Rick lay in Phoenix Person's bed, staring at the ceiling. He knew he was hallucinating, and that was the worst part. He knew what would happen, but he couldn't do anything about it. It all happened so long ago, but it was as if he was watching the worst day of his life play out before him.

"Come on M…Morty. We need to go!" Rick said loudly. "I found a dimension where people evolved from giraffes on their version of Earth. You gotta see it. Summer is g…getting ready."

Morty jumped up, and in his excitement he managed to put both legs in the same leg of his blue pants and topple over.

"Come on!" Rick said. "This is the b…best thing ever."

He ran down the stairs with Morty following close behind.

"W…w…we need to hurry," Rick said. "There are only a couple of hours of daylight left, and I've been looking for a c…cool place to take you for your birthday."

"But that's tomorrow," Morty said.

"I know. It's an early pr…present. I have a surprise there. The people are real nice. You'll love it. Get your coats. It's c…cold out."

They got into his spacecraft and sped away. When they reached the right coordinates Rick stopped.

"There's n…nothing here," Morty said. "Just space."

"We're not in the right dimension yet," Rick said. He pressed a button and a larger sized portal gun came out of the ship. It shot a glowing blue hole that hung in empty space. It was just big enough for the ship to pass through.

A planet spread below them, and they saw the continents, lush and green. Morty stuck his face to the window. "Whoa. How did you d…do that Grandpa?"

Rick's cheer faltered. "We use portals together at least three times a w…week, Morty," he said. "I have to explain it to you every time."

"He can't remember cause he's dumb," Summer said, sticking her tongue out at Morty.

In his original dimension she was only 2 years older than Morty, and Rick was used to bickering between them.

"I'm not d…dumb!" Morty said. "Am I, Grandpa?"

Rick hesitated. He'd dreaded this question. "You're my b…best little buddy," he said. "That's all that matters, right?"

"You think I'm dumb?" Morty asked with tears in his eyes. "You s…said I'm just devel…devel…growing slower than the other kids."

"You are," Rick said. "The slow ones grow up to be the smartest. You'll s…see." He decided to deal with the consequences of the lie when Morty got older.

"Summer, quit teasing your brother."

He flew low, fitting in with the flow of traffic. He had decided to take them to an outdoor music festival, so they could soak up some local culture and see a lot of aliens.

"Oh," Summer said pointing out of the window at people far below. "I see some giraffe people!"

Rick looked over at her. She was smiling and wearing her new red dress, her pigtails flopping around. "You kids are the best thing th…that ever happened to me. Happy early birthday, Morty."

"Thanks, Grandpa."

His voice sounded flat, and Rick looked back in the mirror. Morty looked miserable.

"W…what's wrong?" Rick asked.

"I am dumb, aren't I?" Morty asked.

"Of course not," Rick said. "Summer, you've had the fr…front seat for long enough. Let Morty come up here."

The children scrambled to change seats and buckle their belts.

"Prove it," Morty said. "Pr…prove I'm not dumb."

"I can't really do that," Rick said. "Some people have normal intelligence, but some h…h…have higher emotional intelligence. Some are artistic." He hoped Morty bought the bullshit he was spouting.

"Huh?" Morty asked.

And some kids are just dumb as bricks, he thought.

"Hey look," Rick said. "You can see the gir…giraffe people."

"You said I could fly the ship when I was 10," Morty said.

Oh shit, Rick thought. Why did he have to remember that of all things?

"You're not 10 until tomorrow," Rick said, "and we n…need to be somewhere without traffic for your f…first time."

"It's cause you think I'm d…dumb!" Morty said. "I'll prove I'm not dumb. I've been w…watching you, and I'm going to fly this ship."

Before Rick could stop him, Morty took off his seatbelt, jumped in Rick's lap, and grabbed the controls. "Watch me fly!" he yelled.

It had all happened so fast. Morty hit the stabilizer button, realigning the ship's ballast so that it became heavy on the left while the right was suddenly many times lighter.

"Morty!" Rick screamed as he grabbed the controls. The ship fell out of traffic, heading directly for the buildings below. The left wing hung lowest, leaving them pressed against the sides of the ship. Rick and Summer were wearing seat belts, but Morty was thrown against the side of the ship.

Rick ignored Morty's pained scream, focusing instead on readjusting the ballast. It was a simple procedure, and the ship righted itself quickly. He pulled up sharply, hardly daring to breathe as he saw the end of the street nearing, and a tall building looming in front of him.

He barely made it, flying almost perpendicular to the building. He leveled out above the building and continued flying in open space.

