Chapter 6- dead, but alive

*heyy you guyesss… I need some reviews, I feel like my story is stupid now L anyway… what cha think of the last chapter? Hmmm? And I know you kinda hate me for the ending… well in the sequel you will know what they were talking about*

ReAd&&ReViEw

When I woke up I tried going back asleep immediately, but I couldn't. I tried really hard. I tried counting sheep, no help, I tried different positions, no help, and nothing I did helped. I started walking around, fast walking, running. Nothing but getting burning muscles. I guess I though if I ran I would get tired, you know how strange this place can be.

"What are you doing?" Maddie asked curiously, yet laughing. "You'll think I'm crazy…" I said walking slowly towards Maddie. "No I won't, come on, tell me" she begged as I sat down on the hard floor of the gazebo. "when I'm asleep, its like, I can see what's going on in real life, like, I'm a ghost or something, I can do anything and no one can see or hear me" I said looking at her as if she new exactly what I was talking about. "I do that to. But it's a little different for me. It's hard to explain" she said, she seemed relieved that she was not going crazy or something.

We started walking. Walking. It seems like that's all we did. We walked everywhere. We decided to walk to the lake and see what's changed there. This place changes all the time, that's what makes it exciting.

When we arrived to the lake the new things were a huge water fall, and… slides. Hmmm… this could be fun. I looked over at Maddie and she was already looking at me. We both broke out into smiles, smiles from ear-to-ear. "Race ya?" I said fast. She nodded her head. "1, 2, 3... Go!" I said slowly at first and as soon as I said go; we both sped off towards the lake. The sand bank was now it sight and I saw a dock over to the side, not too far off. I ran towards it. I ran as fast as I could and jumped off. "CANNON BALL!" I screamed while I was in the air, holding my legs as tight as I could. It felt like flying until I felt warm water surround me. I opened my eyes and all I saw was bubbles, bubbles everywhere, very small bubbles. When the bubbles started to clear out I was greeted with a loud splash and thousands more of tiny bubbles. I swam up and gasped in air, then seconds later Maddie came,

As soon as Maddie wiped the water from her eyes I started busting out laughing, then her. Our laughs faded off and Maddie started had a devious grin on her face. "What?" I said trying to act scared. Seconds later, "WATER FIGHT!" she yelled and started furiously pushing her fists into the water making it splash up into my face getting in to my eyes and mouth. I started doing the same. We soon stopped and started swimming around.

I was just laying on my back letting the water drift me off the wherever. This is nice. I missed this. Being able to relax. The peace and calm was amazing. That was until Maddie flipped me. But I didn't mind. "Come on. Let's go." I could tell she was getting bored. But now I realize I was to. "Okay" I said looking at her and smiling. We stayed for a few extra minutes to dry off. "Have fun?" I asked, but I knew the answer. "Yes!" she said. We both started laughing. "Did YOU have fun?" she asked with a little sarcasm in her voice. "Yes, but I have to admit I liked the sledding a little more, plus that ice-cream, or snow, was soo good." we both started laughing.

When we found the gazebo-which was in a different spot then when we left- we decided to just sit and talk. "You know," I started "I haven't had this much fun in such a long time… I feel, free" I said with a smile, but yet a small sadness in my voice. "Was it really that hard for you, when you were alive?" she asked me with a serious expression. I knew right then that this conversation was going to be a long and serious one. "Actually, it was. I never had time to myself. I was always busy. I had some fun, but since Fitz came, and all the drama I never had fun the last-almost-year of my life." I said looking around and fiddling with my fingers.

"Well, I never really had that much fun when I was alive." she said looking at me.

"Your father" I whispered. "Yeah, since I was about 5 or 6, he abused me" she said sadly. "I'm really sorry" I said, I really didn't know what exactly to say. "Its okay I guess. It's all over for me and I can finally be happy" she said lighting up the mood. "What he did was not fair though, but like they say, life's not fair. I think everyone has the figure that out the hard way." I said while laying back and closing my eyes.

I opened my eyes to see her looking at the flowers that surrounded the gazebo, smiling.

"What?" I asked her, what is she doing? "You know Clare, you're the best friend I could ever have, I never had, good friends, but you are the best." she said making me smile. "Well, I'm glad I am." I said closing my eyes once again.

Soon enough the night sky had taken over. This day has gone so fast. How long were we at the lake? I had no clue, but what I do know is I'm going to have to go to sleep and see Eli. I was once again scared to, but I needed to see him and maybe I could see what he and my dad were talking about, I just hope it's not too late.

