"let love not speak or breathe/let kisses be soundless and soundless my sighs/and we keep hidden/the sweetnesses of our love"- Mediæval Bæbes: The Woods And The Rivers Are Silent
Isteillia learned that being the wife of a Prince-and the leader of the flight squadrons, no less- meant she didn't get to enjoy Breeyar's company as often as she liked, but she spent more time with him while the LightBlade was underway during the first two months than she and Silarian had in their last year as fiancé's. Breeyar always made time to see her, to graze with her in the dome, or to simply stop by their quarters for some time to themselves.
She never wanted for company, however. Naylei was quickly becoming her best friend, and whatever time wasn't spent with their mates, they spent together. Isteillia found herself thinking that Nay could easily be her shorm- she never hesitated to tell her now she felt about anything, and found it easy to open up to her.
With Nay at her side, she wasn't as nervous walking through the ship to the dome without Breeyar- enough of the ship's denizens now knew who they were with, and knew better than to tempt the wrath of the T.O. and the squadron leader by harassing their wives.
So how are you enjoying being the wife of a Prince? Nay asked as they ran across the grass of the dome.
Isteillia didn't answer at first, her stalk eyes riveted to the breath-taking sight of the nebula above them. She finally looked over at Nay, who chuckled.
I am seeing things I never thought I would see, and I have been blessed in meeting the most endearing Andalites. I never expected this kind of life, she said, kicking up her back hooves happily. It wasn't just the nebula that lifted her spirits that evening, and her step was light, her eyes shining.
Nay was giving her a studying stare, as though trying to see through her, but mirrored her gesture, her delicate hooves glinting as she kicked them up. It was hard not to be of light spirits, not with the orange, blue, red and yellow nebula setting such a glorious scene while grazing. Even some of the veterans of space travel were looking at the heavens fondly as they grazed.
A pair of Arisths watched them pass by, their young eyes confused. Nay and Isteillia giggled to themselves as their instructor cracked his tail at them to get their attention, causing them to nearly fall over themselves.
I was the same way when I first married Nescord, Nay said softly, her eyes growing fond. I was so enthralled with it all, and being with the male of my dreams made it even more ethereal. It never really fades. I still greet my mate like I did when we were newly weds.
Is it hard being separated from him when you cannot go with him on deployments? Isteillia asked, frowning slightly. Nay sighed.
It is, and it never gets easier. It won't be easy this time, either.
Isteillia blinked a few times.
What do you mean, this time? She said, her tone a bit more panicked than she had wanted.
Naylei stopped and turned to face her, her expression slightly pained.
Captain Seifir thinks that the Yeerks that escaped their home world may be close to being found…forces from each of the dome ships are being sent to scour for them.
Isteillia rocked back, her thoughts racing. She was quiet for a while, for Nay reached out to her.
Isteillia? She asked cautiously.
Isteillia!
Both females jerked, turning around. Breeyar and Nescord stood on the grass, smiling at them. Isteillia bolted towards him, skidding to a halt ungracefully, very much like the day they first met. Breeyar must have remembered, for his smile grew very fond before looking at her in concern.
Isteillia, what is-
Is it true? She interjected, keeping her thought speak private so the warriors nearby wouldn't hear a Prince get interrupted by a female. Breeyar cocked his head.
Is what true, love?
The Yeerks, she hissed, and her eyes glittered with venom. Is it true you may be close to finding them?
Breeyar tensed slightly, but he recovered swiftly and put an arm around her waist tenderly, walking towards the center shaft of the ship, steering them back to their room.
Isteillia and I need to retire early. Have a good night, Nescord, Naylei.
Naylei and Nescord nodded, and began their own slow walk across the grass, talking privately. Breeyar walked Isteillia back to their room, silent, his face unreadable, and she found herself getting increasingly nervous with each step. Breeyar let her enter the room first, following suit and shutting the door behind him. His eyes practically cut her to the core. He didn't look angry, but something still made Isteillia wary.
