Mysterion and Red Handed

Chapter 6

Count Yourself Lucky

"That's gross. Did you know that to mummify people, they would take all their organs out? They would shove a hook up the person's nose and scrape out the brain." Kenny turns a page in the book. "Now that would fucking hurt."

"Yeah, I don't plan on trying that one." Hannah opens her spiral and starts to doodle in it.

"Drawing their flag?" Kenny asks. He hadn't thought she was really that eager for a good grade.

"No, I'm drawing ours. Look." She holds her notebook up. Shaded in by a red pen was a thanksgiving turkey hand, arched at an angle. In the middle of the palm a green question mark, sketched and filled in by a green marker. The hand itself has no definition in the finger tips, and the question mark looks all wrong. There is no curve on the top, making the entire thing look more like a seven, with a random dot underneath.

He shakes his head. "The colors make it look like a Christmas card," he says, "let me try it."

Hannah hands him her pens and notebook, then takes the textbook from him.

"A common plant was papaya. They actually used it to make paper. And a common animal was the Nile crocodile. Ever got eaten by one of those?"

Kenny draws a large circle. "No."

"I have. Denver Zoo. Took me twenty minutes just to die."

"Ouch."

Hannah leans over the table and looks at his spiral. With a fit of disgust, she pulls the notebook from him. "Dammit Kenny, that's not going to be our symbol," she snaps as she tears the doodle away. Kenny has one last glimpse of his pornographic art before it's gone forever.

He just laughs and she rolls her eyes at him playfully.

That day, like always, Kenny and Hannah spent their recess together. They built up a snowman, and broke out into a playful snowball fight. Hannah had a good arm; she was able to get several good shots right at his face. So he tackled her to the ground, and soon they were both laughing, covered in snow.

Suddenly, the sun was blocked by a near solar eclipse. Kenny looked up only to find Cartmen standing above him, his fat bulging out of his tux. He was cleaning his monocle with a handkerchief.

"Kenneth, the guys and I have been talking, and, we're willing to let you join us as VIPs."

Kenny sits up and his head tilts. "You are?"

"Yes. We'll even help you out financially until you can make up the money on your own."

Kenny stands up straight and gives Hannah his hand. He pulls her to his feet then turns back to Cartmen. Behind the fifth grader, Kenny could see Stan and Kyle posing beside the jungle gym. They were trying to look important, and were showing off to all of the other kids on the playground.

"And how am I supposed to do that?" Kenny asks.

Cartmen replaces his monocle. "You'll work for us. We've opened a business you see, and we need to hire employees."

Hannah brushes the snow off of her pants. "What kind of business?" she asks nonchalantly.

Cartmen stares her down. "That's a trade secret," he says coldly.

Kenny is turned off of the offer instantly.

"No thanks, I'm good."

Cartmen blinks. "But…Kenny, this will make you rich."

If there's one thing I've learned from you, it's that you lose twice as much of what you gain.

Kenny turns back to Hannah. "C'mon, let's go play on the swings," he says, and the two walk away, smiling.

Cartmen starts to cuss, turns away, and hobbles over to the monkey bars.

"He said no!" he shouts.

Stan and Kyle turn towards their somewhat friend. "He said no?"

"Yeah, he fucking said no! I don't get it! He's poor as shit, and we offer to help him out, offer to share the wealth, and he turns it down!"

Kenny is over hearing all of this from the swing set not far away and he's trying not to laugh. He just loves pissing Cartmen off.

Kyle shrugs. "Well, maybe he just doesn't want to play."

Cartmen's eyes narrow so much that he has to take his monocle out. He throws it on the ground. "You think this is a mother fucking game, Kyle?! We're not pretending to be VIPs, ok. It's fucking real."

Stan's head tilts. "Dude, we got the free version of the VIP app, and we already had our suits from Kyle's grandma's funeral a few years ago."

"Careful Kenny."

Kyle nods. "Yeah, and you're monocle and my cane are just part of a Halloween costume."

"Yeah, but that hummer limo was real!"

"Kenny, slow down!"

"Cartmen, the only reason why we got a ride from that limo is because the driver was dumb enough to think that the VIP app means we can get free stuff."

"So? He still fucking drove us to school!"

"Kenny!"

Kenny hadn't realized how high he was swinging until it was too late. With one final pump of his legs, Kenny loops over the top bar, shoots off the swing, and flies straight into the side of the school. Splat; his guts spread over the brick like a bug on a windshield.

Hannah slams her heels into the snow and forces herself to stop.

"Oh my God! They killed Kenny!"

"You bastard!"

Hannah's eyes shoot over the scene. Kenny's guts and parts are slowly flaking off of the brick. The other fifth graders stand gaping at the disaster. Stan has dropped his pipe, Kyle has let go of his cane, and Cartmen is on the floor, rolling in the snow, laughing.

