Adaptations

Chapter 6

Pairing: Jane/Maura
Rating: T
Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me.

Warning: Spoilers for Episode 3.10. See chapter 1 for full summary.

The next morning, Jane went to Maura's house before going to work but late enough that she knew Maura would already be gone.

Angela answered the door with Teddy on her hip and a concerned look on her face. "Jane, is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, Ma," Jane said calmly as she slipped by her mother into the house.

"What happened to your eye?"

"Oh, it was nothing. It's fine. Maura looked at it yesterday."

"She's not here now, if that's why you're here."

"I know. I have a favor to ask you," Jane said.

"Here, take him for a second," Angela said, handing Teddy to Jane. "Maura was running late this morning and you caught me in the middle of cleaning up breakfast. What's the favor?"

"Will you watch Teddy Saturday evening?" Jane asked. "I want to take Maura out to dinner."

"Sure. Is it a special occasion?" Angela asked she turned to the sink to take care of breakfast dishes.

"Not exactly," Jane said while trying to figure out what to do with Teddy.

"Are you celebrating something?" Angela persisted.

"Um, me getting my head out of my ass, I guess."

Angela paused what she was doing to turn to look at Jane. "Are you trying to tell me that you're taking Maura out on a date?"

"Maybe. I mean, I think so. But I want to surprise Maura so don't tell her, okay?"

"I'm proud of you, Jane."

"I appreciate that, Ma. But I don't think I deserve that."

"Don't be too hard on yourself," Angela said, turning back to the dishes. "Not everyone can just jump right into taking care of a child."

Jane had stood Teddy up on the kitchen island and was holding him up around his midsection while he bounced on his feet. "Well, you and Maura didn't have any problems with it. Maura is so natural with him and I have no idea what I'm doing. How did you know you wanted to have kids?"

"I don't know, honey," Angela answered lightly. "That's just what everyone I knew did. Get married and have kids."

"Ma, I'm asking you this seriously. It's not that I don't like kids or even want to have them. But I don't feel this overwhelming need to. Right now, when I think about having kids, having to be responsible for a baby twenty-four hours a day, it scares the crap out of me. You were and still are an amazing mother, and I know you loved raising kids. I don't believe you had kids just because it's what people did. I don't think you would have enjoyed it or been as good at it if that was the case."

Angela had dried her hands and come to stand next to Jane while Jane was talking. "Be patient and it will come. Most parents get to prepare before the baby arrives. Then they learn at the same time their child is growing and learning. And fear is normal. Just put in the time with Maura and Teddy and you'll see. It will become natural for you too."

Teddy was bouncing the whole time Jane was holding him up, looking around the room and occasionally kicking out a foot in a random direction or squatting down until Jane straightened him up again. "He's a wiggly little guy, huh?"

"Just like Tommy was," Angela said, shaking her head. "Your brother never sat still for more than a few seconds. I used to think it was me, that I was just too tired to deal with a third kid. But Teddy is the same. As soon as he can crawl he's never going to stop moving."

"What's this?" Jane asked, nodding towards the photo album sitting on Maura's island.

"Pictures of you and Frankie and Tommy when you were babies. I wanted to show Maura the resemblance to Teddy."

"Oh. I should probably get going," Jane said, handing Teddy off to Angela. She gave her mother a kiss on the cheek and said, "Thank you. I'll see you Saturday."

Jane returned to Maura's house Saturday evening. "Hey, little buddy," Jane said dropping to the floor and sitting cross legged in front of Teddy where he was sitting in his play area.

She was greeted with a big smile from Teddy followed by him blowing a 'pbbbt' sound through his mouth a few times.

"Good to see you too kid," Jane deadpanned.

"He is quite proud that he figured out how to make that noise," Maura said, brushing her hand down Jane's arm as she sat down next to Jane on the floor.

"As he should be. It's quite impressive," Jane joked.

"The bruise under your eye looks like it's healing fine. Do you have any pain?"

"No, it's fine." Jane said, brushing Maura's hands away from her face. "He's going to be crawling soon, huh?" she said, watching Teddy prop himself up on both hands and knees and rock back and forth in place. "He looks like a race car getting ready to take off."

"He's almost there. Which means I really have to baby proof the house. I've only done his room so far," Maura said with a sigh.

"I can help. You'll just have to tell me what to do. I can do it tomorrow."

"Thank you. I've been meaning to do it but he's been waking up a lot in the middle of the night because he's teething and I haven't had the energy to do it in the evening when he's in bed.

"Maur, you don't have to thank me. I want to help. But you," Jane said, picking up Teddy and lifting him above her head until he was laughing, "need to let your Mama sleep, little buddy. She's an important lady and she needs her rest, okay?" Jane lay down on her back and with her arms straight out in front of her moved Teddy up and down and from side to side as he continued to laugh.

Jane looked over at Maura and saw she was frowning. "Hey, what's wrong? Is this not okay?"

"No, it's great. He loves it. It's just," Maura paused and shook her head. "He looks just like you."

"What? No he doesn't," Jane said, incredulous as she looked back and forth between Teddy and Maura, who looked like she was about to cry.

"He does. He has your cheekbones and the dimple in his chin. And his eyes. His are lighter in color now, but the shape is yours. I bet they'll darken to your brown."

Maura got up and brought over the photo album Jane had noticed before. Maura opened the album to a specific page and set it down on the floor in front of Jane who was now sitting up again and holding Teddy against her.

"See, Ted looks just like you did as a baby," Maura said, pointing to a photo. "It was hard when we weren't really talking to look at him and see you. It was... it was just difficult."