I assume Nescord has told Naylei, who told you, he said simply.
Isteillia nodded, remaining silent. How long was he going to stand there so impassive, immovable? She cursed her luck and the timing. Her irritation must have shown, for Breeyar finally showed some emotion.
Are you alright, love? I am not angry that you know… I just do not know how to deal with this right now. I do not want to upset you, but I very much want to go…. Your father's death must be avenged, he said.
Isteillia's eyes became fierce again, glittering with the venom of vengeful anger.
I know, my love, and it is why I will not beg you to stay. I will not besmirch your honor as such, she said vehemently, watching the dangerous light enter her husband's eyes, giving her a thrill. He stepped forward and embraced her.
I will return to you. We will slaughter them. They will pay for the lives they destroyed under their lies of peace.
I guess this means I have to go home, does it not? She asked, but there was no sadness in her tones, only a quickly learned resignation that was only heard from the wife of a warrior. Breeyar laughed quietly, but it was snide and bitter.
Oh these filthy slugs will pay. For taking your father from us, and for separating us. I will destroy each and every one in your name, my Aerlic. I promise, I will return and it will be you and me again.
Isteillia felt her hearts flutter and her stomachs did somersaults as her opening finally came. She pulled back, smiling nervously as she kissed him.
It will not be just you and me ever again, my love, she said softly.
Breeyar cocked his head, confused, looking at her . She simply smiled, joy radiating from her as she waited for realization to dawn on her mate. He only stared a few moments longer before his eyes went wide, and surprise rolled off him in waves.
Isteillia! Are you sure? So soon! He gasped. She nodded, unable to hold back her happiness as she hugged him tight.
I suspected I was a week ago, but now I am positive, she said, her voice a purr of contentment. She looked up at him, smirking.
Only two months into our marriage and I am with child. None can ever question or insult your virility, Prince Breeyar.
Breeyar chuckled and nuzzled her ecstatically.
It is not just me, dear mate. It takes two to make a child.
Isteillia chuckled again.
But everyone knows the father is given most of the credit…until the child is born. Then the mother gets the credit, she said, sighing as Breeyar nuzzled her throat.
Breeyar pulled back, his eyes glinting.
Then let us make the most of our last few nights on the ship, shall we?
Isteillia met his gaze with a lustful smile.
Oh I think we shall, my love.
****
Isteillia groaned, getting to her hooves, staggering slightly. Edraela looked at her daughter with a bit of concern, but she was learning to discern between her moans of pain and moans of annoyance. Isteillia waved her hand dismissively, moving her other hand to her belly, which was becoming very heavy.
I feel fat and lazy, she whined, knowing whining wasn't becoming of her, but with the kicking her unborn child had begun doing as of late, she didn't care. Edraela snickered.
You were just as bad before you were born, she said, turning back to her hologram sculpture. Perhaps you were worse…but I forget, as your sister nearly kicked a hole in my side.
As if not wanting to be outdone, the babe kicked Isteillia hard, nearly knocking the wind from her lungs, making her double over at the waist.
Oof! She gasped. Stop giving him ideas!
Edraela laughed.
Positive he is a boy, are you?
Isteillia nodded, rubbing her belly in an attempt to get her child to calm down. Though she'd gone to the physician for the standard prenatal testing and check ups, and her own mother was a physician, she refused to be told the gender of her unborn child. She wanted it to be a surprise, but her gut- and the kicks- told her she was carrying Breeyar's son.
There is no doubt in my mind. He is definitely Breeyar's son.
Isteillia wanted him to be a boy more than anything. There was no greater gift she could give her mate when he came home than a healthy son. She knew a daughter would be just as wonderful, just as loved, but she wanted a son to name after her father.
She and Breeyar had discussed names through their limited communications, and they both agreed that should she have a son he would be named Aslirion. Edraela had been moved to sobs when Isteillia had told her.
Grow up big and strong…just stop kicking Mommy…Isteillia murmured, rubbing her belly. Her baby grew still as her fingers ran over her belly and her words were aimed towards him. She smiled, splaying her hands over her belly as best as she could, knowing it comforted her son.