Summer was crying, and Morty was still screaming from what Rick could only hope were minor injuries.

Rick felt weak and shaky. He'd faced death before, but not with the kids around. He looked for a place to land. He saw a parking lot nearby and began his descent.

"W…we're gonna be alright kids. We're gonna be…"

A shock threw the ship spinning, and Rick watched the world change into a kaleidoscope nightmare of spinning images after the massive garbage bot broadsided them. Morty was silent now, and as Rick tried to steady the craft he hoped Morty was alive.

He didn't remember the crash. He remembered waking up in a lot of pain after briefly blacking out. He saw Morty lying nearby, with half of his head crushed, one eye open and staring at him blankly.

He saw Summer's hand nearby, and in his shock it didn't immediately register that the hand wasn't attached to anything.

"NOOO!" he roared when it settled into his mind that Summer was buried under the wreckage, badly wounded if she was alive at all. He began throwing rubble, hoping that somehow she was alive. He ignored his own injuries, but as he saw a group of people running toward him he collapsed on the rubble. The last thing he saw was spotted people with long necks and large, worried eyes.

When he woke he had a few precious minutes while he lay confused in an alien hospital, only a few moments before he remembered.

"NOOO!" he shrieked again. A giraffe necked nurse rushed into his room.

Rick sat up. He was attached to an IV and various monitors.

"Where are my grandchildren? Tell me they're alive."

"Mr. Sanchez, you were badly injured. Stop moving around."

"Fuck that," Rick said. "W…where are they?"

Two burly nurses, alarmed by the noise, came in and restrained Rick when he tried to run, too confused to understand that he couldn't get far attached to hospital equipment.

One of them injected him with morphine, or something like it, and as the welcome oblivion claimed him Rick hoped he never woke again.

The hallucination ended, and Rick lay staring at Phoenix Person's ceiling.

"No!" he yelled, and Phoenix Person leapt out of bed, nude but ready to protect his mate.

Rick covered his face with his hands. "No," he said. "Not again."

Phoenix Person's feathers smoothed when he realized they weren't in danger.

"You were having hallucinations?" he asked.

"I saw it again," Rick said. "Morty's cr…crushed face, and Summer's detached hand. I don't know what that p…powder was cut with, but I am going to kill my dealer."

"Do you know where you are?" Phoenix Person asked.

"Yes," Rick said. "I'm in your nest."

"You cannot change the past," Phoenix Person said.

"No," Rick said. "I tried. T…time travel didn't…ulp…work out. Too many complications."

He remembered the jumble of weeks that followed as he lay, numb and uncaring, first in the hospital bed, and then later in a bed in a mental hospital. The giraffe people were kind, and they let him stay until he was ready to leave.

As he had walked out into the alien landscape his soul felt barren and lifeless. He looked at the people walking around him, and it felt strange to see other people smile in such a universe. He got directions to a liquor store, and after that he had never been sober for longer than it took to get the next drink.

Bird Person found him on the Giraffe planet, working as a storage facility guard so he could live without expending too much energy. They didn't even seem to mind that he drank on the job. Bird Person had brought Rick back to his nest and tended to him as his bruised mind healed. It was a nest in the Giraffe dimension, but it looked almost identical to the nests in other dimensions. There was only one Bird Person, as far as they knew. He was an anomaly.

Rick stayed there for a year, until Bird Person excitedly told him that he'd found a dimension whose Rick had either abandoned his family, or more likely died.

There was an unclaimed, unmutated, human Morty and Summer. They were the wrong ages, but they were alive!

And his Beth was there. It was more than he could have hoped for.

He had arrived with a slight buzz, not his general drunken state since the accident. He was never good with social interactions. He usually took the blunt, direct route. He hadn't before the accident, but afterwards he felt no patience with the universe.

A man opened the door. Rick immediately disliked the vacant, stupid stare. He had never talked with a Jerry before, but he'd seen them at Blitz and Chips day care, and he'd learned to avoid them.

He took his flask out of his coat and took a drink.

"Hi Jerry. I'm looking for B…Beth."

"And you are?" Jerry asked suspiciously.

"Her father, disphit. Wh…where is she?"

"You can't talk to me like that!" Jerry said.

Rick pushed his way into the house. "Nice place," he said. "Not many people can…urp…pull off suburban mediocrity like this. Good effort at least."

"Jerry, who is it?" Beth called from the kitchen.

"He says he's your father."

Beth ran into the living room. "Daddy?" she asked "Is it really you?"

"In the fl…urp…flesh," Rick said.

"Where were you?" she asked. "Why did you leave me and Mom?"

