[trigger warning: panic attacks, disassociation references]

It was late when Yusei and Bruno finally got back, and Bruno was so tired that he passed out immediately. Yusei, however, didn't seem like he was able to sleep. Despite the circles darkening under his eyes, he kept finding reasons to walk around, pick something up, tidy up a pile of clutter, wipe at some permanent stain on the counter. His nervous movements were enough to keep Judai in the kitchen, perched on the edge of his chair and watching Yusei walk around. He wouldn't have been able to sleep, either, but Yusei's constant movement gave him an excuse.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

Yusei shrugged, still rubbing at the counter with a rag. Judai wasn't sure if he should mention that he was using the greasy rag used to clean the motorcycles, and was probably doing more harm than good.

Judai sighed, sliding his elbows across the table and resting his chin on top of his arms. He just watched Yusei for a few moments, the way that his shoulders moved as he rubbed the rag in circles. He felt an odd heat rising in his cheeks and dropped his eyes to the table.

Yusei had explained what had happened at Security, with Sherry and Bruno; he had explained the WRGP, the androids called Ghosts that had been striking out at various places, the hints of something new stirring in the background of Neo Domino,and his attempts to reach this faraway summon beyond speed, the mysterious Accel Synchro shown to him by someone he didn't know. It looked like the world was in trouble again...fine time for Judai to show up.

Although...maybe it was why he had shown up.

"Yusei...you're not going to clean that off, you know."

Yusei just shrugged. Judai hesitated. The thing was...he didn't really know Yusei, did he? They had only met once. What kind of guy was he? They hadn't talked too much since he had gotten here. Judai had ended up talking to Lua and Luka and Aki more. Sure, they had told him quite about bit about Yusei, about where he had come from, about the Dark Signers and what had happened in this city, about what he had accomplished.

"Are you...worried?"

Yusei hesitated, pausing in the middle of his movements.

"Yeah," he said. "I just...something about that...thing. That thing that we saw. It..."

He shuddered slightly. Judai sat up, frowning. He waited, not wanting to push Yusei too much.

"You ever hear the phrase, 'it's like someone walking over your grave?'" Yusei asked.

"Yeah," Judai said. "I've heard that one."

"That's what it felt like. When he looked at me. Like something...yeah."

He shuddered again. Judai blinked.

"You said...he. How did you know it was a he?"

Yusei looked up. His mouth parted slightly, eyes unfocusing. When he came back, he looked at Judai with a frown, the quiet, subdued expression just barely crinkling his forehead.

"Why...why did I say that?" he said.

He looked pale, Judai realized.

"You should sleep," said Judai. "We're not going to get any answers tonight. You look like you're going to pass out."

He was starting to shake a little bit from how tired he was. Judai scootched out of his chair and put a steadying hand on Yusei's shoulder.

"Come on, speed racer," he said. "Time to sleep."

Yusei sighed, but did not protest as Judai guided him up the stairs to his room. Jack and Crow were already passed out, and didn't stir as Yusei settled on to his bed.

"You should sleep too," he murmured.

"Yeah, I will," Judai said. "No worries."

He squeezed Yusei's shoulder.

"See ya in the morning."

"Yeah. Good night."

Judai waited at the door to make sure that Yusei did in fact settle down on to the bed before he flitted down to his own room.

He wasn't going to sleep. He knew he wouldn't be able to. He could already feel the nightmares clawing at him, the darkness swirling around him. He shuddered.

Well...he'd have to try, he guessed...

. . .

Yusei awoke to a loud thump. He groaned, blinking through sleep, his throat feeling dry and disgusting. What...?

He rolled over, squinting at the clock. It was like 5:30. What had that sound been? Had he imagined it?

He heard Jack grunting and shifting two beds over.

"The fuck was that," he muttered.

Yusei hadn't imagined it then, if it had woken Jack too. He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. Then he sat up, rubbing at his eyes. Jack was half sitting up, too.

"Where'd that come from...?" Yusei said.

