Hey y'all
SO
It's been a while...heh.
Listen...listen. I know. Chase me through the town with pitchforks and torches. I just got writers block and I wasn't sure at all where to go with this fic. I think I've finally got something back in place, so I'll update occasionally. I don't wanna force out rushed stuff, so don't expect weekly updates, but just expect an update at some point I guess.
For all of yall who are like still here after a year and half, yall are real ones lol.
Well, Enjoy my dudes.
"I'm sorry, you said what?"
Spinellli looked towards the ground. "Listen, Gretch, I'm not proud of it either. I got blackout drunk but hung in there long enough to remember I said I wanted to totally bang T.J."
"Well, did you?"
Spinelli looked towards the ceiling. "No—i mean, yes? Augh—at the time I wasn't sure."
Gretchen looked over her glasses. "Aaaand just how did he react to that?"
"The hell if I know. Everything after that is a blur. All I remembered was puking on his back porch when he tried to walk me inside."
"Chivalry at its finest." Gretchen chuckled. "So what do you remember then? We've still barely scratched the surface with this 'FWB' thing."
"I know, I know. I'll try and get the point I guess..." Spinelli inhaled sharply and gripped the chocodiles in her hand. "I was embarrassed as hell so I tried to avoid him the best I could, but..."
"Auggggghhhhh."
"Pookie, you've gotta eat something."
"AughhHHH...can't hold anything down...AUGHNNNN."
"Well at least try! Take a few antacids and try some crackers honey, you'll feel worse if you're hungry."
Spinelli tilted her torso back to face her mom standing worriedly in her doorway. "Mom, it feels like Satan has my uterus in a chokehold, NOTHING feels worse than this."
Flo pressed a hand to her cheek and frown concerningly at her daughter. "I know, sweetheart. Just try and get some rest." She said. "Us Spinelli women didn't really get the long end of the stick when it comes to visits from Aunt Ruby."
Spinelli groaned even louder at that, flipping over onto her stomach and pulling her heavy comforter over her head. "Just bring me some of that extra-strength ibuprofen when you come back, okay?"
Flo nodded. "I'll bring you some leftovers from Carol's too. I still want you to try and eat something Pookie."
The series of agonized groans she let out in response let her mother know that she was beyond verbal communication at this point, so she simply wished her well and left from her place in Spinelli's doorway.
I'm gonna fucking die in this room tonight.
Spinelli had this thought pretty much every month she'd surpassed the age of twelve and had been catapulted into "womanhood". Her mother was right, every woman in her family had a horrendous experience with the brooding enigma of Aunt Ruby coming to visit and terrorize them nearly every month. Spinelli considered herself strong in every aspect of her life, except this. She was lucky that her attendance hadn't completely gone to shit, because her friends recognized that at least two days per month, Spinelli was absent and writhing in cramps and headaches.
She was almost glad that she missed class because of this; it was a valid excuse not to interact with T.J. at school, which inevitably would have happened. She never in her life thought she'd be afraid to see one of her friends, especially because of something she'd stupidly admitted when she was drunk. If this had happened with Vince or Gus, she probably could have played it off as being completely out of her senses. With T.J. however...well...people already thought they'd had a thing for each other already; this was only the cherry on top of the cake.
BEEP.
Spinelli flung herself onto her opposite side, eyes leering down towards her phone glowing on her nightstand. She could read the message from a few feet away, and she inhaled at what it'd said.
T.J.: Hey, are you home?
Great.
Chewing her lower lip, she hesitated before replying.
Spinelli: "Yeah."
That already felt weird. One word replies usually only went to lab partners and Vince when he'd beaten her at a sports game of some sort.
Please don't text back immediately please don't-
BEEP
Fuck.
T.J.: "You feel like coming out for a bit? We could grab Checkers."
Spinelli inhaled.
Spinelli: "As much as I'd love a Big Buford rn, it's not the best time of the month for that Teej."
Hopefully that would stave him off for a while?
BEEP
For the love of God.
T.J.: "Ah, I gotcha. Feel better Spin."
Spinelli: "Thanks Teej."
She waited a few minutes before tossing her phone across her bed. T.J. was probably the best texter in the group, as opposed to Vince or herself, who normally sent one text to the group chat every two days. If he'd stopped after a few minutes, he was done. She couldn't have been more relieved. Her uterus was doing backflips and she didn't need this right now; they definitely needed to talk about this, but preferably when she was in a slightly less murderous state.
Spinelli turned onto her back. God. This was going to change things, and she didn't know if she was prepared for that. There really wasn't much way to come back from admitting to your best friend that you wanted to have sex with them.