And Rick couldn't explain that he never left, that he would never abandon his family, because that's what the Rick from this dimension had done.

He took a long drink from his flask. "It's com…complicated. I'm gonna stay here for awhile, get to know you and the…urp…kids."

"The hell you are!" Jerry said. "You can't barge in here drunk, insult me, and demand to live here."

"Jerry, you have two seconds to st…stop talking, or I'm going to staple your mouth shut," Rick said.

Beth looked worried as she turned between her husband and father. "Of course you can stay," she said. "Jerry, I'm not losing him again after all these years."

"But I think…"

"I don't care what you think! "she yelled. "He's my father and I want him here."

Jerry pointed a finger at Rick, and Rick scoffed at the gesture.

"This isn't over," Jerry said.

"Oh, just go away, Jerry," Beth said.

Jerry straightened his posture. "I'm leaving now, because I want to leave." He headed toward the back of the house.

"Is that…ulp…is that what you picked to have my grandchildren with?" Rick asked.

"He's not that bad once you get to know him. Sit down. Tell me all about yourself."

Shit, Rick thought. I didn't plan any kind of back story.

"I'd rather hear about you," Rick said, plopping down on the overstuffed couch.

She told him her life story, how her mother had raised her alone, and then she'd become a horse surgeon and married Jerry and and had Summer and Morty, leaving out the part where she'd married Jerry because she was pregnant with Summer.

She spent most of her time talking about her accomplishments as a horse surgeon, not in an arrogant way, but in a needy manner that suggested she felt inferior.

Rick felt nothing. He had expected some instant connection, some spark between them, but all he saw was a neurotic woman who was going to be annoying as hell to deal with. She was nothing like his Beth.

But if he wanted to be near Morty and Summer he needed her to like him.

"Wow honey. I'm pr…proud of you, being a horse surgeon. That's so…urp…caring and sensitive."

It was all he could do to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, but he didn't think she noticed in her attention starved state.

The front door rattled as it was unlocked. "Oh, the kids are home," Beth said. When they came in she said, "Morty, Summer, I want you to meet your grandfather."

They were the wrong age, as Bird Person had said. Summer looked coolly distant. He could see his original Summer would have grown into this gangly youth who looked somewhat like himself.

His Summer was dead, and he felt no connection to the Summer in front of him, just a surge of pain.

Morty looked just like any other unmutated Morty from a compatible dimension. Rick remembered how his Morty had always wanted to help him work, even though he was so dumb that all he could do was hold the tools.

"H…hi," Morty stammered. "Are you really my grandpa?"

"Call me Rick, and don't get too excited about this. I'm here to s…see your Mom."

"But they're your grandchildren," Beth said.

"She's too ol…urp…old to be cuddly anymore, and he looks like your idiot h…husband."

"You don't mean that," Beth said. "He doesn't mean that kids. He's just tired from traveling, aren't you?"

"Sure," Rick said. "Whatever."

Summer and Morty went upstairs. Morty stopped on the stairs, stared at him, and flipped him off.

"Huh. That one has some spunk. N…never seen one with spunk before," Rick said. "That's going to be annoying."

Jerry came back with a cot, which he carried clumsily. "We can put this in the garage."

"Jerry. He can sleep on the couch until we can renovate the garage."

"Renovate the…? No. He can stay for a couple of days."

Beth ignored him. "Dinner should be just about ready. Do you like spaghetti?"

Rick shrugged and took another swig from his flask. "I'll eat wh…whatever doesn't move anymore. I'm not picky."

"And that's enough of that," Jerry said. "Put the flask away."

"So help me…urp…I…I…I'll buy a staple gun, Jerry."

"Kids," Beth called. "Dinner is ready."

Dinner was a suburban nightmare. Summer barely looked up from her phone, Morty watched him moodily, Jerry whined about his latest failures at work, and Rick continued getting drunker. Beth drank an entire bottle of wine by the end of the meal, and her hand was shaking.

Pathetic, Rick thought. He took a long drink from his flask.

"Alright, dipshit," he said to Jerry. "Show me where I'm sleeping."

Jerry took him to the garage. "I pulled the cars out. It won't hurt them to sit outside for a couple of days."

"It's fine," Rick said, looking around the room. "It will work."

"Just remember who is in charge here," Jerry said.

"From wh…what I've seen, that would be Beth."

He set the cot up in a corner. The garage was dirty, the ground was oil stained, and a few dusty shelves held chemicals and tools. He couldn't imagine Jerry being any good with tools, especially since a layer of dust and cobwebs covered most of them.

Better than nothing, I guess, he thought, and took a long pull at the flask.