A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks for coming back!
Firstly, I know there was a lot of confusion in the last chapter concerning Bella's eye color, and I attempted to respond to as many reviews as I could to explain this, and also posted on my Twilighted thread (link is in my profile) with an explanation. It was intentional, and does serve a purpose, I promise. :)
Second, I want to thank manyafandom for her review for this story on the TwiSlash blog. I have been a huge fan of your stories for a long time, and it really meant so much to me that you were enjoying one of mine. Thank you so much, Hopey!
Tiffany, thank you SO much for the hours you put into the superbeta job for this chapter and for all your words of encouragement. Karla, Erica and Lindsey, for being my sounding board and helping me out in my time of need, no matter how long it takes. Christina, for just being you and keeping me laughing. :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Edward, but this story and the Grneyeddoc is all mine :D
Chapter 6 ~Turning Point
This was the moment I had been waiting all weekend for; why am I so nervous?
I'd asked myself that question repeatedly after returning home from the airport that morning. And my anxiety only increased as I pulled out the silver shopping bag from Port Angeles that was stowed in the bottom of my luggage.
A weekend home visiting my parents was something I usually enjoyed and savored. Spending a few days in the quiet, peaceful surroundings of Forks, after living in the mayhem that was LA for the past three years, I would come back feeling refreshed. I missed my parents and my friends; hell, I even missed the rain.
It was home.
Yet, sitting in my old room on my first night back, I felt empty. As if something very vital were missing.
Edward.
The past few weeks had been amazing. Not only because of the mind blowing orgasms that incredibly sexy voice evoked, but getting to know the man underneath; which was, surprisingly, even sexier. From what I had learned, I couldn't for the life of me understand how any woman in her right mind would have let that man go, or even worse, pass him by in the first place.
That led me to wonder what kind of women he went after; that wouldn't find him worth waiting at home for. I admired him for what he did and all that he sacrificed, while they seemed to judge him for it. I could never fathom disregarding everything that was so important to him in a selfish need to be with him. The time we had spent apart, as much as I missed him, made the time we spent together all the more precious, something to look forward to.
Balancing school and a job, though far from the hectic environment of the ER, I understood the demands placed upon him. Personal time was a luxury and home should be a place of comfort and acceptance, especially while in a relationship. If you care about someone, you should cherish the moments you have with them, not punish them for the time you don't.
That fact also piqued my curiosity about his appearance, as well, as shallow as that made me feel. Yet, it also made me realize that I didn't truly care what he looked like. The man underneath was far more appealing and beautiful than any appearance he could have.
He was compassionate and considerate, successful and intelligent. It was easy to talk to him, and he always listened to everything I had to say. That the women around him could be so selfish boggled my mind.
It was my appearance that I was concerned about. Not that I was entirely without my own appeal; the changing shades of my eyes depicting my mood being only one thing that seemed to intrigue. But certainly nothing that would jump out and grab a man like Edward. He seemed to love the fact that I was a brunette instead of the stereotypical blue-eyed, buxom blonde, and we had amazing conversations outside of the sexual realm.
And even though every detail I had given Edward about my appearance had elicited such incredible responses—and sounds—from him, I also knew better.
Men like breasts. Mine were barely B-cups.
They liked long legs. 5'4"... any questions?
They like curves. Yeah, don't have those, either.
The fact that I was afraid I had little to offer unnerved me, as did the ache I felt after being away from him.
The week he was on call was hell. Everything was so up in the air for us, so confusing. The fact that I actually missed him, more than just the lack of release, was concerning. I missed his voice, the soft sound of his laugh, and his soothing presence I could feel, even from thousands of miles away.
The previous few days had been rough. Without the Internet, being back in my parents' house meant relying solely on my Blackberry for any contact with the outside world. Normally, this would have been refreshing, but when it cut me off from my world with Edward, I was restless.
I had intended to tease him a little more the previous night before bed, just to feel that connection with him. But after seeing what I could only refer to as his "pretty" cock, with his amazingly long, beautiful fingers splayed around it, I found myself in desperate need of a shower.