"The guest room, I think..." Jack said.

Yusei frowned. Where Judai was staying?

"I'll go check...you go back to sleep."

Jack didn't protest, falling back against the pillow without another word. Yusei sighed. He slid his feet to the floor, wincing at the cold that filtered even through his socks. He shoved his hands under his armpits; despite the heat of this summer, it was damn cold in the mornings.

Yawning, he shuffled down towards the guest room.

"Judai...?" he called softly. "Everything okay?"

The door was closed, and he hesitated with his hand over the knob. Maybe it had been nothing. Just him hitting the wall in his sleep or something. He didn't want to disturb him...

And then he heard the heavy panting on the other side of the door, the strange gasps for breath. He grabbed the handle and practically threw the door open, eyes raking the room—the bed was empty, the covers half thrown off the bed, where was Judai—

There. Yusei hesitated again, uncertain.

Judai had pulled himself into the corner, gripping his head in his hands, face pressed into his knees, shoulders trembling. He was gasping for breath, muttering into his knees, shaking so badly that he looked like he would fall apart.

"Judai? Judai!"

Yusei crossed the room, but Judai didn't even respond. His heart jumped in his chest. What was wrong? What happened? Was he okay?

"Judai?" Yusei said softly. "Judai. What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Judai drew in a shaky breath. Yusei could hear what he was muttering now.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, oh god, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to, I didn't want to, I—please, no, no, no, no, no—"

"Judai," Yusei said again, more firmly. "Judai. Breathe."

He didn't know what was going on, but he knew enough to recognize a panic attack when he saw one. He touched Judai's knee gently. Judai flinched, head snapped up. Yusei sucked in a breath. Judai's eyes were wide and terrified, which was to be expected.

What was not to be expected was the fact that the deep brown had faded into a flat gold.

Was—was he even looking at Judai? Was he possessed? What was going on?

"Judai," Yusei said again. "I'm here. It's okay. Breathe."

Judai's mouth was open, panting for breath. Cold sweat matted his hair to his face.

"I didn't—I didn't want to," he muttered. "I'm sorry. Shou, I'm so sorry, everyone, please..."

"Sh, sh..." Yusei said, moving his hand to Judai's forehead, brushing the bangs aside. "You're not there. It's not real. What can you see? Count the things you can see."

Judai swallowed, still shaking.

"They won't stop screaming," he whispered. "Oh god, they won't stop screaming. I'm sorry. I didn't—I'm sorry, I hurt them, I hurt so many people—"

"Sh...sh...you're not there. You're not there."

Yusei had no idea where "there" was, but he had a feeling Judai was having some kind of post traumatic hallucination.

"Tell me what you can feel. Can you hear my voice? Just pay attention to my voice."

Judai swallowed a few more breaths. He nodded.

"Good. Just keep listening to me. Can you see my hand?"

He held his hand up by his face. Judai nodded.

"Good. My hand is real. Can you count the fingers? Breathe while you count."

Judai sucked in a deep breath, his eyes flicking from finger to finger.

"Five," he said, his voice sounding a little calmer. "Five fingers."

"Great," Yusei said, squeezing Judai's shoulder with his other hand, gently. "That was great. Do you know where you are?"

"In the guest room. At your place."

"Right. Are you still breathing deeply?"

Judai nodded. And even as Yusei watched, those flat golden eyes deepened in color, melting back to a deep, deep brown. He closed his eyes for a moment, sucking in a deep breath.

"I'm back," he said. "I'm back."

Yusei squeezed his shoulder again.

"How do you feel?"

"Like I just ran a full marathon."

Yusei smiled, but it was a shaky smile of relief. He hadn't realized until just now that hewas shaking too. His heart was pounding in his chest—it was a wonder he had been able to remain so calm at all.

"Do you want me to get you some water?"

Judai's hand clamped down onto Yusei's, his eyes widening again for a moment. Then he swallowed and closed his eyes, releasing Yusei's hand.

