FoxSpy
By Crystal Psycho
Summary: March 9th. I'll deny that we bathed together. Seriously, the fact that he stripped in front of me and then slept with me on the same bed without boxers is hard enough to digest. [SasuNaru, fox!Naruto
NOTE: Mamashi Kishimoto's characters, names and sort of universe. Written in Naruto's POV.
Warnings: Sai being a bitch… and that's probably it.
FIVE: Elope
Day X
I had the sweetest sleep ever.
It just felt like every muscle in my body suddenly relaxed. I had such a deep and quiet sleep; a real rest after such a long time.
The smell of burning bread filled my nose. Mmmnnn food…
I snuggled further into the soft sheets… they smell so good… vanilla… I slid my hand on the sweet scented fabric, loving the gentle breeze on the window that cooled my naked skin.
And then I jumped up, recalling exactly what made me sleep like that.
I looked around with the realization that I was naked on Sasuke's bed and that the smell of burnt bread still filled my nose. For some reason, my body went into panic mode and I quickly started to make the seals for the transformation. I was down to the last three when Sasuke stumbled into the room with a tray of food.
I blinked at him and he blinked back.
"Don't you dare to transform!" He ordered with a smug smirk and headed towards me.
Oh no. What has cruel fate planned for me now? To be murdered by him? Raped? Oh god, I hope it will be murdered, no way am I going to get raped by the bastard.
He ordered me to sit up and placed the trail on my legs.
"Eat." He pointed to the food.
It was a burned toast, a glass of milk, a pat of butter and a little chocolate bar.
Uh oh, he thinks he's my boyfriend. MUST ESCAPE AT ALL COSTS.
"You dip-shit used your chakra too much, and because of that, the moment you let your body relax was the moment your body fell asleep. I guess you are too dumb to understand when you're tired to death."
"Hey! Who are you to call me dumb? You bastard!"
"Your master."
"You're nuts." I placed the tray next to me and was about to stand up but he pushed me down. "Eat." He stuffed the toast into my mouth. I didn't want to eat at first. Something inside my mind practically yelled; 'It's poisoned, Beware!' so I took the first bite gingerly, preparing myself for the worst. It was actually okay for a really burned-out toast. I could taste the cheese inside.
I took me about a minute to finish the whole meal, and I started chewing the chocolate.
"Sorry for making you go hungry. I didn't even think you might be a real human."
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh come on. I saw you. There's no point in hiding now."
I was silent for a few seconds.
"I didn't think you'd be a real blonde either by the way." Sasuke glanced at my crotch for a second before smirking maliciously at me.
I yelped, covering myself with both hands. "Bitch! Did you rape me?"
"No. You were dead to the world, and I didn't want you to get a cold, so you slept next to me."
"Were you at least clothed?"
"No."
You might think that these kinds of things were normal for horny teenagers. But you'd bewrong. No way I'll admit to having slept with him. Never. Ever. If somebody asks, or wants to know… say you don't know any Naruto that slept with any Sasuke because Sasuke is a horny bastard. And if you are a bitch and secretly talk about it, here is a warning; I'll deny everything. You hear? I'll deny that we bathed together. Seriously, the fact that he stripped before my eyes and then slept with me on the same bed completely naked is hard enough to digest.
Why torture me some more?
"So why did you come here in the first place?"
"What?"
"Did Sakura send you?"
"No."
"A woman of some kind must have sent you here!"
I looked down, feeling trapped. But it was the Hokage, dammit!
"For what purpose?"
"Don't worry, I won't tell how fucking huge your stinky dick is!" I snapped.
Sasuke raised an eyebrow; "Hmmm? It seems that beside just sitting there looking innocent while I was doing my thing in the bathroom , you were quite busy watching?"
"I was not!"
"You were."
"I was not!!"
"But you were!"
"Stop being embarrassing, I was not. Why would I?"
"Because you're a curious blond. Aren't you, now…?"
Naruto growled and stuffed the rest of the chocolate inside his mouth, stubbornly rolling his eyes away from Sasuke.
"When do I get to leave?"
"Probably never, since your mine."
"What's with that, you possessive gay freak?"
Sasuke smirked and leaned towards Naruto; "Possessive people also take what they want." He whispered huskily to my ear. "Should I take you…?"