I missed all that once again, but the level of distraction it had caused was no longer concerning, but disturbing. I daydreamed of him constantly, losing count of how often my father said my name, bringing my attention back to the present. I hardly slept at all during the night, wishing I could be back in my apartment instead, with him and my laptop.
That was not helping to ease the fears I felt. I had become so reliant on him that when he asked about the webcam, I went into a panic, evaluating my options. If I said 'no', I risked losing our time together or limiting it, as well as coming off boring. Men enjoyed women who were willing to explore.
But if I said 'yes', I risked the same thing. If he found me unattractive, why would he ever come back?
That was a risk I wasn't willing to take, which didn't just disturb me. That scared me.
All of those things were running through my mind as I stepped into the lingerie store in Port Angeles the previous afternoon. I had made the decision the night before that when I got back, the webcam was making its debut, and I was going to be ready for it.
I had already been buffed, plucked and waxed within an inch of my life, and all I needed was the right apparel. First, I bought a pair of black strap heels that I would normally never look twice at, and never actually wear if I were going anywhere but my own bedroom. But they made my legs appear longer, and as I walked through the lingerie store with my hoodie and sunglasses in place, I found the perfect accent.
A black corset top, cut low in the front to give a full view of my cleavage, while enhancing it at the same time. Tiny black panties, barely more than scraps of lace would ride high on my hip; again adding more illusion of length to my legs.
I bought it without another thought, and when I tried it on after my parents had gone to bed, I couldn't help but smile at my reflection. I might be plain, but the good doctor wouldn't know what hit him.
Or so I thought, until I found myself staring into the face of what had to be the most sinfully gorgeous man I had ever seen.
Everything from his hair in insane disarray as if he'd spent hours running his hands through it, the determined set of his green eyes, and the perfect angles of his jaw. Not a single flaw, and far beyond anything I had conjured up in my own mind over past few weeks.
I was breathless; I had braced myself for anything but that. My breaths became small gasps of air as my hand closed tightly around my breast in response.
"Your turn, baby," he said softly.
You can do this, Bella, I told myself.
Nodding slowly, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Through every sigh and profane growl, my confidence built. So far, so good.
Panning the camera up my body for him, I lifted the screen of my laptop, finally revealing my face to him.
I could hear his breaths coming through the mic but he remained otherwise quiet.
And he was killing my nerves.
"Open your eyes, Bella."
Here goes.
With another long draw of breath, I finally brought my gaze back to the screen to look at him, watching his Adam's apple rise as he swallowed loudly. His eyes flickered slightly over the screen, the silence driving me insane. Anything would be better than nothing right now.
"Hello, gorgeous," I said with a nervous smile, running my fingers through my hair, brushing it back from my face.
He grinned before covering his mouth with his fingertips. Shaking his head, he rested on his elbows in front of him. "God, Bella. You're fucking beautiful."
The wonder and amazement in his tone made me blush from the nerves. Biting my lip, I lowered my eyes.
"Thanks. You, too," I whispered and then my eyes shot up as he chuckled, covering my face with my hands. I just called him beautiful to his face! "I mean, you're very good looking. Not even close to what I was anticipating."
His soft laughter continued and I heard the creaking of his chair, and I dropped my hands to see him leaning comfortably back, rubbing his chin with his hand. "What were you expecting, Bella? The Hunchback?"
"Well, you never know, with the Internet," I teased back, more at ease with the sight of his relaxed posture. "It's nice to see the face attached to the voice, though."
"I agree," he replied, his smile widening and my heart began to pound more. The way his entire face brightened with such a simple gesture was incredible... only serving to make him far more sexy and appealing. "I like the outfit, too."
"Was it too much?" I asked, noting the way his brow lifted as he cleared his throat.
"Not. At. All," he breathed, shaking his head for emphasis. "That was something I was certainly not expecting. But shit, you look fucking amazing. Just feeling a little overdressed here."
"Well, then even things up a little and lose the shirt," I taunted, raising my eyebrows. As breathtaking as it was, that picture was a tease. I was aching to see the rest of him.
