Arizona's POV
"Morning mama," I say into my phone and squirm a bit in the driver's seat of my parked car.
"Mornin' baby! How are you?" she exclaims. My mother is so very chipper. Like always. Her voice echoes through speakerphone in my quiet car. A small smile works on my lips as I briefly recount her speeches about killing people with kindness. It always worked too.
"I'm good. I saw the news last night. Seems like there's a big snowstorm up there. Are you guys okay?" I ask, a bit worried.
"Yeah, we're all okay, but it looks like your dad and I won't make it for Thanksgiving this year," she says. I can almost see the frown on her face and I get a little sad too.
"It's okay. I don't want you guys traveling in bad weather. Flights are being cancelled soon anyway," I point out.
"Hopefully the storm will pass and the weather will be better up here when you fly in for Christmas," she says with some hope in her voice.
"I hope so too, Mom," she keeps talking but I zone out. It's two days before Thanksgiving and things have been going well. Callie and Addison have been having lunch with Teddy, Mark, and I a few times during the week at school when our schedules permit. Sometimes we'll all go hang out at the library and study. Callie and I have become good friends, not close friends – I still have my secret among other things – but good friends. I've come to realize that I really really like her. Like a lot. These feelings scare the hell out of me because I've never felt this intensely about someone, even Heather. And if it were a few months ago, I would have run like hell and slept with the first chick I saw at some random bar. But I need to move on and I can't keep thinking that Steak kni –I mean Heather and I will ever get back together. It's been consuming my thoughts for a while and she's one of the reasons why I haven't fully moved on. Because I've been silently hoping for months that she'll get better and get out of there and we'll be okay. But she's still in there. And I'm out here. And Callie's out here and I really freaking like this girl. So here I am. Stalling in my car while I talk to my mom. I need to let go of my past and today's gonna be that day.
"Listen Ma, I hate to cut this short, but I've got some things to do today. I'll keep in touch. Love you," I say and hang up after she says her goodbyes," my hands have a death grip on the steering wheel - so much so that my knuckles are white and my palms are sweaty. Despite that, I still have to do this. I need to do this. My eyes scan the parking lot and find nothing but a few parked cars. It's a bit gloomy and dark out today and I hope that the weather is not foreshadowing how things will go inside the building that I've been staring at for 30 minutes in my car. Woman up and fucking get in there. My brain demands and I take a breath. Let's fucking do this. With my car locked up and my keys and wallet tucked in my pocket, I make my way inside.
Two female cops, a blonde and a dark skinned one, are seated inside by the doors. One of them motions for me to go through the alarm gate, which looks much like the ones at any store.
"Hi, I'm here to see a friend of mine," I say, nervously. The blonde one eyes me and sips her coffee.
"ID please," she says. I pull out my wallet and hand her my card. She proceeds to write my name down on a sticky badge and hands it back to me with my ID.
"I, um, don't know what floor she's on," I squeak out.
Both of their eyebrows rise in suspicion and they eye me again.
"What is her name?" the dark skinned one asks.
"Heather Colms," I say as I put my ID back in my wallet.
They start typing and clicking things on their computers and I peel off my nametag and stick it on my shirt.
"It looks like she's on 3C. Dual diagnosis floor," the blonde says. I suddenly hear a loud voice in the overhead speaker say Special Teams 4 Alpha Special Teams 4 Alpha
"What does that mean?" I ask.
The cops chuckle a little when they see my scared expression. "It's when there's a situation going on that needs intervention by doctors and nurses. Basically, the patient is in danger of hurting themselves or others. The number refers to the floor and alpha is a code name for which wing it is. There are different code names though. Happens all the time over here," the darker woman informs.
"I see," my throat goes dry and my palms start to get clammy again.
"So just go straight down and take the elevator up to the third floor and then take a right once you step off, Ms Robbins," the other instructs and buzzes me in. I thank them and go through the door and take the elevator up to the third floor. Dual diagnosis? Shit. This is serious.
