*Pokes head around wall*

If anybody is still reading this story, then I am really, really sorry. I know it's been a year, but life, 12th grade and writer's block kinda got in the way.

This chapter is dedicated to Pen to Paper Writer, the very special reviewer who helped me overcome my writer's block, and get this chapter out.

Enjoy, and DO REVIEW, even if it's just a couple of words. I'd love to hear from you…

Once again, I'm really sorry for the delay.

Rey

Discaimer: Show's over. Never owned it, never will.

You can starve me for affection
Till my soul's just skin and bone,
And make the words "I'm sorry"
Feel the same as throwing stones.
In a room full of you,
I might be standing all alone,
But love don't die easy.

"Mr Castle! I'm your biggest fan! I love ALL of your books!"

Castle smiled at the twenty something brunette in front of him. Once upon a time, the smile would have been cocky, and a little flirty. But now, now it was just a publicity smile, which ended way before it even neared his eyes.

Two weeks into his book tour, and Castle was already sick of it all. Chicago, LA, DC, and now Boston, it was always the same routine on endless repeat. He appreciated his fans, he really did. Their support was what had gotten him here, and given him everything he had today.

But honestly, he was tired of the hackneyed lines from women looking to land a catch, and his signature was starting to look like the squiggles of a five-year-old.

"Great going Ricky, just half an hour more, and then you're off for the evening.", Paula whispered in his ear, her long nails digging into his shoulder.

Castle simply nodded, too exhausted to say anything. It had been a long two weeks for him.

He had thought the distance would help him forget about her, but it only made it worse. All he wanted to do was drink himself into blissful oblivion, but he reminded himself that he had responsibilities. Responsibilities which didn't go away just because of Beckett's betrayal. What would he say to Alexis if she called her father and found him drunk out of his mind?

So he had settled for tossing back a glass of scotch, and watching cable TV into the wee hours before heading off for his publicity event of the day. Lather, rinse, repeat.

'I remember every second of it.'

Try as he might, Castle couldn't quite banish the echoes of her voice from the recesses of his mind. And every time it bounced around, it cut deeper, like a perverse game. How many times can you cut me open before I crumble to my knees. And he wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer.

Sighing quietly, he resigned himself to signing away the next 25 minutes, resisting the urge to check his watch constantly.

When Castle finally walked out of the bookstore, he noticed a small bar down the street. It seemed to be a quaint place, rather reminiscent of The Old Haunt.
Deciding that he needed a little more than his usual glass of scotch today, Castle crossed the street and walked towards the bar.

The phone in pocket started vibrating just as he stepped onto the opposite curb. The screen showed the caller to be his mother.
Slightly concerned, Castle answered the call.
"Mother, what is it? Are you and Alexis okay?" he asked.
"Yes, darling, we are absolutely perfect." came the diva's strong voice, "In fact, I was just calling to check up on you."

Pushing the bar door open, Castle frowned. "Me? What happened to me?"

"Katherine called, darling. She said she has been trying to call you, but you haven't answered, and we haven't heard from you since last week either." said Martha.

Perched on a barstool, Castle ordered himself a drink, his annoyance growing.

"Mother, you know what happened. She lied to my face for months, and she was only too happy when I left. We have nothing more to say to each other. Why would I pick up her calls?" He took a sip of his scotch before continuing, "As for speaking to you and Alexis, I had back to back events this week. I was planning on calling you tonight."

His mother was quiet for a second.
"Well, alright darling, as long as you're okay. But speak to Katherine. Avoiding the issue doesn't make it go away."

"Mother, I'll call you every day if you like, but I don't want to talk to Ka-Beckett, are we clear? said Castle angrily.

"Okay, Richard. It's your decision." Castle could hear the resignation in her voice. "I'm just about to head out for a night on the town darling," she continued, in a more chipper tone, "Shall we talk tomorrow?"
"Yes, mother, I'll call you tomorrow morning before my signing. Bye."

Sliding his phone back into his pocket, Castle downed the rest of his scotch in one gulp, savouring the burn. Why did she have to drag his mother into this?

Damn you, Beckett, he thought slamming his fist on the counter, making his empty glass rattle. Castle ordered himself another scotch, kneading his forehead with his fists.
His mother was right. Deep down inside, he knew that he couldn't avoid Beckett forever. But he still burned, with rage, with hurt and sheer embarrassment.
He threw back the second glass of scotch, before resting his aching head on the cool countertop.

"Hey."

