First of all, I'm so sorry for the lack of update. But school's over now, so hopefully I'll have the last chapter up sooner (:
Secondly - DHFDFSGKFG THAT FINALE OH MY GOODNESS MY FINCHEL HEART.
Okay, now onto the actual update. ;) Thanks for sticking with me through this story, you guys.
and i could write a book, the one they'll say that shook
the world and then it took, it took it back from me
and i could write it down and spread it all around,
get lost and then get found, and you'll come back to me
not swallowed in the sea
vi.
"I don't know about this, Finn," she says hesitantly, gripping the broomstick tightly. "You really don't have to keep a silly promise we made when we were eleven."
He chuckles from his spot behind her. "But I want to. Now, grip your hands like this…" She blushes as he places his hands on top of hers to position them.
"Like that?" she asks.
"Just like that," he confirms. "Now, when I tell you to, push off of the ground with your legs, okay?"
"I don't know if this is a good idea. Isn't it… dangerous?"
"Rach, I fly all the time. I promise you'll be fine. Plus, I'm with you, and you know I won't let anything happen to you, right?"
She nods, taking in a shaky breath. "Okay, I'm ready."
"Okay," he says quietly, and he wraps his arms around her waist. She shivers slightly, but she hopes he just thinks it's due to the light breeze.
"When I say push, push off the ground," he whispers into her ear, and she nods.
"Okay," he mutters. "Push!"
She does as she's told, and she gasps as her feet leave the ground and she's hovering in midair.
"Don't panic," Finn instructs, readjusting his hand on her waist, his fingers ghosting over her shirt. Her heart pounds in her chest, and it's not because she's no longer on solid ground. "Just lean forward slightly."
She leans, shooting forward in a burst of speed. She screams, sitting back up.
Finn laughs. "Slightly, Rach, not full throttle!"
She huffs. "This isn't easy for me, Finn. I'm not a natural like you."
"No, you're really doing great, Rach," he tells her. "Really great. Let's just try it again, okay?"
She sighs. "Okay."
(f&r-f&r-f&r)
It's not so much that she goes to Hogsmeade with Sam, it's more like she ends up bumping into him outside of the Three Broomsticks and they decide to get a drink.
"Where are Finn, Noah, and Kurt?" she asks as they find a table towards the back, next to some rowdy Hufflepuff fourth years.
Sam shrugs. "Kurt's with Blaine, I suppose. If they aren't official yet, they will be, soon. And Finn and Puck went into Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, I think. Puckerman said he needed some more joke wands to give to the first years."
Rachel rolls her eyes. "Figures."
"What about Tina and Mercedes?"
Rachel sighs. "Mercedes is sick, so she stayed behind. And ever since Tina and Artie got together, she's been spending pretty much every waking moment with him. Not that I'm not happy for her," she adds hastily.
"Kind of like you and Finn?" Sam asks, raising an eyebrow.
Rachel feels heat rise into her cheeks, glancing down at her mug of butterbeer. "Finn and I aren't together," she says quietly.
Sam scoffs. "Please, Rachel, I've seen the way you two look at each other. It's love."
She chuckles, but it's humorless. "I don't think it is, for him." She clears her throat. "We're best friends, and that's it."
Sam rolls his eyes. "Rachel, you and Finn have something special, and you'd both be dumb to let that get away."
She gives him a small smile. "You really think so, Sam?"
"'Course," he says.
She and Sam finish their butterbeer, and then he accompanies her outside. He holds the door open for her and places his hand delicately on her back as she shrugs on her jacket. She smiles at him lightly, and he smiles back.
"Dude, what the hell?"
She turns to see Finn and Noah standing in front of them, Finn seething with anger, and Noah with hand over his mouth, shaking with silent laughter.
"I was just having a drink with Rachel," Sam says nonchalantly.
"You're looking quite cozy though," Finn spits out.
Rachel purses her lips and puts her hands on her hips. "I didn't see you offering to take me out, Finn Hudson, so I don't see why you'd care."
He opens his mouth and then shuts it again.
"Can I take this moment to say that Berry totally burned you just now?" Noah asks, laughing.
Finn glares at him. "So you and Evans?" he asks Rachel pointedly.
She sighs. "No. We're just friends." She pauses. "And don't call him Evans, Finn. He's your friend, and he just noticed that I didn't have anyone to spend time with here, so he offered to keep me company."
He looks uncomfortable. "You could've tagged along with me and Puck…"
She glares at him.
He sighs. "Can I talk to you alone for a second?"
She has half a mind to say 'no,' but before she can, Sam mutters something about Transfiguration homework and grabs Puck by the arm, dragging him back toward the castle, despite his protests.
Finn takes a step closer to Rachel. "Help me out here, Rach. I don't know what you want me to say."
