A/N: Sorry for disappearing for a whole month. Work is killing me even when all I do is learning and being trained by others.

Chapter 6

Lying still on the table, Evelyn observes Solas's face as he works on the prosthetic he just attached to the remaining of her left arm. Her bondmate is so focused that even his breaths seem to follow a certain pattern to maximize his efficiency and time. His fingers wave delicate runes that engraved themselves into her skin and veins. The glowing symbols run along her arms, pass her shoulder and through her whole body, leaving a tingling sensation inside her very bones that make Evelyn want to fidget.

She dares not to move her arm—Solas did tell her to stay still—instead, she just wiggles her toes and trying in vain to distract herself with something.

Solas suddenly chuckles above her, he stops his work to reach out and strokes her cheek.

"Vhenan, it is all right to move a little bit," he says affectionately. "Or do you want to get all stiff after this?"

"You said that I should stay still."

"I said that you should not move too much, not that you should keep yourself completely immobilize like a statue." Solas leans over to press a kiss on her lips. "I know you are nervous, but it will be okay. Everything is going well so just a little more."

Evelyn nods, trying to ignore the stare of the two elven maids in the room and focus on the reports she read this morning.

The disbanding of the Inquisition has left the Circle mages in a state of panic since the Chantry still insists to "protect" them with towers and Templars, a majority of them has locked themselves in Skyhold and the other Inquisition's keeps, fearing that without the Inquisitor the templars will start to hunt them again if they come out. It does not help that the news about Fen'Harel is now spreading all over Thedas, making the Chantry even more paranoid.

With Evelyn's "death", her friends and people in the Inquisition will focus on Fen'Harel and elves' movements around Thedas while neglecting to check the mages—and Solas has made sure that it will stay that way for a while more—so in the next several months, Evelyn's followers will have to push for mass recruitment to move the mages to their side completely.

But on a more personal note, Evelyn has learned a curious thing among the reports. Apparently, her parents had attended her 'funeral', which is incredibly strange because, during her entire time as the Inquisitor, they had never made any attempt to contact her despite all the benefits they could gain for the family.

But then again, it's not like she actually ever understands them before. During her years in Ostwick, Evelyn had fully prepared herself to be killed one day when her parents could not handle her demands for golds and research resources anymore. But her death has never come, the Templars still dared not to touch her, and her requests continued to be fulfilled without fail.

Yet she knows what she saw and heard that night so long ago was not a dream—her parents really did order to have three of her cousins to be disposed of because they were bringing shame to the family's name. Having a mage daughter being destined for a heretic god was shameful enough, but when said daughter clearly wanted to learn more about 'her god', it should have warranted her death sentence long ago and—

A spark of magic flares yanks Evelyn from her thoughts. Her beloved has finally leaned away from his work.

"There." He smirks in triumph and pulls her up. "Now, vhenan, can you try moving your arm for me?" Solas requests.

It is only then that Evelyn notices that she could actually feel something from her left arm instead of just the phantom sensation that plagued her this whole month. She looks down to her prosthetic. It is made from some kind of soft material that similar to a type of tree sap one could find in Tevinter—soft and flexible. The end where it attached to her stump seems more like it is blending into her flesh as there are no gaps. Her fingers slide along the white surface decorated with delicate long engraved lines of patterns that look like vines and leaves—there are sensations left behind by her fingertips!

Heart thumping, she tries to clench her left hand and it does! She can even feel the way each fingertip pressing into her palm!

Turning to Solas, she reaches out to hold his face with both hands. Warmth seeps into both of them. There are no differences, she can feel everything, from the textures to the movements of his face. She can feel everything!

Quickly reaches for his hand next, Evelyn testes each of her finger by hooking onto his own fingers and pulls. Yes, the weight and forces are all the same.

Suddenly, Solas tightens his fingers around her new hand and brings them to his mouth. Looking straight into her eyes, he presses a kiss on each finger before placing a final one in the middle of her palm.

Her eyes soon become glassy under the waves of emotions but she holds in the tears, whispering, "Thank you, my Wolf."