"I think I'm going to sleep," she started "I'm soo tired" Maddie said while stretching. "Yeah, me to" I said trying not to show any emoting in my voice. Maddie looked at me and just shrugged while lying down on the soft floor of the gazebo. I close my eyes waiting for sleep to over take me. To see that bright light that makes me 'pop' into the real world. It never came. I can't sleep; it just won't come and over take my mind. I try harder. Nothing. I'm guessing the harder you try to sleep the harder it actually is to do. I relax and soon start fading into sleep. I'm lost in my mind, and in the real world.

The flash of light, now gone and I'm outside. Outside of the Goldsworthy's residence. I go up to the door, scared, wondering. How will this go? What will he look like? Is he over me, yet? More and more questions running though my mind as I bring my hand up to knock-I need to get use to this- My hand goes straight though it. I sigh and take a dramatic step through the door. The house looked the same from downstairs. I went in the living room to see bullfrog drinking a Coke and watching TV. He looked bored and tired. He had some major bags under his eyes. I went into the kitchen to see CeCe making a small dinner. I don't blame her if she hasn't cooked a real meal since my death. She was making fish sticks and Mac & cheese. It still smelt good even though I hate fish. My thoughts were interrupted by thumping or a base thing, like when music is up really loud. 'Eli' I though to myself.

I wanted to wave off and tell CeCe and Bullfrog I was going to see him. But I couldn't. I walked slowly up the stairs to hear the thumping of the base getting louder, and louder. I started hearing the words to the music, well almost. I got to Eli's door, scared of what I was going to see. I step though the door, eyes closed, holding my breath as if I needed to.

I walk in, keeping my eyes shut. My ears ringing to the song ending and hurting when it starts again. I open my eyes. I remembered his room being a complete mess the first time, but I helped him and it started to, slowly, clear up where you could see the floor, well some of it. But now, I couldn't even see the floor. Piles and piles of junk. Pizza boxes and chine's take out boxes everywhere. The pizza and chine's boxes Eli and I shared...

I saw a picture of me, a picture of Julia. I saw stuff I couldn't even recognize. There was too much to even describe. Where was Eli? I looked over to the far side of his room where his bed usually was. There he was. Sitting there, knees pulled up to chest, head bowed. He was holding something. I walk over to him, slowly. I saw the picture. It was me and him. Sitting at our bench-As he called it- his right arm draped over my shoulders, my right hand holding his left one, fitting perfectly. I remember this picture so well.

Eli, Adam, and I were meeting up at the bench. Adam was bragging about his new camera that he though was the 'coolest thing ever.' "hey guys look" he said. Both Eli and I looked up. Adam snapped a picture of us. We had the most priceless expression on our faces so he took a second one. After arguing with Eli to smile and not do the smirk of his.

I smiled when I got a better glance of the picture. I heard Eli mumbling something. "Clare" he sniffled "Clare, I miss you so much" he sniffled again. I wanted to say "I'm here Eli, I'm here" I wanted to hold him again, I wanted to feel his hand in mine, his kiss, his smell one last time, but I cant, and like my mother would always say, it's too late for regrets. Even though I was feeling some of it.

I sat down next to him-the bed not moving- and put my hands in my lap. He suddenly did a quick shake, like you do when you get cold chills. And he did. His arm a small little bumps all on it. I got up. They were gone. He lifted his head up and started crying, well balling.

"Eli" I said aloud knowing he can't hear me. He looked up again. "I… I can't be going crazy, I can't… I'm going crazy" he mumbled loud enough for me to hear over the music.

'What?' I though to myself. 'He did not just hear me?' Eli stood up and slowly walked to his stereo and turned it down to a medium level. When he came back, instead of sitting on the bed, he went to the far corner of his room, where he was when he was talking to Adam. Pressed his back against the wall, and very slowly slid down it.

He suddenly started laughing, like a fake laugh, sarcastic. What is he doing? He soon started crying again. "Am I going crazy, Clare?" he spoke softly, but I still heard him. "What?" I said, aloud, still not knowing what was going on. He looked at me. I looked behind me to see if there was something there that he was talking to. There was nothing but a black wall with posters on them.

"Can… can you see me?" I asked a bit too slowly than I planed. He looked down at his hand, blinked a few time, and looked back at me. "I think, I'm probably going crazy" he said. He started laughing once again. "Look at me. Talking to nothing" he said shaking his head. I just stood there shocked. Not knowing what to say.

*hope this was okay? I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope you like reading it.

The convo they had is going to be in the next chapter.*

ReAd&&ReViEw