"S-sorry," he said. "I...can you just sit there for a second? Still calming down."

"Of course."

Yusei shifted so he was sitting instead of kneeling, grimacing when his knees cracked. Judai leaned his head against a wall for a moment, just breathing. Yusei didn't speak. It was best to let him calm down; there wasn't anything to say for now.

When Judai finally opened his eyes again, he looked much better.

"I...I think I'm okay, now."

He shifted as though to stand up.

"Can you stand?" Yusei said, frowning.

"Yeah...I heal up a lot faster than normal people. I'm still tired but my legs should hold."

Yusei stood up himself, offering Judai a hand. Judai smiled gratefully, letting Yusei guide him to his feet.

"Are you okay?" Yusei asked.

"As much as usual, I guess."

Yusei didn't let go of Judai's arm, in case he got dizzy again.

"I could probably go for some water now," said Judai.

"Let's take it slow."

They made their way downstairs, slowly, one step at a time. Yusei kept a firm grip on Judai's arm, afraid that he might fall over. However, Judai's movements did seem to get stronger as they moved, and by the time they reached the bottom of the stairs he seemed able to walk by himself.

He still sunk into a chair with a sigh as Yusei moved to fill a glass of water. Judai accepted the water with a grateful smile, downing half of it at once.

"Whew," he said. "It's...been a while since I had one this bad."

"Do these happen a lot?"

"Every so often...they're usually just me disassociating for like half a minute or so. Sometimes I have full on panic attacks, but they're usually not as bad as that one."

He ducked his head.

"Sorry you had to see that."

"You don't have to apologize," Yusei said, sitting down next to Judai and touching his arm gently. "You can't control that."

Judai sipped at his water, looking a little embarrassed.

"I've had panic attacks before. I know what they're like. A lot of people I knew in Satellite had them. You're not wrong or bad for having them, Judai. It's not something you can control."

Judai finished the water, still looking a little red.

"Yeah, I guess..." he said. "...thanks."

Yusei squeezed his arm, smiling.

The sun was starting to rise, and Yusei could see the light filtering through the door.

"What were you planning on doing today?" he asked. "Do you need me to get you anything?"

"Nah, you're fine," Judai said. "I'm...probably gonna go for a walk. I mean, I always hate the possibility of having another attack out in public but...being cooped up sometimes makes it worse too."

He hesitated, staring at the bottom of glass in his hand for a moment. Yusei bit his lip.

"Do you...want me to come with you?"

Judai blinked. He glanced up at Yusei.

"Don't you have—engine stuff to do?" he said. "I mean—augh that sounded like I was saying I don't want you to come. I wouldn't mind that. I mean, it would be nice. But I don't wanna—I don't want to distract you or anything and pull you away from work or whatever, don't wanna bother you—"

Yusei shrugged.

"I don't mind," he said. "Bruno won't be awake for another hour and a half."

Judai's cheeks went a little red for a moment. Then it faded.

"Well...if you want to come. Sure. I mean...you know the place better than I do. You can keep me from getting lost."

He laughed a little at that, but it sounded awkward. Yusei had to smile.

"I do want to come, if you're all right with that."

Judai met Yusei's eyes. Then he grinned.

. . .

After a bit of discussion, they decided to take Yusei's D-Wheel up to the bluff. It was the quietest place in the city, Yusei had explained, and might be the most relaxing. From there Yusei could show him most of the city's layout anyway, if he wanted to take another walk later, so that he wouldn't get as lost.

"So should I be worried about this thing taking us to ancient Babylon by accident?" Judai said, as Yusei was getting on to the D-Wheel and pulling his helmet on.

Yusei laughed—he didn't do that a whole lot, but Judai was starting to like it. It was a soft, sort of restrained sound that nonetheless felt so joyful.

"Not to worry; I don't know how to make it go through time," Yusei said. "Usually it keeps its wheels right here in this part of the twenty first century."

Judai grinned as Yusei tossed him a helmet. He fit it over his hair and then slid onto the bike behind Yusei.

