Standard disclaimer here. Words to Breathless are owned by another great New Orleans product: Better Than Ezra!
I start to feel Smitty's fingers slowly run up and down my back, offering some much needed comfort. I look at him when he finds the surgical scar on my shoulder blade. "What happened here?" he asks.
"I got bit by a spider while I was still living in the mountains. They had to remove the dead muscle around the site. At one point, I thought I going to die. Took me about two months to heal and it still bothers me sometimes," I say. I'm actually proud of the fact that I survived that ordeal and glad it prompted me to move to the city in the first place.
"Wowsies, what a story!" says Smitty.
"It was when I was at my worst that I said I was going to do something more with my life if I pulled through. Well, I did and about a year later, here I am. I'm getting my repair shop off the ground thanks to Nina's article, I have the best friends a girl could ask for, and I finally have a man in my life that I can trust. Thank you so much for that last one," I say, giving him a long kiss.
"My pleasure," he says when we pull apart. He starts to brush my hair out of my eyes when I turn away. A tear rolls down my cheek, embarrassed that certain thoughts enter my mind, of being stalked, thought of as a sister instead of a lover, kicked out, left in the cold, and other things that admitting my trust has caused. "What's wrong?"
"My luck with the word 'trust'. Bad things always seem to happen when I say it. My first real boyfriend was a control freak that wouldn't let me go after I broke it off with him. My next boyfriend said I was more of a sister. I also had this house mate that one day, after he gained control of our lease, decided I wasn't welcome anymore and called the cops. I spent six months in a lean-to before I was able to pick myself up again. The spider was the best thing that happened to me, prompting me to come here. I had to get out of the mountains, for my own sake," I explain. I wipe my eyes and give a little smile when I hear him start to sing.
"Here you are now
Fresh from your wars
Back from the edge of time
And all that you were,
Stripped to the bone
I thought you'd want to know
That when you feel the world is crashing
All around your feet
Come running headlong into my arms
Breathless
I'll never judge you
I can only love you
Come now running headlong
Into my arms
Breathless
Lay down your guns
Too weak to run
Nothing can harm you here
Your precious heart
Broken and scarred
Somehow you made it through
I only ask that you won't go again
When you feel the world is crashing
All around your feet
Come running headlong into my arms
Breathless
I'll never judge you
I can only love you
Come now running headlong
Into my arms
Breathless
So glad to see you smiling
So good to hear your laugh
I think that you've found you even
Missed yourself
I'm only asking this because I think that
Truth be told
Oh, you'll never go again
Again
When you feel the world is crashing
All around your feet
Come running headlong into my arms
Breathless
I'll never judge you
I can only love you
Come now running headlong
Into my arms
Breathless
Breathless"
"Smitty, I don't know what to say. That the sweetest thing anybody's ever done for me," I say, more tears streaming down my face, this time full of love instead of hurt.
"It's how I feel. You've been through so much in your life and I could never hurt you like that. You can really trust me and if you need time, I'll wait," he says, holding me close and rocking me back and forth.
"Where were you ten years ago?" I joke between sobs.
"The city fire department, then Rich, Dave, and Scott told me this crazy idea about solving people's problems for a living," he jokes back.
"I'm glad they did, 'cause I can't think of anybody's help I'd rather have right now," I say, trying to stop showing my weakness. I always keep my guard up, and it scares me that I can tell him these things without thinking he might use it against me later. Maybe this one I can truly give my heart.
We spend a few more minutes huddling together before I hear someone coming. Tiny steps make for tiny feet, so I assume Warehouse Mouse is coming back. Part of me still wonders if I upset the little guy and what I could possibly do to fix it.
"Katie?" he asks, pulling on my T-shirt tail.
"Mmm uh?" I say looking down at him from Smitty's arm. I notice that his sleeve is turning a darker shade of blue from catching my cries.
"Sorry," is all he says as he hugs my good leg. I know now that all is well in the warehouse.