He smiles, shaking his head. "Not yet, there is more." Holding the wrist, he straightens out her left arm before commanding, "Now, try to imagine this as if it's a real thing."

She does as he requested and to her surprise, the vines on her arms start to fill up while the white color gradually changes to a fleshy pinkish tone. In a few seconds, before Evelyn is an arm that looks exactly like her right one. She can even see everything that a real arm should have, from the blue veins on the wrist to the creases of skin around the joins and knuckles; there are even pulses when she presses against the skin!

She holds her arm up, marveling at the miracle her beloved has done. It's almost as if she has never lost her limb, the only things that indicated that had happened are the fact that the Anchor is missing while her soulmark is now on her right wrist instead of left.

"I must be dreaming…" Evelyn mumbles.

Solas chuckles. "No, you are not, because your real arm cannot do this." He points to a candle in a shallow dish. "Use your prosthetic as you would a magic staff and melt that."

Once again, she obeys his instruction and tries to imagine her arm as a staff. Easily, her magic creates a fireball that wraps around the candle and melts it into a puddle in the container.

The new surprise finally sets in and Evelyn has to exclaim. "You made it into a staff too? You can do that?"

"Of course I can," Solas replies proudly. "I may not be as talented as Dirthamen or June in creation magic, but I still am one of the Evanuris, the strongest and most powerful of my people. And you…"

He cups her face. "You deserve my best efforts."

Evelyn giggles at his smugness but decides not to chide him—he really is one of the best, after all. She just asks playfully, "How should I thank you now, my Wolf, for this wonderful gift?"

It was a joke since she knows Solas wouldn't want her to do anything for him as repayment. It's just how they treat one another, simply because of love, not because they want anything in exchange (most of the time).

But then, unexpectedly, Solas's expression changes and a glint of hunger appears in his eyes instead. He pulls her against him and wrap his arm around her waist, growls huskily into her ear. "Then how about that special treatment you gave me two years ago before I left Skyhold?"

Evelyn's face immediate heats up at his at his sudden demand. Reflexively, she stops Solas by pushing both of her hands against his mouth. "Of course! I will do it! Just later, we still have jobs to do!" She can hear the gasping sounds from the servants and feel their stares.

Solas grins smugly, making Evelyn realizes he is just teasing. But the damages had already done—the servants had seen and heard enough to have a new topic of gossip for the next few days.

Fortunately for Evelyn, her Wolf decides not to tease her anymore and just spends the rest of their time teaching her how to care for the prosthetic and how to remove it from her stump by turning it into a bracelet that she can wear. They also both agree that she should still use a normal staff when fighting instead of casting spells with her arm directly to ensure safety and elements of surprise when needed.

After that, she has to leave to meet up with the field agents to review their reports.

xxXxx

By the evening, Evelyn is completely exhausted while she drags herself to the kitchen, planning to just make something light for herself and Solas.

But tired as she is, Evelyn is happy. Everything is going well—the preparation for the valley where all the mages will gather to create the main Fade Gate and its barrier can finally start; they had also managed to restore the elvhen ruins and its underground facilities over there to a more presentable state to house at least half a dozen Dalish clans for training. The other regions still have a lot of work to do before they are suitable to support their army, but since Evelyn is now well enough to travel, she will personally go and oversee the construction.

Silently thanking Solas for making sure to link all the eluvians to those place, Evelyn sighs in relief knowing that her trip around the Dales won't be as long and tedious as back when she was still with the Inquisition.

Speaking of Solas…

Evelyn feels her heart drums a little harder when she remembers the way he held her this noon, and how she could feel his hot breath against her ear when he asked for her "favor".

Ever since she first came here, Solas has been very open with his love to her in front of other people. Well, not that affectionate given that they still have to act professionally in front of their field agents. But when they are in private spaces with the domestic servants, her bondmate is definitely less refrained compared to when he was still in Skyhold.

It's not that she is ashamed—she had stripped herself naked for people to see his marks on her body before—but she is self-conscious of her position. To many people here, she is just a human who suddenly appeared one day and took over the place right next to Solas. They might have heard of her before but she knows for them to actually see her is something else completely.

