DISCLAIMER: All Veronica characters and commandeered dialogue are the creation of Rob Thomas (we must praise him). Situations in this particular story are of my own brainskull. All hail Rob Thomas in all of his epic grandeur and brilliance, may all of us be as genius as him. However, he can keep the second half of season three Veronica, that bitch was a total asshat and I hate her.

Amen.

AN: This chapter will touch upon the topic of abortions. Everyone has an opinion on the matter, and personally, I am Pro-Choice. I believe all of the characters in this chapter have similar views on the subject matter. Any negative opinions on getting one, is how Logan went about voicing it to Veronica, and not a personal opinion on it. All of my boys support a woman's right to choose.

ALSO- This chapter shows a pretty dark Logan post Veronica disappearing. I know people want me to get on with the mystery of Gory and Laney and the mystery lady. I promise we will get there. I heard this song come on shuffle though, and had such a vivid picture of Logan just wasting away on a beach somewhere, lost in his brooding. I tried to ignore it, but LogieBear just kept screaming in my head to tell his story. So here you go.

CHAPTER 6: Into the Airwaves

He didn't so much wake up, as his internal organs protested his continued state of aliveness and they revolted simultaneously in mutiny. He took inventory as he crawled from the plush carpeted floor whence he found himself to the tile floor ahead of him, rightly assuming it was a bathroom.

Eyes? Fuzzy. Were they Red? Undoubtedly. Tongue? The consistency of cement and most certainly giving off a smell that was reminiscent of a dead elephant's asshole. Limbs? All seem functional, if a little unsteady.

All in all, Logan Echolls would consider this a win.

As his body heaved needlessly, considering there was nothing inside of him other than the organs that hated him, he wondered, yet again, what had become of his 'charmed' life. It had been well over a year since he had last seen Veronica, and it had felt like an eternity within the confines of purgatory. She marched herself and rightly so, he thinks, out of his life, and it was at that exact moment he realized his life was not worth living at all. Not without her.

The first 18 hours after The Baby Bomb dropped, he had spent with Dick on a wicked bender to end all previous benders. His high school benders would look at that one in shock, awe and possibly, disgust. He partied until he was thrown out of several different private establishments and vacating his stomach in several different public settings and in one very, to his horror, memorable moment, on some public passerby. He passed out for almost 24 hours after that, and when he woke, hungover and disoriented; he remembered all he had done. All he had said. His old friend Shame, exploded within him.

He was going to fix it.

From an empty room on the first floor
As the cars pass by the liquor store
I deconstruct my thoughts at this piano
And it's all that I can do to stay with
All the things I didn't say to you
Before you moved across the country

Her car wasn't at her apartment. It wasn't at Mars Investigations either. He was too chickenshit to actually walk into either location, on the very real chance Keith Mars was going to murder him. Hello, sir. Is Veronica here? You know, your daughter whom you love more than your own life. The one I publically humiliated when I told her to get an abortion. Yes! I did debauch said daughter, thus getting her in her pregnant state. I'll stand quite still so you may shoot me now.

Wallace. He would go to see Wallace. He was a pretty understanding guy. Of all of the moons and people that orbited Veronica Mars, Wallace Fennell would be the one who saw all sides and would attempt to be fair. The two of them had even come to a sort of understanding in their Sociology class, and gave absent head nods when they saw each other on campus after he and Veronica broke up.

Logan was able to get the address for Wallace's family home, and Mrs. Fennell had told him that Wallace was still packing up his dorm. She was, at her core, a polite woman, but Logan could tell she at least knew some of what had happened. Her voice aimed for pleasant, but was not quite there, and her brow was furrowed.

Logan would have settled for the bitter cold of Mrs. Alicia Fennel, instead of the black eye he was now sporting. Wallace was apparently, a no go.

Piz answered the door, and had just enough time to awkwardly side step away from the doorway before Wallace tackled the taller man and cold cocked him in the face. After doing so, he allowed Piz to pull him off of the tall gangly man on the ground, however with a little reluctance from both of the boys not named Logan Echolls.

