Author's Note: Mentions of character death and cancer. This story is set eight months after the death of Finn Hudson where Rachel Berry begins a struggle of her outside of her grief. Also, I am extremely sorry about the lack of updates however this chapter will be followed by another in the coming days. Thank you for stick with this story and with me and these characters – Jess.

Chapter Six – Midnight Hallucinations

It had been a week, a week of struggling and a week of fighting for Rachel. She was struggling to do anything, getting out of bed was the hardest task of her day and she was trying so hard to act normal and be normal yet it just wasn't happening. She had gone to one class only to be sent home half way through it because she was on the verge of passing out and really just needed to be home in bed. It was frustrating at the best of times but she knew that her health and well being trumped going to classes any day. Her fathers had taken action and deferred her course for a year until she was hopefully in remission because they weren't about to let her fail her classes purely because she was sick. Luckily for Rachel they had agreed and she was going to be able to focus on the most important things for the time being.

Throughout the duration of her treatment her mind had wandered back to Finn continuously. In her darkest hours in the middle of the night when she was completely alone he would appear, he would tell her to continue fighting and his figure would sit on the end of her bed looking back at her telling her that she was strong and that he was there helping her along. Rachel was hallucinating from all of the drugs she had been given and the fever that had spiked up during the night but in those dark moments he was there. Her Finn was there and looking after her and he wasn't leaving her. Scooting over in her bed she watched as he moved and wrapped his arms around her. "I've missed you so much, Finn. You have no idea how hard life is without you here. It's so so hard. Everyone thinks I'm okay but I'm not and now this, I'm not sure I can fight it without you. I'm scared of dying but at the same time I know that if I did, I would be with you again. We could get our happily ever after, just in another place." She said. "You can't die, Rach. I can't let you. I love you too much, you're the love of my life and I refuse to let you lose this fight." He said back to her. Little did she know that Puck had walked in, he hadn't left her side and in reality it was him that was there holding her but he let her talk to Finn. It was a one sided conversation on his end but he knew that talking to Finn could possibly help Rachel and he wasn't going to shatter that moment for her. "It hurts so much but I..I.. I promise I'll fight. Noah.. Noah needs.. needs me to fight.. I think." She mumbled before finally falling asleep clinging to the warm body holding her.

Later that morning Rachel woke up to a room filled with bright colors and photos strung up on a string across her window. It was Puck's doing, he had gotten to work wanting to brighten up her room as much as possible and evoke happy memories within her. With a yawn she rubbed her eyes and squinted against the light shining into the room. When she finally came out of her tired state she looked around the room and a smile soon lit up her features. "This is amazing." She whispered to no one in particular. When Puck cleared his throat he smiled down at her and went to sit beside her. "I figured you deserved some kick ass memories in here. Like the time we won Nationals and all that other stuff." He said while wrapping his arm around her shoulders and rubbing her arm gently to generate some warmth into her chilled body. "Thank you, Noah. It's.. it's perfect. I miss him, even if I did dream of him last night.. It's just so weird, he's not here but in some way he is." She knew that she probably sounded a little crazy but she loved Finn and not having him there was so hard for her. "But you were here.. you held me last night didn't you?" She asked. Puck didn't say anything he just kissed her temple, it was the only answer that she needed in that moment. "He would be proud of you. And I know that he would appreciate you being here for me and being the support that you have been for me." Perhaps she had spoken those words before, perhaps she hadn't and maybe she didn't say them enough. There was so many words but none seemed to formulate into coherent sentences that could describe just how special Puck was to her or how amazing it was to have him in her corner when everything seemed so desperately hopeless. Taking care of someone with cancer, loving and supporting them was no easy feat but Noah Puckerman stepped in and he did just that. He had loved Rachel from afar for so long that now it just felt natural to look after her when she was in her most vulnerable state. He was there and she was fighting as hard as she possibly could.

Getting up from the bed she walked over to the window examining each and every photo slowly. "Do you think it's possible to love two people at the same time?" She asked. "Hypothetically speaking that is." She added, her hands were slightly shaky as they ghosted over the photo of Rachel with both Puck and Finn either side of her. They had been there for her through so much and now this was just another that both of them were going through alongside her. "I think it's possible but it's also complicated. Like do you love one more or less? Or is it equal or different? It's kind of confusing." He admitted while Rachel nodded and moved onto the next photo. "That's the funny thing, you can't compare loves and I don't think any two are the same. They all have different little aspects and quirks and you can't compare one to the other. It would be like trying to compare snowflakes in the midst of a winter storm, impossible. And some people.. they're just.. destined for more than one great love. Others.. they aren't so lucky but that doesn't mean that it won't ever happen for them." She was rambling but her mind had been on love a lot recently and she needed to get it all off of her chest. Puck was the only person who really seemed to understand her and understand that she needed to speak of the things that were on her mind. It helped her to make sense of everything and in a way it was helping him to get a better insight into the mind of the girl who was always so complex and rather closed off especially if she was scared or hurting in some way.

Eventually she sat down again, the silence that had overcome them was one of thoughtfulness and deep thinking as they processed everything that had been said. And for Rachel it was a necessity to sit down and try to relax before she fell down. "I hate this." She mumbled. As she laid down on her side Puck noticed the darkest bruises dotted along her spine and his breath hitched in his throat. "I hate it too, just rest though, Rach. I'll be here." He reassured her. Pulling her into his arms he pressed a kiss to the top of his head and breathed in her scent for a few moments. "Don't you have to go back to base?" She asked, she didn't want him to leave but she also knew that she couldn't keep him with her all the time either. He had training to attend and she had to deal with the fact that she would be alone for a lot of it. While she would miss him she understood that she couldn't make him stop things just for her. "Make me proud. Live for me." She mumbled as she slipped back into a restless sleep filled with pain filled groans.