They could not see him.
Touko was crying.
Shigeru's arms were wrapped around her, but his eyes roamed.
Right past Natsume.
Right through Natsume.
He had known, but some small part of him had chosen to believe in a lie. Had chosen to hope in the possibility that they would still be able to see him.
But they couldn't see spirits.
And he was a spirit now.
He wasn't human anymore.
He wasn't human, wasn't human wasn'thumananymore-
A rough, wet tongue swiped gently up Natsume's cheek, pulling him up from a darkness he hadn't realized he had fallen into. Natsume jumped, looking into the giant eyes of his spirit friend. Nyanko-sensei didn't often get serious, but when he did, his large eyes were trustworthy, and determined and Natsume could remember it was safe-
"Breathe, brat." Nyanko-sensei nudged him in the chest, and the sensation reminded Natsume where his lungs were. He dragged in a ragged breath, and felt his vision clear and lighten as oxygen returned. Nyanko-sensei crawled further into his lap, and only then did Natsume realize he had fallen to his knees at some point. He hugged the pig-cat close, needing the comfort as he watched the people he had come to see as possibly permanent family look around the room, unable to see him.
"Is this what it was like for you that time I couldn't see you, sensei?" Natsume's voice came out dull and tired. Natsume was emotionally exhausted, and now that he had taken off the energy-eating coat that made him visible to humans, his body was making its own exhaustion known. He knew he would not be able to put it back on today without losing consciousness in the process.
Nyanko-sensei did not say a word, only reaching higher to rub his head under Natsume's chin. Natsume leaned into the touch, and unsatisfied, Nyanko changed form with a soft puff of air, wrapping his large form around Natsume. His fur encased Natsume like a safe cocoon, and Natsume clung to the fur with shaking hands. Some spiritual part of him, the new part that scared him, unfurled and surfaced happily under the spirit's affection.
"Madara." The name fell from his lips without his consent, capturing the attention of the spirit and attracting the laser focus of his intense eyes. Natsume never called him by his chosen spirit name. It had never felt right, but something in him felt the need to use it now. "Madara, I need-"
Whatever it was the spirit part of him needed, Natsume was not destined to find out, because he felt his energy plummet unexpectedly. He vaguely remembers hearing his name being called out, but he is already too far gone to respond as darkness overtakes his vision.
…
"Don't you dare bring that coat near him. I will tear you apart, puny exorcist!"
Nyanko found himself torn between two lives. The young godling in Natsume had called to a long hidden half of Nyanko, and the part of him that had always been Madara was now rising to the forefront. Feelings and duties he had long pushed aside now clamored for attention, and his need to protect Natsume had overwhelmed rational thought. He knew he was out of control, but the one thing he knew with a certainty is that Natsume is his responsibility and no one else will touch him, let alone drape him in a coat that would drain Natsume's spiritual reserves.
Natori must be tired too, because he only sighs, draping the filthy coat over a chair and returning to the Fujiwara's side, attempting to persuade them that Natsume was fine even though he could not produce physical proof.
The Fujiwara's were strong, and kind for humans. Nyanko held little to no worries about how they would react to this change.
Still, Madara wished to hide the child away in a temple, safe from the world.
Even if temple's themselves can turn into a dangerous prison-
Nyanko shook the thoughts from his head. Natsume would never forgive him if he dragged him away from this family. If. If the Fujiwara's ever rejected this sweet child, then Madara may drag him away, but not a moment before, and never without Natsume's approval.
There would be no repeat of the tragedy…
"This is never going to work if they can't see him when he's home, pig-cat." Nyanko hid a flinch of surprise, curling more protectively around his charge.
"Then we will find a way for them to see him. Natsume deserves nothing less." Natori frowned at that.
"Deserving it or not, that doesn't mean we can just magic up a way for humans to see him again!" He pointed out angrily. Nyanko felt his ears flick up in interest, an idea catching in his mind.