"Yeah, I know. I fucked up. Another chapter in my book of fuck ups. Veronica seems to have gone AWOL. If you could possibly tell me where she is so I can talk to her, get all of this straightened out, it would be appreciated." Logan says, gently probing his eye area, making sure nothing was cracked. Wallace laughs with no humor.

"'Take care of'? You wanna make sure V got that abortion, right?" the shorter boy all but spits out. Logan sighs, and has the decency to blush.

"Only if she wants it, I guess, but I was a little, you know, not sober when that all went down, so I kinda remember enough to know I need to apologize."

"Apologize? You think an apology will fix this shit, Echolls? Yeah, Veronica, I'm sorry I called you a shank in public and told you that you weren't good enough to have my bastard. That I told you to get an abortion because you'll be a shit mom, just like your mother before you. So. Sorry. THAT is going to make it better?!" Logan cringes a little, remembering some of that occurring, and basically thinking of apologizing along those guidelines. It was not going to be easy.

But then again, it never was where Veronica Mars was concerned.

"So I may need to apologize every day until I collect retirement. It's best to start now, is it not?" Piz who had mostly sat in the proverbial and literal corner as if ready to pull Wallace off of Logan once more, because that's what boys from Beaverton did, opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off by Wallace.

"She's gone. Left like a thief in the night after getting ridiculed by the entirety of Neptune. People pointed and laughed. Some of the girls who got with you spit on her. SPIT on her."

"Parker slapped her." Logan's jaw drops at that. Parker actually got violent? Parker actually got the upper hand on Veronica? It was a sign of the coming apocalypse as well as a good indicator of Veronica's state of mind. Both Piz and Wallace continue to berate Logan, but Logan had successfully tuned them out after Wallace informed him that Veronica was gone.

She left.

Neptune.

Wallace.

Mac.

Her Dad.

Him.

"Where did she go?" Logan interrupted the guys, who had begun to bicker with the other for lack of anything else to do in their Veronicaless world. Their squabbling petered off. Piz rumpled his already rumpled hair. Wallace's mouth scrunched up and Logan could hear his jaw pop with how hard he was holding it. Finally, his lips quirked the smallest bit, as if he had decided on how exactly he was going to word his next statement, and Logan knew he was waiting to inflict the most hurt possible. Wallace wasn't vindictive by nature either, so for Logan to have finally reached Wallace's threshold of decency meant volumes.

He knew he was not going to like the answer.

"I don't know. She didn't tell me, and even if she had, I would rather sew my mouth shut than tell you. She packed up and left, all alone while you got your rocks off and partied. Nice picture, by the way. Now, get the hell out." He then pushed Logan with a surprising amount of force out of the dorm room and the door literally hit Logan on the ass on his way out.

His head hung low, and wallowing in his remorse, he almost missed the paper clippings posted in the Student Union. It was entirely expected, and yet still horrifying.

'Echolls heir parties—has heir apparent?

Logan Echolls, orphaned son of dearly departed actors Aaron and Lynn Echolls parties heavily with friend, and fellow resident of Neptune, Richard 'Dick' Casablancas JR., (pictured) last evening. It has been told to this publication from several reliable sources that Mr. Echolls former girlfriend, one Veronica Mars is expecting.

Ms. Mars claims the child was fathered by Mr. Echolls.

If you recall, Veronica Mars is the daughter of former Neptune Sheriff Keith Mars. Both have somewhat dubious pasts.

Is it possible that Ms. Mars is lying about the paternity of her child? Or the pregnancy itself?

We will continue to report more on this dramatic and sensational story as it unfolds!

Included with the small turd of an article was a picture of Logan, probably from the night in question, bare chested and giving 'The Shocker' to the camera with his left hand. Dick was doing similar. Clutched in his right hand was an open bottle of tequila. Said arm was wrapped around a very amply curved brunette. Even in the photo it was obvious her hand was somewhere south of the picture.

For not nearly close to the first time in his nineteen years, Logan wished to die.