I follow the cop's instructs and take a right when I get off. I'm met with two sets of double doors when I get to 3C. There's a button on the wall to the left that says 'push to open' so I do. I walk through the little corridor and get to the second set of doors. There are two slits of clear, hard plastic that allows you to see inside, so I take a peek. Wow, it's a lot different than I expected. A few patients are milling about. Some are sitting on the couch by the TV that is locked and encased with hard plastic. There are a few cafeteria-like tables placed around in which some families are visiting patients. Against the wall on the left are three payphone-type phones attached to the wall. A few nurses and patient techs are hanging out by the nurse's station close to the double doors. The doors are locked, but a tech spots me and sees my badge. He unlocks it and lets me in.
"Hello," I say, uneasily. I haven't spotted Heather yet, so I'm hoping I'm in the right place.
"Hi, here to see someone today?" he asks with a smile.
"Yes, this is the dual diagnosis floor right? And what does that mean by the way?" I ask.
"First time visiting this place?" I nod and he continues, "Yes, this is dual diagnosis. Most of the patients here have two diagnoses. Could be anything really. Schizophrenia and depression, bipolar and addiction. It varies. Visiting hours end at 3 today. Who are you here to see?"
Before I can answer, the overhead speaker goes off again. Special Teams all clear Special Teams all clear.
"All clear. That's good right?" I ask, my anxiety increasing.
"Yup that's good. They got the situation under control. I'm Jim by the way and I'm one of the techs here," he says.
I relax a bit and nod, "Nice to meet you. I'm here to see Heather Colms," I say. We start walking towards the tables and Jim tells me to take a seat while he goes to her room.
After a few minutes, he walks back out and a tall, skinny red head follows him. She's wearing baggy grey sweatpants and one of my old band t-shirts that I was looking for and never found. Her hair has grown a lot since the last time I saw her, but she looks good. Her green eyes find mine and she stops in her tracks. A huge smile forms on her face, as she gets closer until she's standing right next to me. I awkwardly stand up and she embraces me in a tight hug.
"Hi baby, I've missed you," she whispers. I smile back, "I've missed you too." It's not a lie because I really have missed her.
We sit on opposite sides after hugging for a while. The silence is deafening as she stares at me while I fidget with my hands.
"I'm sorry I never came to visit you," I say.
She takes my hands in hers and strokes them with her thumbs. I look at our entwined hands and it feels so strange. She feels like a stranger, but I don't move mine away.
"I tried to call you, but it said your number was disconnected," she says.
A guilty look adorns my face and I tell her the truth. "I uh…I decided to change it when I got a new phone," I say.
"Oh, okay. Can you…can you at least look at me?" she whispers.
I look at her face and a rush of sadness fills me. God, I really missed her. She still has cute little freckles across her pale cheeks and nose. Tears start rolling down her face and she untangles her hands and wipes them away hastily.
"I'm sorry. About everything that happened between us," she chokes out.
"I know. You don't have to cry," she nods and wipes her nose, "what happened? What did the doctors say?" I ask.
"I uh, they said I have undiagnosed bipolar disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. But I've been taking my meds and participating in group. I've only had a few relapses, but my doctor doesn't think I'm ready to leave yet," she explains.
I nod, "I see. You look well though," I say.
With a smile, she says, "Thanks. You look really good too, Zona."
"I um…I wanted to come visit you. To talk," I get out. My palms are sweaty and I'm wondering if this is such a good idea after all. I look around and see Jim taking a patient's vitals and the other tech is observing everyone. You can do this.
I take a breath and start talking. "Look, Heather, I've really missed you. You were my best friend and that year we were together was a really good year. I mean, compared to my previous relationship, you were the first meaningful one. I loved you. So much," I say.
Heather starts crying again and squeaks out, "I loved you. I still do. I miss you. Everything about you," she leans forwards and whispers, "I miss making love to you."
A blush forms on my cheeks and she smirks. "Have you been with anyone?" she asks after I don't say anything for a few seconds.
I hesitate and rub my sweaty hands on my jeans. "Yes, I have. I was hurting. With you and Tim. I was…I wasn't in a good place, until recently," I say.
A frown forms on her face and she seems to deflate. Bags under eyes become noticeable for the first time and she crosses her arms.