And then, suddenly, Hannah sees it all reset in their eyes. Every fifth grader around her looks confused. Stan hesitates before picking up his pipe; Kyle grabs for his cane and Cartmen rolls until he can stand up, adjusts his monocle, and turns away from the mess.

And they all just keep talking, as if nothing ever happened.

Hannah looks back up at Kenny's remains, or what is left. Like that night of the bull riding, his body was already disappearing. The guts and blood start to fade; his cracked scull and misplaced femur have vanished, and soon all that is left is his orange parka. And then, that's even gone.

She sighs and jumps out of the swing. Screw the rest of the school day. She can catch up tomorrow. Solemnly, she leaves the playground and walks down the street. Past the small shops and the two story houses, Hannah finally reaches the McCormick house.

In the last three weeks, Hannah has only been here once; the other night, when the cops were called. She didn't know which room was Kenny's, but it only took a few window searching until she could find it: the room with the dirty posters on the walls. No doubt about it.

But Kenny wasn't in his bed.

Hannah stands on some discarded milk cartons to look into the room. She waits and stares. Kenny had told her once that he always returned back in his bed. She was starting to wonder if this wasn't his room after all until the bedroom door opened.

She ducked down a bit and watched as Kenny's mom came into the room, looking half asleep. In her arms was a small bundle, which she wrapped in an orange jacket that she took from Kenny's dresser.

The woman placed the bundle on the bed, and then left, not saying a word.

Hannah waited a minute, then pulled the window open and crept into the room. She heads to the bed and stares down at the bundle.

It's a baby.

Hannah understands in a heartbeat, and is hardly surprise as Kenny's new body grows to its original age, filling his parka up until all of his shaggy blond hair is covered by the hood.

When he's finished growing, his eyes shoot open and he looks at her.

She just stares at him.

Later that night, Mysterion and Red Handed are working on their hideout. They were painting the outside a typical smoky gray, the inside already done. Mysterion had barely said anything in the last hour, but Red didn't have to guess why. After he had woken up, Hannah and Kenny had returned to school, only to be yelled at by Garrison for trying to skip class. They both got detention for it.

That had put Kenny in a foul mood, and it hadn't changed with the mask. Hannah hadn't even been able to cheer him up.

But then again, she hadn't actually tried.

"You shouldn't be mad at them," the red head says as she covers the edge of the window. Mysterion is on the wall to her left.

"Mad at who?" he grunts.

"Garrison, Kyle and Stan, the other fifth graders. It's not their fault that they can't remember."

Mysterion slaps a large glob of paint onto the wood. "They're assholes. Don't even remember their own friend dying right in front of them."

Red shakes her head. "It's not their fault," she says again, "they cared when they first saw it. Well…Cartmen didn't. You can be mad at him. But everyone else—"

"They never fucking care. They always say the same thing; every god damn time! 'They killed Kenny', and 'You bastard', and then they just move on. Who the hell is 'they' anyways? Because if there are a group of people controlling this, I want to fucking meet them so I can kick their asses!"

Red stops painting and turns to him. "Kenny, it's part of the curse—"

"Well you know what? It fucking sucks! My friends never remember! I die right in front of them, and they never fucking remember! And you know what? My parents never fucking remember either! My own parents! I get shot in the head at the fucking dinner table, and the next morning, they're yelling at me for being late for school!"

Red throws the paintbrush down into the snow. The white at her feet instantly turns black, looking like a grape snow cone.

Her red gloves ball up into fists. "Well at least you fucking have parents!" she shouts at him. "Do you know how jealous I am with that? Do you know how my home life is?! My dad is gone for days at a time because of fucking work, and my mom is dead!"

Mysterion's eyes widen while Red takes a deep breath.

"You have no idea what I would give to have a mom like yours. Do you even know that every time you die, she's the one that's giving birth to your new body?"

"Wh…what?"

"You didn't know did you? That's right; every time you die, your mom gives birth to your new body. That's why you wake up in your room every morning! She puts you there after she gives birth to you! And you know why I just come back to life where I died? Because my mom died when she gave birth to me the first time! Because she's not here to keep doing it for me over and over again!"

Mysterion frowns. "Hannah…" he whispers. She's crying. He's never seen her cry. He's heard her scream in pain, but he has never seen her cry.

Red shakes her head. "Just count yourself lucky, Ken. You have the curse, sure, but at least you're not alone with it. At least you have family. And…at least you have friends."

With that, Red turns and leaves.

Across the little town, hidden in his basement, is a pathetic little man leaning over an ancient book. Slowly, he starts to chant a long ritual in a language long forgotten to the rest of the world. Before him, a symbol – etched in shards of broken glass – is laid out on his desk. With every word, the glass shakes and bleeds. Through the melting shards, the man can see a whole other world; a world filled with demons and death.

He smiles to himself. He's ready.