Week Five: Newborn Care

"Crib, car seat, changing table…" Maddie read off her list.

"Changing table? Does it transform for poker games? Let's get a big one—seats four to six," David exclaimed enthusiastically.

They were in a huge, warehouse-style baby store in West LA. Always efficient, Maddie had pointed out that they could get everything they needed there.

"David, you use a changing table for changing the baby's diapers," she said, pointing to one.

"Oh, yeah, I set one of those up for Terri—just didn't know what it was for. Anyway, you pick. I won't be using it much."

Maddie found his offhand attitude insulting. "What? Are you trying to say you won't be changing any diapers? You think, just because I'm a woman, I should do all the menial tasks? Well, this is the 1980s, David, not the 1950s, and I have a business to run."

David watched her with one of his infuriating smirks. "Don't burn your bra, Gloria. I'll be doing my share of Pampers duty…I just don't need some fancy table to do it on."

Now it was Maddie's turn to look amused. "Oh, really? And just how many diapers have you ever changed, Phil Donahue?"

"Plenty! For your information, I was the most popular babysitter in a four-block radius," he insisted. Looking nostalgic, he added, "Yeah…all the South Philly mamas loved me—especially the single ones." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"You are incorrigible! Your gift for turning the charming into the obscene is unmatched," she said tartly, but she couldn't suppress a small smile.

"Well, I know at least one single mama who loves me," he grinned, stealing a quick kiss.

She hit him over the head with her list. "Focus, Addison! My feet are starting to hurt."

Half an hour later, they still hadn't chosen anything. Maddie was becoming increasingly irritated with David's waning attention span.

"So which one do you like best? The colonial or the shaker-style?" she asked him.

"Ooh—how about this?" David grabbed a manual breast pump and held it up to one eye. "We gotta get one of these!"

"David!"

He rolled his eyes at her. "I'm sorry, Maddie, but I just don't care whether we get honey or walnut or white finish—you get what you like. I'll be in charge of the toys…this looks fun." He picked up a plastic fire engine and pressed the siren. A screeching "WOOOOOooooooo" filled the aisle, and Maddie clapped her hands over her ears. "Maybe we'll give this one a pass," he whispered, and carefully placed it back on the shelf.

"Oh, so I get to choose all the useful stuff, and you get to have all the fun? Is this how it's going to be?" she said, vexed. She had a sudden vision of herself, shaking her finger in the face of a grinning, green-eyed miscreant with freckles on his nose, while his balding partner in crime tried to keep a straight face.

"Someone's blood sugar is dropping—isn't it time for lunch?"

"Don't patronize me, David," she said, though she was hungry and tired. "I'm serious. I won't be the bad guy all the time. I do not want to raise this child like we manage the employees."'

David hooked an arm around her and propelled her down the aisle. "Maddie, Maddie, Maddie…I can keep the kids in line when I need to! In fact, I'll prove it to you tonight—we can play headmaster and naughty schoolgirl…"

* * *

Driving to Lamaze class that night, David thought back to their conversation in the baby store. Was Maddie really afraid that he was too immature to handle the serious responsibilities of raising a child? The discipline, the sleepless nights, the worry?

He supposed, given his track record at the agency, that it wasn't surprising that she was concerned. But in his mind, parenthood was completely different from running (or helping to run) a business. He had always expected to have children, had thought, in fact, that he would be a father a few times over by now. Well, it was finally happening, not exactly in the way he would've predicted, but still…however much he joked, he was ready. He just needed to get Maddie to see that.

When everyone had settled into their chairs, Nurse Bridges announced, "Before we get started tonight, I have some information about warning signs of labor, and other reasons to call your doctor." She distributed a few handouts. "Now, tonight we'll be focusing on Newborn Care. Your baby is finally here…what do you do with him?" They all laughed. "Most people think taking care of an infant is instinctive, that we should just 'know' how to do it. But the details, like dressing, bathing, even breastfeeding—can seem overwhelming when you're dealing with sleep deprivation and postpartum hormones."

She pointed to a row of dolls, laid out on a nearby table. "Each couple will have their own 'baby' to work with. Moms, make sure you let the dads practice, too—you're going to want their help at two o'clock in the morning."

Everyone adjourned to the table to pick up a 'baby'; Maddie and David's was dark-eyed, with a thatch of brown hair and a surprised expression. "Aw, look at that—he can't believe his luck," David quipped.

For the next half hour, they dressed and undressed, swaddled, bathed, and burped the doll. Most of the men stumbled through their turn, with the exception of Mel, who was clearly an old pro. David did pretty well; at least his baby's shirt wasn't on backward, and he hadn't dunked its head in the imaginary bath. He thought Maddie seemed impressed.

Maddie herself struggled a little—with embarrassment—when Nurse Bridges showed them the positioning options and proper latching technique for breastfeeding. He leaned over and murmured, "Not to worry. I'm planning on being very hands-on while you're nursing the little papoose."

"For your information," Maddie whispered back, "I haven't decided if I'm going to breastfeed. It's going to be hard enough juggling the agency and the baby, without having to be on call every few hours."

"What?" David said loudly. Everyone looked over at them. "Just trying to decide on our favorite position," he improvised. The class dissolved into laughter, Mel and Rick high-fiving each other.

Maddie put her hand over her eyes. "I swear you exist exclusively for the purpose of humiliating me," she hissed.

Nurse Bridges put on a how-to video, and attention returned to the front of the room. Under cover of the saccharine background music, David said, "Seriously, Maddie, you do know that breastfeeding is best, right? They've done studies—kids are smarter, better adjusted, healthier…"

Maddie regarded him in surprise. "What are you, the local La Leche League representative?"

"No, I just…did a lot of reading while you were gone." He shrugged, as if it was no big deal, and turned to watch the video. A moment later, her hand covered his and she rested her head on his shoulder. Got her, he thought, and couldn't help smiling.