AN:
Thanks for all the lovely responses to the last chapter. You guys are awesome. Jane and Maura came to an understanding of sorts but it obviously isn't going to work out exactly as they hope it will. In response to some comments I've gotten on tumblr and also PMs on here I'd like to make clear once again that this fic is inspired by the Garoul series and the Weres in it are quite a bit different from the ones on True Blood say. A good bit more civilized for one thing. LOL That's not to say they can't be violent and vicious. Also as I've said before, this fic will be rated M at some point not too long from now. Again I really recommend the book series. It's loads of fun.
This chapter fills in more backstory which I felt was necessary. I hope you guys like it. I felt that people needed to understand some stuff for the story to keep working.
Pulling away from Maura's touch, Jane retrieved her boots and sat to tug them on. Maura stood for a few moments more watching her and gathering herself. Finally stirring to action as well she announced her intention to shower and giving Jane a last meaningful look, turned and headed back down the hall leaving her to brood.
Jane watched Maura's retreating form, feeling knives of guilt stab at her. She hastened to dress and check her phone. Scrolling through several new messages she started towards the door, but stopped guilt still gnawing at her insides and walked back down the hallway. She couldn't just leave without a word. She wouldn't be that person.
She tapped at the bathroom door "Maura?" she called. "I'm leaving. I'll see you at the department, okay?"
After a pause Maura answered. "Alright, Jane. See you there." She sounded distant.
Fresh stabs wracked Jane. She leaned against the door with her forehead. Damn it, I never wanted to hurt you. "I'm sorry Maura. I... really hope you know that."
Again a pause, but shorter this time "I know Jane. I can't pretend I understand, but I will give you time."
Like I deserve it. The beginnings of new tears in her eyes Jane said "Okay, well, bye."
Outside Jane checked in with the Officers on watch. Thanking them and telling them to go get breakfast. Walking to her car Jane thought it was a great Idea for her as well.
In her car Jane belted in but didn't start the engine. She leaned back and closed her eyes breathing deeply, trying to think clearly for the first time that day. She'd tried and tried to fight it but it just didn't work. She wanted Maura. Actually "want" was far too weak a term for what she was feeling. She craved Maura. It felt as if nothing on earth would give her peace again except Maura's touch. She could still taste Maura's lips and skin. Maura's scent still covered her, making Jane's senses roil. The ferocity of her feelings scared her, but it was also thrilling. It was so new.
She'd only partly told the truth when Maura had asked about girlfriends. There had been a girl in high school she'd had a puppy love with but even back then Jane wouldn't let anyone get too close. That personal distance combined with her physical absence in the summers put a stop to the relationship before it could even really get going. The academy girlfriend was just a lie. There had been a girl she flirted with a bit but Jane was so focused on becoming a cop and so bad at social interaction that she had moved on fairly quickly. Jane hadn't really noticed her go at the time.
And that was it. Jane was a wolven. She didn't feel deprived. That was the way her people were, even if humans couldn't understand it. Love for family and friends came easily. Wolven were fiercely loyal. Romantic love though, that was much harder to come by. But when it came it would never run out. Her Aunt Gianna explained it to her one summer evening on the porch of her giant old log cabin in the clan valley when Jane was feeling particularly isolated from her brothers and their "normal" lives.
Jane had graduated high school and was trying to figure out what she wanted to do with herself next. Frankie and Tommy were both old enough to not want to go everywhere with her anymore. They now had plenty of friends to hang out with and so, had stayed home for the summer. A letter from her mom had arrived and in it she filled Jane in on the news from home and her brothers' lives. Frankie had a summer job at the gas station. They both were playing baseball. Oh and they both had new girlfriends. That gave Jane pause. Stacy her crush, had moved on the previous fall and Jane had spent the school year feeling particularly alone. Jane was at a loss though for what she had done wrong or what she could do differently.
She sat absently folding and unfolding the letter, her legs dangling off the edge of the porch, the late golden sunlight setting the leaves ablaze. She watched her cousins showboat and play. Her Aunt Gianna's hand on her shoulder pulled her from her thoughts.
"Is there something sad in the letter?" She asked, looking concerned. "You've seemed quiet a lot this evening."
"Oh, it's nothing." Jane kept her eyes down, struggling to explain her feelings. " It's just, Mom telling me about Frankie and Tommy. They have jobs and friends... and girlfriends." She added finally.
Aunt Gianna was an impressive woman. She was tall, olive skinned and raven haired like all Rizzolis, with a supremely confident way of carrying herself. The subtle hints of grey starting to appear in her long, singly braided hair did nothing to detract from the power she exuded. As Alpha of the pack she seemed to combine the strength of them all inside her. But despite this, she was the calmest, kindest person Jane knew. Nurturing, teaching and caring for her pack's young was a large part of her duties and to Jane she payed special attention. Not only because she was her dead brother's daughter, but also because without him around Jane was very alone and had terrifying powers to manage. She had argued with Angela strongly for a few years after her brother died, trying to convince her to send Jane to live with her. If not year round, then at least for most of it. Angela's stubbornness matched her own though and she refused to part with her daughter. Despite Gianna's fears, Jane had done remarkably well. But there were many things left to teach her.
Gianna lowered herself to sit beside Jane. "And you're feeling left out?" she asked gently. She cast her eyes across the cabins and trees in the late evening sun. Letting Jane answer on her own time.
"Yeah, I guess I am. I mean, all these things normal people do, why can't I do them? Why am I always on the outside?!" It came out of Jane in a rush and she crumpled the letter slightly in her hands.
Gianna reached to touch Jane's hand, stilling her. "We are all outside of some things and inside of others. Don't you think your brothers wish they could share your gifts with you?"