She rolls her eyes. "Just tell me what you're thinking, Finn. What you feel. I mean…" She lowers her gaze, looking at the cobblestones. "You can't just play with my emotions. You can't keep me all to yourself and never define what we are."
She glances up at him. His brow is furrowed in confusion. "What we are…" he repeats slowly.
"I can't do this back and forth, Finn," she whispers quietly. "My heart can't take it. So either you want to be with me, or you don't."
He stares at her. He swallows.
She waits.
"Rach, I… I don't wanna screw this up." She's startled by how quiet his voice is, how he lowers his gaze. He swallows thickly. "It's just… you're my best friend. And I have these… feelings for you, but I can't act on them yet, because I don't know how to do it without screwing all of this up."
She nods slowly, because he makes sense. "I have feelings for you, too, you know," she tells him quietly.
The corner of his mouth twitches and he gives her a half-smile. "So can we just… do this for a little bit? Meet halfway. I mean, I wanna be with you, Rach, I really do. I just…" He looks at her helplessly. "I just don't want to lose this."
She swallows the tears that are welling up in her throat, and she nods. "I can do that, Finn. At least for now."
He holds out his hand. She looks hesitantly up at him.
"Please, Rach?" He pouts. "I just want to walk you back to the castle. I won't send you any mixed signals, I swear. No attempts to kiss you or anything."
"Okay," she finds herself saying, and as she grips his hand within hers, she tries to calm the erratic beating of her heart. She can't tell him that, mixed signal or not, she wants him to kiss her more than anything.
(f&r-f&r-f&r)
On the first day of March, Headmistress McGonagall announces that they will be holding a spring ball for all the students who are fourth years and up.
Kurt starts planning right away.
"Blaine and I will have to get matching dress robes, of course," he mutters, walking back and forth in the prefect commons as Rachel watches in amusement. "I'm thinking a light blue, or maybe a dark green…" He stops, turning to survey Rachel. "And we'll have to get you a dress, of course."
Rachel feels her cheeks burn. "I'm not going, Kurt."
Kurt gasps. "Wash your mouth out, Rachel Berry! Of course you're going!"
She shakes her head. "Everyone is supposed to bring a date, Kurt. If I go without one, I'll just look like an even bigger loser than I already am."
"You'll have a date," Kurt assures her.
Rachel looks at him doubtfully.
"Oh, come on, Rachel, Finn's bound to ask you and you know it."
She sighs. "I doubt it." She proceeds to tell Kurt what he said about not wanting to ruin their friendship.
"But he has feelings for you," Kurt persists.
Rachel shrugs. "Supposedly."
Kurt pauses, nodding slightly. "Then he'll ask you."
She rolls her eyes but she doesn't argue. It's no use anyway.
(f&r-f&r-f&r)
Surprisingly, (at least to Rachel) Noah is the first one to get a date for the ball. He comes striding into Transfiguration ten minutes late, earning him a warning from Professor Weasley, but he just shrugs it off and grins as he takes the only empty seat, which is next to Rachel.
Once the professor leaves them to silencing their ravens, Rachel glances over at Noah.
"So, what's got you all excited?"
He smiles. "I just asked Quinn Fabray to the ball, and she said yes."
"Aww." Rachel can't help cooing, and Noah shoots her a dirty look. "It must have been quite romantic since you were gone for ten minutes."
"Uh, well, I mean…" Rachel can't say she's ever seen Noah look flustered until now. "I just asked her. And she said yes."
Rachel is astounded. "And that took ten minutes?"
He smirks. "Well, we may have found an empty broom cupboard after that, and what we did in there took ten minutes."
Rachel rolls her eyes. "You're disgusting, Noah."
He waggles his eyebrows. "You're just jealous that you and Hudson haven't made it that far yet."
She feels her cheeks burn. "Don't talk about things you know nothing about, Noah," she hisses.
He raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Geez, Berry, I was just joking—"
"Well I didn't find it funny," she snaps, raising her hand. "Professor? May I be excused to use the restroom?"
Professor Weasley gives her assent, and Rachel stands up and rushes out of the classroom, wiping at her eyes. She doesn't know why, but Noah teasing her about not really being with Finn hurts more than it should. She just loves him so much, and she feels like because he's holding back, there's no way he can feel the same way she does.
She makes it into the bathroom before she starts sobbing uncontrollably. She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror, her face contorted from crying, and she wonders how she could've ever thought that she and Finn could really be together. Obviously him saying that he didn't want to screw anything up was his way of letting her down gently, telling her he didn't feel the same way.
She takes in a shaky breath, but the tears come faster than ever.
(f&r-f&r-f&r)
She finally comes out of the bathroom an hour later, when Transfiguration is over. The Gryfffindor sixth years have a free period next, so she plans on heading up to her dormitory and curling up in her bed, shutting herself off from everyone, but mostly Noah and Finn.