She can feel the way they look at her, scrutinizing each of her actions. She tries to ignore them and continues on as she would in Skyhold—working diligently without holding back her love for Solas—but sometimes, it still gets into her head the thought that they may never see her as enough for him and for this whole organization… She wonders if Solas ever felt like this back when he was just "Solas the apostate"?

When she goes near the door leading to the main kitchen, Evelyn hears loud noises of laughter and chatting of several women.

"You girls should see the way he embraced her, it was so romantic! It was like in those stories the human noblewomen like to read to each other!" A young feminine voice could be heard, following by a few giggles and whistles.

Evelyn stops at that, realizing they are talking about her and Solas. A bit mortified but also curious, she stops going forward and instead, pressing herself against the wall.

"True, true, I've worked here for two years and have never seen him like that. Our lord usually is so serious and distant, now seeing him like that is just unbelievable! Love really is something else!" Another voice agrees enthusiastically.

"Maybe some of those stories about the Dread Wolf's "conquers" were true? He just didn't find any needs to do so this whole time?"

"Or maybe he just finds her fun and exotic? She's human, after all."

Evelyn suddenly feels like someone has just doused a whole bucket of cold water on her. Even the people in the kitchen immediately become silent at the suggestion, but it does not take long for someone to voice their protest.

"Hey, watch your mouth, you are talking about Lord Fen'Harel bondmate here!" A high-pitched voice demands.

"What? That makes sense, doesn't it? She must look very different from what he had before."

"Well, it's not wrong but…"

"She is human, but that doesn't mean that our Lord only cares about Lady Evelyn's body, you dimwit. We've all seen her soulmark, that thing just doesn't turn red without love. I've seen it in my old brothel, tons of supposedly soulmates fucking each other but not a single one of their marks could change color unless they actually fell something." Says an old woman. "So yes, watch your mouth, girl! And stop talking stupid unless you want to get in troubles."

"Fine, fine, I didn't mean to say that he doesn't love her." The maid huffs. "It's not that I hate Lady Evelyn or anything. I'm just saying that… uhm, I was just worried that our lord Fen'Harel may miss his own kind after a while. You know? Even if he does love his bondmate, she is still human, not one of us. Like… when you move to a new place, you love it and happy but sometimes you still miss your old home where you grew up?"

Another uneasy silence follows before a new voice says, "I get what you mean, Lady Evelyn is working hard like us, that's obvious. But no matter how hard she tries, she is still human, and there are things that can't be fixed."

"Yeah, I kinda feel sorry for her now. And Lord Fen'Harel, too. They seem to love each other a lot but there're things you can't help it."

Upon hearing the agreement of a few other servants, Evelyn feels like her chest is being pressed on by a boulder. Deciding to just ask for the food to be brought to her later, she turns around and walks slowly back to her room.

Back in their bedroom, Evelyn just unceremoniously plops herself down on the mattress and stays like that for a whole while. The words of the servant run back and forth in her head like an echo. A couple of times in the past, she did think about the possibility that Solas may find her boring or not enough for his own taste but so many times he had simply made her forget or dismiss the idea with the way he treats her body—with absolute adoration and reverence.

But now, to hear her own doubt from someone else's mouth…

She knows even if she allows it, Solas would never find some else even if it's just for sex, but it's possible that he would still unconsciously want something closer to home. If only…

A sudden thought flashes through Evelyn's mind, she sits up and looks at her new left hand. Ever since she lost the Mark, she could no longer manipulate the Fade in her dream just as before. She can still move between places she had already known well—like Solas's flower field and Skyhold—but to actually go to new regions requires a tremendous effort that leaves her completely exhausted afterward. These days, she has to rely on Solas to help her explore the Fade.

But when she is in her own territories, she still has a strong control over everything within those spaces, even herself. Maybe… just maybe?