He smirked and muted the mic before standing, his face disappearing as those long fingers lifted his shirt. Involuntarily, I traced along my inner thigh, envisioning his hands doing the touching.
As the first hint of his muscular abdomen appeared, I sighed at the light dusting of hair trailing beneath the button of his jeans. Thank god, he doesn't wax! I thought to myself, having always had a fixation for the 'treasure trail' on men, as long as it wasn't excessive.
My gaze drifted up as I soaked in everything; the lines of his muscles were not excessively defined, but still taut and firm. Not a gym buff, obviously, but he certainly did take care of himself. And again, I was stunned that some woman actually willingly gave him up. Her loss, my incredible gain.
For a moment, his shirt balled in his hands in front of him, obstructing my view and I let out a soft growl of displeasure before he tossed it aside. Lowering himself back down into the chair, I watched him move, licking my lips at how beautiful he truly was. The broad shoulders and the expanse of his chest were begging for my hands. He replaced the headset and I could practically envision my nails digging into his biceps as they flexed.
I bit my lip and swung my legs off the bed to stand, leaning over the laptop and turning it to face me. I lingered over it for a moment, giving him a purposeful view of my cleavage, to which he half-growled, half-groaned. "Nice view, baby."
"I think I can give you a better one," I teased seductively, loosening the ties on the front of my corset a little more with each step. It would never cease to amaze me, the boldness he brought out with the smallest encouragements. It was invigorating.
With the knowledge of his approval, for once, speaking my mind, saying what I wanted, and even shedding my clothes in front of a man, didn't scare me or send me running for the light switch. I realized, as I loosened the corset top, loop by loop, that he made me feel sexy.
"Show me, Bella," he whispered huskily and I pulled the fabric apart, sliding it off my shoulders. I watched him shift his position in the chair. "Holy shit."
A triumphant smile came across my lips. "You like?" I teased, crawling back onto the bed toward my laptop.
"Like?" he asked with widened eyes and a raised brow. "That picture didn't do you justice. I don't know if it would be possible for me to 'like' any more."
I moaned softly at the deep, resonating sound of his voice as he spoke, settling back against the pillows again. I had missed him, our time together, and everything so much. Moving my laptop, I adjusted it to give him a view of as much of my body as possible. "Well, let's see if your picture did you justice."
He chuckled again and stood, his waistline filling the screen. I sat with full attention as long, amazing fingers worked the button of his jeans.
"Have I told you that I love your hands?" I whispered, my own fingers tracing lightly along the lace rim of my panties now.
"You may have mentioned that," he laughed, pushing his pants over his hips, the boxer briefs underneath accentuating the prominent bulge hidden behind them.
Oh fuck, why is he so far away? I asked myself as my hand slid between my thighs, teasing my aching clit already. After so long without him and seeing him that way, I was impatient.
My eyes followed the subtle 'V' of his abdomen as he also lowered the briefs, leaving him completely exposed to me. A shiver of pleasure shot through my body, straight to the already pulsing need I felt for him.
"God, I wish you were here," I whispered as my fingertips pressed more firmly against my panties.
"No more than I do, baby," he replied as he sat down and I let out a soft whimper as the lower half of his body disappeared from my view on the screen. He smirked and rolled back his chair back, giving me a full shot of his face, his torso, the tops of his thighs ... and his erection. Dear God. "Better?"
"Mmm, much. You read my mind," I moaned, my gaze running over the length of his body.
"Good. Now, read mine," he said suggestively. Then he winked.
Smiling at his challenge, I pushed myself off the bed and stepped out of the camera's view, earning a growl from the other end.
"That's not right, Bella," he groaned, one hand gripping the armrest of his chair, while the other wrapped around his length and began their movements.
"Patience, Dr. Cullen," I teased, sliding my panties down my legs and stepping out of them. In a burst of inspiration, I decided to tease him, dangling the fabric in front of the camera.
"Really not right," he growled, shifting his hips. Apparently, I'm not the only impatient one…
"Can't take a little suspense?" I asked in a sultry voice, letting the scrap of lace fall from my fingertips.
"Oh, please let me see you," he pleaded in a soft voice.