I wait for you, Aslirion, my son. I wait with open arms.
*******
Isteillia skimmed the stream of warriors as they disembarked from the LightBlade, looking for her mate. Excitement thrilled through her, and for the millionth time she curled her tail to make sure her precious cargo was still tucked between her hind legs, and she smiled as she felt the wave of curiosity in reply.
She stiffened as Silarian disembarked, and his golden eyes locked with hers. She knew he was evaluating her- her pregnancy had filled her figure out from the slender androgynous build of a young female to the soft svelte figure of a mother. His gaze lingered on her haunches- haunches that had plumped due to motherhood- and she was about to just roll her eyes and move on until she saw the anger, jealousy and bitterness in his gaze. He was staring at what was between her hind legs.
He took a few steps forward and despite being surrounded by other Andalites, male and female alike. Isteillia suddenly feared for her precious charge. Her hearts sped up and her blood pressure spiked as her fur bristled, a protective maternal rage coursing through her. She cracked her tail and pawed the ground with her right front hoof, shooting waves of defiance and challenge at him. Silarian stopped and turned, thinking better of the situation, walking towards the labs. Isteillia sent a wave of reassurance to her companion, turning around to coo over him.
Isteillia?
She whirled around, careful not to step on her tiny charge, her eyes widening. Breeyar stood there before her, his eyes filled with happiness at being home and she found herself speechless at the depth of love she saw there. He smiled at her and held out his arms.
My love- He paused, his eyes taking in the sight of her, and Isteillia knew he was looking for her gravid belly. She smiled and using her tail, she nudged her tiny charge out from under her belly. Breeyar froze, his eyes going wide as an Andalite infant skittered nervously from under Isteillia's legs.
The baby had a medium cobalt pelt, oversized bright emerald eyes, hooves that looked three times too big for his legs- legs that seemed to make up two-thirds of his gangly body. The baby looked up at Breeyar, blinking, swiveling tiny stalk eyes to Isteillia, who made a soothing sound. Breeyar looked like he was having trouble breathing as he gazed at their child.
Welcome home, Prince Breeyar. Your son and I have been waiting for your return, she said quietly.
A son. A son, Breeyar crooned, beaming at the baby. Come here, Aslirion. Come to your father.
Breeyar's voice was a balm to the baby in the noise and confusion, and with a strange happy sound, he bounded to the adult Andalite, nearly tripping over his own hooves. Breeyar laughed gently, kneeling and extending his tail as Aslirion grabbed a finger with both hands. He blinked and touched his tiny tail to his father's- the blade of which was as big as his torso.
Oh, Aerlic, my love…he is perfect! He has your father's fur. He breathed, reaching with his other hand and stroking his son's back, earning a croon of contentment. Isteillia smiled happily, her hearts melting.
He has your eyes, she said. He laughed.
He will, when he grows into them.
Shall we go home? She asked. Your daughter is waiting outside.
Breeyar looked up at her, blinking rapidly.
D-daughter? Was there TWO? He sputtered. She giggled.
The Aerlic. She is ready to take us home.
Breeyar laughed, getting up and swatting her rump with his tail playfully.
Did she behave? He asked teasingly.
Yes, as always.
Aslirion grabbed hold of his father's tail as they made to go. Breeyar laughed tenderly, pulling his tail from his grasp before scooping him up in his arms. Isteillia noted with fierce pleasure it didn't seem to strain him at all, that her mate was far more toned and lean.
A powerfully built Andalite passed by, his fur a steel blue, glinting silver in the harsh lights of the docking bay. Isteillia bowed her head at him respectfully when he made eye contact with her, and blinked when he looked at her in disbelief, as though shocked she would be respectful to him. Breeyar made an odd noise and pulled her away, leading her to the Aerlic, whose engines were thrumming happily.
Who was that, Breeyar? She asked. Breeyar frowned.
War Prince Alloran-Semitur-Corass, he replied.