Evelyn walks to the large standing mirror in the corner and looks upon her reflection. She has never thought of herself as anything other than a human. She has never even wished that she has a different appearance. But…

Clenching her jaw, Evelyn concludes that she should try it, despite her uneasiness, because Solas deserves the best from her too.

xxXxx

Solas walks back to his room at a faster pace than usual. Evelyn has told him she has a surprise for him tonight in the Fade and he cannot help but greatly anticipate it, especially after a whole of not seeing her due to their busy schedule.

Two more days and his bondmate will leave with her own group of followers to start her own surveillance of where they will place their supporting units for the war. Since it will be the first time she introduces herself to the followers outside of this headquarter, Evelyn will need to stay with them for at least a few months to properly establish herself as their second leader after him.

Of course, Solas will come to visit her in-between to help but Evelyn will need to handle everything herself. He is worried, but he knows this is the fight she must face herself.

Either way, for now, they need to enjoy each other's presence as much as they can. He can only thankful for the fact that their separation this time will not be as bad and long as the last one while hoping it will not end with her almost losing her life (and limb) again…

When he steps into their room, he finds Evelyn is already asleep. One of her arms is stretching over his spot on the bed, probably from her unconsciously seeking out his warm like usual.

Solas quickly changes into his sleeping pants and get into the bed. Just as he expected, Evelyn automatically moves into his arms. Smiling to himself, Solas gives his bondmate a kiss before lying down to sleep and find her soul in the Beyond. It does not take him long to find her—this time, she has chosen his old room in Arlathan.

Ah, this really brings back memories. And Evelyn is even wearing the same dress she wore that night! He can feel heat running down his stomach already, especially with the way Evelyn throws herself into his arms and kiss him breathlessly.

"Eager, aren't we?" He chuckles, nuzzling against her temper.

"Of course, I have tried very hard for this," Evelyn says cheerfully but… Is it just him or her smile looks rather strained? Tries not to frown, he secretly probes their link. Yes, she does feel wrong, not quite the usual nervousness but with a clear excitement whenever she tries something new with him. She feels… uncomfortable.

"So, what is your surprise for me, vhenan?" Solas still asks, hoping that he was wrong in his reading of her emotion.

Lips curve into what is a very uneasy smile, Evelyn steps away from him and magic starts to gather around her. Her body glows lightly as it morphs in front of him.

And when the light finally faded away, standing him is Evelyn… but as an elf.

In just a few scant seconds, several things go through Solas's mind.

He remembers the years back then when he was still indecisive about his love for her. He sometimes would imagine her as an elf to erase the feeling of betrayal over his desire for a human instead of his own kind. But that did not last long.

He remembers how he gradually learned to love Evelyn for what she is because he realized that Evelyn could not be "Evelyn" if she were not born as a human.

He remembers all the times he spent to observe her features, all the things that make her "her".

The elven Evelyn in front of him is as beautiful as the human one, and since she carries all the traces that he would find beauty in his own people, one could say that she should be even more desirable to him now.

True, Evelyn, as a human or an elf, is beautiful. Not the kind of beauty that makes heads turn or bewitching men into her devoted slaves; it is the kind of loveliness that is easy on the eyes, the kind of attractiveness that most people would say that it is unremarkable and common, and yet still very pleasant to look at.

Solas should desire her even more now that she has what he would usually find attractive.

But he does not.

She looks wrong to him. Her eyes are too big. Her nose is too straight. Her ears are not short and round. Her shoulders too narrow, and so is the rest of her body. She does not have the ample breasts that he loves so much. She does not have the wide hips that had filled out over the years of getting to eat properly in the Inquisition either—he remember Evelyn used to be so thin when they first met due to her life as a wandering researcher, too focus on her quest for knowledge and helping people to find enough food to fill her stomach.

She looks beautiful as an elf but he cannot find any desire to hold or kiss her as he does her human self.

All he feels right now is anger.

"S-Solas?" Evelyn stammers. Hands stretching out trying to reach for him when she sees that his reaction isn't what she expected.

He recoils from her hand and in a single flash, Solas rips apart the dream, knocking both of them back to the physical world.

xxXxx

When Solas opens his eyes, Evelyn has already disappeared from his hold. He looks around and finds her curls into a ball on the ground, her back leans against the end of the bed. She is sobbing softly.

