Mulder ran until he felt nothing but the stinging in his legs and the objections to move any further from every muscle in his body. He had never gone this far, he didn't even know where he was. He needed to not only run the memory of Scully's dead body that invaded his nightmare, but now the image of her sitting naked in his bed, the confused and hurt look in her eyes. She would never forgive him, never understand the horrific images in his mind. Perhaps that's why he often found himself alone, the temporary company of a few office women on several lonely nights. It's why Diana left, it's why Phoebe took advantage of him. His mind was a sacred place that no one should ever have to subject themselves to discovering.
There was a nervousness as he returned to his apartment, would she still be there? His shoulders slumped in defeat, she probably ran out of there as fast as she could. He couldn't blame her.
The silence surrounding him was suddenly deafening. He cautiously made way to his bedroom, seeing the rumpled sheets in the wake of her leaving. The pictures began flashing through his brain again like snapshots. Scully was there, naked, covered in her own blood. There was a sense of her belonging to him, though he felt undeserving. Mulder broke away to the living room, calling Reggie in almost a panic. He had his profile.
Other agents on the case had already gathered in the conference room. Reggie knew a Mulder breakthrough when he heard one. He had called his partner, rambling on about having the profile wrong, he understood now who this person was. Reggie only hoped it hadn't cost him as it had before. When he saw Mulder's semi disheveled appearance, the dark circles under his eyes, he assumed the worst. There was a moment of panic running through Reggie as he remembered the other call he made that morning after speaking with Mulder. The hard clacking of heels caused Mulder to pause, turning to see the familiar blue eyes staring back at him.
Scully took in his appearance, he looked tired and restless. He was still on edge, that much she could sense by the way his shirt was slightly unbuttoned at the top, his sleeves rolled up before he even made it to the office. She wanted to slap him and comfort him all at the same time. And for that, she hated him just a little bit more.
"I -" His voice cut off, he had no words. He had planned to work through this case, then plead and beg at her feet if she ever allowed him near her again.
Reggie sensed the tension, he knew that whatever caused Mulder's breakthrough was hurting them both. "I thought I would call Dr. Scully since we have a break in the case."
"I'd like to help in any way I can." She maintained a professional demeanor, her words clipped and precise. Her eyes told a different story, which was why she was avoiding Mulder's burning gaze with all her willpower.
With a simple nod, Mulder excused himself to the front of the room to begin the briefing. His nervousness amplified, his thoughts were bouncing around sporadically. He took a deep breath after clearing his throat, he could feel all eyes on him, but he only cared about one person's. Meeting her gaze just before he began to speak, he only hoped he could convey the apology she deserved.
"I want to start by saying I was wrong with my original profile." He paused, rearranging the papers in front of him. "Originally, it seemed like he hated women, was doing this as some sort of misplaced rage. He actually loves these women, making them his and only his. He feels undeserving of their love, threatened by their power and their ability to hurt him by rejection. We need to look for any connection between these women. They all knew him in some way or another, there's a common pattern we need to find. Look for churches attended, friend circles, gyms, frequented restaurants. I need anything." He let out a deep breath as the other agents began jumping into action. They split up into teams and dispersed from the room, leaving only a few lingering agents with him and Scully.
Reggie gathered the remaining group before she could object, not wanting to deal with this right now. It was too soon, too raw. She wanted to do what she always did, throw herself into work. It was slow at the hospital, but that's where her excess energy would be spent. She couldn't go home yet, she couldn't face her mother, or her sister. She checked in on her father through a brief phone call in the morning, changing at the hospital and checking in on the workflow.
"Scully…" Suddenly he was next to her, causing her to jump at the sound of his voice, and the close proximity of his body. She could still feel him on top of her, under her. The memory of the night they shared fresh in her mind. She had hoped that was the only memory she had of their time together. "I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything, Mulder, I understand." Her face turned away from him even more, barely presenting him with her profile.
"No, you don't." His shoulders slumped, praying to whatever god was out there that she would just look at him. "I'm so sorry, and I don't have an explanation for my behavior. It's not something I ever wanted you to experience, it's a part of me that I never wanted you to see."
