"Katniss you do," Peeta argues from our bed. I shoot him a death glare and continue to struggle.
"I don't want to get a bunch of new clothes," I whine and throw my shirt over my head. We have been home for almost a month and none if my clothes fit. There aren't exactly many places to buy clothing in twelve so I have been wearing Peeta's shirts and stretchy pants to hold me over, but it's very clear I need something else.
"Katniss just call Effie or Cinna and they will send you plenty of clothing," Peeta assures me. "You're only going to get bigger, and if you do it now you won't have to do it again"
"Whatever," I mumble and start looking for one of his clean shirts. I find a clean grey one and pull it over my head, and lay down next to him on the bed.
"Have you talked to Gale," he asks me, slowly stroking all the stray hairs off my forehead.
"No the other day I tried to explain to him what is at risk, and he wouldn't let me talk," I sigh, "I don't know why he can't just be my friend!"
"I don't know. I'm going to call Effie and see what I can do about your clothes. I'll be right downstairs. I think you should talk to him though," he tells me and kisses my forehead.
I watch him walk out of the room and I listen to his heavy footfall down the stairs. I roll off the bed and go to the bathroom to pee. I swear I pee three times an hour and maybe more some days. Along with my over active bladder I have been gaining weight at a rapid pace. I have gained back all the weight I lost during the games and some. Peeta is happy that I'm doing so well and so is my mother. I worry all the time that something is wrong, but Peeta always reminds that I'm fine. Between worry about Snow and the baby that depends completely on me, I don't get much sleep at night. I usually just watch Peeta sleep, and then during the day I take short naps. I don't want to risk going into the woods, so I have a good amount of free time for napping.
I have this routine that I spend here with Peeta, but I feel as if like it isn't getting my child any closer to safety. The only thing that I can use to my advantage is the victory tour, but that is three months away. I we will just have to hope that us being together on the tour will be enough. If Snow doesn't believe us, I don't know what we are going to do.
I stop my destructive thoughts and walk downstairs. I can hear Peeta on the phone in the office so I wander into the kitchen to find a snack. Peeta makes it a habit of keeping many different kinds of pastries in the house, and I have come to love the little things. He never complains when he has to cook dinner. How he always goes out of is way to help me. Honestly, he makes me feel bad because he does everything without thinking, and it's a struggle for me to give him a compliment.
I look through the bowl of breads on the counter and fine three cheese buns, which are my favorite thing Peeta makes. I munch on them gaze mindlessly out the window over the sink. It looks nice outside and a perfect day to hunt, but I wouldn't risk it.
I get so lost in my own thoughts that I don't hear Peeta walk up behind me, and wrap his arms around my waist. He sets his chin on my shoulder and kisses the spot behind my ear. I smile and turn around in his arms. "So what did Effie say?"
"I will get a shipment of maternity clothes on the very next train," he says in a high-pitched Capitol accent. We both laugh, but then I grow concerned by what she might send me.
"Did you stress the point of clothes that I would actually like," I groan and Peeta chuckles.
"Yes I made sure to mention to send some plain shirts and pants," he reassures me and leans in for a kiss. I respond by moving my lips in time with his, and when the kiss deepens and he traces my bottom lip with his tongue I allow him access. I always thought it would be strange to use your tongue when kissing someone, but everything with Peeta is so, right. I hook my fingers in his hair, and he picks me up and sets me on the counter. The best thing with living together, we're never interrupted. We haven't done anything more then kiss, but I still like the privacy.
"Oh, and I also talked to my father and he would like to have us over for dinner, with my whole family," he draws out the last part.
"Your mother hates me," I point out and Peeta shakes his head.
"She hates everyone, but I would like you to meet my brothers," he says trying to persuade me.
"When would this dinner be taking place?"
"I told my dad tonight," he tells me quickly knowing I won't like it.
"Okay, I have to find something to wear. Let me go talk to my mom and see if she can help. Besides I'm sure everyone would love to see the two of us walking through town together," I add and Peeta frowns.
"I guess," he sighs and looks away from me.
"I hate that we can't do this at our own pace, but we don't have a choice. I'm sorry Peeta."
"It isn't anything you did. I guess if I hadn't said those three words in the arena to you we wouldn't be in this situation." He says and then takes a deep breath and looks at me again. "I just don't want you or the baby to get hurt, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure that you are both safe."