I stepped in front of the camera slowly, trailing my hand between my breasts, down my abdomen, finally brushing against the soft, bare skin between my legs.
"Fucking hell," he growled, cupping his hand over his length and closing his eyes briefly with clenched teeth. "Can you lay down for me?"
I propped myself seductively on the bed, our eyes meeting, staring.
"Put the cam between your legs and show me," he continued in a husky tone and I complied, adjusting it so he could see the full length of my body. "God. So perfect, Bella."
Perfect. My heart swelled at his praise, at the way he said those words. He meant it and my confidence soared higher. I had this effect on him. It was my name falling from those perfect lips.
I licked my own, trailing my hand down my thigh and resting between my legs, not quite touching yet, as much as I really wanted to. Watching his hand was far more arousing than I ever thought it would be. Knowing that his erection, every moan and sigh was caused by me, was empowering.
"Fuck, I've missed you," I whispered softly without thinking, and the nervous butterflies returned as I realized what I said.
"I've missed you, too," he replied with a soft sigh, and I reopened my eyes to look at him, seeing nothing but sincerity in his eyes.
"Really?" I asked, in spite of the expression written clearly on his face.
A small smile broke across his lips and he nodded. "Yes, Bella, really. I've missed you."
You. He emphasized you. Not 'this' or 'it', but 'you'. And that, by far, was the sexiest thing he'd ever said to me.
"I want you," I sighed truthfully, closing my eyes and leaning my head back slightly as my fingers circled my clit.
"You're so wet for me. Fuck," he growled and I looked at him, watching the pure lust on his face, his eyes remaining locked on his screen. "Can you slide your fingers inside? Let me see how tight you are."
My hand moved along my slickened skin as he asked. My impatience returned now that we were past introductions. I moaned as two of my fingers slid inside me, beginning my process of teasing, sliding and touching, overwhelming sensations rushing. The knowledge that he was watching every moment heightened everything.
"Add another one for me…" he whispered, his voice gritty.
I bit my lip as I withdrew my hand, re-entering a moment later with a third finger for him. "Oh fuck, Edward." My back arched slightly off the bed.
"Damn, you're so fucking beautiful," he grunted. With those words, I opened my eyes, seeing the muscles in his neck tensing as we pleasured ourselves together, his hand stroking feverishly. "I'm not going to last long like this, baby."
"Me, either," I panted, swallowing hard and moistening my dry lips with my tongue. I imagined him next to me, teasing me, those fingers just a slice of foreplay. "Fuck me, Edward. Please," I moaned, wanton and desperate.
"Spread your legs wider, Bella. And close your eyes," he said, his voice low and sexy. His request pushed me to move faster, and I groaned loudly at the new sensations caused by the thrusting of my hand, my fingertips striking that spot deep inside me. Remembering his request, I lowered my knees to the mattress, closing my eyes and knowing exactly what would come now.
"You feel me?" he asked, a slight shake in his voice as he stroked himself faster.
"Yes," I hissed. "More." My chest rose and fell with each breath.
"Deeper, baby. I want to feel you deeper," he growled and I began moving my hand faster and harder, striking my clit roughly with my palm. Imagining him above me, those beautiful lips caressing mine, those long fingers weaving into my hair as he claimed my body.
"Oh God, Edward. I'm gonna come," I whimpered, feeling the tension build with every pass. I imagined him inside me, thrusting, speeding up.
"Look at me now, Bella," he said huskily. My eyes flashed to the lidded green of his. "I want to watch you come for me."
That was all I needed to hear.
"Ohshitfuck," I cried, my legs trembling as I lost myself. "Edward, oh my God."
My moans echoed in the room and I fought to keep my eyes open as the force of my orgasm took over. My palm rubbed vigorously against my swollen skin and I shook violently, but my eyes never left his. The high began to recede, but the pleasure only increased as I watched him find his own release. He kept eye contact, his green gaze narrowing into mine.
With an open mouth, I watched him in awe—panting and euphoric—entranced by the sheer magnificence of seeing Edward in the midst of orgasm. His tightened jaw as he hissed between clenched teeth, the creases deepening in his forehead, his eyes closing unbiddenly, but I didn't mind. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
His eyes finally fluttered open and his features slowly relaxed, a gentle smile gracing his features as he looked at me. "Just when I thought this couldn't get any better..."
"I know," I concurred as his voice trailed off. "I might spontaneously combust next time at this rate."
Our laughs blended together as he rolled closer to the desk, turning his head to reach for something beside him, giving me an amazing view of his profile. I hadn't noticed his nose was slightly crooked at the bridge, as if it had been broken at some point, or his perfect lips that pouted slightly, or the stubble along his angled jaw. He wasn't just sexy and beautiful, he was handsome. Once again, I felt the stirrings of the now familiar ache inside me of being so far away from him. And the arousal.
Damn, give yourself, and him, a chance to recover from the last one, Bella, I mentally scolded myself, pulling a light fleece over me, staring at his face the entire time.
"Don't cover yourself up, baby," he said in a soft tone, raising his eyes briefly from his abdomen to look at me and lowering them again.
"It's a little chilly. I have my window open and even California gets a little cool in November on occasion," I chuckled, hugging the blanket around my chest.
"So, close the window," he shrugged, tossing a towel aside and finally bringing his gaze back to me.
"I can't sleep with the window closed. It's a weird quirk, I guess," I replied softly, my eyes lowering.
"Bella, it's barely two o'clock there," he laughed and shook his head. "And who said anything about sleeping."
So, I wasn't the only one ready for another round.
"You're going to be the death of me, Mr. Cullen," I teased.
x-x-x
Over the next few days, he nearly was the death of me.
Our comfort level with each other had grown by leaps and bounds since that first experience with the webcam, and since then, we didn't have a single night without them. And in the time we were apart, we filled it with texts and voice messages.
Then one morning, he sent me a picture of him in his office, in his scrubs and white jacket ... with his erection in plain sight.
Payback for the dirty message, my naughty little vixen. But I agree. ~E
I smirked at how much I loved the possessive side of him, but also the memory from the night before. After he had logged off, I lay back on my bed and snapped a picture of myself with my laptop still between my legs, fingers pinching my clit and my head thrown back. Opening my photo editing program, and typed the words 'Wish you were here' across my abdomen.
I spent so long staring at the picture of him; I hadn't noticed the light turning green until a blaring horn sounded from behind me. Tossing my phone onto the passenger seat, I stepped on the gas and the car behind me squealed its tires and swerved around me.
"Pay attention, you stupid bitch. Or get off the damn road!" the driver yelled out his window, flipping me the bird in the process.
"Learn some manners, asshole!" I yelled back, returning the gesture and laid on my horn as he cut in front of me. "Motherfucker! I hate LA, I hate LA, I hate LA."
I continued my mantra all the way to campus, still shaking slightly, trying to control my breathing and calm my pounding heart.
As I parked, I leaned my head back against the seat to collect myself before retrieving my phone to reply to him.
Damn you and your sexy body. You've pissed off an LA driver. Dangerous move. ~B
I was barely out of the car and walking toward my first class when my phone buzzed against my hip.
Oh my god, I'm sorry. Are you okay? ~E
I couldn't help but smile at the concern emanating from his text, and immediately replied to ease his anxiety.
I'm fine. You can make it up to me later. Loved the scrubs btw. ;) ~B
You know I will. Be careful and I'll see you when I get home. I'll leave the scrubs on. ~E
"Oh, God," I whimpered softly, picturing him taking out his erection, stroking it for me in his chair. Like he was on a dirty lunch break, possibly thinking about me and reliving one of our sessions in his mind. I found myself wondering if he'd ever done that at work… in his office…
Suddenly, I looked down at my watch and found that my imagination running away with me, in addition to the traffic mishap, had caused me to run late.
Quickly, I hit the bathroom before class. And that's when I saw it.
"Fuck!" I shouted loudly into the empty room.
My period had always been somewhat irregular, but it always appeared at the most inopportune moments. Couldn't have happened while I was in Forks, away from Edward? When I didn't need him as much as I did right at that moment?