Confused, she turned to look at him, really look at him. There were tears brimming his eyes, threatening to escape. Whatever demons he was fighting were a lot stronger than she originally anticipated. In her mind, he left after he got what he wanted. She knew there was more to it, but couldn't understand the trigger that caused him to flee. She desperately hoped that he would come back and they could talk after he had time to clear his mind, but when Reggie called, she knew their talk would be delayed. She never thought they'd be having it in an open conference room in the middle of the Hoover building.
"Mulder, what the hell happened this morning?" He finally met her eyes. Her voice was low, but non-threatening. She sounded genuinely concerned and now he was the one confused.
"I don't know. When I profile, my mind becomes theirs. I - I saw...you." He turned to gesture towards the board of victims. She looked startled at his implication, the mangled bodies she'd seen firsthand jumping out at her like a revelation.
"Oh, Mulder…"
"I couldn't get it out of my mind. I couldn't look at you and not see that. I'm so sorry." He shook his head, closing his eyes to fight back the tears.
A gentle hand touched his face, leading him to jump back in surprise. Her eyes were soft, caring. This wasn't what he was expecting. He didn't deserve her.
Didn't deserve her. Too powerful. It repeated over and over in his head.
Mulder fell into a chair behind him, seeing the images of Scully dead in his mind. He thought he ran them out, thought he could wish them away. He could hear her calling out his name, attempting to break him from the trance he was in. If only she could truly break whatever this curse was that he seemed to be blessed with.
"Mulder, are you okay?"
"I don't know." He shook his head, the palms of his hands pressing heavily into his eyes. "I can't escape the images of you, like that." His voice was barely audible, scared of his own words.
"How long does this last?" She was desperately trying to hold onto any branch he was willing to throw her way. She wanted to understand, wanted to comfort him without indirectly causing his distress.
"Sometimes just until he's caught, sometimes the nightmares replay over and over in my mind." He sounded defeated and her heart broke for him.
"Mulder, look at me." His head shook, eyes closed again. "Please." She squatted in front of him to capture his full attention. "I might need some time, to figure out everything that happened. But I need you to know that I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here."
That was all she could promise, still feeling the pain from his distance earlier that morning. His work was important to him, and she understood that, but she needed to know how personal he would make each case with her beside him. She never wanted him to look at her the way he had that morning. For her own sanity, she needed some semblance of control in this relationship, or whatever it was.
He finally met her eyes, seeing the tenderness in her gaze masking the underlying fear. She was scared, but not of him. He didn't understand, yet he knew exactly what she was asking. Time, she needed time and space to fully comprehend the complexity of his mind and the person that he was. But she was giving him a chance, something no one else had ever taken the moment to do. Diana fled, Phoebe tossed him to the side, and others played on his vulnerability. Scully was different. She wanted to understand him, wanted to know how his mind worked and help him through the pain. That's what they did for each other, brought just a little light into the darkness that consumed their lives.
He didn't have words, thanking her with his eyes. She smiled gently at him, running a quick, tender hand over the top of his head before leaving. Mulder's shoulders slumped, he had never had a relationship like this and didn't know how to be receptive to someone else's genuine love. If he were any other man, he'd be groveling at her feet with flowers and begging her to forgive him. But he was Spooky Mulder, and he had a serial killer to catch. Flowers might be a good start though.
Scully made her way to the hospital, the exhaustion already creeping up on her. She was emotionally and physically spent, having not slept much the night before. A small smile crept on her face as she remembered why.
"Well, I know that smile." Terri startled her with a teasing grin on her face. "So tell me, was it as good as I imagine it would be."
"It's not what you think."
"Please, I haven't seen anything put a smile on your face like that since he first came into the hospital." Scully continued to change into scrubs to avoid the interrogation. This was exactly why she didn't go home first, though she'd take Terri's teasing over her mother's and sister's questioning eyes.
"I'm not discussing this with you."
"Fine, you're lucky we had an accident, keep us preoccupied until I can bug you later." Terri said before making her way to the emergency area. Scully let out a heavy sigh, preparing for the busy day she was about to have.
The emergency room was buzzing with victims of a 5 car pile up and their families. Most were minor injuries and broken bones, some required surgery and a few stitches. The events occupied most of her afternoon and evening, the hunger starting to affect her ability to stand on her feet. Grabbing a quick salad from the cafeteria, she made way to her office to partake in a moment of solitude.