My stomach fills with butterflies as he proclaims this, and I know that he means it. His words comfort me, but scare me that he would probably be willing to give his own life for mine. It makes me shudder at the thought of not having Peeta here. I really don't think I could survive without him, and that is something I have been thinking more and more about lately. How much I have been depending on him since the games. Every nightmare he has been there with a warm embrace and even kisses. He always is putting my needs before his own. All his wonderful qualities amaze me that even though a horrible woman raised him, he is still so kind and gentle. I have known since the games that I have cared for him deeply, but I just thought that it was because of everything going on and our history. However, this past month he has done nothing but show me how much he truly loves me. He has never said it, but I can tell, and I think I might be falling for him too.
I give Peeta one more kiss and then hop down off the counter. "I will be back hopefully with an outfit soon," I smirk and he smiles too.
"Tell your Mother and Prim I said hello," he hollers at me as I head for the front door.
"I will," I yell back and start across the lawn.
I know they should be home so I don't bother knocking on the front door. I walk right into the kitchen to find my mother stirring something over the stove and Prim sitting at the kitchen table with Buttercup in her lap.
Buttercup hisses to announce my arrival and Prim jumps up and runs over to me.
"Katniss!"
"Hey Prim," I say giving her hug, and then sitting down at the table in the chair across from hers.
"So what brings you over here," Prim questions me.
"Well I have to go to dinner tonight with Peeta's family, and I need something to wear. Nothing really fits anymore and I cannot sew," I explain and Prim nods and looks over to my mother.
"Well I have some old dresses upstairs," my mom says but I crinkle my nose.
"Any way to not wear a dress," I mumble and my mom smiles.
"Of course, you two watch this stove while I try to come up with something," she says and walks towards the stairs.
"Thank you," I say, she smiles and walks out of the room.
I sit back in my chair and look at Prim who is smiling like a fool. "What?"
"I just think it's funny that you don't fit in to your clothes anymore, and just thinking about you waddling around makes me laugh," she laughs as I scowl.
"Whatever," I mumble under my breath, and cross my arms over my chest.
"Relax Katniss I thought you would be happier now that you guys are done fighting for your lives," she teases, but I stiffen at her words. She has no idea what is really going on. I decided too spare her and my mother of knowing the dangerous details.
I try to play off my reaction, but she sees right through me. "While Mom is working on your clothes why don't you and I take Lady for a walk to the meadow," Prim suggest innocently, but I know she wants to talk without the risk of my mother over hearing us.
I follow her outside and watch as she gets Lady, and we slowly walk in the direction of the meadow. "What is going on," she questions me.
"Nothing you need to worry about," I answer her, but she isn't satisfied. I don't ant to tell her what is really hanging on our backs so I have to think of an excuse. "I think I'm going to head back my legs are really sore." Which really isn't a lie.
"You promise you would tell me if something was wrong," she says with skeptical look.
"Yes," I lie. "I will talk to you later," I say to her before walking back in the direction of Victor's Village.
Instead of going back to my moms, I go to see what Peeta's up to. I walk through the front door and it doesn't take me long to find Peeta in the kitchen. Whatever he is making smells delicious so I hop up on top of the counter, and swing my feet while I watch him work. It looks like he is making a four course meal, and I'm slightly confused as to why he would be cooking when we are going to dinner in a just a few hours.
"My father called and said that my mother didn't want to cook. So now I am coking dinner for us here," he explains as he turns back to the stove.
"Oh, well I'm having an outfit made so I should be good by the time they get here."
"That's good because I don't mind you wearing my shirts, but my mother might have a few comments if she saw you," he sighs and moves across the kitchen next to me.
"I think there will be comments no matter what I wear," I retort and he nods his head in agreement.
"Just try to ignore her," he asks me.
"I'll try but I don't know how long I will be able to go without punching her right in the face. I mean what kind of person beats their kids when they make a mistake. Makes my blood boil," I hiss. Peeta sets his hand on my knee and slowly rubs up and down my thigh. I hadn't realized how sore I really was until he started to massage my leg. "Please continue," I mumble and he chuckles.
"Would you like a foot rub," he offers.
"You really want to rub my feet?" I ask him in disbelief.
"Of course I notice they looked a little swollen this morning and I highly doubt wearing your hunting boots helps any," he points out and helps me down off the counter.