And from the burning building where I lay
As I watch the stars become the day
The L.A. girls were lacing up their sneakers
They run the boardwalks and the beach
This fishbowl life is all they need
It's everything I needed too

Until I heard the news
I'll send this message through the speakers
They told me that you moved
I'll cross this country on a frequency

But I am slipping through, I am slipping through
I am slipping into the airwaves
And this is nothing new, you are slipping through
My fingers and into the airwaves
The static's where you'll find me

Logan felt less than human. He had spent the summer trying to figure out where Veronica was. He didn't even come close to finding her; since it was quite clear she did not want to be found. He would need someone like Veronica to find Veronica.

Several PIs had tried, and all had failed.

Wallace had gone to Africa with Invisible Children and was pretty incommunicado. Piz had gone back to Beaverton and frankly, didn't have enough brain cells to rub together where Veronica was concerned. Mac had been accepted to a summer program at New York University, with the option to transfer in the fall and was decidedly and unrepentantly ignoring Logan when he had tried to get a hold of her.

Finally, Logan and broken down and come crawling to Keith Mars. He had just stood there, not speaking in the doorway of his tiny apartment, Backup standing in a sinister manner at his side. His eyes spoke volumes. His utter disappointment in the young man before him, as if every bad thought he had ever had regarding Logan had come to fruition.

There was pain there too. His missed his daughter.

Logan could tell. He knew where Veronica was, and he would never tell Logan. He would never betray Veronica that way. Keith Mars was the last good father in Neptune and there was no way he was going to throw that all away for a sack of shit like Logan Echolls, Daughter Impregnator. Sadly, Keith just shook his head at Logan and the door closed, quietly with but a snick of noise.

It felt like a slam though.

Logan was alone.

From the corner by the studio
The gold-soaked afternoon comes slow
I deconstruct my thoughts and I am walking by
On third street, the freak show thrives
Santa Monica's alive, but
Something's not so right inside

He had failed out before the first semester was even half way over. He just didn't care. About anything. About anyone.

Parker clung to him like sand after a surf, at the start of the new term but he was finally able to extricate her barbs when he told her how he was never going to fuck her, and she was never going to be anything more than a sad Veronica replacement. He went on to say that all she ever was to him was a distraction from Veronica. That he could tell she was shit in bed, and that she couldn't come anywhere near how good Veronica fucked him. That she wasn't shit at giving head either, and he had to think about Veronica to come.

He was brutal and he didn't give a good goddamn.

Living with the news
I'll send this message through the speakers
They told me that you moved
I'll cross this country on a frequency

But I am slipping through, I am slipping through
I am slipping into the airwaves
The static's where you'll find me
And this is nothing new, you are slipping through
My fingers and into the airwaves
Into the airwaves

Around December, he found himself overlooking a cliff somewhere in Baja California, wondering if the drop into the inky water would kill him. With his luck, he would survive. If Veronica had kept the baby (and since he was being honest with himself, his little stunt in the quad probably had her running for the Neptune Free Clinic ((not that he blamed her one single iota)) she would be due around now. The thought made him beyond melancholy. He essentially had killed the only thing that could possibly ever love him.

A couple walking along the beach nearby wrapped in each other's arms and enjoying a romantic evening stroll hear a man screaming and sobbing. By the time authorities find Logan, he is unconscious, liquor bottles strewn around him, knuckles ripped open and bleeding heavily, still whimpering Veronica's name.

So hold on, it's gonna be a hard day
So hang on
Don't panic, don't panic
There simply is no need

It's gonna be a hard day
It's gonna be a hard day
Don't panic, don't panic
We are hanging here
We are hanging here

I am slipping through, I am slipping through
I am slipping into the airwaves
The static's where you'll find me
And this is nothing new, you are slipping through
My fingers and into the airwaves
Into the airwaves

It's gonna be a hard day
It's gonna be a hard day
So hang on
Don't panic, don't panic
There simply is no need

It's gonna be a hard day
It's gonna be a hard day
It's gonna be a hard day
Don't panic, don't panic
We are hanging here

Court appointed rehab was better than Logan imagined. And by that, he meant he was close to having Dick bake a gun into a cake so he could take himself out of this fuckery.

As glamorous as sharing a 9x11 with Jaime, the heroin addict who had already offered a blowjob for a fix, Logan was just a touch stir crazy.