She was surprised to see flowers sitting on her desk, a tilt of her head in suspicion as to who sent them. There was a card attached, she really hoped they weren't from Josh. She thought she made it clear to him who she was involved with.
'Thank you for being here. -M'
A wide, toothy smile broke out on her face. He was trying. She couldn't fathom how he had any kind of mindset to send her flowers in the middle of his mental breakthrough, but she was grateful that he had. They were beautiful, orange and deep red mixture of fiery flowers.
"I didn't get that with my burger." Terri's voice broke her from her moment of bliss.
"I always tell you to get a salad instead."
"I hate to cut your break short, but we have an interesting case that just came through." Terri's eyes changed, something darker seeping into her mind. "It's bad, Dana."
"What happened?" They began walking briskly towards the chaos as Terri filled her in.
"A woman woke up to someone in her bedroom. She had mind to call 911, and the dispatcher only heard her screaming. They traced the call to her location, and found her like this and brought her in immediately. She's cut everywhere, lost a lot of blood."
Scully ran ahead, the fresh images of the other crime scenes in her mind. Was she connected, how was this woman still alive? Maybe his careful carving was interrupted by the sound of police sirens approaching.
"My god." She ran alongside the gurney as they moved the unconscious woman to the operating room.
"Will you be scrubbing in Dr. Scully? I sure could use the extra hands." Dr. Edwards asked, she could see the horror in his face. She simply nodded, promising to be in soon. She needed to call Mulder.
Pick up, pick up, pick up.
"Mulder."
"Hey, it's me." She paused, knowing they were in a current limbo with their personal lives. He probably thought she was calling to thank him for the flowers, but now was not the time.
"Oh, hey Scully. Uh, what can I do for you?" She would smile at his nervousness if there wasn't a live victim on the operating table.
"There's a woman who was brought in that matches the others. Mulder, she's alive."
"I'll be right there."
"I'll be in surgery when you get here, just wait in my office. I'll meet you there as soon as I have any updates for you."
"Scully..."
"Yeah?"
"Thank you." His words had more meaning than just his thanks of her assistance. He meant it on another scale, one that she had yet to understand. She was healing his broken, abandoned soul.
Surgery lasted a lot longer than Scully expected, this poor woman was alive for the trauma and torture that she endured. Mulder must be going out of his mind waiting for details, she just wished she had more to give him. The surgery was similar to the autopsy she originally performed, though this time she was trying to save her. The woman's breast tissue was completely hacked off, there would be deep scars on her chest. It seems that this one fought a lot harder than the others, he only made a few deep gashes to her lower abdomen before his party was interrupted.
"Hey, sorry. It was a long surgery." She flashed him a tired smile as he stood from her desk chair with anticipation in his eyes. "It's the same guy, I'm sure of that."
"Was she awake when she came in?"
"No, she lost a lot of blood. It's a miracle she even made it through surgery. She's going to be monitored for a while to see if she pulls through. I'm sorry, Mulder. I wish I had more." There was a look of disappointment that flushed over her face, causing him to feel selfish. She was doing everything she could to help him through this, and she owed him nothing.
"I'm just glad she's okay. We'll figure it out when she wakes up. I have a team at the crime scene already, we put some things into motion right after you called." He stepped towards her, a gentle hand resting on her arm. "Thank you, for everything."
"I should be thanking you for my new desk decoration." Her eyes gestured towards the flowers, a shy smile present on his lips.
"It's my first step in a very large apology."
"You're doing pretty good so far." She felt her body lean into him automatically, being in his arms felt safe, despite their run in earlier in the morning.
"I should get back and recap with the team." They both let out a heavy sigh, knowing reality was waiting for them just outside the office doors. "We'll talk?" There was an undeniable hope at the end of his question.
"Later." She nodded in agreeance. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, playing with the new boundaries set between them. She smiled at his resistance, he was giving her the time she asked for.
Scully's evening was less adventurous after Mulder's case. The hours blurred and suddenly it was morning, just before it was time for her to leave. She wasn't exactly thrilled to be going to her parents' house, but she desperately wanted to check on her father. It was time for her to get her own apartment, the crowding more evident with visiting siblings scattered around. With Charlie finally coming in for the weekend, they would all be under the same roof again. A smile touched her lips, as insane as their family was, she was glad they could all come together when it mattered the most.
"Dana, you're home." Her mother greeted, surprised to see her.
"I do currently live here."
"I know, but you've been so busy at the hospital, I'm just glad you're here for a bit." Maggie smiled at her daughter, though there was a gleam of mischief in her eyes. She would never divulge that she sent Bill the night before to deliver dinner, and her youngest daughter was nowhere to be found, not even on the schedule for the evening.
"I wanted to check on Ahab." The nickname she used for her father was always something she held near and dear to her heart. The numerous readings of Moby Dick as a child resulted in the nicknames that they would later only call each other. She always had suspicions that her siblings were jealous of how close they were, but she prided herself in being the favorite.
"He's resting upstairs." Maggie smiled warmly, knowing Dana couldn't stay away long while her father was recovering. Wherever she was the other night, that would have to wait for an after dinner conversation. Maybe she would get Melissa to help her.
"Hey there, you managed to break free from the hospital?" Her father greeted her with a content smile bestowed on his face. Her doctor's eye told her that he looked a lot better, had more strength as he sat up in bed reading. She was taking in any other signs of distress and relaxed when she found none.
"I am done until this evening, it was a busy night and wrapping up my end of a case I was assisting on."
"A case? With the police?" Her father was suddenly more attentive, wondering what his beloved daughter had gotten herself into. She was safe at the hospital, saving lives like she was destined to do.
"No, with the FBI." Scully answered cautiously, her lips pursed in thought as to how much information she should divulge. "Do you remember Agent Mulder?"
"The man who was here, who worked Daniel's case." She nodded along with her father as they both remembered the breakfast that Maggie insisted on making a fuss over. William Scully knew his wife well enough to know it was a matchmaking meal of sorts, what he didn't know was that it apparently worked.
"Well, we...reconnected recently and he asked for my assistance with an autopsy."
"So you weren't out in the field or anything?"
"No, just doing the autopsy. But there was another victim who barely survived. I operated on her and handed over my findings. Until they need me again, I guess my part is done." She shrugged nonchalantly, hoping her father wasn't reading too much into her avoidance of the topic.
The FBI had shown interest in her while she was finishing her residency in med school. When she presented the idea to Daniel, he nearly laughed in her face and told her that's not what she was meant to do. He was already angry with her for switching to pathology, she didn't want to push him away further, though her interest was piqued. Working with Mulder satisfied a part of her that the hospital couldn't do. Sure, bandaging people up and having someone on her operating table was fulfilling, but it wasn't completely satisfying. She felt most at ease when they needed an autopsy and she felt as though she was doing some justice for the dead. She felt accomplished when her report findings helped bring someone in. It's something she knew her father would never understand, and disappointing him was not what she was setting out to do.
"How are you feeling?"
"Better every day." He smiled and accepted her change of subject. There was something else on her mind, that much he could sense. If he knew any of his children the best, it was Dana. No matter how hard she tried to suppress her feelings thinking she was benefiting everyone else, he could always read her. "Something else on your mind, Starbuck?"
"Hm? No, sorry. I guess I'm just more exhausted than I thought. I think I'm going to lay down for a bit." She placed a tender kiss on her father's cheek before making way to her room.
Scully plopped heavily on her bed, feeling the emotions of the last few days wash over her. She had a lot to think about, Mulder her main priority. He was right, that's not a way she ever wanted to see him, but it didn't frighten her as he imagined. She wanted to understand what was going through his mind, she wanted to comfort him and hold him until he believed that she was real and not going anywhere. There was trepidation in her mind of what other types of cases could do to him, but she wanted to be there to help him through them.
"Hello." She answered her phone flat toned, half awake and acting mindlessly as she roused from a short nap.
"Hey Scully, uh, bad time?" Mulder's voice on the other end caused her eyes to open fully, she was awake now.
"No, I was just resting." She cleared the sleep from her throat. "Did you need something?"
"Oh, I just wanted to let you know that we had a break in the case. I - uh, wanted to keep you informed." She smiled at his discomfort, she wanted to talk to him, too. There was no reason to call, and she had asked for space which he was desperately attempting to deliver.
"What happened?" Mulder could tell that she was giving him her attention, something he definitely felt he didn't warrant.
"When we interviewed her friends, they said she was complaining about some busboy at a local bar who repeatedly would attempt to pick her up. She refused each time he tried, and he would shout nonsensical things at her along the lines of 'you think you're perfect, that I don't deserve you.' Sound familiar yet?"
"It's getting there."
"Well, we went to the bar and interviewed the bouncers and bartenders. They recognized all of the other women and confirmed that they had been in several different nights. There's no connection between them other than the bar. We ran some credit card reports and they match."
"So we have the guy?" His heart swelled that she was including herself as part of the team. He wanted nothing more than to make her feel that she was just as essential as he saw her.
"We have a name. He didn't show up for his shift last night, and we've already been to his apartment. We are monitoring both sites, agents on stakeouts waiting for him to show up."
"More taxi drivers?" She teased, feeling the color rising in her cheeks in remembrance of their first meeting. Mulder grinned, leaning back against the seat of his car.
"Something like that. Though I don't think I'll be that lucky this time."
There was a silence that passed between them, establishing how they felt for one another without having to say the words. This was what they had become the best at. He understood that though she needed time to clear her mind about what happened, he was at the forefront of her thoughts. Scully knew that Mulder was going to give her anything she asked of him, she just needed to figure out what that was. Once she came to a conclusion, everything else fell into place. Suddenly Mulder was invited to dinner the following evening, knowing her mother would be cooking a feast with all her children under the same roof again.
"You're sure? I don't want to intrude, and I had a lot more on my apology tour." He was hesitant, now worrying that him not being able to restrain himself from calling her had pushed her towards something she wasn't ready for.
"I wouldn't invite you if I wasn't. My parents will be glad to see you again, and you can meet my brothers." She groaned, already visioning how that would play out. "Well, at least my sister likes you."
"That's really boosting the confidence here, Scully." She laughed in what felt like forever. He loved that sound, it's the only thing he ever wanted to make her do...smile. Images flooded his head of her wide, fearful and confused eyes earlier that morning. He shook them away, replacing them of the images of her smiling that thousand watt smile at him while she was pinned under his body. If there was a way to permanently have an image in his head, that would be it. Perhaps repeat performances boosted those graphics, he mused, smiling to himself.
"Please come, it will give you a lot of points off your apology."
"You're not going to make me work for it? I had things planned."
"Oh trust me, you're not off that easily." She teased back, no anger or fear lingering under her words.
"I'd love to."
"Perfect, I will follow up with you tomorrow with a time. I should be heading back downstairs." She sighed, now realizing that talking to him was the only thing she really wanted to do. She understood who he was, and why he did the things he did, but there was a darker part of him that she hoped to bring to the light.
Scully parted ways with Mulder, mustering up the energy to face her mother's questioning gaze and her sister's unfiltered mouth. Her brother Bill was much more the subtle type, until he had an opinion on the matter. She was almost glad Charlie wasn't here yet, she could handle him alone.
When Mulder arrived the following day for dinner, he was suddenly filled with new nerves he's never really experienced before. Though married, he only met Diana's family at the wedding itself. She never forced him to participate in vacations or visits, and he didn't offer. He was so overjoyed that Scully was even talking to him, his answer was immediate. He couldn't let her down, not again.
"Planning to stand there all night?" He jolted from his thoughts, realizing that he managed to get from the car to the door, but made no further move. Her eyes were welcoming, the smile on her lips reaching her gaze.
"Sorry, I - uh, it's good to see you." Remembering the flowers in his hand, he thrusted them towards him like an awkward teenager coming to pick up his date for prom. She laughed at his nervousness, appreciating the sentiment and understanding that this was a step for them both.
"Thank you, Mulder. I'm going to run out of vases if you keep bringing me flowers." She sniffed them, the aroma awakening her senses. He smiled coyly, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on her cheek.
Her face reddened immediately as she bit her lip to mask the smirk growing. This was going to be an interesting evening, especially if he remained as attentive as he was.
"You remember Melissa." She introduced as they passed through the living the room. "That's my younger brother, Charlie." Mulder shook his hand, making casual pleasantries. Luckily they were the only ones who saw the small display of affection. "This is my brother, Bill."
The taller man squared him up, looking him over as he straightened into his big brother stance. Mulder couldn't blame him, he didn't feel he deserved to be here either. He extended his hand in greeting, hoping to convey peace to the other man. Before Bill could make a comment, his father's hand clasped him on the back in a silent plea to back down.
"Agent Mulder, it's nice to see you again." William Scully took the offered hand Mulder dumbly remained holding out.
"Thank you for having me for dinner. How are you feeling, sir?" Bill was shocked that this stranger knew his father, let alone enough insight as to what was going on in their family. Dana glared at her brother before proceeding in the kitchen and smiling at her father as she passed. It was a thank you for making Mulder feel included, that much he knew.
"I'm slow moving, but I've got a good home care doctor." He winked at Scully and Mulder grinned, nodding in agreement. He remembered how attentive Scully was when he was recovering. Her cheeks pinked further, her family not knowing that she spent a majority of her pastime with him.
"Fox, it's nice of you to join us." Maggie made her way from the kitchen, wiping her hands with a towel before hugging him in greeting. He was taken back by the action. Affection was not something he was used to receiving.
"I really should thank you for having me."
"You're just in time, everything's just about ready." She smiled warmly at him, a knowing look in her eyes as she met her daughter's gaze.
They all set around the table, Mulder feeling uncomfortable in seating arrangements. Scully took her seat across from her sister, next to Charlie. Her parents on both ends of the table. Bill was seated next to Melissa. There was an open seat next to Scully, and another next to Melissa. He stood hesitantly as everyone settled in, finally seating himself between Scully and her mother. He felt a tender hand rest on his knee, giving it a light squeeze for reassurance. He turned and smiled at her, resting his hand over hers for a moment.
"So, Mulder, what kind of conspiracies are really going on over at the bureau?" Charlie asked, keeping the conversation lively. Mulder grinned as Scully rolled her eyes, shaking her head. She should have known these two would get along.
"Unfortunately I work in Violent Crimes, it's not exactly dinner conversation. But I've heard some stories from some other units." He chuckled at Charlie's over enthusiastic look of excitement.
"Violent Crimes?" Bill asked, slightly shocked. "How'd you meet Dana?" They both met eyes instantly, him asking how much of her situation she divulged to her family. He knew her parents were made aware of Daniel's crimes, but he didn't know if that extended to the family. She nodded as he silently asked whether or not she wanted to take this questioning. Her father watched this little play by play happen as they conversed without words.
"He - uh, he was handling Daniel's case." She cleared her throat. "I know I haven't discussed all the details because it's technically still active, but Daniel's actions fell within the jurisdiction of Violent Crimes. Mulder was very helpful through it all." She smiled at him as he took her hand again under the table.
Scully could feel all eyes on her, knowing that even her parents had more questions when it came to Daniel. All she had told them was that he was related to the murders and rapes happening, but hadn't disclosed the gruesome details of the bodies. Those details weren't even released to the public.
"Dana, why didn't you tell us?" Bill was suddenly angry that she chose to keep this information from her family, but chose to confide in this man that no one knew that well. He could see the strong connection between them, and he didn't like it.
"I couldn't talk about a lot of it, I still can't. It's a part of my past that I'm not proud of and that I am trying desperately to move on from, but -" Now Mulder furrowed his brow, not able to guess what was to follow. It was nothing he would have expected. "I was served yesterday and have to appear in court as a character witness for the plaintiff."
"What?" She winced as the word was repeated around her. Her mother and father were both wide-eyed, and she could feel Mulder's hand tighten around hers. He didn't want her anywhere near this.
"They hadn't contacted me before, but with his outburst in the holding cell, they must have assumed there were others similar to that occurrence." She shrugged off the accusatory stares, knowing each of them had more questions.
"When?" Mulder's voice lowered so that only she could hear him. She leaned in closer, their faces only inches apart.
"In two weeks. I meant to tell you, but things yesterday were -"
"I'm sorry." She shook her head as she leaned back to her space. Her family had already chose to move on with the conversation, discussing Charlie's work and Melissa's travels. They would discuss this with her later.
