Disclaimer: it is heavily implied a sexual activity will occur and after that that it occurred. It is however barely described and everything surrounding it is written in a PG-13 acceptable fashion.
Chapter 6: You and me… breeding
It should come as no surprise to you that the concept of a driver's license does not exist on Pandora. Besides, even the best driver will have difficulty keeping his or her ride on the road. If there is one. That's not all. The vehicles on this planet with many types of terrain handle like a horse with a steering wheel droven up its a** with two limp legs. But wait, there's more. There's also lots and lots of vehicular combat and exploding mayhem and add to that that the vehicles don't have seatbelts or airbags, but do have the propensity to explode if you look at them funny… Look both ways before you cross the street? Better idea: stay inside… Where the cannibals are.
'Show me what you got,' Reine had said.
And so, Fource and the Bonecrusher minions had opened their vault for her and showed the new Gym Leader piles of bullets, grenades, ammo, weapons, shields, class mods, grenade mods, relics, elemental barrels and slag infusions, among other things.
"I'll have everything," Reine said with a smile.
They had spent all afternoon gearing up for the coming battle against the Rammers and their many runners and technicals. Fource admitted he had had a hard time coming up with a way to beat the bandit clan on their own territory as it was perfectly suited for insane drivers whose primary tactic, as you would have guessed by now, was ramming their opponents and the local wildlife, both for protection and bloody entertainment. With safe and high spots and caves being few and far between, the Bonecrushers had been forced to stay put and be blasted apart my explosive barrels thrown by the catapults on the bandit's technicals or be run over by the very aptly named outrunner vehicles as the past Bonecrushers tried dashing for another safe haven they would never reach.
Reine also hadn't divulged her solution yet, if she had even found one. She had made some calls, demanded all the information they had on the Rammers and the terrain and had looked into who provided the bandits with their technicals. So far her investigations hadn't turned up a whole lot. She had made an errant that had taken several hours and about which she refused to share anything at all, citing the value of the element of surprise.
A guy called Scooter held the monopoly on vehicles, hence their unreliability and widespread availability, but he wasn't responsible for the technical's design. Even so, despite Scooter's monopoly, the bandits were able to digistruct and repair their vehicles. You would be forgiven for not assuming that behind those blue-lit white masks and other ragged looking bandit garb, there lied some brilliant engineering minds that had slowly been driven insane by horrifying circumstances… which in part led to very poor gun safety, if the former bandit lord's name of Nine Toes was anything to go by. It was. Oh so much.
"The men are getting restless," Fource said.
The sun was going down and Reine had told everyone they would head out as soon as it dawned.
"They still have the few brain cells to know going up against the Rammers is a fight they can't win," Fource went on.
He had put on his replacement armor so as to keep his four-armed surprise for when he encountered a worthy opponent tomorrow. Though he knew someone like Reine didn't come around too often, he too was feeling quite uneasy about going up against a hornet's nest. With the hornets being hulking metal attack vehicles with regenerating ammo and explosives pools. He was tough, but Newton's third law told him: not nearly as tough as a bandit technical.
"If they want to keep those few, tell them they better man up before I ram them myself… with that excavator over there," Reine said as her eyes went from the drool on Fource's chestplate over to the huge Dahl machine on the other side of the arena.
"Eh, right," Fource said as he cleaned himself up. As he put on his helmet he continued: "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you're keeping us in the dark because you get a rise out of it. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm right."
He grinned before turning around and making his way to his chambers. As the hour grew late, Reine turned to her ECHO device as a lab report hologram appeared on it.
"Excellent service," she said with a smirk.
In the distance she saw a psycho holding an apple on his head as some of his buddies cheered on a bandit to shoot it. The bandit shrugged, pulled out his shotgun and with one shot turned the apple into mousse. Along with most of the psycho's head and shoulders.
"Face gravy!" a giant bandit with a metal helmet said.
Though his appearance made one assume the 'goliath' was morbidly obese, this type of bandit was heavily mutated hunk of muscle that soaked up bullets and dished out the pain. And then there was the secret weapon goliaths had when somebody shot off their helmet… There were a lot of secrets and surprises abound for tomorrow and more than half of them would be revealed by the Rammers as they used them against the Bonecrushers. The second step to becoming a bonafide bandit queen would be a big one and even Reine pondered things for a moment, as a lot of things could go terribly wrong with this dangerous clan she had impulsively decided to attack. Still, she commanded a Fource to be reckoned with.
If you're done facepalming over that pun, let's continue.
Speaking of the former gym leader, as Reine approached her sleeping area, she found bare-chested Fource on the bed with his armor scattered around him, the big musclebound guy looking up quite surprised.
"Did you need anything?" he said wide-eyed.
"You know," Reine said as she took of her mouth mask, "These are now my chambers and…"
Fource immediately stood up and gestured with all four of his arms.
"My apologies, force of habit…" he said before shaking his head at his own unintended pun. "I'll get out in a second, just have to get my armor and…"
As he sat down to gather the metal plates and his helmet, Reine went to sit beside him.
"I meant to say I decide what happens in these chambers and the Gym," she said.
Fource paused as our bandaged traveler cast him a glance. It was all too obvious what she was after, so he felt it was necessary to say it now:
"Actually, I'm being abstinent."
"Oh really," Reine said as she removed her rags and bandages, revealing a startling number of scars and burn marks.
She regretted the bad luck she had, though that didn't mean she wouldn't get ready to sleep in the big, bone-adorned space that was the Gym Leader's master bed room. The bed, unlike the rest of the Gym, was quite comfortable.
"I'm very serious about it," Fource said as he turned to the budding bandit queen being in the same state of undress as him. "Nah not really, come here."
To paraphrase another female warrior playing a punk rock girl in a movie about a friendly neighbourhood spiderant of sorts: 'Guy with four hands. Sounds hot.' Whatever you come up with now that I have said those six words, I'm sure I won't be able to top it. So with that being said, I'll give you a moment.
Alright, let's go.
The following morning…
"I guess that's why you took a sample of my blood," Fource said.
"Can never be too careful with… diseases," Reine replied.
"Will you ever tell me how you got all these scars?" Fource said.
"Will you ever tell me how you got these godlike arms?" Reine said as she touched them.
"Someday," Fource said.
They got dressed as the first light was breaking through. In just a few minutes they stood before the dozens of Bonecrushers Reine now had under her command.
"Are you all ready to kill some goddamn Rammers!" Reine yelled.
A cacophony of coarse voices and some more reckless gunfire was her reply.
"To the Fast-Travel station!" Reine said.
After that, it was a twenty-minute wait until all of them had gone through the one blood-soaked station near them.
Meanwhile a woman with blue tattoos and hair that looked like flames had contacted Mister Torgue over the ECHOnet.
"Do you have any idea what your announcements have caused!" she said.
"HELLO LILITH! Death and destruction? And ex…" Mister Torgue said.
As usual, he yelled every single word and punctuated each. One. For. Emphasis.
"Don't say it, but yes. We've got massive casualties all over Pandora!" Lilith the tattooed lady said.
"Isn't it great! I haven't had this much fun since our Bunkers and Badasses campaign with all my friends! Oh and there was that other illegal tournament I organized. It's like it's Mercenary day every day on Pandora! I haven't even unwrapped the last presents!" Torgue said.
"You gave countless bloodthirsty bandit clans the means to wage a full-out war! Okay, if they kill each other that's one less thing to worry about but…" Lilith said.
"Bordermon war," Mister Torgue corrected. "Oh really? I just wanted them to challenge fighters, but this is even better! This might very well be the best last illegal tournament I'll hold, ever!"
"And what's with these creatures you shipped from different continents to one another? And even from the moon? F*cking Kraggons, seriously? Have you ever even heard of a fragile ecosystem?" Lilith said.
"Eco-what?" Mister Torgue said.
Lilith sighed.
"I'll contact you again once I've dealt with this mess. Just… don't cause any more trouble," she said.
"Question! Would trouble be a Giant Incendiary Spore that I sent to you as a present ten minutes ago? Happy birthday!" Mister Torgue said.
Lilith seethed as she struggled to reply with actual words:
"You sent a… on my birthday… Urgh! Lilith out."
"Bye friend!" Mister Torgue said.
"Finally," Reine said as she was dedigistructed by the Fast-Travel station and after twenty seconds she had arrived at the lone passage through the natural stone wall surrounding the Rammers' territory.
Fource turned to her and nodded.
"I looked forward to seeing your plan in action," he said as he looked around at all the supplies they had brought. "When will we start?"
"In a moment. I suggest you stand back," Reine said.
As soon as everyone had done so and had spread out in a wide circle, she threw a big SDU riddled with spikes down onto the ground which soon digistructed a thundering creature that roared as its step shook mountains.
"That'll work," Fource said. He grinned for a few seconds before beating his chest as the other Bonecrushers followed his example. This would be one hell of a day.