Of course not.
And with absolutely no warning this time.
Could this day get any worse?
Sitting in my first class, I pondered what to do. He was a physician, but that was too awkward. There was no way I was telling him what was really going on.
Before I could think on it any more, Alice appeared.
"Hey Bella!" she called out from across the green. She ran toward me, speaking before I could even greet her. "Before you say no, hear me out. A bunch of us are getting together as a kind of group date sort of thing and I'd really like you to meet this guy, Jasper, I've been seeing. No wild parties or drinking, just dinner. Please, it will be fun?"
"Little problem, Alice. No date," I replied, having no desire to be the third wheel yet again.
"Already covered," she smiled. "His name is Riley, so sweet, so cute, and so perfect for you."
I sighed heavily, rubbing my forehead.
"No expectations, Bella," she continued, "And you know I'd never set you up on a blind date if he was anything but a gentleman."
Alice always meant well and I trusted her judgment, but that wasn't why I agreed. Her big brown eyes were pleading with me, making it impossible to refuse her.
"Just dinner," I warned, my eyes narrowing. Meaning well sometimes led to more than 'just dinner'—to those wild parties she referenced.
She nodded in response. "Yay! You won't be sorry. I'll pick you up at five so we can go together!" she rushed out, releasing me from a bone-crushing hug before hurrying away to her next class.
I settled down on the grass, a twinge of guilt tugging at me. This would be the first time since everything started with Edward that I'd be away from him voluntarily, and it was for a blind date.
But why did I feel guilty?
Of course, I was very attracted to Edward. I enjoyed his company immensely and had the best sex life I'd had in years, if that's what it could be considered; but he was in Chicago and I was in LA. There weren't a whole lot of options for anything more without one of us uprooting our entire lives. In reality, neither was feasible. His job, his family, his life were all in Chicago and my heart was set on returning to Washington once I graduated. And how long could a 'relationship' such as ours really last with the distance?
What we had was great for the time being, but deep down, I knew the likelihood of it going further was slim. Did I have an obligation to him? We hadn't discussed anything about us, and for good reason. Again, it wasn't like we could actually make it anything more without some serious… everything.
For the first time, that realization sunk in. But what could I do? I enjoyed him and he enjoyed me, and we were both lonely. It was safe and new and fun. There was no harm in what we were doing, what we shared.
So where did that leave me? Us? My thoughts drifted back to my confusion over what type of women I had assumed he had dated before, being a gorgeous, successful doctor. I wasn't sure what kind of women he had pursued in the past, or what he expected from me, but I really had no choice but to be myself. Being myself meant being honest and open, with no secrets.
Thinking hard, I decided that no commitments existed between us, but I still had an attachment to him that was extraordinary. Whatever we were to each other, more than friends and not really lovers, he was a good man and one that deserved the truth.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket, drawing in a hesitant breath and letting it out shakily. Even though I was already emotionally invested in Edward, in reality, I couldn't give him what he needed to be happy. Sometimes words and letters cannot express what one feels for the other, and touch is more significant in a person's time of need. At that time, we needed each other for release. And although I would love for there to be more, I knew that couldn't happen.
I wanted to come home from a bad day and curl up in his arms.
I wanted to kiss his lips and tell him everything would be all right after losing a patient.
I wanted so many things and I had no idea if I was the only one feeling this way, and no one to turn to for advice. Even Alice, as free spirited as she was, wouldn't understand the situation. I'd never been in a meaningful relationship, and the first time I felt as if I wanted to be in one, it was unconventional, to say the least.
That moment was going to be the turning point; I felt it as I pressed send.
Change of plans. Going to dinner with a friend. Talk to you soon. xo ~B
I grabbed my notebook from my bag to start my homework when my phone buzzed against my thigh.
A friend? Female? ~E
I sighed heavily and bit my lip, frowning as I typed the truth. As if he was standing right in front of me.
No. ~B
A/N 2: Okay... trust me on this? Just as with the hazel/green eyes on Bella, there is a plan and purpose to this. And I swear not to keep you all waiting for too long for the good doctor's POV.