I mean really? Is my drinking really a problem? Just because when I drink I usually find my fist in the nearest wall, and how when I don't drink my breakfast 1/8 my hands shake? How I wake up sometime and not only do I not remember the person or persons in my bed but what day or week it is? When I'm throwing up in the ocean, club, street, alley read: toilet I sob Veronica's name?

I didn't think so.

Totally in control.

Dr. Jessop insists that Logan drinks because he has been abandoned by literally anyone he has ever loved. Logan was pretty sure even Dick could have pondered that one, and made a point of checking to see if Belinda Jessop was an actual doctor, and not just someone the clinic found on the street and dressed up in a lab coat.

It was a kick in the pants when he found out she went to Stanford. Then there was that second kick in the pants was at the mention of Stanford, since that was Shewhowillnotbenamed first choice school.

Look at all of that growth. I can say her name and not even cringe. Much. At all. Anymore.

Stupid Blackout Wednesday for getting him into this mess.

He also was kinda not allowed in group therapy anymore. He got all of the other patients all riled up. He always had a devoted following, and his words seemed to incense the unwashed masses. Dr. J had relegated him to his room with a spiral notebook, a pen and the pithy little psychobabble of "You are your own worst enemy, Logan. Perhaps the only way you will get passed all of your inner demons in to get them all down on paper."

Logan sneered and turned his cheek at the idea. So much so that Logan's attorney had to inform him that if he didn't at least make an attempt at rehabilitation the Judge would revoke and he would be finally spending some time with Fisty McRapesalot.

Well shiiiit.

So here Logan sat, at the chipped but clean Formica table. His trimmed nailed rapped out a beat the he didn't recognize but it was soothing all of the same. He had all of that nervous energy. It constantly needed an outlet.

With a sigh and the smallest bit of trepidation, Logan opened up the cover of the notebook.

December 18th, 2008

Dear Logan,

Papa was a rollin' stone.

Momma, I'm depending on you to tell me the truth.

Easy does it with the truthbombs there, Logan.

Possibly also the snark.

Just hang in there, buddy.

It's gonna be a hard day
But we are hanging here
It's gonna be a hard day
We are hanging here
We are hanging here

Endnotes:

I know this really isn't a step forward in the story, but really, Logan would not let me let that go. My poor Logan, so beautiful, so damaged. But at least, look, you get to see him hit rock bottom and the beginning of him getting started on the right track, with his personal health and his career.

Would anyone be interested in seeing Veronica in this similar timeline? Her pregnancy and the beginnings of Delaney? Writing this got some stirrings for it, but it is not necessary to the plot or path. Pleaser review and let me know your thoughts on the matter.

I have gotten a flutter of reviews in the last few days that I am going to address. Until quite recently, I have quite enjoyed only positive reviews from very lovely and well intentioned people. Here are a few things I would like to make clear. Logan is indeed a damaged and emotionally fragile person. He is also passionate, whimsical, and he gives his whole heart to the women he loves. My Veronica is NOT in any way too perfect. She has all of the same flaws that she had during the show, however; perhaps some of her sharper edges have been smoothed out by motherhood. Being responsible for the well being of a child, and in turn, receiving their love and unadulterated joy can melt the coldest of marshmallow hearts. As the story continues Veronica will have to face the person she is, and always will be in order to save Delaney. We shall all get to share in the joy that is Angry!Vernonica. And Delaney. I chose that name because I thought it was a strong, solid name for a little girl who has as much personality as she does. She is after all, half Logan and half Veronica! It can also be shortened and feminized as I have done with calling her Laney. Any time I have ever heard the name is has been in association with a girl's name, but technically, as it has Gaelic and French histories, it is gender neutral. That being said, I am not refusing her gender, so suck it anonymous guest, girls can be 'girly' and 'feminine' and 'dainty' even if they are named Ronald.

Lastly, thank you to all that have stood by as a struggled to finish this. Thank you for the great reviews that make my day and the positive thoughts. 2016 has been kinder, and the job front has much improved. I look forward to the thoughts from this snippet into the past, and please don't hate me! We all knew even canon Logan crashed and burned for a while before he became supersexypilotman.

The date in Logan's journal. Anybody hypothesize its significance?