He quickly moves over to take hold of her shoulder and chin, forcing her to look at him despite her struggling.

"Evelyn, vhenan—"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She chokes out. "I j-just wanted to make you happy, I didn't think you would be that angry. I've should have known better than to play with the appearance of your people like that!"

"No, vhenan. That is not it." He shakes his head, feeling like his heart is being stabbed at each tear she is shredding. "I am not angry at you. My anger is at whoever has planted in your head the idea that you have to change yourself to please me."

"But… I truly wanted to make you happy—"

"Not at the expense of yourself. You were extremely uncomfortable." He cuts her off. "And do not lie to me that you didn't feel so. I checked, your emotion was a mess, and you could not even smile properly. You obviously did not like that idea yourself."

Evelyn attempts to open her mouth, obviously trying to protest, but she stops. There is no point to deny it, they both know it.

"I did it because I thought you would want something closer to home once in a while," she murmurs, looking away from him.

He sighs, guiding her face back. "Did you hear that from the maids? That I want a female elf to please me instead of you?" He asks with a gentle tone but inside, he is cursing at the gossiping servants. Evelyn already has enough troubles with everything, he does not need them to make her doubt herself, too.

"Not exactly that, but close." Evelyn swallows. "They did know that you love me. But some of them think that you would still miss your own kind once in a while… and I don't think it's wrong for me to believe that."

Solas feels a wave of guilt when he remembers how years before, in order to push Evelyn away, he had told her that he only finds elves attractive. It wasn't a complete lie—while he has already attracted to her by then, she was the exception as he felt and still feels nothing toward the other humans. But no matter what his intention was, the only thing matters now is that his words had left behind a doubt in Evelyn, making his heart think that she is not enough for him.

Even though she is already more than what he deserves.

Solas takes a long look at Evelyn again. Yes, she does not need to have long ears or big eyes that shine in the dark, there is no need for her to have a lithe body or delicate limbs either. She is already complete as a human. He knows it but most importantly, she must know it.

And he will do so, even if he has to be forceful about it.

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, Solas pulls Evelyn up. "I should have done a better job," he murmurs, wiping away her tears.

"Do what?"

"Making you know I want you."

"But I knew that already. You've made it very clear from the first time we laid together." Evelyn frowns.

"Not quite." With a tilt of his head, the dressing mirror floats from its spot to stand against the wall across the side of their bed. "You know that I want you. But not how much."

He pushes her in front of the mirror, giving her sometimes to see herself in it.

"Do you remember our very first night together? The very night that I found you pleasuring yourself in my bed?" He strokes her shoulders, feeling a light shudder going through her. "I must admit, when I first started to fall for you, I used to imagine you as one of the People but I stopped when I discovered I just couldn't do it."

Evelyn squeezes his hand, signaling him to elaborate further. "One night, I tried to pleasure myself using your images. I didn't want to think about the fact that you are human, seeing it as a betrayal to my people, so I imagined you as an elf instead. But then, I discovered no matter how much I worked myself, I couldn't find release. It was only when I finally gave up and thought about you as yourself that I could reach my climax. It has to be you as a human, nothing else."

He emphasizes by sweeping her hair to aside and nuzzles into the back of her ear.

"… When did that happen?" Evelyn asks.

"Just very shortly before you closed the Breach. It was one of many reasons that made me planned to run away right after that finished. But then Corypheus attacked, and you could not wake up from your wound, so I chose to remain instead, and let myself fall for you deeper until I could not get out anymore. The rest you are already known."

Evelyn turns around, hands catching his owns. "But… are you sure you don't need—"

"Vhenan." He exhales, knowing that he needs to be more forceful to get through her. "Have you ever wanted me to be a human? Or wanted anyone else that is your own people?"

"Never." Just as he expected, she replies immediately. "I've never been with any other man but you, how can I miss something I have never known? And being with you is already enough for me. My heart is full, I don't need anyone else to love me."

He smirks, gripping her chin with one hand. "You have only laid with one man and already so sure, then how can I, who had years of experience to figure out my preference, not be able to know what I want?"