I gaped a few times like a golden fish in a pink tank, hating the fact that he made my cheeks flush within moments. But before my mind could produce a good reply, his eyes darted to the right and the smug grin on his face disappeared.
Suddenly, two masked ANBU agents pinned Sasuke to the wall of his bedroom. He tried to struggle, but then sighed and slumped bonelessly back. "What's this all about?" He asked, as if I knew something.
I sat there, dumbfounded, blinking until Tsunade cracked open the door followed by a crying Sakura, a Sasuke-look-alike and Shikamaru.
She scanned Sasuke with a displeased expression on her face, before a gasp escaped her lips when she turned and saw me sitting naked on the bed.
"Naruto, I'm disappointed."
"Tsunade-"
"Sleeping with the enemy?"
I yelped, covering myself with the sheet, like some sissy-girl. "It's not what you think!"
"I think it's exactly what I think."
"No, really, He was just being a bastard-"
"Yeah, and you loved bit of it, you fag!" Sakura yelled, waving her hands at me like I'm the cause of the distress in her life (and I probably was… since her life is based around Sasuke) Sakura-chan…
I'm not fag - he's the fag, I wanted to say, but Shikamaru sighed, scratching his head.
"Naruto, you'll have to go in for an interrogation. You are under suspicion of cooperating with a drug dealer. Sorry to be so formal, man… Please follow me…"
"Wait, wait, wait… what's this all about?"
"Somebody caught this guy on tape making a drug deal."
"Drug deal?" Sasuke repeated, scandalized.
"Unlike you! Ungrateful, back-stabbing brat! This not-so-useless little shit came back with evidence." She pointed at Sasuke-look-alike.
"Sasuke's boyfriend?! But I thought-"
"Both Naruto and Sai?!" Sakura shrieked, sobbing into Tsunade's shirt.
"I knew you were a bitch, Sai. But you've gone too far." Sasuke growled to the smiling copy of himself but with shorter hair.
"Wait! I've been with him the whole time, there's no way he'd do the drug deal-"
"Not one, three in the whole time you were here. Just one was caught on tape." The Hokage corrected.
"Oh come on, he's a bastard, but he doesn't do drugs. Right, Sasuke?"
Sasuke glared at me. I winced. "Tsunade-baa-chan, you have to believe me, I was with him the whole time!"
"The whole time? How about when you went for a walk with Itachi, or when Sasuke left for school, or to buy something. You haven't followed him; you were completely ignorant about the entire thing."
"I was not- Tsunadeeee!"
"Did you take some too?"
"What?! Can't you understand he hasn't brought home or used any at all? What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Get the brat out of my sight, and handle this shit to prison until his trial-"
"Prison?!" Sasuke's eyes bulged out. If the situation was not so tense, I would've probably laughed for hours.
…
…
…
Day XI
It's been hours since I last had my coffee.
I haven't slept more than 24 hours for sure. I have already witnessed three interrogation shifts. First it was Shikamaru, who like always was being the great friend he was, he asked the questions calmly, insisted that somebody bring us coffee, and refused to act like I'm a real convict.
Afterwards came a normal Chunin guy, I know how to handle those from birth since I'm an expert at making pranks and fooling around, so in the end the guy left the room crying.
Then came Ino.
She stared at me for ten minutes straight without speaking a word and started her very long and very tiring (let me stress that by this time I already was a few hours without my coffee) lecture; "In the bible, it says two men are forbidden to be together. Especially if it's Sasuke-kun."
"Sasuke is mentioned in the bible?" was my smart reply.
"For your information," she banged her hand on the table. "Sasuke-kun is not really gay, and he probably doesn't even love you. He was just troubled."
"Uh… if you meant to say that people who do the 69 position with Sai are troubled, then I'd totally agree with you."
She puffed her cheeks with anger and started lecturing me about not having morals and being a noodle-brain up until this moment, when I sit inside this stinking interrogation room, counting the minutes that flew by since my last cup of coffee.
"…Did you touch him there – in his- in his… you know-"
"Ino you're 17, grow up, you can say 'dick' or 'asshole' just fine without stuttering."
"Shut up!"