Spinelli wasn't sure when she'd fallen asleep, but she was awoken by the sound of Bruiser barking loudly from down the hall. The daylight hadn't changed, so it couldn't have been that long.
She sat up in her bed, feeling around for her phone and harshly rubbing her eyes. Once her fingers felt the cold metal she pressed the side button.
4:15
She flipped through a few apps. T.J. had texted her about an hour ago. It couldn't have been her mother back already, Flo could talk for hours. Especially if she was with Carol.
Bruiser's barking was beginning to give her even more of a headache than she'd already had, so Spinelli used the little energy she had to drag herself out of bed. She slipped her slippers carelessly onto her feet before trudging down the hallway
It was terribly cold, and Spinelli swore under her breath as the harsh air brushed against her legs. She stopped in front of the thermostat; Of course, Flo would leave it turned to a ridiculously low temperature. Spinelli gritted her teeth and turned the dial up to a toasty seventy-one.
The moment she turned away, she saw what Bruiser had been making such a fuss over and she nearly went white. Spinelli could just barely make out his figure through the frosted glass flanking her front door, but she could recognize that army green jacket anywhere.
Fuck.
Spinelli finally managed to snap out of her petrified trance when she heard the doorbell chime. This was unfair. He'd cornered her, and she knew he could definitely see her through the glass too.
Even though every sense in her body was telling her to turn tail and walk right back to her bed, she groaned and began towards the door. There wasn't much weaseling her way out of this one.
The cool winter air hit her like a brick as she opened the door. There stood T.J., red-faced from the cold and clutching bag of Checkers to his chest. Spinelli looked up at him, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. T.J. grinned, toothy and endearing.
"Surprise?"
Spinelli's palm slid down her cheek. "God. Come in, you jerk."
The wooden door shuts heavily behind T.J. as he follows Spinelli through her threshold, kicking compacted snow from off his boots. He shirked his coat off, immediately feeling the change in temperature. Spinelli walked towards the kitchen and opened the cabinet above the sink.
"You said you didn't feel like coming out, so." T.J. takes his last glove off. "I thought I'd come to you."
"Oh yeah right, T.J.." Spinelli pulls two pink plates out of the cabinet and shut it with her elbow. "Cut the bullshit. We both know why you're here."
T.J.'s silent for a moment as she walked over to the table and set the plates down. She pulled out a chair and sat, and T.J. took the hint to follow suit.
"Did you at least get me some honey mustard?" Spinelli asked, grabbing the bag.
"Oh, of course. How could I forget?"
She practically dumped its contents out onto the table. Even though she was a bit annoyed that he showed up with no warning, she admitted that she was hungry as hell. T.J. picked up a fry from the plate the moment Spinelli dumped them out, and his eyes finally met hers.
"...So."
"...so?"
T.J. Swallows. "I didn't wanna corner you like this but...I dunno. I felt like if I went another day without saying anything I'd lose it."
Spinelli looked back down at her plate. "Yeah, I guess you do have a point." She said. "I was gonna wait till I came back to school but, I guess this works too."
"Listen, Spinelli, I'm just gonna be honest." T.J. looked directly at her. "I haven't stopped thinking about you—about this, since The Ashely's party."
The bite of food Spinelli took sank down her throat like a rock. She knew she was blushing because of how hot her face felt, and she hated it. "You're serious?"
"Why would I lie?"
Spinelli narrowed her eyes. "I-I don't know! I'm just...this is a lot to take in, okay?"
T.J. dipped his fry in her honey mustard. "Hey, to be fair, you admitted you wanted this too."
"Okay, but I was drunk."
"So you didn't mean it?"
Spinelli tightens her lips, reaching towards the soda cup T.J. had also brought. "No...I...I did. Drunk Spinelli is probably more honest than Sober Spinelli if we're being real here."
The look in T.J.'s eyes made Spinelli shudder; he looked as if he'd just seen a ghost. He was wide-eyed and she saw the slightest blush creep across his face. God, those stupid freckles and full cheeks. He didn't have to be this cute.
"Can I be completely honest Spinelli? Like, one hundred percent transparent?"
She swallowed. "No B.S.?"
"No B.S."
Spinelli chewed on her cheek and nodded. "Only if I can too."
"By all means."
"Well?"
T.J.'s hand reached towards the back of his neck. "I am...and have been..really...really attracted to you. For like, a while."
Spinelli went completely red. She could feel it, her entire face felt hot. T.J. searched her expression for some sort of a response, but to no avail.
"You look shocked."