Jane pulled the photo out of its sleeve and turned it over, confirming by the description and date written on the back by her mother that it was in fact her around six months old. Before she could say anything in response, Teddy started crying. "Oh, kiddo, do you want your mama?"

"He's probably just ready for bed," Maura said, glancing at her watch.

"Oh, okay," Jane said, happy to change the topic of conversation. She stood and said, "Let's get him to bed then."

Half an hour later Jane had received her first initiation into Teddy's bedtime routine and they were back in the upstairs hallway. "So, do you wanna order some dinner?" Maura said softly.

"Actually, I have a surprise for you. Ma is going to come over so we can go out to dinner."

"Oh, Jane, that's so nice. But your mother does so much already."

"Don't worry. She'll just sit here and watch TV, no different than if she was at her house. Taking care of her grandchildren so her children can go out and enjoy themselves is like a perfect evening for her."

"I, um... Just let me change," Maura said.

"No. I mean, you look great. There will be other opportunities to get dressed up. But we're just going to do something simple. And I like this casual look on you too," Jane said, taking in Maura's simple outfit of jeans and a waffle knit henley.

When they went downstairs Angela was already sitting on the couch. Maura turned on the baby monitor and thanked Angela profusely before Jane managed to get her in her coat and pull her out the door. "I thought we'd just walk down to Charles Street and pick a restaurant," Jane said. "You said you wanted to take things slow and I have no idea what that means. So this can be two friends going out for dinner or more than that if that's what you want."

Maura didn't say anything in response. Instead she took hold of Jane's hand, lacing their fingers together, and set off down the street.

Once they settled on a restaurant and were seated and ordered, Maura said, "May I ask you something?"

"Of course," Jane answered.

"During the few months when we weren't spending time together, what did you do in your free time?"

Jane laughed. "Uh, sat on my couch and felt sorry for myself."

"Really?" Maura said, laughing in response.

"Yeah, what did you think I was doing, partying?" Jane said sarcastically.

"I didn't know what to think. That's why I asked."

Jane looked away as she said, "I was sad and lonely. And confused. And a little angry."

"What about now?" Maura asked.

"I'm working on it. I, uh...I guess I kind of felt like I was being replaced. Which is stupid. I know how stupid that sounds. But, you were with a baby for a few minutes and all of the sudden you're ready to be his mother. And it was so natural for you. I'm sorry, really sorry, that I wasn't feeling that too. I'm still not all the way there, but now I know for sure what I want. I want to be with you and Teddy. I'm going to be here for you now. If it's just as your best friend, that's okay. I do want more, but I'll be whatever you need me to be. And with Teddy, Ma said I should be patient and it will become natural for me too."

"You talked to your mother about this?" Maura asked, obviously surprised.

Jane nodded.

Maura took a moment before saying, "I did expect you to be ready to jump right into raising a kid with me and then I was mad at you for not being there. I was thinking about us as if we were already a couple. That wasn't fair to you. I'm sorry, I haven't been fair to you at all. I'm going to make it up to. And you can stop apologizing and stop blaming yourself. Please stop feeling bad about the past few months. All that matters now is what happens going forward."

The waitress arrived with their food and then Jane lifted her beer and said, "To starting over and going slow." Maura raised her wine glass and clicked it against Jane's bottle.

After dinner they walked around for a little while, stopping at another shop for dessert before walking back to Maura's house.

At the front door, Maura stopped before going inside and turned around towards Jane. "This was really nice. Thank you." Maura bit her bottom lip and then said, "Are you going to spend the night?"

"If you're inviting me."

"Will you stay?" Maura asked.

"Yes," Jane said, stepping closer.

Maura pulled Jane the rest of the way towards her into a kiss. It was more heated, more passionate, than their last kiss. Jane's hands went to Maura's hips under her jacket and pulled their bodies flush against each other.

When they broke apart for air, Jane said, "We should go inside before my mother comes to check on us."

"Oh," Maura said. "She would do that?"

"Yup."

"Okay." Maura straightened her jacket and they went inside the house.

Angela greeted them with a big smile and said, "Did you have a nice time? Teddy's been asleep the whole time."

"Yes, it was very nice to be able to go out. Thank you so much, Angela," Maura said while fidgeting nervously.

Jane watched Maura's fidgeting curiously, but said, "Go ahead upstairs, Maur. I'll just be a minute."

Angela raised her eyebrows at Jane after Maura left, with an appreciative nod to Jane, and said, "Staying the night, huh? Do you need any advice?"

Jane grimaced. "Eew, no. Please never say anything like that again to me. And nothing other than sleep is going to happen up there tonight. We are taking things slow, okay?"

"I think that's nice."

"Thanks, Ma. For helping tonight and for the talk we had earlier."

"I love you, Janie."

"I love you too, Ma."

Angela left and Jane went upstairs. Her and Maura both got ready for bed and once in bed, Jane said, "Are you okay?"

"I just realized that if we are pursuing a romantic relationship that it could get awkward with Angela. I mean if she asks me questions about, you know, what we do, I can't lie."

Jane turned on her side towards Maura who was on her back. Jane moved against Maura's side and slung an arm over Maura's midsection. "Let's just hope she only asks once."

"Is that the best we can hope for?" Maura asked.

"Probably," Jane answered, nuzzling her face against Maura's shoulder. "Goodnight, Maura."

Maura turned so her back was to Jane and Jane was spooning her. "Goodnight, Jane."