Okay so uh... things are uh... still going down hill for poor Shiro but... but... shut up I said but! Uh... yeah anyway... yeah... lots of love to and for contestantnumber2 who has helped me so much it's not even expressible! I love you so much and *bows too deeply and does a somersault thing, landing on my back* Ow... *rubs back before realizing that everyone's staring* Uh... *smiles brightly* I meant to do that... anyway, thanks!
Secret: ...screw the secrets, it's a surprise.
Disclaimer: I do not own Falling Inside the Black or Skillet... but I do however-
Shiro: No you don't own Bleach!
Me: ...d...don't yell at me... *cries in a corner*
Walking up to the graves again, Shiro took his sunglasses off as he pulled his hood back before taking his coat completely off, sighing in relief to be home again. He was in his favorite outfit, baggy black pants with tons of pockets, a simple black long sleeved shirt, black gloves, pure black skater shoes, a long white hooded trench coat, and black tinted sunglasses. He laid an Orange Lily along with an orange rose on Ichigo's grave.
"I'm sorry the flowers are late Ichi, I had some troubles finding them all."
A Blue Orchid with a blue rose for Grimmjow. "Blue Orchid's are pretty rare and I spend the last of my money on it so no complaining unless you have a way a dead man can make money."
A Ghost Flower and a white rose for himself though no words were said.
And kneeling in front of the grave next to his, he placed a Purple Carnation and a purple rose. In loving memory of Yoruichi Shihoin. "I hope they're alright... I never knew if you had a favorite flower either but I knew that purple was your favorite color so hopefully these will satisfy you, where ever you are." he bowed his head and apologized for not paying more attention to her. He rubbed his choker that now hid the bandage around his neck, once again thanking her for it and promising to wear it forever. He sighed and laid on his coat across the four graves, crossing his legs over each other and folding one arm behind his head while the other continued to fidget with the necklace as he thought about everything that had happened.
It had been four years since he's been dead and he spent all day wandering around to different places and all night here with his family, seeing that he couldn't sleep now that he was dead. He learned to adapt to the thirsty and starved feeling and what he found unbearable was that he couldn't die again no matter how hard he tried to, even drowning himself only made him feel suffocated for as long as he could tolerate it but it would never kill him. He could still feel pain though it wasn't as intense and he was more sensitive to the sun, becoming even more of a night person... he never really had liked day.
At Yoruichi's funeral, he had been blamed by a few people... especially Nel... she was furious, cursing his name left and right... it hurt a bit but he didn't care too much. He sighed again, remembering the advents of today.
"Ichi..." he talked mostly to Ichigo but spoke to the others when he had something to tell them. "I seen Karin today... her and Yuzu turned thirteen not too long ago right? Anyway, I was just wandering around like usual when I thought about revealing myself to the family... see if they'd accept me. I found that my feet carried me to the family house... they're moving you know... I don't know to where but the house seemed kinda empty and there was a "For Sale" sign outside. I was staring at the house for awhile before Karin came out, asking if I needed anything. I left without saying anything." he paused for a little bit, counting a few stars. "I couldn't do it... I can never do it... I just can't..." a few silent tears flowed from his eyes. He didn't cry as much as he used to but he still did in the right moments, no longer trying to hold them back.
"Anyway... I've got so much time to think that I'm running out of things to think about and it's so frustrating with nothing to do and so much spare time. But I guess I've gotta get outta here tomorrow, seeing it's the anniversary of our deaths and our families should be here. Yer dad would come right Grimm? He seems like a pretty cool guy though he's really quiet... if you two didn't look so much alike, I'd say that you weren't even related cause you guys are so different." he chuckled. "I wish I could've met him instead of just seeing him whenever he comes to give ya flowers." he sighed again, rolling over on his side and closing his eyes before starting to sing his and Ichigo's song. He was able to find something to talk about for the rest of the night, no matter how small or pointless.
Shiro was still in his favorite outfit, he hadn't felt like changing last night or this morning so didn't. He smelt food and felt his hunger again but repressed the pointless feeling-he couldn't eat anyway so why was he always so starved? Was he supposed to suffer for the rest of eternity? That's when it occurred to him-he was thrown out of his thoughts when he ran into someone. He looked down to see who it was... it was Rukia!