"I mean-" Spinelli started. "I kind of am? I didn't know you even thought about me like that." She suddenly remembered. "Wait, even when you were like...having that...thing..with Ashley A.?"
T.J. snorted and swallowed a fry. "Uh, yeah. This started in like, ninth grade."
Spinelli wrinkled her nose. "Right around the time I got tits, huh?"
"Oh come on. The times may have kind of lined up, I guess." He sat back in his chair. "What about you, hmm? Where's your confession?"
Spinelli rolled her eyes and leaned onto her elbow. "You're cute or whatever."
T.J. scoffed. "What happened to being completely honest?"
"I am being honest! I think you're cute, okay? I've thought that for a while. Especially when you started growing out your beard. I like scruffy guys."
They go silent for a moment, and T.J.'s the first to break the silence with snickering. Spinelli can't help but laugh too, but she's sure eighty percent of it from nervousness.
"And Vince tried to convince me it wasn't a good idea." T.J. rubbed his face. "Sure it was a little patchy in the beginning-"
"Oh Teej, it was really fucking patchy."
"Dude! Don't be mean! It was doing the best it could."
"I'm not being mean-I'm being...completely honest, and transparent."
T.J. smirked. "Touche, I guess."
It felt a bit less awkward now. They were joking like they normally did; talking to each other like they did before the bar incident, and the party, and everything else that made the waters between them murky. Spinelli realized she was down to the last few bites of her Buford, and then there would be no way for her to deflect or hesitate without it seeming intentional.
Fuck.
She found a napkin amongst the dumped Checker's bag contents and began wiping off her hands. "So."
T.J. blinks. "So...?"
"Do you wanna...?"
"...What? Fuck?"
Spinelli's eyes went wide. "No! I mean-not yet-I-fuck. Thanks, Teej. Now you've got me tripping over my words like an idiot or something."
"I've been told I have that effect on people." He winked, and Spinelli glowered.
"Leave."
"I'm kidding!"
She exhaled. "I know, and you're not funny."
"I'm just trying to lighten the mood, Spin." He leaned onto his elbows as well. "You wanna clarify what you mean?"
Spinelli hesitated, mainly because she was unsure of how to phrase what she was about to say.
"Do you wanna be...you know. Friends With Benefits?"
T.J.'s mouth opened a bit as if he was about to say something, but he stopped himself. He saw Spinelli narrow her eyes in suspicion, and exhaled. "Okay, I'm not gonna lie. I really, really kind of do. But-"
"But what?"
"I'm worried it might...make things weird."
Spinelli looked up. "I mean...Vince and Gretch seem fine. At least from the outside looking in."
"Yeah, that's true. But I'm really not even sure what they are at this point."
"Me neither."
Spinelli felt like there should've been a gross, bloody hole in the side of her face by how much she was chewing her cheek. She looked up towards the ceiling in search of a response, and looked back down the moment she'd had one. "Okay, how about this. What if we just...like...start slow. That way if things get too weird, we can go back to normal without having to trek back too far."
"Define 'slow'."
"What do you mean 'define slow'? What else could it mean?"
"It means different things to different people! If we're gonna set boundaries we should do it up front, you know?" T.J. replied.
Spinelli raised a brow. He had a point. "So, does this mean you're down?"
T.J. paused, and then spoke up. "Yeah, it does."
Spinelli's heart raced. This was really happening. She was really about to go down this rabbit hole with him, and she couldn't tell if this reaction was a panic attack or excitement. She hoped it was the latter, because what she decided to do next required more balls than she had at the moment.
Spinelli pushed herself away from the table, and the sound of the wooden chair screeching across the floor made T.J. jump a bit. She quickly walked around to his side of the table and realized how weird it was to be looking down on him for once. T.J. looked up at her with confused, blue eyes.
"Scoot out from under the table."
"Why?"
"I swear to God-Just do it T.J.!"
Afraid of just how Spinelli would react in such a tense state, he followed her orders. His chair scuffed just as loud across the wood and it was no less jarring. His eyes went wide as she plopped down onto his lap, her legs horizontal to his. She didn't waste a single second, mainly because Spinelli knew it would only take a second for her to lose her nerve. She placed her hands firmly on his shoulders and leaned in quickly, smashing her lips into his.
This kiss was clunky and awkward. She hadn't kissed anyone since junior prom, and that hadn't even been a good kiss. Her nerves were getting to her, but the moment she felt T.J.'s hands slide up her sides, she pulled back like a spooked horse.
"Fuck. That was awkward."
"I mean, yeah it was. But you caught me off guard."
"That was kind of the point. I don't know, I guess this was like, a test."
"Well then, how about you don't throw your face at mine this time?"