I walk into the living room and settle myself on the couch and Peeta kneels in front of me. He starts to untie my laces, but I stop him. "Really I can get my own shoes off."
"Just sit back and relax," he instructs me and I don't argue.
I lean back into the plush cushion, and already feeling better when he gets my boots off, but when he starts to knead my foot I moan and my eyes roll into the back of my head.
"This is wonderful," I yawn and he works up from the arch of my foot to my ankle, and then my calf. He keeps rubbing and kneading my feet and after ten minutes, he gets off the floor and sits next to me on the couch. "Thank you," I whisper.
"Your welcome, now what do I get as payment," he teases me and pokes my side.
"I am not rubbing your feet, but I guess I could give you a kiss," I mumble my cheeks growing redder by the minute. I'm still uncomfortable with 'romantic' moments. I'm so awkward and usually end up ruining everything, but Peeta like everything else he does is perfect.
Peeta smiles down at me and meets my lips halfway in a sweet and gentle kiss. I smile against his lips and pull away from him. "Good?"
"Not yet," he says with a devilish grin and pulls me in for another kiss. Once we stop for air, I settle my head on his shoulder and listen to his steady breathing. Soon my eyes start to get heavy. I'm fighting the drowsiness with little success, but thankfully Peeta starts talking.
"Someone's here," he tells me and gets off the couch. I watch as he walks out of the room and I hear the front door open and close. He enters with what I'm assuming is my outfit for tonight, and I happy at what I see.
I got my mom a sewing machine a week or two ago and she has put it to good use. She took some blue denim pants and put a six-inch wide elastic waistband at the top. The shirt is a plain long sleeve dark green. "Perfect," I say and take the clothes from Peeta.
I wash up and then go back into the bedroom to change. The pants fit loosely, and the waistband goes up past my belly button. I pull the green shirt over my head and re-braid my hair before looking in the mirror.
My eyes go right to my stomach. This is the first time I'm actually wearing a shirt my size and I realize how much I've grown outwards. When I turn to the side, you can see the distinctive bump. It's still small, but on my skinny frame it looks strange. I'm basically the same every where else, and then I have this gut sticking out on the front of me.
I hear Peeta coming up the stairs and he smiles when he sees me dressed. "Your Mom did a good job."
" Yeah, but I think I 'popped'," I say and he examines me closely.
"I guess you did, but that means that the baby is doing well, just remember that. My family will be here in a couple minutes," he tells me and I nod as he rushes back downstairs.
I sit down on the bed and start to prepare myself. Last time I saw Peeta's mother was a week after we got back, and she clearly showed her dislike for me. I didn't even say anything and she got an insult or two in. Tonight's guaranteed to be brutal. I grunt when I hear the loud knock at the front door, and force myself to move from our bedroom. I drag myself down the stairs and manage to put a happy smile on my face as I see his Father and Brothers walk in and then his Mother.
"Hey son," his Dad says giving him a hug. "Katniss," he greets me and pulls me into a hug as well. His Dad is strange to hug because he looks so much like Peeta. The only difference is how his face is aged and worn, and his blond hair darker mixed with a slight graying.
His brothers say a friendly hello, and his Mother just turns her nose up at me and walks towards the dining room. Peeta and I follow behind them, and once they're settled at the table I help Peeta with carrying out the food to the table.
"Just let me handle her," he reminds me and kisses my forehead. I give him a reassuring smile and follow him back into the dining room.
I am sitting as far away from his Mother as possible, but I don't think it will help much. It's hard for me to ignore her glares and nasty looks. I just look at Peeta who is sitting next to me and keep biting my tongue.
Dinner progresses well until his Mother brings up a very touchy subject.
"When are you two going to get married," she asks us in her cynical tone.
I look over at Peeta and decide to plow ahead. "We aren't panning on rushing into anything," I tell her and she doesn't seemed pleased with my answer.
"You already knocked her up, why wait?" She pushes back and Peeta finds my hand under the table and entwines his fingers with mine.
"Mom, please. We are taking it one thing at a time, and we aren't going to get married just because of the baby," Peeta shoots back and she just shakes her head.
"Good cause she will probably leave you anyway once it's born. Dump it on you, and then run back to the Seam," she curses and I can't take it anymore. I push my chair away from the table and storm out of the room. I hear Peeta calling after me, and I also hear his mother say," look already running away from her problems!"