"Magic!" Nyanko crows. "That's it! We will simply request one of Taki's circle's. She can make one around the house so that the Fujiwara's can see Natsume and any of the spirits his new duties will cause to visit!"
"Sp-spell circles are illegal!" Natori splutters. "You can't use one, let alone wrap one around an entire house!
"True, the house itself may be hard to fit the design to properly. But we can definitely fit a few inside the house so that Natsume can interact with the Fujiwara's without that blasted coat!"
"Are you even listening to me? You can't use a spell circle, it is illegal. Not to mention dangerous." Natori shook his hand angrily in the air. Nyanko scoffed. What could this puny human do to him, the magnificent Madara, anyway?
"We spirits have never held ourselves to your pathetic human rules, exorcist." Nyanko growls. He moves his tail to allow Natori to see Natsume's pale, unconscious face.
"Natsume cannot afford to live by your rules. The coat has already caused enough trouble today. It is bad enough knowing I will be unable to convince him to leave it be. We both know he will endanger himself if it means he can interact with the people he cares for."
That shut the stinky exorcist up, which Nyanko would have found more satisfying if it hadn't reminded him of the sorry state of his young charge. Natori crept forward to get a closer peak at the child cradled at Nyanko's side.
"Will he be okay?" Nyanko's fur settled a bit at the open concern. He made eye contact with the exorcist and nodded his head.
"With rest, he will be."
The room was silent for a minute, the Fujiwara couple watching on with wide, silent eyes as they heard half of a conversation.
"Even if the circle would work, I wouldn't know where to find one." Natori finally mumbled, slouching into the admission with a guilty expression. Nyanko huffed.
"Natsume has a friend who can get us one. He might have kept a copy somewhere in his room. I didn't pay that much attention. With or without the circle, the brat found trouble anyway. Circles are only dangerous for humans who don't know of the spirit world."
"Will it be dangerous for the Fujiwara's?" Natsume's hoarse whisper surprised Nyanko, who hadn't realized that Natsume had regained consciousness.
"If done properly, it should be safe. The smelly exorcist may have some helpful tricks as well." he conceded. Nyanko would do whatever it took to make the circles safe if it was what Natsume needed.
"Thank you, sensei." WIth that Nyanko heard the child's breathing slow, and he knew the child had returned to the land of dreams. He tucked his tail back around his charge and looked back towards the Fujiwara's.
No matter what it cost, Madara would protect this small family.
Even if it meant giving up the life he had selfishly chosen to keep millenia ago.
…..
Convincing the Fujiwara's that Natsume was safe even though they could not see him had been simpler than Natori had thought it would be.
The Fujiwara's were either too in shock to properly accept the situation, or had a strong belief in the supernatural. It might have helped to see the dumb pig-cat poof back into existence and watch Natori stumble up with stairs while cradling Natsume in his arms. They may not have been able to see Natsume, but a man walking up the stairs with his arms cradling a hundred-pound invisible weight must look strange unless you believed they were really carrying something they could not see.
Either way, both parties involved realized that Natori would be needed in the house until Natsume had regained the strength to use the jacket again. Touko had practically shoved Natori into the guest room as she insisted he stay the night.
Now, waking in an unfamiliar room to streaming morning light and the smell of something delicious, Natori wished he had a solution for the nasty problem that he had somehow gotten mixed up in. He wished he had a simple solution for Natsume.
But only time could tell how things would turn out.
"Nyanko-sensei! Get your fat butt off of me, I can't breathe!" The high, almost giggly voice from the next room calmed Natori's nerves somewhat.
"I require food and you took to long to wake up. I took it upon my magnificent self to help you along. You should be grateful, brat." Natori had never noticed the undertone of affection in the spirit's voice before. Perhaps because he had only ever seen the lazy side of spirit and hadn't wanted to let it be a creature of feeling. That would imply that not all spirits were as evil as he had led himself to believe. But it was unmistakable now.
Spirits, he decided, were as diverse as humans.
…..
Breakfast, Natsume had decided, was his least favorite meal of the day. If only because this mornings breakfast encounter had been so awkward.
