was going through in my human life, he and this song, always remind me that I'm never alone, always loved and someone is always there for me, so this is Fix You by Coldplay…
When you try your best, but you don't succeed,
When you get what you want, but not what you need,
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep,
Stuck in reverse.
And the tears come streaming down your face,
When you lose something you can't replace,
When you love someone, but it goes to waste,
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you.
And high up above or down below,
When you're too in love to let it go,
But if you never try you'll never know,
Just what you're worth.
Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you.
Tears stream down your face,
When you lose something you cannot replace,
Tears stream down your face.
And I...
Tears stream down on your face,
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes,
Tears stream down your face,
And I...
Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you."
Just as I finished the song, when I noticed the bronze and black that flashed across the back of the room, I assumed that it was Edward and Alice. I had my shield risen all the time now, ever since I had found out that I had it I protected myself, Alice can't see my future, Jasper cannot control my emotions, Jane cannot touch me neither Aro, no wonder they believe I'd be a power ally. I wondered if they had caught the end of the song. I turned and smiled at Eric, flickering my eyes to their table so he knew that they had arrived. He nodded; luckily I had shields around all the Fangtasia staff as well so Edward couldn't pick my plan out their thoughts, and rose to join them.
"My next song tonight is Happy by Leona Lewis,
Someone once told me that you have to choose,
What you win or lose,
You can't have everything,
Don't cha take chances,
Might feel the pain,
Don't cha love in vain,
Cause love won't set you free,
I could stand by the side,
And watch this life pass me by,
So unhappy,
But safe as could be.
So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground,
I gotta find my place,
I wanna hear my sound,
Don't care about all the pain in front of me,
Cause I'm just trying to be happy, yeah,
Just wanna be happy, yeah.
Holding on tightly,
Just cant let it go,
Just trying to play my role,
Slowly disappear, ohh,
All these days I feel like they're the same,
Just different faces, different names,
Get me outta here,
I can't stand by your side, ohh no,
Watch this life pass me by, pass me by.
So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground,
I gotta find my place,
I wanna hear my sound,
Don't care about all the pain in front of me,
Cause I'm just trying to be happy, ohh, happy, ohh.
So and it's just that I can't see,
The kind of stranger on this road,
But don't say victim,
Don't say anything.
So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground,
I gotta find my place,
I wanna hear my sound,
Don't care about all the pain in front of me,
I just wanna be happy,
Ohh, yeah, happy, ohh, happy,
I just wanna be, ohh,
I just wanna be happy,
Ohh, happy."
The night progressed pretty much as it always did. Endless dress changes because Pam was trying to make an impression of how much I had changed since the Cullens knew me, and she was right, I had changed, I was no longer the fragile, little human who needed protection, I was an independent woman, who just happened to be incredibly strong and have a shield which comes in handy. I no longer needed every whim taken care of, I could handle everything myself, by myself. I wasn't the same person anymore, I wasn't the damsel in distress anymore, I was the knight or Volturi Princess if I had wished it but that was beside the point. I was my own being, completely altered by the harshness of life, though some qualities the same, many different. I was glad Pam had thought of this, it was a very subtle way to show them.
Sam came in at ten like he said he would, I could always count of him to keep his word, and I sang him his favourite song for him, "Flightless Bird, American Mouth", by Iron and Wine, he didn't know that this was the last song at Prom, all those years ago, where I asked Edward to make me immortal and he wasn't going to know either. I'm sure Edward remembered, from the expression on his face, tortured and pained, he did. Good, I was glad I caused him pain. When I finished the song, I went to sit with him. He had already got me a TrueBlood and himself a beer. We chatted about the book signing and his day at work, he was proud that I had a very successful signing, yet again, and I took more money than I dreamed about taking, I thought that maybe I could finally pay Eric back for the college tuition money he gave me, though he'd probably not accept it. As I spoke of Eric, he just appeared as he did from time to time. He must have excused himself from the Cullens to see us.
"Eric," I said and smiled.
"Hello, Izzy, as you already know, the Cullens would just love to meet you so I'm here to pretend to ask for your permission etc etc so it look like we haven't planned this," he replied and then winked at me.
I peered around Eric to see them, all of them, staring, looking quite eager, I looked quickly from face to face, giggled quietly, pulled Eric down to whisper in his ear, "laugh,"
So he did, looking a little confused, "You can tell the Cullens that I will meet them after today's show at the end of the corridor near the bar which leads to the staff area, your office and my dressing room, you know where I mean." I told him, a fake smile plastered on my face, "But you already knew that," I whispered after.
"Good, I'm sure they'll be very happy to know this," he smiled, winked and walked away.