I turn on my heel and march right back into the dining room. "What is wrong with you? I would never leave my child. I am not with Peeta just because of the baby! I am with him because he is the only reason I haven't given up! The only reason I am still alive! I know that he loves me more then anything else in the world, and I'm starting to think I love him too! You are a horrible person and would never understand what that feels like, and you will never be near our child," I yell and look at the stunned table. I look at Peeta and I know that I crossed the line. "I'm sorry Peeta," I whisper and run out of the house.
I start running and don't stop until I get to the meadow. I curl up under a tree and start to cry. I probably ruined everything by yelling at her. I know he doesn't like his Mother, but I over stepped my boundaries. In addition, I almost told Peeta that I love him! It has only been a month and I almost said that! It scares the hell out of me, because this isn't me at all, but I have too. If I don't let myself love him then Snow will do the unthinkable, and I'll be damned if I'll let him kill another innocent child.
Through my clouded vision I make out the shape of someone walking towards me, and when they call my name I know it's Peeta. He sits down next to me and wraps his arms around my shoulders. "I'm sorry," I sob, but Peeta stops me.
"You did nothing, but stand up for yourself. I have wanted to do that for years," he says and wipes the tears off my cheek. "Let's go home." He says and as he stands up he lifts me into his arms, and I don't try to get away. I let him carry me all the way home.
It has been a week since the dinner with his family and Peeta hasn't been into work, and has stayed home and been hovering over me. He constantly asks how I'm feeling and it is very annoying. The only relief I get from his over bearing care is when I go for a walk one afternoon. I don't walk to town, but instead head to the Seam. I walk past my old house and then past Gales. No one is home this time of day, so I continue onto the Hob. I haven't been here since the morning of the reaping and Greasy Sae is more then happy to give me a big steaming bowl of soup.
As I'm chatting at Sae's booth I fell a strong hand land on my shoulder. "Hey Catnip," Gale greets me.
"Hey Gale," I say back surprised he isn't working.
"Could we talk, alone," he asks me, and motions towards the door. I nod and drop some coins on the counter and follow Gale outside. We stop a few yards from the fence and face each other.
"How's everything in family land," he snorts eyeing up my protruding stomach.
"It's not like that Gale if you would just let me explain," I start, but he cuts me off.
"How you're pregnant and living with your boyfriend?"
"Yes! Just shut up. Snow threatened me that if he wasn't convince that I am actually in love with Peeta… He will kill the baby."
"So you're living with him just to protect your little mistake," he snaps.
"Don't say that," I hiss. "Just because it wasn't planned, doesn't mean I want it killed."
"So do you actually love him or was it all an act," he asks his lips set in a firm line.
"I don't know," I mumble and cross my arms. "It's what I have been trying to figure out."
Gale takes one-step closer to me, but I don't back away. He leans down slightly and before I can stop him he crashes his lips onto mine, and it takes all my might to push him off me.
"I just had to do that once," he says.
"Gale it could never be like that between you and me. It just wouldn't work, and I want you to understand that I just want you as a friend."
"Well being your friend isn't what I want to be my whole life," he mumbles and without saying anything else, he walks away from me.
I take a deep breathe and try to gather my composure. I never knew that Gale liked me like that. I have always though to of him as a brother or as the Capitol portrays him my cousin. The way he kissed me felt so wrong, and rough. I just want to erase the memory from my mind. It was nothing like how I feel when I kiss Peeta. How I'm light headed and the butterflies in my stomach. It makes me want to kiss him again. Gale's kiss was so forced and no one ounce of love was in it. I feel so bad because what if someone just saw that. It would for sure get back to the Capitol and we would be doomed. I have to tell Peeta, but then again I don't want to hurt him or give him the wrong idea. This would take us ten steps backwards instead of forward.
I turn on my heels and walk back home, and when I walk through the front door, I can smell Peeta's cooking. I take off my boots to relieve some of the pressure on my aching feet; maybe Peeta could give me another foot massage that would be nice. I smile to myself while walking into the kitchen, and take a seat at our kitchen table.
"How was your walk," he asks pouring me a glass of water.
"It was fine," I say evenly and Peeta looks at me for a long second before deciding not to point out my lie. I don't feel like talking about everything right now, and I definitely don't want to argue with him.
I'm quieter than usual during dinner, and I elect to go to bed as soon as the dishes are done. Peeta says he wants to do some things and then he will be up.