Natsume didn't remember much about what had happened last night. But what he did remember made his cheeks burn. He hadn't thought it through, in typical style, and the Fujiwara's had had to deal with the consequences.
Natsume had to deal with an interrogation style breakfast from a well-meaning Touko-san (which was a very distressed and overbearing Touko-san), a near dissecting look from Shigeru-san, and a lot of underhanded ribbing from Natori, who enjoyed the morning encounter far more than he should have.
The traitor hadn't even tried to help Natsume, just enjoyed watching him flounder under the attention.
Nyanko-sensei had been a godsend. He had been his normal annoying self, calling for attention and stealing most of Natsume's food. If he had been more affectionate and woken Natsume by sitting on him and grooming his hair, or rubbing reassuringly against his legs as he had put on the jacket, neither one of them would admit it to anyone.
Stifling a yawn that would send all the overprotective adults in the room into a panic that would keep him from getting to school and talking with Taki about getting a spirit circle, Natsume packed his school bag before anyone could try to convince him to stay home from school. He was on a mission to get life as close to normal as possible.
No one needed to know that he had avoided looking in the mirror this morning. It was bad enough to have seen the way Natori would catch him fiddling with the sleeves of the jacket, pulling them down over his hands as much as possible.
Hiding the moving black names that had taken over his skin. Hiding the reminder of his new status as an ayakashi.
All he needed to do was get a circle and things could go back to normal once the Fujiwara's could see him again.
They had to.
…..
Matoba was running out of patience.
Something had happened with Natsume, and Matoba sensed it could be the opportunity he finally needed to obtain the obedience of Natsume.
With all that power and potential at his fingertips, the Matoba clan would become invincible.
He couldn't sit by and wait any longer. He wanted the boy now.
He needed him.
"Reschedule my afternoon appointment with the elders and cancel any other appointments I have today, Sousuke. There's an important errand I need to attend to."
"But sir-"
"Just do it, Sousuke, and get the car ready. The sooner the better."
Sousuke nodded his head apprehensive, but left without further argument.
"You will be mine Natsume Takashi."
…..
Tanuma knew something was wrong when Natsume didn't come in with Nishimura and Kitamoto like he normally did.
Tanuma and Natsume didn't always talk at school, but Natsume had started at least meeting up with him shortly in the morning to reassure him he was okay. Tanuma had seen too many spirits attack Natsume to not worry about his friend. He felt bad for putting Natsume through the extra effort, but after working so hard to get Natsume to start involving him in at least some of his ayakashi encounters, he felt better knowing that when he wasn't there to help, Natsume was still okay.
If that meant that he occasionally had to play up his concern to make Natsume guilty enough to keep tabs with him, Tanuma figured it was a worthy cause.
The downside was that Tanuma worried more when Natsume broke pattern.
"Nishimura, Kitamoto!"
"Hey, Tanuma!"
"Did Natsume not come to school with you guys today?" The two friends shrug helplessly.
"He wasn't at the meet up point, and he doesn't like when we wait for him."
"We usually just wait anyway and tell him we were running late too, but he never showed up today." Nishimura shrugged.
"Maybe he's just running extra late. He always lets us know ahead of time if he's home sick." Tanuma pursed his lips, but nodded his head.
"Thanks anyway." They part ways as Tanuma heads back towards the school entrance. He still has time to check one more time for Natsume before classes start. Otherwise, he'll just have to call him at lunch.
The last of the stragglers are arriving as Tanuma reaches the entrance. Natsume isn't among them, and Tanuma worries as he heads back to class.
He can't keep his eyes from wandering to the empty seat by the window where Natsume always sits as the teacher begins class. The teacher doesn't seem overly worried that Natsume is absent but seemed as surprised as everyone else that he wasn't at school.
Natsume's relatives hadn't dismissed him from class, then.
But no one had seen him yet today. Could an ayakashi have held him up? Natsume often complained that the kappa that lived near his house was always getting itself into trouble, and Natsume was so kind he was always attracting weak-spirited yokai who needed help.
