A/N:
Disclaimer: I do not own Toriko or Naruto.
Note: Sani must be eaten by Zetsu at all costs and Deidara says hi.
Chapter 6: She's nuts.
Goddammit, I knew I should have let Kisame sleep on the floor. Now look what happened...
I woke up, the fucking sun flashing its butt in my face again, with Kisame's arm slung over my waist and Itachi's leg between mine. Toriko held on to one of my feet and Coco... Well... You see...
...
...
...
I was laying on top of him. Fucking sneaky gecko I tell you.
I sighed. Time to wake up the house. I thought. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" I screamed.
#1: Kisame jolted awake and dropped out of bed,
#2: Itachi flew through the window,
#3: Toriko did a backflip over the bed and
#4: Coco just woke up.
I sat up, obviously pissed off and got out of bed. "Honestly. Tonight, Kisame, you're sleeping on the fucking floor."
The whole house was awake. Sani fell out of the room he was in and Teppei, having slept too much, fell asleep in the hallway. I sighed and kicked both of them down the stairs.
Yep, everyone was awake. Itachi walked back in from where he landed outside with several pieces of grass stuck in his hair. "Hn." And then he dissapeared.
"Coffee..." Pein mumbled. Unfortunately, Hidan drank all the fucking coffee, so Pein was rather pissed off. Hidan's head flew across the room and landed in Sani's lap, who screamed bloody murder, threw Hidan's head away which landed on the floor and ran away.
"That fucking hurt!" Hidan's head shouted. Kakuzu sighed and stitched him back together.
Teppei stared at what was happening in front of him. I took a sip of coffee every few minutes.
Toriko's mouth hung agape. "No wonder you said immortal..."
Coco was asleep with his head on the table. Kisame walked by and kicked his chair out from under him. Coco fell, immediately turning purple and I burst out laughing. "Fucking Gecko I tell you!"
"That wasn't funny." Coco stated.
"Oh yes it was, fucking funny." Zetsu said. Deidara yawned.
"Oi, don't swallow us all." Kisame said.
"Piss off, un."
To be honest, Komatsu was rather quiet. He stared at the lot the whole time. "May-chan, these guys are creepy." He said.
"Creepy?" I asked. "More like fucking mad. Mad I tell you."
Pein smashed a cup on Hidan's head.
"See?"
"You fucking asshole! I shall fucking sacrifice you to Jashin-sama!" Hidan bellowed.
"Keep the bathroom clean." I said.
"These guys are nuts." Toriko said.
"No shit." I grumbled. "Komatsu, breakfast, or else Kisame starts making sushi."
"What's so bad about that?" Komatsu asked.
Deidara fell out of his seat. "Its horrible." He said after getting up.
"Eh... O-okay."
After breakfast, I got Hidan a whole lot of funky looking beasts that he could sacrifice. Teppei puked after he saw the ritual. Thank God Hidan did the ritual outside.
Sani appeared again. "I'm going to go train." He said and dissapeared.
Itachi poked his head out of the house to check if anyone was around and then slowly walked up to me. "Don't you ever shout again." He warned.
I stuck my tongue out at him. "Next time keep your legs to yourself." I said. Itachi blushed.
"Hn." He went inside.
Coco yawned. I sneaked up behind him and jabbed his sides. He jolted and I laughed. "Awake yet?" I asked.
"Why do we have to get up so early?" Toriko yawned.
"Because the Akatsuki are here." I said.
First person: Hidan.
My eyes widened and I stared ahead. Don't, please don't. I'll fucking kill you if you summon HIM! I mentally screamed. I turned around and sighed. "I'm fucking bored." I said.
May stared at me, then at the animals I didn't sacrifice, then back at me and grinned. No! For the love of fucking JASHIN NO! "Go play with Terry." She said. Relief washed over me and I walked away to go find the dog. "Never mind, I want to do something else." May said.
My eyes widened and I ran at top speed and glomped her. I have to admit, I don't like the fucking bitch, I just didn't want her to summon that fucking asshole.
"Oh Hidy-kun, are we getting happy all of the sudden, un?" Deidara asked. I glared up at him.