So to say that she's surprised to see Quinn Fabray waiting outside for her in the corridor is an understatement.
"What are you doing here?" Rachel asks bluntly. The last thing she needs is for Quinn Fabray to kick her when she's down.
Quinn frowns. "Puck told me what happened. I just… I came to see if you're okay."
Rachel wipes at her eyes. "And why would you care?"
Quinn flinches, then takes in a deep breath. "I owe you an apology, Rachel. I was… I was terrible to you. I just… I knew, even then, that Finn would rather be with you, and it killed me. So I did the only thing I thought I could, which was belittle you and, and… and make you feel worthless. Like you didn't matter. And in the end… In the end it cost me what I was trying to protect." Quinn shrugs. "It was always you for him, Rachel. I shouldn't have messed with that."
Rachel gapes at her. "I just… what? I just… I don't understand. He never… he never really picked me, though."
"Yes, he did," Quinn says slowly. "He dumped me for you."
"That was a year ago," Rachel whispers. "Why hasn't he done anything about it, then?"
Quinn bites her lip. "He just… I don't think he knows what to do, Rachel. That what he feels is so strong that he doesn't know what to do about it."
Rachel laughs, shaking her head. "You're just saying that."
"I'm really not," Quinn says, but she laughs, too.
"So," Rachel says. "You and Noah, huh?"
Quinn beams, a real smile. "Yeah, me and Noah."
Rachel nods. "You'll be good for him, I think. … So how did he ask you, to the ball?"
She knows she and Quinn seem to have reached an understanding, but she's still surprised when Quinn doesn't tell her it's none of her business, and instead launches happily into the story, how Noah seemed almost nervous to hear her reaction, and Rachel smiles a little bit.
She's happy that she doesn't have to worry about Quinn Fabray any more. Actually, she thinks they might sort of be becoming friends.
She could always use another friend.
(f&r-f&r-f&r)
She manages to avoid both Finn and Noah all through dinner. Tina and Mercedes both raise their eyebrows when she walks in with Quinn Fabray, but they don't say anything. Rachel knows they expect to hear the story later.
They make a beeline towards her after the headmistress dismisses them from dinner, but Finn beats them both to the punch.
"Hey," he says, catching up to her as she passes through the doors that lead to the Great Hall. "Are you okay?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" she asks coolly.
Finn raises his eyebrows. "Rach, I know you. You were about to cry when you were leaving Transfiguration. And you never came back. What did Puckerman say to you? I swear I'll—"
"Drop it," Rachel insists. "It's nothing, okay?"
"The hell it isn't!"
Two second years hanging around in front of them turn around to gape. Finn's voice bounces off the walls. The hall is practically empty.
"Go on, or I'll have to take points," Rachel threatens.
They hurry up the staircase.
"Please," Finn says quietly, his voice breaking. He takes a step toward her. "Please, Rach, just… talk to me."
"I can't," she replies, looking down at the marble floor.
"Why not?" he asks.
"Because I'm in love with you." A tear slides down her cheek, and she doesn't dare look up at him. "Because I'm in love with you, and you don't love me back, okay?"
It's silent for a few seconds. Then Finn asks quietly, "Why would you think that?"
She glances up at him. He's staring at her intently, his expression unreadable.
"I just… I…"
He closes the distance between them in two strides, cupping her face with his hands. She looks up at him with wide eyes. Then he leans down and presses his lips against hers.
She feels like she's melting, warmth spreading through her entire body, and a tingling sensation shoots down her spine. She moves her lips hesitantly against his, resting a hand on his chest; he lowers one of his hands to rest on the small of her back, drawing her against him.
They break apart, breathing heavily, and he presses his forehead against hers. "Don't ever think that I don't love you, Rachel. I do. I've loved you since we were first years, since you looked at me with those wide eyes and thanked me for rescuing you on that train. I just didn't know it yet. You're beautiful and special and I'm just so scared that I'll ruin this, so I didn't pursue it. And I hurt you instead, and I am so sorry—"
She presses her lips against his once more, cutting him off. She smiles as she pulls away. "You love me?" she asks quietly.
He nods. "I really do, Rach."
She blushes, ducking her head.
"And I was wondering…" He stops.
She looks up at him, her heart thumping loudly, blood pounding in her ears. "Yes?" she breathes.
"Well, I mean, that spring ball is coming up… Do you know of anyone who might wanna go with me?"
She laughs, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Well, I think I know someone who might, if you ask her."
He brushes her bangs out of her face, his fingertips lingering on her skin. "Rachel Berry, will you accompany me to the spring ball?"
She nods. "Okay," she whispers.
He grins, then leans down to kiss her again.
She could definitely get used to this.
(f&r-f&r-f&r)
"It's so cute that you're going with Matt," Tina gushes, spinning around so her green dress flares.