She lowered her brows. "Oh shut up."
There were a few seconds of silence before she leaned in again, and this attempt was much more successful.
T.J.'s lips met hers and he realized she still tasted like cherry coke. He thought he probably tasted like honey-mustard, and tried not to get embarrassed thinking about it. He remembered something he liked a lot about Spinelli; those full, peachy lips. He'd always imagined that they'd be soft, and he was glad he'd been right. She was trembling just the slightest bit, and he was glad she was a bit nervous too.
T.J. felt one of her hands slide down from his shoulder to his chest, and he tried to touch her again. Her skin was warm and soft and she didn't pull back this time. He didn't want to push it too far right now, it was their first kiss after all; so he stopped around her mid back, stroking slow circles with his thumb. He was a bit shocked when he felt her tongue graze his bottom lip, but he obliged. Spinelli's tongue slipped into his mouth and suddenly he felt, really, really, hot. He kissed her back with fervor, leaning further into her as his grip on her waist tightened.
This was actually happening, they were sitting together, making out in Spinelli's kitchen.
Yeah, this was probably going to be weird. But it was worth it.
T.J. hadn't realized how into it he'd gotten until...
Oh.
He could tell Spinelli knew too, because her eyes opened and she pulled back immediately.
"Is-is that your belt buckle?"
T.J. went red. "Uh...no."
He couldn't tell what was going through her head and he thought he might have just ruined this whole thing. Suddenly, her lips twitched into a smile and she started laughing, covering her mouth as she laid her forehead on his shoulder. "Holy fuck."
"What? Come on Spinelli-you're sitting on my lap!"
"I know- I just-I didn't think that was all it took."
He tried to readjust himself underneath her legs, but that did nothing to help. If anything, she probably felt it more now. "Well, you're a good kisser and kinda hot."
Spinelli lifts her head, her eyebrows raised. "You think I'm hot?"
"Isn't that what I said?"
"Don't be smart, asshole."
T.J. can't help but start laughing too, and in a moment their both snickering against one another. Just as Spinelli was coming down from her high and about to speak, a familiar crescendo of bells rang from down the hall. It was a crappy, jarring way to end this little makeout session, but Spinelli instantly knew what it was.
"Fuck, that's my mom calling," She said, looking over her shoulder and towards her room. "She always calls when she's on her way home."
T.J. was disappointed, but it wasn't like he expected to get this far today anyway. "Damn. I doubt Flo would be too happy to uh...find us like this."
"You're damn right she wouldn't." Spinelli climbed off his lap, much to his dismay. She slipped her feet back into her slippers. "You gotta dip. She'll think something's up if she thinks I invited you over while she was gone."
"True." T.J. pulled himself up from the seat, brushing the crumbs off his sweatshirt as he moved away from the table. "It's probably better if we do this at my place then, huh?"
Spinelli nodded as they began walking towards the door. "Uh, yeah. You parents don't come bursting in on you every ten minutes asking if you need something."
"My mom usually works late at her office anyway and my Dad spends most of his time in the basement working on his woodworking projects, so yeah. My place is definitely it."
Before they knew it, both of them were in front of the door. Spinelli looked up at him after she unlocked it, blushing hard. He slipped his coat back onto his shoulders and stepped out of the way so she could swing the heavy wood open.
"See you at school tomorrow?"
She rubbed her temple. "Hopefully. Most likely. I'll let you know. It depends on whether or not my vagina wants to calm the fuck down."
T.J. chuckled. "Completely understandable." He started out onto her porch. "Bye Spin."
Spinelli hesitated. "Teej, wait."
He stopped. "What?"
He was still close enough to her for Spinelli to plant a small kiss on his cheek. She had to stand on her tip-toes, and if he wasn't so cold he would've commented on how cute it was.
"See you tomorrow."
"Oh, my god." Vince is leaning so far into the camera that T.J.'s sure he can see up his nose. "Awwwww! That's so cute!"
T.J. smirked. "Yeah, it was pretty cute."
"And also pretty bold on Spinelli's part," Vince added. "When you told me that, I thought I heard you wrong at first."
T.J. shook his head. "Nah. She totally went for it. It was...really hot actually."
Vince sat back in his chair, kicking his legs up onto the table to get comfortable. "Well, now I'm hooked. We're not ending this call until you finish this story."
"We're gonna be here a while, cause there's still a fuckton more to it."
"Well then? What are you waiting for? Get to it, Detweiler!"
"I am, I am! Jeez, be patient Vince." T.J. sighed. "So..."
Boop, now we're getting somewhere
No promises but, i'll try and have another update soon. Peace out my dudes.