Startled, Castle looked up, only to see a pretty brunette slide onto the stool next to him. "Hi." he replied, offering her a polite smile.
She gestured to the bartender to get her a martini, then turned to Castle.

"Can I get you a drink?"

Castle sighed softly. The woman was not unattractive, with striking grey eyes and a sweet face. But he couldn't start anything up with anyone. Not even a one-night stand.
It wouldn't be fair to lead someone on when he only had one woman on his mind and he had promised himself he wouldn't stoop so low as to seek meaningless sex as a balm for him wounds, tempting as it may be.
So, he smiled again at the brunette, before shaking his head.

"It's very nice of you to offer, but I'm... involved with someone, so I'll have to decline." he said.

To his surprise, the brunette laughed.

"I have a girlfriend too, don't worry. You just look so sad that I thought a drink might cheer you up. So how about it?" she asked, raising one eyebrow.
Rick nodded slowly. She seemed nice enough, and intelligent. Besides, the writer in him was always on the lookout for new characters.

"Sure, okay. Why not? But please, allow me to pay. I'm Rick, by the way, Rick Castle."
"Elizabeth Morse, but please, call me Liz." replied the woman. She signaled to the bartender for fresh drinks before furrowing her brow. "Castle. As in the author?"

"On my better days," Rick said with a small smile.

Liz snapped her fingers, "I knew I'd seen you somewhere! I rather enjoy your books.." she said, as their drinks arrived.
"Thanks," replied Castle simply. "I don't mean to be rude, but won't your girlfriend mind that you're here?"

Smiling, Liz shook her head, "Jen's in DC for work. So tell me Rick, why are you so unhappy?" she asked gently.

Castle hesitated. He had known this woman for only about ten minutes, after all. What if she was a journalist, and this ended up splashed across the pages of some sleazy tabloid?

Picking up on his hesitation, Liz took a sip of her martini before speaking, "Look, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But I promise, I'm not some reporter after a scoop, if that's what you're afraid of. I'm just a lowly yoga instructor." she said.

That took Castle by surprise. Did she read my mind?

"It's just that I find that talking about stuff helps, especially if it's to a complete stranger. After all, they don't know you, so they can't judge, right?" she finished, with a small grin.

Castle had many shortcomings, but being a poor judge of character wasn't one of them. Characters were, literally, his bread and butter, after all. This woman, with her twinkling eyes and open smile, hardly seemed malicious.
And so, Castle found himself spilling his guts to a stranger, in a strange bar, in a strange city.

They spoke freely for a couple of hours, before parting ways with a promise to meet at the same place the next day.

Castle replayed the whole conversation in his mind on the way back to his hotel.
Liz had been right, it was refreshing to talk to someone who didn't have an opinion, and didn't take a side.
He loved his mother and Alexis to bits, but they always tried to give him advice when it came to Beckett. Ryan and Espo had recently taken to shooting him slightly accusing looks, like he was to blame for everything.
In all that, he had forgotten what it was like to have someone to simply listen to him speak, without sermonising or chastising him.

The talk had given his thoughts some much needed clarity.
He was in love with Beckett. She had known it for nine months, but had lied and said that she didn't. She still hasn't knowingly acknowledged her lie to him.

Knowing Kate as he did, he knew this could mean one of two things. Either Kate didn't feel the same, and had tried to let him down easy in order to save their partnership and their friendship.
Or-and this felt like wishful thinking- she had feelings for him too, but ran from it to hid behind her walls of steel, in typical Beckett fashion.

Either way, this had to end. He couldn't be hung up over this forever. He had to move forward.

Castle knew what he had to do next as he got out of the cab. Despite what he had said to his mother a few short hours ago, he had to talk to Beckett.
A proper conversation, not their usual kind, wherein so much was left to subtext and innuendo.
It would take some effort to set aside his anger and hurt, and to get Beckett to open up, but it had to be done.

Tomorrow. I'll call her tomorrow, after I get back from talking to Liz, he thought as he slid into his plush, king-sized bed.

That night, for the first time in weeks, Richard Castle slept soundly.

There it is. Hope you liked it.

I felt that Castle needed to clear his head, get his thoughts straight, and from experience, I've found that talking to a random stranger really does help at times, hence Liz.

For those who missed Beckett in this chapter, fear not, she's going to be there plenty, come next chapter.

I've got a clear idea now, about where I want to take this story, so hopefully, if the writing gods are on my side, next chapter will be up soon.

Till then, REVIEW! Thanks for reading… :)

Rey