Mercedes giggles. "He was so cute when he asked me, too. He seemed so nervous."
Rachel smiles at her two best friends. "Can you believe it? We're about to have the time of our lives with the most adorable boys at school. I would have never dreamed it, really."
Mercedes rolls her eyes. "I still believe that you are literally the only one who did not see you and Finn getting together. I knew it the moment you started gushing about that boy's chivalry when we were eleven."
"Shut up," Rachel says, but she can't help but giggle.
"Think we've kept them waiting long enough?" Tina asks, inspecting herself in the mirror one last time.
"I'd imagine so," Rachel says. She stands up, her pink, knee-length dress falling into place. "Let's go, girls."
They arranged to meet their dates in the entrance hall at seven, and even though Finn and Rachel are in the same house, she made him comply to the rules as well.
"It's not fair to Matt and Artie if you get to see your date first," she insisted, and even though he rolled his eyes, he agreed.
She knows it's worth it when she descends the staircase. Noah actually points her out first, Quinn already on his arm, and when Finn turns around, Rachel sees his breath actually hitch. She smiles and ducks her head.
He's still standing in the same spot when she reaches the end of the steps, his mouth half open.
"Well?" she asks, giggling. "Don't you have anything to say, Finn?"
He swallows, taking a step forward. He grabs her hand. "You look amazing," he breathes.
"You look quite handsome yourself," she replies, and he does, with his pink tie to match her dress.
"Have I told you lately that I love you?" he asks.
She grins. "I love you, too."
"Not that this isn't touching, but I'd like to actually go into the dance," Noah remarks drily. "I mean, how else am I going to get an excuse to grind on Quinn?"
Quinn smacks him on the arm, but she smiles, her lips closed. Rachel thinks they're kind of perfect, actually.
"Let's go," she agrees. Finn offers her his arm and she takes it, gladly. They follow Mercedes and Matt into the Great Hall.
It looks fantastic, with twinkling lights suspended in the air, and swirling colors everywhere. Music is coming from somewhere, but Rachel can't be sure exactly where from. There is no band. Tables are set up along the edges of the hall, and most everyone is already dancing in the middle.
Mercedes drags Matt out onto the dance floor next to Sam and Santana Lopez, the feisty Hufflepuff he brought as his date. He looks like he's trying to teach her the robot, but she keeps laughing and rolling her eyes. The best dancers by far are definitely Brittany Pierce and Mike Chang, the Hufflepuff power couple, who seem to have started a break dance circle in the middle of the dance floor.
"Wanna dance?" Rachel asks Finn, batting her eyelashes.
"Okay," he concedes, "but I won't be very good at it."
"Nonsense," she replies, and she leads him out onto the dance floor.
And okay, he is really bad at it, but he only steps on her toes a few times and he's making her laugh too much for her to care. He's just right anyways, bad dancing and all.
They end up being one of the last couples on the dance floor, swaying back and forth to what suspiciously sounds like The Moonlight Sonata. Rachel rests her head on Finn's chest, her arms around his neck. His hands are on her waist, his thumbs rubbing small circles on her hips.
"This has been perfect, Finn," she whispers. "So perfect."
He nods, kissing the top of her head. "It's only because I got to spend it with you."
She blushes, burying her face into his shoulder.
This might just be the best night of her life.
(f&r-f&r-f&r)
"You promise you'll visit me this summer?" she asks, crossing her arms.
He laughs, pecking her on the lips lightly. "Babe, I'll be out there next week. Your dads said I could, didn't they?"
"Well, yes, but—"
He cuts her off with another kiss. If she didn't like kissing him so much, she'd be annoyed, but it's Finn, and he's adorable, so she lets it slide.
"Then I'll be there," he says. "And then you are coming home with me. Mom's already been asking about you."
"She knows?" Rachel asks, wide-eyed.
He laughs. "I live with Kurt. Of course she knows."
"Oh, Merlin," Rachel moans, burying her face in Finn's shoulder.
He laughs. "She loves you, so I wouldn't worry."
They feel the train stop, and she looks up at him. "I'm gonna miss you," she says quietly.
"I'll see you next week," he reminds her. He sighs. "But I'll miss you, too, Rach."
She throws her arms around him, and he holds her tight, pressing his lips lightly against her hair. She wipes at her eyes as she pulls away.
He grabs her hand. "Ready for the real world?" he asks.
She shakes her head. "Not really."
"Hey," he says quietly. "We still have one more year."
She nods. "I know."
"And we'll make the most of it, and then it'll be me and you, taking the world by storm, okay?"
She giggles. She can't help it.
He squeezes her hand, and they step off the train together.
You all are incredibly lovely, and I'm sorry this wasn't that great, truly. Haha. It was pretty long though!
I'd appreciate it if you'd take the time to review (: