I don't own anything but my plot and OC's.

Chapter 5

When I awoke the next morning, full of heat and warmth, scarcely able to breath, I panicked and as quick as I could through off the large arms around me, away from the large body. I stood up gasping for breath with eyes frantic I'm sure as I looked around the room until I looked at Paul's sleeping form. He didn't move for several seconds but eventually sat up just as quickly as I if not more and looked around and locked eyes with me.

"What are you still doing here?" I ask not knowing what else to say.

"You fell asleep in my arms and I didn't want to move you, you looked so peaceful. Are you okay?" He asked the last question with a face full of concern and even though he didn't say it, I knew what he was talking about.

"Yeah, I got some bad news but I'm okay now."

He didn't look convinced but seemed to give it up and an awkward silence filled the air until I said, "You should leave now."

He looked sad at the mention of leaving but said anyways, "Okay but I have something for you."

He brightened up as he said he had something for me and turned around, fetching up the plastic bag off the floor and handing it to me. It was heavy but not too heavy, that much I could tell as I held it in my hands and opened it up. Candy. Fuzzy Peaches to be exact were inside and just one large package but, one, two three… TEN. Ten in total. I felt a grin stretch across my face as I looked up at him and in turn a smile lighted his up. I felt so happy and light, like I was floating in the air and I never wanted to let go of it, I never wanted to let go of Paul. What am thinking? What's happening to me? I can't like him.

"I'm sorry about eating you're candy, you're right it was wrong and I hope this makes up for it." He says.

"It does, and thank you." I say quickly, my mouth no longer in a smile yet the feeling remains, but it can't, how could it?

Before anymore words are exchanged I walked past him, down the hall, and into the bathroom where luckily by bag still stays. I take a quick shower and pull on some black skinny jeans, a white Hanson shirt, and some long white socks. I head back out to the living room and kitchen which are connected and stop dead in my tracks as I notice Paul still here, sitting in a chair in the kitchen. He stands up as I walk in and smiles.

"What are you still doing here?" I ask.

"I was hoping you would want to get some food at the diner with me. As friends of course." He quickly adds.

A raise an eyebrow at that and almost say no when Carly pops up in my mind. I should eat or at the very least so Carly doesn't worry but I can eat here, I don't have to go with him. Even as I think these things I know that I won't say no because I don't want Paul to leave, I don't want him to leave me.

No. Serena, you can't think these things, Paul is a friend and nothing more, so stop. And that's what I do, I stop thinking of those things and I ignore my feelings, grant you, it's hard but I've had practice. So I went with him and we got food, and I smiled, a lot. After, we went to the beach and even though it was too cold out we still sat on the beach and watched the water in complete silence. It was peaceful and I could have stayed like that forever but I didn't because I can't. Life goes on but death does not.

There are so many things to think about and consider but I've decided to ignore them, and just live. As much as I love Carly and her company, I want to spend every last second I have of life with Paul. No matter all the details there are, I just want to live, with him beside me, forever. I sometimes thought there was a forever when I was really young but I realized that there isn't for everyone and now I realize there even isn't one for me. Being with Paul, it feels like there could be, that there is, and that I am not alone in the path with life or death. But this is a dream that will last only three months, maybe four and then I will wake up, we all will and I will be taking the path of death, life will leave me, only death remain.

I will do my best to forget and to live.

"So, why exactly did you come here to see Carly?" Asked Paul after the waitress took our orders.

"My, my birth mother, Gina, died and I just needed to get away, besides I haven't seen Carly in a long time." I answer almost truthfully.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. What about your father?"

"Which one?"

"What do you mean?" He asks confused.

"I have two, my birth father and my dad." Was my reply.

"I guess, both."

I took a sip of the ice filled water in front of me and said, "Never met my birth father and I don't like talking about him. My dad raised me alone after my adoptive mother passed until I was sixteen when he died. That's where Gina came in. She took me in so I didn't have to go to foster care and we had a semi decent relationship."

"Wow." Was his only answer.

"What about you? What about your family?"

He tensed up but answered, "My parents divorced, my mother moved away and I live with my father."

"Oh." I say before changing the topic since he seems upset. "What kind of music do you listen to? What kind?"

He visibly relaxes and smiles as he says, "Rap and hip hop."

"That music is really bad."

"What? No it isn't."

"Yes it is." I argue back.

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't."

"Yes, it is, very bad."

"Well what would you recommend then?" He asks a little obnoxiously.

"90's, by far, the best era in music." I answer back just as obnoxiously.

"You can't compare Rap and"-

"Here is your food." interrupts the waitress as she puts down all the food Paul ordered, which is three burgers and threes fries then my food which is a small cheese pizza. It's looking pretty small compared to Paul's food but in my eyes it is a lot. The last time I ate was about two days ago and yet the sight of food makes me want to throw up but I force it down, thinking about Carly and not just me.

Once we are done eating and Paul Paid we decide to go to the beach for a while which is something I actually want to do. It was afternoon I realized as we drove to first beach and Carly would be done school in less than an hour but I'm sure Seth will be there to keep her company.

No else is around on the beach, probably because its chilly out but I have my jacket and Paul, well, he's always warm. We sat down in the middle of the beach or very close and yet it was silent. Neither of us tried to start a conversation, me because I liked the silence and peacefulness in the air, but Paul I was not sure and yet it was serenity.

We stayed for a few hours, until the sun was fading away from the clear, colorful sky and away from us. We were going to leave soon but there is something I have to say, so I reach out and grab Paul's burning hand in mine and turn to him. I don't say anything but it's like no words have to be spoken because we just know what the other is thinking and what I am thinking is that I want to spend every moment I can with Paul until the very end.

He squeezed my hand and I knew he knew in some way what I was trying to say, even though I couldn't say it.