A/N: This time round was inspired by my mother and Joker's porn- seperately of course. I hereby exonerate my mother of all involvement in this madness other than the suggestion of movie night. Joker's porn was entirely my own twisted fault. I hope you enjoy it and thanks to everyone who is following this and has reviewed, alerted or favourited this story. Please don't hesitate to review- I reply to every review :)
It wasn't unusual for Shepard and Liara to watch movies until late and fall asleep in the room off the infirmary, particularly when in FTL. Corny old Earth movies, mostly. Liara insisted on some new movies, and Shepard readily enough agreed.
It was enjoyable, but not how she'd have chosen to spend the evening.
Now, however, Shepard was insisting on sharing this madness with the whole crew.
"Movie night," she insisted, crossing her arms over her chest stubbornly as Liara gaped at her as if she'd grown an extra head. "It'll be fun."
"You're insane, Shepard," Liara finally said faintly.
"You like our nights together," Shepard said, and a touch of blue hit Liara's cheeks as she contemplated the other meaning of our nights together. Hurriedly she steered herself away from those thoughts.
"Yes, but that's just you and me. Why drag the rest of the crew into it?" In truth, she liked Shepard's company and having the woman fall asleep on her shoulder more than the movies. She was never big on movies, particularly the old Earth ones Shepard favoured.
"Because it'll be fun," Shepard pouted, and that did Liara in. She clenched her hands at her side, curled her fingers into her shirt in order to not poke the adorable dimples that formed whenever Shepard pouted.
"Fine," she sighed, beaten. "But you're inviting the others, not me."
In the end it took very little effort to drag the others into it. Ashley it seemed loved old movies. Kaidan would do anything that Shepard wanted. Tali was eager to learn more about human culture, and Adams wanted to watch something called 'Starship Troopers'. Shepard laughed and said maybe. Garrus took more effort; he was brooding over Saeleon, but she eventually twisted his arm. Wrex shot her a look that plainly conveyed his opinion that she was insane but shrugged and agreed anyway. Pressly claimed to be an expert on old Earth movies and Joker wouldn't have missed it for the world. Doctor Chakwas sighed and said that if Shepard insisted on not resting she should be there to watch her, but Liara caught a glimmer of amusement in her eyes as she said it.
It was arranged for that night. They were expected to reach Noveria the next day so this was the perfect chance, Shepard claimed, to watch movies and eat popcorn.
"Eat what?" Liara asked, alarmed.
Despite her better judgement, however, Liara was there, holding a bowl of something white and salty in her lap. Tali looked mournfully at the bowl of 'popcorn' and Shepard patted her shoulder. Garrus took one look at the stuff and claimed dextro-amino exception. Wrex tasted it and proclaimed it tame. Which left the humans to fight over it. And fight they did.
Shepard claimed the whole bowl for herself, but Ashley punched her for it. Meanwhile, Kaidan tried to steal the bowl but the cook held it back. Pressly, normally reserved, became a beast as he tried to claim his share and Adams started shocking people with his omnitool to get through. Shepard punched him for it and Ashley took the opportunity to charge forward to get the popcorn, only to be blocked by Kaidan.
It only degenerated from there.
The alien crew members stared in bewilderment as Joker recorded the whole thing, knowing he wouldn't stand a chance in the thick of it.
"The Popcorn Brawl!" he announced cheerfully. "You watch, when I upload this it'll go viral."
Eventually the mess was sorted out by the cook portioning individual servings of popcorn to everyone after threatening to dump the lot down the drain if they didn't control themselves. Shepard sat next to Liara and snagged some of hers casually. Liara let her.
With no love of speeches, Shepard simply turned the movie on after announcing that they were going to watch 'Star Wars'. Liara had seen this one before; she relaxed.
But what played on the screen was not 'Star Wars'.
It was porn.
Asari porn, to be exact, and everyone instantly turned to Joker, who sniggered. Garrus muttered something about not wanting to see under the armour and left. Wrex made a comment about how soft and breakable they were and, thoroughly unimpressed, began to clean his gun. Tali, looking flustered, suddenly realised that the engine was off and scurried out. Ashley excused herself with a faint noise of disgust. Kaidan stared at the screen for a moment before turning away sharply and practically diving out the room, scarlet. Pressly decided that this wasn't his kind of movie and he and Adams left together to have a drink. Chakwas sighed her sad doctor sigh and left the room.
Shepard shrugged and sat back, offering her bowl of popcorn to Liara, then turned her avid attention to the screen, and Liara realised that she liked asari. Well, of course she knew that she liked asari, but she now knew that she liked liked asari.
For a second she couldn't breathe, and distracted herself by listening to the breathy moans of the asari on screen- which really didn't help any. She took a piece of Shepard's popcorn and popped it into her mouth, focussing on the salty taste as it slipped down her throat, nearly gagging on it. The breathy moans continued, counterpointed by Wrex's rhythmic gun cleaning, and Liara, against her better judgement, stayed with Shepard, who was exchanging commentary on the video with Joker, and it became immediately clear that she had watched this sort of thing before, a lot by the sounds of it.
Really, the only good thing that came out of that night (aside from the happy revelation of Shepard's inclinations that is) was that it was the last.