"You'll want to hang on," Yusei said over his shoulder.

He started up the bike and Judai awkwardly slid his arms around Yusei's torso. Last time he had ridden this thing he hadn't really thought about it; they werefleeing the end of time itself, after all. But now, in the quiet of Yusei's garage, without any world-threatening danger to be occupied by, he found that he actually was a little embarrassed about holding on to Yusei like this.

But then he stopped thinking as much about it, because the D-Wheel took off from the garage and he had to grip tighter before he went flying off the back.

D-Wheels were pretty quiet, he realized, as they zoomed up out of the square and made their way into the lazy early morning traffic. He had ridden motorcycles before, and they all made these really loud noises when they started up, and while they were driving. The D-Wheel, though, was as smooth and quiet as a car. He barely even felt the bumps in the road.

Wind blasted across them, buffeting against Judai's shoulders. He was glad of the helmet, then, because it was keeping his hair from blowing all over his eyes. He didn't want to have to deal with his vision impaired, because this was too amazing not to watch.

The world zoomed past them, a blur of lights and early morning mist. The lights of cars twinkled on highways below them, they themselves riding along on a raised set of highways. There was a network of the roads winding all atop the city, but most of them were blocked off.

Duel Lane,he read on the sign above one of them. They have an entire road network for dueling?

Excitement bubbled in his stomach. The whole city spread out before them, a masterpiece of steel and glass that glittered in the early morning light as though it were made of crystal. He was suddenly very glad that he hadn't locked himself up back at the house all day like he had considered. This was perfect. Glorious. He could ride like this all day with the wind in his face and the world blurring around him in a glorious stream of colors, and the sturdy bulk of Yusei in front of him—

He scratched that last thought, feeling a blush spread across his cheeks. What the hell, brain?

Finally, Yusei turned off into a street to the left, which let them down to the lower road and then sent them back up a hill, the road turning from concrete to bricks as they zipped up to the top. Yusei brought the D-Wheel to a smooth stop.

"Here we are," he said, pulling off his helmet.

Judai tried not to think about the fact that he was having a hard time looking away from how Yusei shook his hair out of his face when he removed the helmet. He, too, slipped off his helmet and hopped off of the bike.

It was pretty quiet up here, he thought.

A railing spread across the drop off, looking over the whole of the city. Mist hung low, clinging to the buildings, making the ethereal look of the place even more mysterious and beautiful. The sun was rising behind them, sending the rays across the city like diamonds. Tree rustled behind them as well, heavy with dew that dripped onto the cobblestones.

It was a chilly morning, but Judai could feel the heat and humidity of the day coming in. Maybe it was a good thing he had decided to go out early instead of later. It was going to be a hot one.

Yusei crossed over to the railing and leaning against it. Judai followed suit, the pair sitting at the edge and staring silently at the city.

"I come here a lot," Yusei said. "It's...peaceful."

Judai nodded.

"It really is."

He paused.

"Thanks for sharing it with me."

Yusei smiled, but did only nodded. Again, the silence fell between them, just the twitter of birds breaking the quiet. Judai didn't feel like he needed to speak. He just had to sit there, in the quiet, letting the cool morning air tickle at his skin, listening to the wind rustle the leaves and the flutter of birds wings as they took off into the sky. Just had to stand there beside the quiet, reassuring form of Yusei.

Because he was reassuring. Just...everything about him, the quiet, calm way that he spoke, how he never seemed to get too worked up, how gentle and compassionate he was, the very presence that he exuded that was one of kindness and security. Judai didn't feel embarrassed anymore to think that way. It was what Yusei was. And he liked it.

"Thanks," Judai said again. "For...this. And for taking care of me this morning."

Yusei smiled.

"It's never a problem," he said. "Because we're friends, aren't we?"

"Yeah. We are, aren't we?"

They looked at each other. They smiled.

Neither of them quite noticed how their hands, dangling over the railing, had slid across so that their pinkies were touching.