But Tanuma had also seen the way that unkind and powerful yokai looked at Natsume. The hungry and possessive looks they gave his friend.
And that wasn't even including the strange exorcists that Natsume knew. Natsume didn't talk about them much, but Tanuma had talked with Natori-san a few times and wasn't sure that he trusted him as much as Natsume did. And he seemed to be the best of the batch. If Natsume wouldn't talk about them, Tanuma thought it could only be because they were dangerous. It was the only reason Natsume ever kept quiet. That or if he thought the knowledge would inconvenience someone or make them worry.
Which only made Tanuma worry more.
The door banged open in a rush, startling Tanuma from his thoughts.
"Sorry I'm late sensei!" Tanuma felt his momentary excitement drop at the sound of a female voice. He had hoped that Natsume was coming in, late but safe.
Now he wasn't so sure.
The first class of the morning ended with no other interruptions, and Tanuma found his eyes straying more and more often to the empty chair by the window. Where was Natsume?
They were five minutes into the second class of the day when the door creaked slowly open. Tanuma felt a shiver pass through him as he felt an overwhelmingly strong energy through the open crack in the room. The teacher paused as a sandy blonde head peaked shyly into the classroom, head down, eyes on the floor. Tanuma was unable to look away. He could make out the hair of the person coming into the room clearly, but the rest of them was blurry, like there was a thick glass keeping him from seeing them properly.
"Sorry I'm late, sensei." Natsume's voice was unmistakable, tiny and sheepish as it was.
The rest of the class continued as if everything were normal. For everyone else, it would be. For everyone else but Tanuma, the way that Natsume's spirit energy radiated wouldn't be so overpowering that it was making his physically nauseous. For everyone else, Natsume wouldn't be a blurry outline with hair, unlike any overshadowing or possession Tanuma had ever seen. For everyone else it would look like a normal day.
But Natsume wouldn't even look at Tanuma.
When the class was released to go to gym class, Natsume made an excuse to Nishimura and Kitamoto. Tanuma watched them exchange worried looks but they left. Soon Tanuma and Natsume were alone in the room. Only then did Tanuma slip from his chair and make his way over to his friend, trying not to gag on the overwhelming energy that only got stronger the closer he got to Natsume.
"Natsume?"
"Tanuma!"
Tanuma knew enough about Natsume to know that he was a very private person, and that touching should be limited and rarely initiated without Natsume's unvoiced approval. So to be suddenly trapped in a tight hug, with his friend shuddering from tears that Tanuma could feel on his shirt but not see on his friend's blurry face was terrifying.
Something had gone terribly wrong this weekend. Tanuma would not rest until he knew what it was and had done everything in his power to fix it.
…..
They had snuck Taki out of class. Natsume felt bad for disrupting his friends' lives, but Tanuma had been a wall of undeterrable energy since Natsume had unwittingly fallen apart on him, and Natsume only wanted to have to explain himself once. So they snuck out and caught Taki's attention. She had snuck away with a little too much glee, probably expecting to see Nyanko-sensei, but he had been left home when Shigeru and Touko had gotten overprotective and forced Natsume to get a ride from Shigeru-san once they found out what effects the jacket had on his energy levels.
Nyanko-sensei had said he would meet Natsume at school, but Natsume doubted he would actually make it, lazy as he was. Natsume always ended up carrying him most of the trip. And even as overprotective as the spirit was behaving, Natsume still didn't expect miracles.
"What's up guys? Where's Neko-chan?" Taki's bubbly voice did a lot to settle Natsume's frayed nerves.
"He didn't make it to school today. Shigeru-san insisted on dropping me off, and I didn't have a good excuse to bring him with." Natsume shrugged apologetically. Taki settled into the grass at their side, giving Natsume a more critical once over.