I slip into bed and know I won't fall asleep until Peeta joins me, but I do shut my eyes and manage to lightly doze for awhile until I feel the bed dip from his weight and wrap his arms around me. I nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck and his free hand finds my stomach and rubs small circles. He has made it a habit of his to stroke my growing belly. I think it's strange, but relaxing at the same time, so I don't complain.
"Are you feeling alright," he asked me.
"Yeah why," I said in response.
"It seemed like something was bothering you after you got home from your walk. Did something happen?"
"No"
"Please don't lie to me Katniss."
"Peeta seriously drop it," I beg, but with no success.
"Katniss it can't be that bad. Just tell me and then we will go to sleep."
"I saw Gale," I admit. "I tired to talk to him, but he… kissed me."
I finish my sentence and dead silence falls between us. This has to be the longest thirty seconds of my life and I start to ramble to save myself. "I didn't kiss him back. He just did it before I could move away, and I pushed him off me. I swear Peeta, and I hated every bit of it. I just didn't want to tell you, and you get hurt. I'm sorry. I will understand if you don't want to be around me tonight," I start but he cuts me off. His blues look dark with rage not towards me though.
"Katniss just stop. I'm not mad because he threw himself at you. I'm mad because you didn't tell me. This is something I should have known about right away. Not because of the action, but because of what this could mean for us," he says in a stern voice.
"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I should have told you, but I thought it would have been better if you hadn't known."
"Stop apologizing. Just promise me from here on out you will tell me everything, no matter how small, if it affects the three of us in that sense. You have to tell me."
"Okay."
"I am mad at Gale though," he said, "he shouldn't have acted out. I want to punch him for all the damage he could have caused."
Peeta's tone when he says this scares me. He sounds so certain that beating Gale would solve our problems. It's not his usual sweet and understanding self, he sounds like an over possessive man, the kind that talks with violence instead of words. It makes me uncomfortable thinking about Peeta and Gale fighting. I know Peeta could win, but I don't want it to come to that.
"Please don't fight him."
"He can't get away with that. You would really forgive him for forcing himself on you?"
"I never said I forgave him," I said, "I just don't want violence. Promise me you won't do anything stupid."
"No promises," he mumbles.
I have had enough with his stubbornness. I untangle myself from his arms and storm out of the room. I stomp into the kitchen, find the first thing that is sweet, and fling myself down on the couch. With the bag of candy balanced on my stomach, I slouch down and start to pop the chocolate candies into my mouth. I wish I could go out to the woods and blow off some steam, but it would be asking for a death sentence.
With the lamp on next to my seat, I look out the dark window, but end up looking at my own reflection in the glass. I look disheveled and tired, dark circles forming under my eyes. You can't exactly call it the pregnancy glow.
I finish my bag of candy and then find a more comfortable position on the couch. I'm surprised that Peeta hasn't come downstairs yet, but I'm glad he hasn't either. I pull a fleece blanket up around my shoulders and prepare for a restless night.
I wake up sweating and panting repeating to myself, 'it was just a dream. It was just a dream.'
I fumble with the blanket that's wrapped around my legs and stumble out of the living room. I fly up the stairs and go straight to our room. I dive under the covers and snuggle into Peeta's side. Even in his sleep, he opens his arms for me and holds me close. The dream was so vivid and I swore I watched Snow kill Gale and Peeta by hand.
Peeta's steady breathing has ceased I know he must be awake. "It was a dream." Is all I said and he knows that I need him to hold me.
"I promise I won't punch him," he said and stroked his hand up and down my arm. "I promise I won't."
"Thank you."
For a while, I stay very close to Peeta. Every time he leaves the house, I am right beside him. He doesn't mind my company, but I'm really trying to prevent a run in with Gale. I know he said that he wouldn't do anything, but Peeta is over protective and wouldn't let something like that go so easily.
However, the one day I stay behind while Peeta retrieves my new maternity clothing from the train station. He is gone for about twenty minutes before he comes bursting through the front door, with Haymitch in toe.
He puts the large box done, turns, and runs in the other direction. "Haymitch what is going on," I question and he doesn't answer. Instead, he shuts the door and blocks my route to follow Peeta.
"Sweetheart why don't you go lie down, no need to stress while you got little cub in there," he says sweetly and motions towards the living room.