The evening went smoother as the conversation remained light. She was able to enjoy her time, and cherished that Mulder fit in so well with her family. Bill would need some convincing, but that wasn't anything new. Her father and mother took a liking to Mulder right away, something she wasn't accustomed to. They had protested every step of the way when she was involved with Daniel, and before that, her college boyfriend was never invited for dinner. There wasn't a reason she kept that part of her life private, but with Mulder it was different. They had met on such different circumstances, she was practically forced to accept him into her life. Not that she was objecting, she actually appreciated how well he got along with them.
"We should be heading up to bed, it's been a lot of activity for one day." Maggie announced after finishing in the kitchen. She insisted that everyone enjoy dessert in the living room while she cleaned up. "Fox, I do hope we'll see you soon." She hugged him again, the action not ever feeling common for him.
"I hope so, too." He nodded respectively towards William, taking his offered hand. He remained authoritative in stance, though soft around the eyes. Mulder relaxed as a slight smile crossed his face.
"Do you want to go outside for a bit?" Scully was standing next to him, looking up at him expectantly. There would be no privacy with the entire Scully clan present, and she wanted to speak with him alone. He nodded as she led him towards the front porch where there was a chair fit snuggly for two. She cuddled into his side as he wrapped the blanket around them.
"Thank you for coming, I know we can be a lot."
"It was actually fun. I've never had a large family."
"They liked you." Her voice was suddenly soft, not knowing if he would hear her assurance.
"I'm glad." She sighed as he understood. This was part of her thinking process, part of her forgiving him. He kissed the top of her head, not wanting to push any further. He was still giving her the space and time she asked for. "Though I think I need to work on Bill."
"He's always been a hard ass." She snorted in response. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about court."
"No, you're right. Yesterday was - I don't even know. A lot happened."
"They found me at the hospital, so Daniel knows I'm here now. I didn't want my parents bothered, so everything was put in the hospital address."
"That was probably smart, there's no knowing what kind of connections he has. You're safe at work." She bit her lip, he cared so deeply about her.
"You worried about me?" She lightly bumped his shoulder, a teasing tone to her words.
"Yes." He was completely sober, no hesitation in his response. He was worried about everything that he dragged her into, asking her to work on one of his cases while they were becoming closer. It was his own fault he couldn't separate his life and keep her away from the darkness that consumed his mind. Being with her in a casual setting had helped, she had more power to keep the demons away than anyone had had before. Perhaps it was because she genuinely cared about him. At least he hoped she still did.
"Mulder -"
"I know you asked for time to think, but I need you to know that I think I'm falling in love with you." He blurted, so lost in his own thoughts. It wasn't his intention, to bombard her with his feelings, but he couldn't control them. They were so jumbled in his mind with everything else, he needed to free the emotions.
She didn't react, she couldn't. Her entire self was frozen to the core. What had he just said? She must have heard him wrong. Just yesterday morning he couldn't even look at her after they slept together, and now he loved her? She didn't know what scared her more - the fact that he was putting these sentiments out in the universe, or the fact that she was starting to feel the same way.
There was still so much to learn about each other, she wanted him to open up to her. Mentally scoffing, that's exactly what she has heard from several boyfriends along the years about herself. She was always closed off, remained in her tight little bubble. It's how she prospered, though it was a rather lonely road. With Mulder it felt different, it felt...safe.
Finally regaining her composure, she made one quick move to turn her face towards him and wrap her hand behind his neck, pulling his head to her until their lips met. He was startled by the move, no doubt expecting her to flee. She was wondering herself why she wasn't running in the opposite direction. Regardless of what had happened before, this felt right. If she had to hold him and love him until all the darkness in his mind ran away to hide in the shadows, then that's what she would do.
"Scully -" He pulled back, needing to catch his breath. He wasn't anticipating the move, but he was damn glad. "I hope that's a positive response." She huffed a breathy chuckle, snuggling back into his embrace.
"I thought you were supposed to be good at putting the pieces together."
"I'm afraid to jump to conclusions here, Scully. I don't want to get my hopes up."
"I'd say your chances are pretty good." She teased, her eyes gleaming at him. "I do need a favor from you though." Her words became serious and she could read the trepidation in his gaze.
