Mysteries

Chapter 6: Worries and a little hope.

I could not sleep at all, tonight. I did have excuses, though.

I like sleeping in total darkness and quietness. Which I can't so now, 'cause of this stupid werewolf thing. (That was my mental annoyed voice, by the way.)

First, I can see way better in the dark, now. Even the smallest lights keep me awake. Like the bright green numbers on my alarm clock spitting 2:38 at my face. And the flashy red lights of the DVD player and telephone charger thing. I swear, I could read a book in this light.

And then there's way too much background noise. I used to turn that fan on if I couldn't sleep. But now, I can plainly hear Seth snoring in the next room over, Leah muttering something about stealing a bike in her sleep(she talks in her sleep, it's funny) way down the hall, the fridge, other electrical stuff, and I could even here the freaking ocean from almost a mile away.

But those aren't the main reasons I was kept awake. I was trying to go to sleep, but I kept thinking of random things. Okay, they probably weren't too random.

I made this mental list of all the worries in my life. That doesn't help much with sanity issues, does it?

Here, you wanna see it? You probably don't. It might depress you.

1) There were the heightened senses. They were soo annoyingly distracting. I suppose they are for good purposes, like if your trying to eavesdrop. But I'm like trying to explain something and I randomly hear some teen yelling at her mom about her car and it gets the whole conversation screwed up 'cause I start laughing and forget everything.

2) There was the temper problem. They call me the mini feminine version of Paul. Ugh. Sam offered to give me anger management classes. Oh, God, if Mom forces me to do that, I might just go completely insane. Leah was like this too at first. Yeah, she still gets mad really fast, but she basically just yells and throws things instead of bursting into a wolf every few hours. I hope-for once-I follow Leah's example.

3) The imprint thing. It scares me. I've never really believed in all that true love crap (well I might have when I was little, but those were the princess days). But know I get it thrown in my face you could look at anyone and immediately fall in love with them. And I've witnessed it-second hand, of course. The way they look at each other.

4) When in wolf form, you can hear EVERYTHING others are thinking. Imagine that for a minute. Every personal thought, others can hear. And you can hear them. Those imprintee/imprinter people. That's just EW.

5) There's the school issue. I can't go to school until I have better control. So I have to pretend to be really sick. So wouldn't that mean I can't go out much, because smart people would question why I'm outside around people when I'm supposed to be sick? I've already had to lie to Ashley. Already. So she calls me Monday evening and asks:

"Why weren't you at school? Are you okay?" Leah's in the background mouthing 'Lie!' like I don't know this.

"Um, I'm really-insert fake cough-sick. Sorry."

"Oh, I'm s-oo-o sorry! I should prob. leave you alone now, right? Hope you feel better!"

Later Leah says, "Wow, your a crappy liar."

6) There's the hair. I won't go into detail on this one, as I already did. But everyone at school just LOVES my hair. I've had 3 guys ask me out because of it, which, on my defense, I refused.

7) And then there's Ashley herself. Apparently, when I amallowed to see her without lying and faking illnesses, I can't be around her. I WILL find some way around it. And all of this because Sam said, and I quote, "You can't hang around your friend Ashley anymore for her own self protection." OOO, wait. Now, I can add another...

8) You must follow orders from the Alpha. Or else, I suppose. I don't really know what'll happen if you did try to break it. It's not that I've ever tried. And you remember when I was being all sarcastic about Sam and his All Powerful Voice of Reason...that's soo ironic. But my life has practically been thrown into a big bowl of irony, confusion, anger, and things I don't want to do, so what isn't. Okay that sounded really weird when I thunk it. Wait, thunk isn't even a word, is it? Jeez, I'm tired.

9) A bunch of other random things that I don't feel like listing by themselves.

Okay, there's my mental list. Happy? Gosh, I'm gonna go prematurely grey...even IF I don't age. *Sigh* let me go add that now.

10) Guess what. (I'm pretending you said 'what?' here.) I don't age, even though I'm getting really tall. I guess this is one of those things that's bad and good, like the heightened senses. I don't want to stay 14 forever. But I don't want to get all old and wrinkly. And the only way to stop the...um...not-aging is to stop phasing, which is going to be really hard at the moment.

Okay there. Now it's done. A mental list of 10 things wrong with my life at the time and nothing noticeable I can do about any of them. *sigh* I hope I'm not, like, going depressed, or anything. That would be really depressing...obviously...God, I'm tired!

But no matter how tired I was, I still couldn't go to sleep. What's with me?

Lots of things, I answered myself. I do that a lot.

So finally I got up and found some of that black electrical tape and but that those little lights. And I actually succeeded in doing so without waking anyone up! Yay. Then I put my Marshmallow earphones to my Ipod in and hoped they wouldn't get lost in the middle of the night. That helped a little. Keyword=little.

I got mad and threw them somewhere. I wanted to do the same with the alarm clock, but smash it with a sledgehammer, burn it, and force Sam to eat the pieces, too. That would probably wake someone up, though.

I did finally fall asleep listening to the ocean. You can't change it. It would always be strong, unchanging, brave, fierce, determinded. Always haveing the best quality's. Having all the things I wanted to be. But couldn't right now.

Right now.

It gave me a little hope.

A/N:

Eternal L0ve: Sorry about the wait. I had writers block. I thought of this at night, when I couldn't sleep. Shocker. And I managed to only misspell 21 words this time! That's actually an accomplishment. You should see my history notes. But anyway, please review. And thanks for R&R-ing.

Izabethelay13: Thanks for reading this. We hope ya'll liked it. And, as always, review please.