After our short interchange with Eric, I got back on stage. I sang another couple of special songs and then started on the requests. I had another few dress changes; I swore that Pam was making the dresses get shorter and shorter. Luckily, the last dress I wore was cerulean blue and was silky and lacey and floor length. It was one of my favourites for the evening. And all too quickly it came to the last song. I had tried not to think about what I was going to be doing in under half hour after the bar had closed, I didn't want to think of what I was going to bring up, I didn't want to think about the pain I was going to cause the innocent bystanders in this whole situation; but I was now. I was thinking of it, and it wouldn't let me be, I tried to think of the positives; I'd be causing Edward pain, making Jake happy and letting the world know that the arrogant, overprotective, stubborn Edward Cullen couldn't bring me down. But they weren't helping, they made it seem worse, who was I to cause deliberate pain? This wasn't me, but hadn't he hurt me in the worse possible way? Hadn't he left me unprotected, to fend for myself? Hadn't he left me broken and alone? I thought that justified what I was going to do, and I took a deep breath and sang, knowing in my soul it was right; I would have said heart but my heart disagreed, it still partly loved the monster who was Edward Cullen; which was just completely absurd but true.
"This is The Watson Twins' Just Like Heaven;
"Show me how you do that trick?
The one that makes me scream", she said,
"The one that makes me laugh", she said,
Threw her arms around my neck.
"Show me how you do it?
And I promise you, I promise
That I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you."
Spinning on that dizzy edge,
I kissed her face; I kissed her head,
Dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow.
"Why are you so far away?" she said,
"Why won't you ever know
That I'm in love with you?
That I'm in love with you?"
You, soft and only,
You, lost and lonely,
You, strange as angels,
Dancing in the deepest oceans,
Twisting in the water,
You're just like a dream.
Daylight licked me into shape,
I must have been asleep for days,
I moved my lips to breathe her name,
I opened up my eyes,
Found myself alone, alone
Alone above a raging sea,
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me.
You, soft and only,
You, lost and lonely,
You, just like heaven."
I had my usual loud applause from the crowd as I bid them goodnight and a safe and pleasant journey home. I walked down my invisible, shield stairs and headed straight for my dressing room, with Sam close behind. When we were both in the room, I closed the door and locked it. If I was going to do it, I was going to do it on my terms, no-one else's. I slipped out of my dress and heels and went into the bathroom to wipe off the make-up Pam had attacked me with. I replied some eyeliner and mascara before dressing in red summer dress with a small white flowered print on it. Well, at least I and Sam thought it looked pretty. I took a deep breath before I unlocked the door, letting Sam out into the corridor so that he could tell me what was happening before I actually stepped out from the safety of my own, private, little dressing room.
There they were, all seven of them and Eric, according to Sam, they were at the end of the corridor. Now that I was about to do it I was so scared. I hadn't seen any of them in too many years; I was hoping none of them would recognize me. I had my hair up which wasn't like the old me and I surely wasn't dress like the old me, Alice would be proud I got a fashion sense. I gave Sam one last look as I stood inside my dressing room before taking his hand and an unnecessary deep breathe and stepped out. I smiled up at him as we walked down the corridor before turning my attentions to my guests.
"Dear friends, this is my little superstar, Izzy. Izzy, these are my friends I was telling you about, the Cullens."
None of them had changed, all still outrageously beautiful. All of them seemed completely unaware of who I truly was which made it all the better. I had my shield up so I was getting some funny looks from Jasper, Alice and Edward. Then I noticed Edward looked completely awestruck; I hoped he hadn't realised. Carlisle was at the head of the group so I held out my hand and smiled politely, "It's a pleasure," I managed to choke out but keeping my voice very level and even.
"No my dear, the pleasure is entirely ours," he gestured to his family, "May I ask..."
I interrupted what he was going to ask, "How rude if me, this is Sam, my partner, I think Eric told you it was our anniversary a little while ago, happiest time if my existence," I reached and kissed his lips softly. He then smiled at all of them and shook Carlisle's hand as well.
"Happiest time of my life too, my Izzy," Sam replied to me, looking down into my eyes.
Carlisle had then torn me away from Sam's eyes by asking, "Izzy is a rather interesting stage name, is that your real name?"
"Well I suppose it is, it's more of a nickname which has been growing on me, my old one brought back too many painful, human memories whenever someone spoke it," I lied, I liked the name Bella, and I wasn't going to let Edward take that away from me, "I'm sure Eric has told you all a little of my past," they all nodded solemnly, Eric must have told them quite a bit of it, "So, Carlisle, allow me to reintroduce myself to you and your family," I stood up straighter, took a deep breathe before looking into his eyes as I spoke, "my name is Isabella Marie Swan but if you'll excuse me, Carlisle and Esme, Rose, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Eric," looking from face to face, "I have to be elsewhere, good night."
And with that I picked up Sam with one hand, threw him on my back and ran leaving eight shocked faces.
[A/N: I would like to dedicate this chapter to queenfrizz30 for her, well, dedication to this story. Your reviews brighten up my day which really do need brightening; I always look forward to reading your review so thank you. Hope you all liked the chapter, yet another cliff-hanger for you. I'll try and do an Edward POV next. Thanks for reading, R&R please, love E-M-C ^^ ]