Did he wrong you during the task? She asked, not liking the shadow that had crossed her mate's face. Aslirion squirmed, not liking his parents being upset, and Breeyar cuddled him close, boarding the Aerlic.
I would rather talk about it later; I do not want to upset the baby, he said softly.
The two of them fussed over Aslirion on the way home, who delighted in the attention. Isteillia made sure to let Breeyar fuss over her, too- Aslirion was going to have a bit of a shock finding out he was no longer the only male of the scoop, so letting him see Breeyar get some of her attention was good for him, and she certainly wasn't going to complain over the blissful kisses she was getting.
Aslirion went to bed easily after playing with his father, worn out from the excitement of the day, and Isteillia followed Breeyar into the moonlight, cantering across the fields, but staying close to the scoop. Breeyar appraised her appreciatively as they ran.
Motherhood suits you, my love.
War suits you, my Prince, she replied coyly. You look stunning.
They ran on in silence, enjoying the company of each other, the sound of their hooves on the grass, the night air in their fur. Isteillia knew he would tell her what had upset him eventually, giving him time to collect his thoughts. He slowed his pace, and Isteillia followed suit, reaching out with a wave of comfort. Breeyar stared up at the stars.
War Prince Alloran...he committed an unspeakable act before my squadron reached the Hork-Bajir home planet, he finally said.
What do you mean, love? Isteillia asked carefully. The pain radiating from him was intense.
The forces on the front were outnumbered and overwhelmed...Alloran...ordered the creation of a Quantum virus to destroy the Hork-Bajir.
Isteillia looked as though she'd been slapped.
Genocide? No, there must have been a mistake! They are sentient beings! She pleaded, not wanting to hear that one of their own could commit so horrible an act. Breeyar hung his head, slumping forward, and she cuddled close to him, supporting him as many ways as she could.
He did, Breeyar whispered bitterly, and she could feel his hearts breaking. Most warriors and Princes were tightly knit through duty and honor, and having one of their own betray the morals of their people was as devastating as having one die.
He was ruled sane by the physician at his trial. Though he did not order the release of the virus, he condoned its creation.
He whirled to face his mate, and there was a mad panic in his eyes.
To commit such an incorrigible act in a sane state of mind! What is to say that I will not do the same one day? That any of us will do the same? He cried.
Isteillia tried not to shake as her proud strong mate melted down before her, panicking and afraid. She had to be the strong one now, for her mate. She grabbed him by the chin and made him look into her eyes, flooding him with waves of assurance and calm.
You listen to me, Breeyar-Askillan-Eskarroth, she said sternly, making sure he was looking at her. He looked slightly alarmed at her tone.
I do not pretend to know what goes through a warrior's mind during battle, but I do know what would go through mine. Defending and protecting the innocent. Perhaps Alloran was at the brink of madness, wanting to protect the wife and children he has here. While it was a horrible thing he did, I can understand his panic.
She softened her tone and expression, stroking his face.
The act of one does not ensure the future behavior of all, my love. Some of us are so blinded by love and fear of losing said love we will do whatever we can to protect it. Love is a strong emotion. It moves us, gives us life, strength and comfort. It can also give us pain, drive us mad, and make us do the unthinkable.
Breeyar melted against her hands and soft words.
I worry what this war will do to us. What if we do this again? What if we Andalites commit such atrocities once more? He asked quietly.
That is not for any of to know right now, Isteillia said, taking her mate's hand and leading him back to the scoop where their son lay sleeping. She looked down at their baby and smiled, kneeling next to him, curling her tail around him. Breeyar knelt next to her and wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling the back of her neck, but his expression was still troubled. She sighed and reached back to kiss him.
I do not know what this war will do or bring, my love. All I know is that the only constant in this life is my love for you. I will be here, loving and waiting for you until the last breath leaves me.
Breeyar shuddered against the power in her words.
It is all we can ever ask for, is it not? He murmured. She made a soft sound, leaning against him.
That, and hope.