"I'm pregnant not dying," I snap. "What is going on?"
"Nothing, just let Peeta handle it," he says and when I see a large group of people coming towards us I start to worry. I start to panic when I see that they are carry someone who looks bloody and I know they are going to my mothers. I start to breathe slightly when I see that Peeta is helping carrying the person and not the one on the board. It doesn't stop me from running around Haymitch and towards the group. I start to run towards Peeta when I finally realize who they are carrying, Gale.
I look at his back and I can see individual lash marks red and raw running the length of his back. He is moaning in pain as I move along him. I lock eyes with Peeta and I notice that he has a gash on the side of his face.
"New Peacekeeper, over fifteen lashes," Peeta pants as they reach my mothers house. I run ahead of them and yell for my mother and Prim.
They both come rushing down stairs alarmed, but I point to the group behind me, and they wave us to the kitchen. After clearing the table, they transfer Gale over leaving him in the hands of my mother.
I get some ice out of the freezer and wrap a piece of cloth around. I gently apply it to Peeta's face. "What happened," I ask him, as my sister injects morphine into Gales back, and within moments, he is dead to the world.
"Apparently, he was caught poaching, but he wasn't out there. He was walking home from work, and was dragged to the square Ripper saw the whole thing," Peeta whispers and I nod. Snow did this. He must have saw that kiss and sent Gale a message.
I start to feel lightheaded and have to balance by reaching out for Peeta. He leads me to a chair and I put my head in my hands. I look down at my stomach and I know that I have just killed our child. Nothing could make up for this. It might not have been a long or returned kiss, but it was still a kiss. In Snow's eyes, this has only convinced him that I am nothing but a liar.
I look up at Peeta and I can tell he is thinking the same thing. This was just a warning shot, the worst is yet to come. I sink down in my chair and look over at Gale sleeping at the table. He may have been my best friend for so long, but after the danger he put us in. I don't know if I could ever trust him again. He said it himself he couldn't be friends, he needs more then that.
"Come with me, please," I ask Peeta quietly. He nods and follows me into the living room. I sit down on the couch and when Peeta settles in I bury my head in his chest and the tears start to fall. "I'm scared Peeta, this was just a warning."
"I know," he agrees and wraps his arm around me, "but that will never stop me from protecting the two people I love the most."
I sigh and give him a pathetic look. "I remember out agreement, but Katniss. Right now I just want to say I love you."
The words rolling off his tongue so naturally, it makes me wonder if it would be the same for me saying them back, and seeing what Snow did to Peeta it makes me wonder how much time we have left in this world. If I keep trying to figure out my feelings, and taking too long, I might miss the chance to say those three words back, and I could never imagine Peeta going without knowing how I really feel about him. I can't imagine not waking up next to him every morning, falling asleep without him besides me. I can't see my future with anyone else. I miss him even when he is just at the bakery for a few hours. I am happy when he is around, and I know he loves our unborn child to pieces. I might die soon anyway, so I have to get if off my chest. I have kept my feelings in too long.
"I," I start but am cut off when my mother enters the room.
"I'm sorry but he is awake. I thought you would like to talk to him," she said, then walked back out of the room.
I don't move from my spot next to Peeta. He sighs and stands up. He moves in front of me, and holds out his. "Go, it's the right thing to do."
Of course, Peeta would be the voice of reason in this situation. He still respects that Gale is or was a part of my life. I take his hand and he lifts me to my feet. He leans down and rests his forehead against mine. I close my eyes and take in his smell, the calming mix of vanilla and cinnamon. I lean into him more when he gently grazes his lips with mine. "Talk to him," he urges me one last time.
I take a deep breath and walk into the kitchen. Gale is lying on the table face down, and doesn't notice my presence until I take a seat in the creaky chair next to the table. He smiles through the daze of drugs and said, "hey Catnip."
"How are you feeling?"
"Fuzzy," is all he says. "You got bigger."
"Thanks for telling," me I snort.
We sit in silence for another minute and his eyes start to drop. "Sleep," I whisper and get out of my chair. I find Peeta sitting in the living room, and there is nothing more that I want to do then go home and fall into bed.
"Let's go home," I say and pull him with me out of my mother's house.
The next morning I go back over to check on Gale. He is still lying on the table, and I find Prim tending to his wounds. She looks at me from across the room and smiles, "he's much doing better."
