Author: yue kato
Written: 080502Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or the books, or the movie. Or the actors. The quotes at the beginning of each chapter are lyrics from Catatonia's album 'International Velvet'.
Notes: This is not a long part. It could probably be seen as more of an interlude or a bridge between what has happened before and after.
Well, I don't mind the rain, if you would feel the same…
Lean on me, maybe you could see it through,
If you would only believe a single word is true…
It had seemed like a millennia since the wolf had been allowed to run free, unfettered by magic or chemicals, even though, in reality, it had only been for a few short months since his return to Hogwarts. The beast howled in exultation as it raced through the trees, bloodlust coursing through its veins, searching for some unwitting prey to pounce on, though it was unlikely that any creature to be found in the Forbidden Forest would go down that easily. But more than anything, it basked in its freedom, its control, roaring its joy and triumph.
The only thing that could possibly make it even more perfect, would be if the one it had marked as mate was here. But it sensed that the human was in Hogwarts, protected within the stone walls itself, and its animal cunning and survival instinct kept it from veering towards the castle, keeping to the boundaries demarcated by the broad tree trunks.
Instead, it decided to indulge itself in the thrill of the hunt – of what it did not yet know, but it was bound to come across something promising sooner or later in this magical forest.
While it sped through the undergrowth, baying occasionally at the pearl-white eye of the full moon, the consciousness that identified itself as Remus Lupin could only sit back and wait.
And remember.
***
He could recall many things as the curse upon him took tangible shape. It seemed that he never remembered things as clearly and sharply as when he was forced to retreat deep into his own consciousness – being squashed into the backseat of his brain honed his awareness to a point, even as the inner beast emerged to bare its fangs.
He remembered the Hogwarts library in early spring, several lifetimes ago – the first tentative touches, the wary response, the subsequent yielding. Nights beneath the starlit sky, and whispered declarations carried away upon the wind.
He remembered the Shrieking Shack at the height of midsummer, the night immature spite and cruelty exacted a price that echoed down the years, leaving him perpetually in its debt. The night the wolf found its mate.
The bitter tang of coffee and rejection coloured his memories, mixed with the blood red from a shattered heart. Whose, he wasn't really sure anymore.
There was the running, the never-ending attempts to escape to ever farther corners of the globe, ever lonelier depths. Fighting against a siren call across the miles of mountain and sea. Finally succumbing, and crawling back to where it had started. To where he had always wanted to be.
He remembered seeing Snape again on that dreary autumn day he stepped into Hogwarts once more. Tracing the other's features with his eyes as his hands had longed to do. The ache within at the indifference, the apparent distance; and the insidious hope arising from the slightest falter in the dark-haired man's reserve.
Each painful stumble, every hard-won inch forward was picked up and replayed. Right up until the end of last winter, when the thawing rains had showered upon the earth, melting the Potions Master's defences along with it.
***
"What do you want, Remus?"
He had been standing there in the middle of the room for nearly five minutes, not having said a word, eyes merely following Snape as he went about the room, rearranging items, clearing up whatever he had doing prior to Lupin's interruption.
The question shot at him unexpectedly, accompanied by Snape's sharp gaze, and he was struck dumb, staring at the man's exhausted features until he looked away, running a hand through his hair wearily. It appeared that much of the fight had gone out of the Slytherin.
"I…" The tangle of emotion jumbled within him struck in his throat, refusing to be given a voice. He shut his mouth, and moved closer to Snape instead, approaching the armchair the other man had sat down heavily upon. He had never been adept with words, never mastered the art of flaying with the tongue as Snape and Sirius had. His forte had lain with action.
And, he decided, the time for speech had long been past.
He came to a stop in front of Snape and knelt down so he was looking up into the other's eyes. The dark irises reflected the dancing flames, seemingly hinting at their owner's internal turmoil.
Slowly, he reached out, arms encircling the thin waist to let his fingers meet and interlock behind Snape's back. Then he laid his head down upon his lap, the heat emanating from the Potion Master's body warming his cheek.
It wasn't the most comfortable of positions, but it felt… right. And with his body and touch, he tried to convey all that his words could not say. His remorse, his regret, his bitterness and anger, the pain and desperation, but above all, his desire and love.
He learnt the taste of heaven shortly after.
When Snape's legs parted to allow him even closer, and trembling, lean arms embraced him in return.
fin
A/N: I apologise for the progressive shortness of each chapter, but I feel it best to end there for the moment. I've already written more than that, and hopefully it will become the final chapter, which I am determined to get out before the beginning of next week *crosses her fingers* ^_~
Once again, thank you very much to the lovely reviewers – the amount of feedback I'm getting for this fic has definitely surpassed my expectations, and it has truly encouraged me to write more ^_^