Chapter 5: My apologies

Edward started to snarl when my monster instinct kicked in. I stood up not taking my eyes from Bella. She was worried and became more frightened with every movement I made. Edward stood up in front of me along with Carlisle who edged more towards Bella. I tried to snap out of my monstrous conscious, but I couldn't while I had thoughts of killing Bella in my mind. I desired her blood, I needed it. Edward's growl became louder.

I tried to stop the killer thoughts from my head but they wouldn't shift. I wanted to beg for Carlisle's help but the only sound that came from my mouth was a blood thirst growl. Edward please stop me before I hurt her. Edward stopped growling in shock. I prised my stare from Bella and moved it onto his calm golden eyes. Edward don't look at me like that do it. Now! I locked my eyes back onto Bella and without hesitation tried to grab for her, but Edward was to quick before I knew what had happened I was pinned to the wall.

I struggled under Edward grip trying to get to Bella. She had moved quickly against the wall opposite us, Esme and Alice defending her. Carlisle moved from the table to my side, helping Edward pin me down.

"Christina, look at me." Carlisle spoke with a calm voice. "Ignore Bella and look at me, I know you can do it."

"I… Can't…" My eyes wouldn't leave her; her scent was so sweet and so tempting.

"Christina, try, you did it with Edward, now try it with me." I tried to move my head, but I knew I had passed the controlling stage.

"Carlisle, we should get Bella out of the room." I could tell Edward was scared of what I wanted; Bella's blood.

"No I want to try something,"

"No! You're not using Bella as bate!" I could sense anger in his voice, mixed with love, strong love. Then it hit me, Edward was in love with Bella. I suddenly felt guilty. How can I have thoughts to kill the love of my brother? Edward looked at me in shock, I froze knowing I had been caught. I realised the killer thoughts had slipped from my mind as the guilt rushed in. I no longer wanted to kill Bella or drink her desirable blood. I had more important thoughts in my head which Edward could hear.

"Christina, I need you to look at me." Without hesitation I looked Carlisle in the eyes.

"It's okay you can let me go." Carlisle let go of me at once, but Edward held on. He still wasn't sure. "Edward, you can let me…" I looked towards Bella, her scent grew stronger, I closed my eyes, trying to resist. I began to tense up, knowing what I could do. Edward held on tighter.

"Edward let her go, she's ready." Edward was uncertain but I knew he trusted to Carlisle. I became worried. Edward please don't let me go. He looked at Carlisle and shook his head.

"No, I can't."

"Edward let her go, its okay I know she's ready." I looked Edward desperately into the eyes. Please don't. "Edward."

"No, Edward don't, please I don't want to hurt her, I'm not ready."

"Don't worry I won't," Edward whispered.

"Christina, I know you're ready." I looked at Bella, she was trembling in fear and Esme placed an arm around her. Can I do this? Am I ready? What if I'm not?

Before I could think anymore Edward let go. I gasped in shock and looked him into the eyes, not wanting to look at Bella, scared of what would happen. I slid down the wall and closed my eyes, begging the monster to stay back. I placed my head into my lap and rocked, trying to become sane.

"Christina?" Edward placed his hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?" I opened my eyes and stopped rocking. I lifted my head, there was Edward knelling in front of me, his soft gentle eyes calming me. "You need to explain a lot." I smiled and shook my head.

"Not yet, I need to change first." Edward smiled.

"You already have." I looked at him confused. "Look beside you." I looked to my left and Bella was sitting beside me smiling. I gasped in shock and tried to get away, but Edward held me back. "Christina, it's okay, Bella's been sitting beside you for a while and you haven't reacted in the slightest." I looked back at Edward and smiled. I then relaxed against the wall. I inhaled through my nose which made me smell Bella's human scent, but I took no notice.

"Am I going to be like this with all humans?"

"Were not sure yet, we don't even know how you might react to Bella is she moves." Carlisle replied from the table. I turned to back to Bella.

"I'm sorry for the way I reacted; I've never been beside a human without… feeding." Bella froze but Edward gave her a comforting smile.

"It's okay; I'm used to it now." Edward snickered but I was confused.

"Oh, we just had a run in with a Nomad and Bella was attacked." Bella held up her hand which had a small fresh scar.

"She got bitten, but that mean she should be a vampire by now."

"I removed the venom." I looked at him in astonishment.

"But that means you tasted her blood." Edward nodded proudly, "That's amazing." Edward chuckled.

"How are you with Bella next to you?" I looked at Bella still astonished.

"Okay I think." I looked at Carlisle. "I want to carry on with you're help." Carlisle nodded and then looked at Bella.

"We'll start in the morning, Bella needs her rest." Edward smiled.

"I'll be happy to help." Bella smiled at Carlisle.