"That's good," I say. "Could we have a minute alone?"
"Of course," she says and skips out of the room.
I sit in the same chair I was in last night and I look over the bandages on his back, and the wounded look in his eyes. "Gale this was a warning," I whisper leaning towards him. "I'm sorry, but I think it would be best if we just kept our distance. That thing you did a couple weeks ago caused this."
"Katniss, we don't have to worry about that if we do what we talked about, run," he said and winced at the pain from talking.
Running is absolutely out of the question. There are too many people to take, and whoever is left behind will be killed instantly. I have no doubt that anyone who any contact with us would be tortured for answers then killed. Besides, I can't live in wilderness with a baby on the way. Stay here or running has the possibility of death either way.
"I have other people to think about now," I reply. "I'm sorry, but it's what's best."
I leave before he can say anything else. Instead of going back home, I walk towards the fence. I don't dare go under, but I walk along it, looking into the woods with longing to visit when I feel the flutter. It's a short an fleeting feeling, but it makes me worry. Is this normal, or is something wrong?
I start walking home, and when I get halfway there I feel it again, and I pick up my pace. My breathing is labored when I barge into our house and practically run into Peeta as he came running down the stairs.
"What's wrong?" He asks his eyes scanning my body for any injuries.
"I just need to talk to my mother," I mumble and turn towards the door, but he stops me.
"She's in the kitchen. I called her over for some muffins I made while you were out."
"Oh," I say and follow him into the kitchen. Sure enough, my mom is putting half a dozen muffins into a paper bag. I don't waste any time and blurt, "mom on m walk I felt like this fluttering, and it happened twice. I didn't know if it was normal or if it meant something was wrong." I pant and brace myself against Peeta.
My mom smiles and looks at Peeta then back to me. "Katniss stop worrying. You probably felt the baby's movements for the first time."
I feel my face redden because I freaked out over something that is good, but then everything sinks in. I am going to be a mother. I am going to have a baby in less than five months. I knew that before this, but now it seems so real. The bump isn't just a bump, but it's out baby. I start to hyperventilate again, and I stumble down into the nearest chair. Within seconds, Peeta is in front of me telling me to breathe.
I focus on his voice and how it's gentle and stern at the same time. I close my eyes and he keeps telling me to breathe, and after a few minutes, I gain my composure.
"Sorry," I said to him and placed my head in my hands. "It's just so real now, and it scares me because now it isn't moving. How am I going to know if something is wrong? Shouldn't it still be moving?"
I hear my mother stifle a chuckle and Peeta shoots her a look over her shoulder. She wipes her expression clean and says, "The baby is small. It can't move constantly. When it does move take it as a good sign."
"Okay," I huff, but I know it will be hard. Having the reminder that this little human being is depending on not to screw it up is a lot of responsibility.
"I'll be going now, and Katniss don't be afraid to call or come over," she tells me and then I hear her footsteps echo down the hall and out the front door.
"Sure you are alright?" Peeta asks crouching down in front of me. He takes both my hands in his, and rubs small circles on my palms.
"Yeah, I just feel like there is so much weighing on us, and now that I could feel the baby. It scares me even more what Snow might do. I can't fail this baby."
Peeta gives me a sad smile, leans in, and kisses my forehead. "You will never fail our child. You are and will be the best mother."
"How do you?"
"Katniss you are protective, strong, and love so fiercely. I don't anyone more capable of becoming a mother."
I roll my eyes at his compliments, but I also don't argue. I just want to lie down and sleep. I have had enough of this day already and it's only a little past noon.
I wrap my arms around Peeta's neck and mumble 'bed' into his chest. I don't have to say anything else before he picks me up bridal style and easily carries me to our room. He helps me take off my boots before tucking me under the covers. He turns to leave but I stop him.
"Where are you going?"
"I was just going to finish cleaning up, but…," he trails off.
"Don't leave me," I whisper and I sound so exhausted that he doesn't bother taking another step away from the bed.
He crawls up tight to my side and wraps his arms around me. I use his chest as my pillow and listen to his steady heartbeat. The strong and consistent beats giving me the feeling those as long as he is breathing he will always try to protect me, and with that in mind, I slowly fall asleep.
That's it for now! A little slow going with this story, but once school is over with, I plan to have one chapter a week! Please leave a review! I love all of them so please please please review! Until next time…