"I waited for you for months. I kept thinking that we would be together eventually," I continue.
She puts her hands on the table between us and entwines her fingers, "we still can! I'll be out of here soon, baby please!" she pleads.
"I can't wait anymore," my eyes tears up and close them tight to keep them down, "I met someone and I really like her. I think she likes me too. I want to see where things can go with her," I release a breath and open my eyes again.
Heather looks sad for a second and then her face flashes red angry. She runs her hands through her hair and starts tapping her fingers on the table.
"I'm sorry, Heather. I really am," I say. The tall redhead stands up and starts pacing in front of the table. She's clenching and unclenching her fists. I look around for Jim and see him watching us. He nods towards me and I put my hand up to say 'wait'. He backs off and waits patiently. I stand up and gather myself.
Heather stops pacing and looks at me. "Please, don't leave. You can't just leave me, Arizona please!" she pleads.
"I'm so sorry Heather, I-" she cuts me off when she slams her hands down on the table and yells "NO!"
I start to slowly walk backwards and Jim moves toward us. The other patients have moved back into their rooms and the visitors have migrated to a corner.
"You can't leave me! After everything we've been through," Heather starts pacing towards me, "I kept your secret. I have loved you unconditionally. You are NOT leaving!"
I'm about to start running when I suddenly feel her fist connect swiftly with my jaw. The next few minutes pass by so fast. I'm on the ground as I see Jim tackle Heather down and the nurses push a button on the wall.
"Fuck," I wince. I touch my jaw and already feel it swelling up. Special Teams 3 Charlie Special Teams 3 Charlie
God, that hurt like a motherfucker. I finally sit up and watch everything unfold. The doctors rush through the door and one of nurses gives a shot to Heather while Jim is holding her down. She finally calms down and they carry her to her room.
"Are you okay?" Jim asks when he gets back. He helps me to my feet
"I'm fine," I say. A nurse comes by to check on me and looks at my jaw.
"Just ice it when you get home. She was doing so well lately. I don't know what provoked her," the male nurse says before walking away.
I chuckle a little and Jim escorts me out of the unit. "What happened in there?" he asks.
"I broke up with her," I chuckle again, "I just needed closure, you know?"
"Yeah, I get it. Take care of yourself," he says and walks back to the unit.
Wow. That was the greatest idea you've ever had. You are one smart cookie, my friend.
" Shut up brain! She's sick and she needs to be in here," I whisper and make my way to my car and back home.
I have a headache by the time I roll into my bed and my jaw throbs. I down two pain pills and follow up with water. I grab the ice pack I snatched from the freezer and press it onto my face. Teddy is at Henry's and Mark is…I don't know actually, but probably with Addison. I hadn't told any of them I was going to see Heather today anyway so it doesn't even matter. I feel my phone buzz in my back pocket and I pull it out. A smile forms on my face and I wince, forgetting that I was just punched in the face a couple of hours ago.
Hey, I don't know if you have any plans for Thanksgiving, but Ads and I are having a lunch/dinner (linner) get together and everyone in our little group is invited. Hope you can make it :) – C
I totally can. Sounds good! – A
Great, I'll text you the deets tomorrow. – C
Cool. What should I bring? – A
Whatever you like. And yourself ;) – C
I will be at the 'linner' for sure :) – A
You did it. I chuckle to myself and sigh. Yes, I did. I didn't do this for Callie; I did it for myself. I can finally move on. With my phone plugged in and the ice pack on my face, I drift off into a dream filled with a certain Latina and I holding hands and laughing at the park with a really cute dog in our laps.
I hope this dream comes true.
AN: Sorry, not a lot of Calzona in this chapter, but I really wanted Arizona to get closure. I finished my Psych rotation a few months ago and it was really interesting and I wanted to incorporate some of that in the story. I feel like mental illness is something that people don't like to talk about, but I think we should talk about because it's important.
AN2: To answer the question of ages: Arizona, Mark and Teddy are 23 and Callie and Addison are 24. Thank you so much for all the reviews, follows, and favorites! Never thought I'd get this much of a response from my silly and weird (Really weird ass) story. Thanks for reading and let me know your thoughts!