Somebody knocked on the door before letting himself in. "Sorry, Ino-chan, Naruto has his clean-up-and-have-a-piss hour." Chouji smiled to her.
"But I'm not finished with him; he was just starting to talk!"
"About how immature you are? I'll have to pass. My blabber is about to explode." I stood up. Apparently I forgot being only in boxers and in Sasuke's shirt I found out quickly while I was there. She screamed and covered her eyes, as if she'd never seen a man in boxers. I raised my eyebrow, following Chouji out of the room.
Crazy fan-girl. She must think the only one she'll ever see in boxers is going to be Sasuke. Yeah, right, like he'll give her the pleasure.
We walked for half a minute until I noticed we weren't going to the bathroom at all, I was about to ask Chouji where're we going, but then I noticed that he lead me to some dark room in the Hokage building. "Trouble-"
"-Some." Somebody completed the word for him, by the voice it was clear too. Shikamaru dispelled his dark-shadow consume () technique, looking extremely displeased.
"I told you passwords were fun, Shikamaru!" He giggled, taking out a pack of chips. "Don't be so troublesome, Chouji." He warned and turned to me. "Listen, we have only a few seconds before Tsunade comes to visit you."
"What- Why did we leave? I have to tell her that Sasuke and I-"
"Naruto, listen. She won't believe you no matter what you say. The one on tape was probably not Sasuke but a clone of him."
"What?"
"Sasuke's blood and system must be clean from drugs since he hadn't taken any in his jail cell and he hasn't shown any signs of withdrawal or being in pain. The laboratories won't be sure by tomorrow evening but it might be too late then. Think really hard, is there somebody who wanted to frame him?"
"Why would there be? Well, I know he's a bastard, but still…"
"Sai founded two bags of drugs inside Sasuke's stand. Enough for earn at least a thousand. Go to Sasuke, take him out of there and run. Sasuke doesn't have any legal support and his family aborted all their support on him."
"Itachi… did…?"
"Go now."
…
…
…
It took me a few minutes to slip into jail and locate Sasuke.
His highness was sitting on a bunk bed, a dead-guy lying face down on blood puddle on the floor next to the bed.
"Huh, Mr. Officer, did you reconsider and came back to accept my offer?" It was sad how badly his bad-ass personality suited this place. "Oh. It's you."
"Have a kink on men in uniform, Bastard?"
"I really don't have the shit to talk to you. Sorry. Come some other time."
"No can do, I'm on the run."
"Really, great for you dumb-ass, while running away you seemed to end up just in the place they wanted you to be in."
I glanced worriedly at the dead guy on the floor. "He's just taking a nap." Sasuke reassured, and stood up.
"On the floor?"
"Yes." He pushed the guy a bit with the toe of his shoe, the body spun as a trail of blood slid from his mouth.
"He's drooling blood; he might be contagious or something, Sasuke. Especially if he tries anything right?"
"He already tried. And look where he ended up."
"I thought you liked being gay."
"Why? Jealous that I'm not with you?" he leaned on the bars. "Why did you come here?"
"I have a question."
"No, you're dumb. That's my answer. Bye now."
"Did you, or did you not make a drug deal?"
"What do you think?"
"The truth."
He diverted his eyes from me and then to me.
"Either way I'm going to rot here, no?" he turned around, kicking the dead guy on the floor in the process.
I opened the cell. He looked surprised somewhat.
Afterwards this smug, twisted smirk stretched on his pale face.
"Well, well, well… isn't this like we're eloping?"
"Shut up and get out."
…
…
A/N: THIS WAS 'BETA'ED BY THE GENIUS OF OUR AGE:
Eien-no-Ren
Hail her.
– Not Shikamaru's real technique, but I think he can make a big shadow over the whole room. I think. :S work with me, here… please:D
Lolz.
Naruto is in love! Nyahahahahhahhahahhahhahahahahahaha!
Sorry for the long wait! I've failed four out of ten courses.
I should die.
But I got to take a re-exam, because I made good excuses. Hail me. :P
I got lazy about chapter 6.
Sorry :(
THANK YOU EVERYBODY WHO REVIEWED, your supporting me makes me a happy author.
I have no words to tell you how much I appreciate this!
Bye-bi,
And Get yourself a vanilla-cookie!
:D