His retort definitely has caught Evelyn off guard because she sputters, obviously cannot find anything to counter back.

Solas turns her around again. "After that first night in the Fade, I knew I could never turn back. No elves or humans could ever compete to this." As he speaks, his experienced hands pull at the straps of her gown and smalls, and in a matter of seconds, Evelyn is completely stripped off her clothing, leaving her standing bare in front of the mirror.

His sensitive ears could already hear his bondmate's breaths quicken. Reaching out to caress her neck and waist, Solas continues, "Do you see it? Do you see the things that I love about you?"

Solas suddenly pulls Evelyn flushes against his front, making her suck in a breath. His arms snake around her front— left-hand takes hold of her jaw while the right-hand caresses her stomach. "You fit so well into my arms, vhenan." He growls.

"Solas…"

"I love it whenever you say my name, and I love it even more when I can make that name to be the only thing in your mind when we make love." He gives her ear a single lick as it is enough to make her tremble. "I love the way your ear is so sensitive that I can make you lost words just being touching it with my tongue."

"Solas." Evelyn breathes out, head turns around just in time for him to capture her mouth. His tongue threats with her as his hand on her neck travels down to grab the underside of her right breast. His other hand slides from her stomach down to her mound. His fingers seek out her slit to stroke it teasingly before he goes up a little to search for her clit. So willingly, Evelyn parts her legs a little more to give him space.

He rubs around her nipple but not quite touching it. It is only when Evelyn tries to lean forward to get more frictions that he goes to attack the little peak, finger swirling and pinching it roughly to harden it.

When their lips part, a trail of spit follows Evelyn's mouth, making her face even more erotic with her hazy gaze, flushed cheeks, and swollen lips. Pride surges in his chest as he knows only him is allowed to do this to her.

Pushing her forward, Solas places his bondmate's hands on the mirror before turning her face to it. Pressing himself against her side and keep her still with one arm, he presses his lips to her ear, whispering while looking at their reflection. "Look at yourself in the mirror, vhenan. Can you see how lovely you are? It is an addiction of mine to see you like this."

She looks at her reflection in surprise before something rises in her eyes, something feral that makes him wants to lose control.

(Ao3)

(Ao3)

(Ao3)

Moving Evelyn to a more comfortable position in his lap, Solas turns her face to the mirror again while releasing her arms from behind her back. He commands, "Look, vhenan."

Evelyn looks and what she sees is definitely having an effect on her because she sobs in a breath. Her hands squeeze his forearm as she looks up to him. Solas can see clearly his reflection in her eyes.

Their lips touch again. Solas continues to hold Evelyn tightly as they look at their image in the mirror until she slips away into the Fade.

He soon follows after.

xxXxx

"You sent Abelas with me, too?" Evelyn says, finishing the final snap on her cloak, her followers waiting near the eluvian. The other servants had just brought out all the necessary equipment for the journey and are watching him and Evelyn saying goodbye to each other.

Solas nods, "Yes, the Sentinels will meet up with you at the second post, and Abelas shall stay with you until the main outpost is finished for him to start training the new recruits."

Evelyn takes a long look at Solas. Then she grins, giving him a knowing look before reaching out to take his face into her hands. His bondmate pulls him down and give him a deep kiss that leaves him stunted for just a second before he reacts by grabbing her and returning her kiss with the same enthusiasm.

When she lets go, Evelyn taps his nose. "I will be fine, my Wolf. I'll send reports every week through Felassan so wait for it."

She steps away from him and to the eluvian, pulling her hood over her head. Her eyes twinkle as she smiles at him. "We'll be going now. Take care of yourself."

And with that, Evelyn departs through the mirror, the rest of her group trails behind, leaving Solas standing there. Out of the corner of his eye, Solas could see the way the servants look at him and each other.

He does not know exactly what rumors they will make, but with the confidence Evelyn has displayed and the way she kissed him with no hesitation, he can be sure that it will be alright.

Smiling, Solas walks away, there is a mountain of works still waiting for him in the office.