Jane knew her brothers were jealous of her at times although they had gotten better at hiding it. But how could the few things she could do make up for all the stuff she missed out on? "Sure they're jealous sometimes, but they still get to do so many things I never will. Frankie is on his second girlfriend! When will I have that? Even one? There's something wrong with me."
Gianna hugged her around the shoulders. "I'm sorry things have been this way Jane. If things were right your father would have been here to help you through this stuff a few years ago. I try my best to teach you, but I have so many young ones to watch after. I haven't done enough." Grief ghosted over her features as it always did when speaking of her brother.
"No, you've done a great job Auntie." Jane tried to reassure her. "It's just that, I see all these kids at school being sweet on each other and my brothers with girls and even you and Aunt Selena, but I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. Even Tasha and that girl who lives in town across the valley are together. Tasha and her are always with each other. Kissing. Doing... other stuff."
"We talked about it a little bit last summer, didn't we? About the feelings you were getting from looking at girls?"
"Yeah. You said it was normal. Like you and Selena and the others here. I know it's normal for us, but humans, kids at school, say it's gross and wrong. They bully kids for it. For anything that's not normal."
"You realize that it's quite common among regular people too don't you Jane? Even if it's still discriminated against it's far more common than most people will admit. It's much more common for us to be gay it's true, but it doesn't make us unique. That's the least of what makes us different." She laughed deep and Jane couldn't help but smile too.
Jane pressed on, "But why is it so common for us?"
Gianna was thoughtful. "You might as well ask why we are wolven. We just are. Our origins are shrouded in myth and lost to time. We have so few artifacts and books of our history left." She chuckled softly. "I mean, we can't even decide who is the oldest clan. Were the first wolven in Italy? Greece? France? Some say China. No one really knows. There are theories about our gayness of course and I have thought about it some myself, but no definitive answers. The best I've heard is that it keeps us from over-breeding and taking over the world." she grinned wryly. "Of course with today's technology that's no longer a barrier."
Jane listened raptly. She loved listening to her Aunt talk, the deep soothing voice settling her wolf, making her feel safe. Already she felt much better.
"But the real issue is not about finding girls attractive, but when will it become more than that. Correct?" Gianna was serious now.
Jane snapped back to attention. "Yes." she nodded.
"There's no way to know. We don't fall in love easily. Our wolves are very selective. But when you meet a woman who is right you will know it. And then there will be no stopping you. You can fight it if you want, but she will consume you in the end."
Jane was speechless. That wasn't reassuring at all. That sounded like life would take matters out of her hands and how could she accept that? No one told her where her life would go! She found her voice finally. "That can't be right! Auntie how can that be right? You're saying I'll be a... a, slave to chance?!"
"You act like this doesn't happen for everyone eventually. Do you think anyone chooses to fall in love? We wolven fall in love deeply, very deeply, but it's not that different from anyone else."
"But what if I don't want her?" Jane was still reeling.
"I'm saying you will want her. If she's right, you'll know. And until you meet a woman who is, you will never truly be able to feel or connect to romantic love."
"But what if she doesn't want me?" Jane asked. A new worry popping into her head.
"Then you will be in great pain for awhile. Just as anyone would be. But someday hopefully a new woman will come along. Don't think that there's only one woman who would be right for you in this world Jane. There are probably many. Just fewer than for other people." Gianna stroked Jane's hair affectionately. "I know this seems hard but some day you will not think so. And there are benefits too that you are unaware of."
Jane was still troubled, but somewhat mollified. "And what are those?"
"Human love can never compare to ours. Humans fall out of love or lust with each other. They divorce. Once you take a mate and give yourself to her and she to you, you will never stop loving her as intensely as when you first met. And the sex, well, lets just say I've never had bad sex in my life. Nothing less than amazing in fact."
"Auntie!" Jane exclaimed, going red. "I don't want to hear that about Aunt Selena!"
Gianna laughed loudly and gave Jane a playful shove. "Aw, you're old enough to hear it."
Despite her embarrassment Jane's curiosity kept her asking questions."That's you and Aunt Selena, two wolven, but what about if I took a human mate like my dad did?"
"There are many mixed pairs in the clan as we speak and I've known several more in my life including your parents. It's pretty much exactly the same. After accepting each other as mates, our pheromones become attuned with our partner whether wolven or human and the bond is formed. That's why when the pair is broken up like... with your family, it's very painful to whoever is left."
I want her. Jane couldn't avoid the thought. I love her. She's right. She's just right. But how do I tell her about me? How can I do it? Maura was rational almost above all things. How would she handle something as irrational as Jane. Maura's logic didn't apply to her or any of the other things from the woods and the old places. Jane was wrong. She didn't fit in Maura's world just like she didn't fit with the kids in school. She was an outsider. How would Maura ever understand that? Maura was rich, cultured. Maura fit in this world perfectly. Maura could never accept a, a thing like Jane. She'd asked Aunt Gianna how could she ever tell a human what she was and Gianna had just told her to talk to her mom. That was a conversation Jane had never wanted to have. Well I guess I'll have to face it now.
Jane sat and brooded a bit more realizing she was becoming later for work than she wanted. She started the car and headed for the department, trying to get her thoughts back on catching Hoyt. Fucking Hoyt and his fucking bad timing. This new thing with Maura was more than enough on it's own to worry about and now he had to come back.
From his vantage point in an alley across the way the tall blond haired man watched the unmarked cars drive away and then the Rizzoli bitch several minutes later. What the fuck took her so long? He wondered. His job was simply to watch, follow and report back anything interesting. And he thought he definitely had something interesting. The Rizzoli bitch had someone's scent all over her. Once he figured out whose in particular it was, then he would report back. Hoyt should be very happy to know it. He thought.