Chapter 4 - As the crow flies (or: traitors who do not die)
"Honestly," she thought, "it's like the Uchiha men don't know how to fucking die." She paused "Well that's a lie, most of them obviously did." She'd always been a bit harsh in her humour when stressed but thinking about the massacre when having a stare down with the one who did it was bound to get her in trouble.
Itachi simply raised an eyebrow and she wondered if her could read minds now, nosy fucker. Her language was getting worse as the war progressed, they'd all know it was the day of the apocalypse when she cursed more than a sailor out loud, right now it was still all in her head.
She knew Itachi was not actually a traitor, which is why she had not attacked like a madman screaming 'UNYOUTHFUL TRAITOR SCUM' like Gai would, nor had she run away screaming like most other sane people would.
But seriously the dude had a sword through his gut, what the hell was he still doing standing and having a stare off with random ninja for? News flash Uchiha genes do not make you immortal, it doesn't matter that Madara is alive and surprisingly young despite it, Uchihas are. not. immortal.
With my irritation on the subject, you can probably guess the source is Sasgay- I mean Sasuke. Damn okay let a girl be a bit bitter will you? Anyway, Sa-chan ("what did you just call me." "awww does Sa-chan like his new nickname? I'll make sure it goes in the bingo book." "I'll kill you. CHIDORI!")seemed to consider himself rather immortal, ha! I want to see if he can survive a sword to a gut now. Oh crap right. Itachi. Yeah. Well...
He seems amused now, the eyebrow is still up. He has a sword in his gut! Why is he calm?! There isn't even a hair out of place?! WHY?! Is that possible?!
Right enough shouting. I'm being awfully cheery lately, maybe it's because I saw Naruto Rasengan sasuke last time we saw him? Yeah probably. Anyway I'm half down on chakra and tired so I say the first thing that comes to mind. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Crap, there goes the no swearing out loud thing.
He simply blinks at me, thank Kami I'm well versed in Uchiha speak. I'm going to take it as a "what did you just say?" So I reply "You heard me 'what the fuck do you think your doing?'" He's all wide eyed now, dawwww. Then I open my stupid mouth again, "Sit down you utter Moron!" Damn way to get on his good side Sakura, he's totally going to be your BFF now. Ok so my male teammates may not be the only ones socially retarded in the team.
He's back to normal now with a single eyebrow raised that directly translates to 'why should I?' So what do I say? "You have a sword in your gut, just in case you haven't noticed yet, sit dow so I can heal it." Nailed it. I didn't shout or swear, I'm improving. The look he's giving me now suggests that he thinks I'm an idiot the 'hn' that follows asks 'why should I trust you?'
So what do I do? I ruin my slow improvement, that's what. "Well I haven't fucking tried to attack you yet have I moron? I'm like 90% sure that is an indicator of the non-hostility type." Damn, self preservation why do you desert me now. It migh be because I'm hungry. Or angry. Hangry. Yeah. "Very well." IT SPEAKS!?
"Shit your worse than I thought." There's clearly a questioning look on his face, his eye twitched. "You said more than I've ever heard an uchiha say at once." The look in return is deadpann "I said two words." I just gasp loudly and mock whisper "4 words..." and make a show of searching the sky mumbling "no...no pigs yet." Say what you want about my attitude or looks, my humour is unmatched. He looks entirely unimpressed though, I forgot Uchiha don't have funny bones. He still sits though. Point for Sakura.
I just shrug and slowly start to pull the sword out channeling chakra and healing him as I do so to minimise blood loss. When I'm done I set the sword down and shove a blood replenishing pull in his face, I then stare at him until he takes it gently. Then what does he go do? He pulls a ring out of his pocket and hands it to me. What is this ring? You may ask. Why non other than his fucking akatsuki ring of course! What?!
I stare, raising a single eyebrow. I am well versed in uchiha language of course I know how to speak it as well. It annoys Sa-Chan ("STOP CALLING ME THAT!" "Chill Sa-Chan." "WHY WONT YOH DIE?!" "Damn who's a hypocrite now Sa-chan?") to no end. He blinks and clicks his tongue before raising an eyebrow. 'It came off when I sort of died for a few minutes and I don't won't to go back, you seem to have a collection what's one more?' Damn I'm good.
I just shrug and take it from him and attach it to my chain. There's three now. Joy. I wave as he nods and vanishes. Damn uchihas and their fucking genes. They just won't die intill they want to.