"You look tired. And something about you just seems a little off, Natsume. Are you okay?" Tanuma's eyes burnt holes in Natsume's head. He couldn't help but duck his head self-consciously under the scrutiny. He had a feeling that Tanuma couldn't see him properly, and knew he should explain everything, but he didn't want to worry his friends or get them involved in anything dangerous accidentally.
"I'm fine." He said. "But I did want to ask a favor of you, Taki. Would you mind lending me a sketch of the yokai circle? I lost the one you gave me, and I need it for something that came up."
"Sure, I have one back at the house, we could go grab it after school."
"Thanks, Taki."
"Why do you need one at all, Natsume? And what has happened to you? Taki may not be able to tell, but I can see that something is wrong with your spirit energy. Have you been possessed by something dangerous?" Tanuma slowly reached out an arm to clutch at Natsume's sleeve. It was an unexpected expression of his worry that made Natsume feel good, even as he struggled with a response.
"I-" He started, the words getting clogged in his throat. The Fujiwara's had accepted him, but would his two friends who had had so many dangerous and scary experiences with ayakashi feel the same way about his new status? Natsume tugged anxiously at his coat sleeves, diverting his eyes when squiggly lines wriggled up his fingers seeking his attention.
"Oi, brat." A heavy weight settled on his back, pushing Natsume forward and practically into Tanuma's lap. Taki squealed.
"Neko-chan!"
"Oi, get off me!" Despite his harsh words, Natsume could hear the pleasure in Nyanko-sensei's voice. He loved attention, even if his pride made him pretend it was beneath him.
The group settled themselves again, Nyanko-sensei wrestling himself out of Taki's grip to set himself protectively in Natsume's lap. Natsume couldn't help the way his arms instinctively clung to the spirit. The last few days had been exhausting, and Nyanko-sensei had become an anchor. Something deep inside of Natsume said Nyanko-sensei was safe. That part of him that had changed and become other when he became a spirit needed Nyanko-sensei.
Natsume was powerless to stop it.
How could he when he didn't understand it?
"This isn't one you can hide anymore, kid." The truth of that statement hurt. But with a little help, Natsume managed to tell his friends about what had happened.
He left out the part where Natori almost strangled him to death, how many times he cried, and the overwhelming experiences of receiving new names, but he shared the big picture.
At the end, Tanuma and Taki still wanted to be his friends, even expressing interest in seeing his new form with the help of a yokai circle. Natsume internally cringed, not so sure they won't change their minds when they see his new form, but keeps quiet. He will take every second with them as he can. If they are going to reject his friendship later when they see his true form, he wants as many memories to remember them by as possible before then.
School was ending by the time the two had satisfied themselves with questions. Tanuma and Taki stood almost protectively on either side of Natsume, closer to his sides than normal. Rather than feeling boxed in, Natsume felt touched by the protective show of support, and gave his friends a gentle smile. Around the entrance of the school was a large crowd of students. The unusual commotion caught Natsume's attention. He groaned.
"That's probably Natori here to pick me up." He sighed. Natori had decided to stay at the Fujiwara residence until they had worked out the majority of Natsume's situation. He said he didn't have another shoot until next month, and Touko had insisted he stay at the house to save him the expenses on commuting every day to check on Natsume. Considering the over-anxious protective streak his foster family had been displaying this morning, Natsume wouldn't be surprised at all if Natori had been sent to walk him home since Shigeru wouldn't be off work in time to do it himself.
Natori had a horrible tendency of attracting too much attention. Most of Natsume's classmates were big fans, much to Natsume's chagrin.
"Is that a limo?" Taki asked. Natsume's head snapped up.
"What?"
"A limo, Natsume. Does Natori have a limo?"
"No. The only person I know with a limo is-" Natsume felt his face drain of color as his brain connected the dots. As if summoned by Natsume's thoughts, the crowd parted and an intense pair of sharp eyes drilled into Natsume's own. They widened momentarily before narrowing in predatory determination. A polite smile morphed into a hunter's cocky grin. Natsume felt like a cornered prey, staring down the barrel of a gun at it's certain doom.
"Matoba."