"Hey watch it." Renji growled shoving the darkness away, nearing fueling him to punch the redhead back but refrained. Nel was there too, what was he going to do? They sure as Hell weren't going to let him pass without answering.
"Renji knock it off, it was an accident." Rukia said, looking up to try to see under the dark berry's hood but he bowed his head low as an apology before turning away to leave maybe they would left him go. They all should be twenty three by now and he still looked only nineteen.
"Hey punk I was talking to you!" Renji yelled and he felt his hood being pulled back. He quickly grabbed it and held it tightly... too late... his silence meant that he had seen the wild white spikes. Slightly looking back, he seen the redhead throw his fist but couldn't afford to fight back so he just let himself get hit. He felt very little pain, if he hadn't seen his fist, he would've thought he had barely slapped him. He smirked at the thought but the smile left his face when he noticed that his glasses had fallen off. He kept his head down, not looking up.
"Renji!" Rukia yelled at him, pulling him away.
"It's Shiro! I'm telling you that it's fucking Shiro!" he yelled, pointing at the dead berry and he just stood there, still holding his hood. His glasses were suddenly held in front of him and he slightly looked up to see Nel's smiling face.
"Here you go. Please excuse my friend, he's just a bit..." she opened her eyes from the sweet smile to look into his dead ones. Realizing that Renji wasn't just seeing things, she glared deathly at him but felt as though she couldn't move.
'Fuck...' Shiro quickly snatched his glasses and left before she could attack him too. 'This is bad... what the fuck am I gonna do? I've gotta watch my back from now on, no doubt they'll be looking for me.' he thought as he put his sunglasses back on, heading anywhere away from them. They would be looking for his white trench coat so he needed to change his clothes.
After he had changed into simple jeans, a T-shirt, and a hoodie, he walked among a crowd, wondering where he would go from here. He wanted to go hide out at home but his family would be there and he was so sick and tired of hiding. He tried to hide his frustrated tears as he thought but the fact that he was alone with nowhere to go.
A few days had passed and he kept to the shadows more than usual and went less places but he hated being at the cemetery during the day because people were there and it was just different then the night even when he was the only one.
He was the so relieved when another day and passed into night, signaling that he could go home. Shiro sighed, quiet exhausted as he placed his sunglasses on his tombstone and his jacket at the side. Pulling his shirt over his head and laying it on top of his jacket, he laid down on the soft grass after greeting everyone. He hated wearing a jacket all the time so on cool nights like tonight, he took his shirt off he never really did like wearing shirts-clothes at all. He never once has taken the patches off of his body or neck. He never wanted to see the still open wounds, especially his neck.
"I tried to see the family again... they're gone... I was too late..." he sighed, feeling useless. He looked at the flowers he had given everyone to see that they were dying and sighed again. "I'll see what I can do about getting you guys some more flowers soon, but for now, I'll tend to the ones dad and the girls left." he was silent for awhile before speaking again. "Nel and Renji were here earlier weren't they? I haven't seen them much and luckily they haven't seen me since the incident... what am I going to do? I know that no one will believe them that they seen me but they're looking for me themselves. I don't want to run but I can't face them even if I wanted to. What am I gonna do? What can I do?" he closed his eyes to try and relax as he started rubbing his choker again, it had really become a great comfort to him.
"Yoru... Grimm... Ichi... thank you guys so much for listening... I thought that I was keeping you guys company at first but really... you guys are keeping me company... thanks. It helps a lot-" Shiro was suddenly pinned down and opened his eyes to see Renji holding his arms down.
"What the Hell?" he was about to throw him off when Nel sat on him, starting to repeatedly punch him. He finally shook his arms free of Renji's grasp and punched him before rolling on top of Nel, grabbing her throat tightly. He was tackled by Renji but easily kicked him off of his body. "What the fuck do you guys want?" Shiro growled.
"Revenge!" Nel yelled back, stunning the dead berry.
"You killed all of them!" Renji shouted. "Grimmjow, Yoruichi, and you raped and murdered your own twin you sick fuck!" guilt overwhelmed Shiro and he stood straight instead of his ready fighting stance.
"You're right... I fucked Ichi before tearing his heart out... we've been a couple our entire lives and I found out that he was cheating on me with Grimm so I killed him too... but Yoruichi killed herself. I tried to stop her but by the time I-"
"Don't you ever say her name again!" Nel yelled, tears running down her face as she charged at Shiro with a knife though he easily dodged and was able to steal it from her and detain her, holding her own knife to her throat.
"I was talkin ya know... it's impolite to interrupt someone when they're talkin..." he whispered evilly. He was snapping again. "By the fucking time that I finally realized that she was about to kill herself, she had already done it. Now... if you fuckers haven't noticed-" Renji punched him in the face, he was surprised but since he felt less pain than humans, it didn't hurt too bad so he didn't release Nel-pressed the blade harder against her throat even, to force Renji back. "Ah ah ah... that was a bad move Ren... ya don't wanna be responsible for the girl's death now do ya?" Renji growled.
"So what if you didn't kill Yoruichi-you still killed two other people!"
"Three actually..." they both looked shocked and confused. "You fucking idiots are forgetting that I killed myself too! I. Am. Dead." he said slowly through his teeth before shoving Nel toward Renji who caught her before turning around to stick the knife into his own grave. "My skin, my eyes, I haven't aged in the last four years... can you not see this? I woke up in a fucking coffin after running a steel blade through my own throat for god's sake! I have no idea how the Hell I'm standing here but I am! I'm dead!" he shouted, taking his choker off and throwing it with the rest of the stuff before taking off his neck wrap for the first time and the other two nearly screamed at the sight of the torn flesh. "Yeah does it look like I can fucking be alive with this?" he asked, pointing to it. He sighed, trying to calm down.
"Look, I'm sorry I scared you alright..." he covered his neck again. "But it was the only way to make you listen to me. Right before I killed myself, I asked for the worst punishment for what I had done... this is it." he gestured to himself. "I can't sleep, I can't eat, can't drink, I can't do anything... I'm not hurting anyone but if you guys tell anyone about me then one of two things will happen. One: They won't believe you and you'll be considered crazy or two..." he hesitated but continued. "I'll have to hurt someone... and I really don't wanna do that. All I wanna do is sit here and attempt to make up for what I've done... is that okay with you? Cause I really don't want to have to be watching my back and hiding even more then I am now. Okay?" the other two nodded, terrified.
Shiro motioned them away and they quickly made their leave. Shiro sat in front of Ichigo's grave softly starting to cry. He didn't care if they tried anything. He just wanted Ichigo... that's all he wanted... was to cry on his shoulder and that wanting only reminded him further of what he did, making him cry harder.
"Why are you crying mister?"
Tonight I'm so alone
This sorrow takes a hold
Don't leave me here so cold
(Never want to be so cold)
Your touch used to be so kind
Your touch used to give me life
I've waited all this time
I've wasted so much time
Don't leave me alone
Cause I barely see at all
Don't leave me alone, I'm...
Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Dreaming of the way it used to be
Can you hear me
Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Falling inside the black
Falling inside, falling inside the black
You were my source of strength
I've traded everything
That I love for this one thing
(Stranded in the offering)
Don't leave me here like this
Can't hear me scream from the abyss
And now I wish for you my desire
Don't leave me alone
Cause I barely see at all
Don't leave me alone, I'm...
Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Dreaming of the way it used to be
Can you hear me
Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Falling inside the black
Falling inside, falling inside the black, black, black, black
Falling in the black...
Slipping through the cracks...
Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Dreaming of the way it used to be
Can you hear me
Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Falling inside the black
Can you hear me
Falling inside the black
Can you hear me
Falling inside the black
Can you hear me
Falling inside...
Falling inside, falling inside the black
Who's the mysterious person calling for Shiro? Do they mean him harm? Is it even for him? Will he break down and kill again? What will happen? Ooooooo... suspense... not for long though... it won't take me too long to get the next chapter out. Please review, see ya soon.