"Anything."
"I want you to let me in, when you're having a bad day on a case." Her hand halted his protests. "I know you have your ways of dealing with this, but I want to be part of that. If you need someone to talk it through with, or just need, need someone to comfort you...I want to be that person. I wanted to wait for you after you left in such a hurry. I wanted to talk, but I didn't know if I'd be welcome, and then Reggie called..." Her voice trailed off, realizing the commitment she was indirectly making.
"I couldn't subject you to what goes through my mind."
"You can't protect me from what's going on in the world, Mulder."
"No, but I can protect you from me." He was completely serious. Her brow furrowed in confusion, mouth agape as if to object. "You saw what happens when I enter the minds of these criminals. I become them, and I'm not exactly good company while I'm working a case. You shouldn't have to deal with that, you deserve better."
"I think I can determine what I deserve, and what I want." He was startled by her words, no one has ever fought this hard to have him in their lives. Not even his own family.
"You really mean that, don't you?" His entire body was facing her now, needing to read every emotion in her eyes. He needed to see the truth.
She smiled, moving forward to brush a chaste kiss on his lips before resting her forehead against his. He could feel the nod against his head, leaning towards her to capture her mouth with his own.
"I think you're getting it now." She teased when they reluctantly broke apart. Her cheeks tinged with color as the moment of remembrance came over her that they were making out like teenagers on the front porch of her parents' house.
"I just - I never imagined to have someone like you in my life."
"You really need to give yourself some more credit, Mulder." She placed another quick peck on his lips before separating from him further. "I should probably get back inside before they make up their own ideas about what's going on out here." She sighed, knowing at least one of her siblings was keeping watch.
"We could always give them something to talk about." He wagged his eyebrows at her, causing an eye roll in response.
"Go!" She shoved as she stood, him following the motion. "I'll see you soon?" There was a hopeful look in her eyes as she stepped into his arms. She realized they hadn't exactly established what they were, just that they cared deeply for one another. More than she had ever felt about anyone, but she didn't know if she was ready to admit that.
"Oh, uh, about that." Suddenly she was nervous and her eyebrow rose at his unease. "Well, we - I took a case out of town. I thought it would be a good idea to get away from everything and clear my head with a different case that you weren't involved in. That was before you invited me to dinner. I'm sorry, if I -" He was rambling, apologizing for something she didn't feel warranted an explanation. She understood, and wanted him to know that.
Her lips cut off his mumbled words and he relaxed into her touch. "It's okay, I understand."
"I'll miss you." The words escaped in a hushed whisper. She smiled and bit her lip.
"I will, too."
"Um, maybe you can feed my fish while I'm gone. It should only be a few days, a week tops." He was digging in his pocket and handed her a single key. "And, uh, feel free to stay there anytime you want."
Her eyes widened in response. He could feel her stiffen under his arms, pulling her in tighter towards him. This wasn't even on his radar of conversation topics for the evening, but it had been at the forefront of his mind since he accidentally proclaimed his love for her. When she cared for him and spent her evenings at his apartment, he never wanted her to leave.
"Th - thank you."
"Scully?"
"Yeah?"
He leaned down and kissed her, every emotion he wanted to convey was present in his kiss. She melted into his embrace, her arms slowly wrapping around his neck as he held her tenderly. There were a million things running through both of their minds, neither knowing how to handle this new situation. He groaned into her mouth at the incessantly ringing phone in his pocket.
"Mulder." He grumbled, frowning at the interruption. She chuckled at the sad puppy look on his face.
"Hey man, we caught him. He was on his way out of town, but we got him at the train station. They're bringing him in, but it's him." Reggie filled Mulder in on the details of the bust.
"That's great. Do you, uh, need me tonight?"
"Nah, we're briefing tomorrow at 9:00am. I'll see you then." Mulder felt the weight lift off his shoulders as he exhaled for the first time since this case started.
"They got him."
"It's over?"
"Yes, partially thanks to you."
"We make a pretty good team." The smirk appeared on her face, the double entendre not going unnoticed.
He matched the flirtatious expression on her face, winking as he whispered in her ear. "I can think of a few other things we're good at together."