"Piss off bitch." I muttered. When I looked down, May was gone. "Oh fuck..."
Left, right. She had already drawn the symbol on the ground and was ready to plant her hand down.
"NoooooooO!" I yelled and dashed to stop her, but it was too fucking late.
Third person: mariXwic32 as watcher.
Apollo dived for cover under Teppei's foot, the Akatsuki members ran around screaming and May stood there, cackling and hugging a guy with a swirly orange mask. The guy was struggling to breathe, since she hugged his head. "Mmmrrff!"
"Huh?" May looked down at him and dropped him. "Oh, sorry, Tobi." She smiled sheepishly.
"May-chan!" And now it was May's turn to be half squashed to death. "Tobi missed May-chan!"
Hidan was hiding behind Toriko. "Keep that fucking asshole away from me!" The immortal bastard shouted.
"Yay! Hidan-sempai! Tobi missed sempai and his sempai too!" Tobi ran to glomp Hidan. Kakuzu and Deidara had already dived for cover behind Terry.
"Gyah! Gettawayfucker!" Hidan screamed.
"Sempai!" Tobi poked Deidara on the shoulder.
"Ahhh!"Deidara screamed. Terry attacked Tobi and knocked his mask off.
All of the Akatsuki members and May stared at him wide eyed, looking like guppies. Tobi froze. "Oh, my, GAWD!" Glomp! "Its Madawa-kun!" May screeched.
Kisame did a nosedive, Pein fainted, Zetsu slammed his plant shut, Deidara stared in disbelief, Kakuzu sewed his eyes shut, Itachi was missing and Hidan stabbed himself.
Coco was confused. "Who the heck is that?" He asked.
May didn't release Madara. "This is the hottest guy in the whole fucking story!"
"Madara Uchiha." Kisame snarled. "Who'd have thought."
"Hn. Can I get my mask back now?" Madara asked.
"No!" May screamed. "I like Madawa! Not Tobi-chan!"
The guy sighed. "God dammit."
"He was hyper up until Terry knocked the mask off... And he spoke in third person..." Teppei said.
"Torikoo! Meet your new rival!" May sang.
"How can he be my rivaa- he looks just like Star." Toriko said, eyes wide.
May squeaked. "Starjun-kun!" She put her hands on her cheeks, making a fangirl face.
Toriko's eye twitched. "Can we knock her out now?" He asked.
"NO!" May screamed and jumped on Madara's back. "Attack! Wait... I forgot something."
Itachi was out of the house in an instant. (So that's where he went.) "Don't you dare!"
"Too late." Madara sighed.
"Sasuke-kun!" May squealed, humping the poor guy's leg. "Now!" She said, standing up. "Uchiha attack!"
"Eh?" The three turned to her.
"What?"
Sasuke looked around, saw his brother and fainted. May looked at him.
"Awww, that's no fun!"
Coco, having had enough of May's constant rattling, screamed. "CAN WE GET SOME FOOD NOW?!"
Everyone turned to him. May giggled. "You made yourself look like an ass."
"Okay, I don't care about that now! What I want to know is how the hell did you get these guys here?!" Coco asked, getting frustrated.
May pondered. "Uh... Summoning spell?"
"Yeah, un." Deidara added.
"Is that different from teleporting?" Teppei asked.
"Yep."
May jabbed Sasuke with her foot. "Are you okay, Sasuke-kun?" She asked.
The guy freaked out and pointed at Itachi with eyes wide and a mouth hanging open.
"Oh that's right..." May said. "I summoned you from that timeline in the story..."
"But I killed him!" Sasuke yelled.
"Yeah, you did, but that's not my fucking point!" May whacked him upside the head. "Okay. Now, lemme explain clearly... After we get something to eat."
Everyone faceplanted.
Soon after, everyone was in the kitchen, food was on the table, and I repeat, WAS, because everything was finished in half an hour. May sighed and leaned back in her chair. "Okay, now I can explain."
Everyone leaned in closer.
"Toriko, Coco, Teppei and others, this is the Akatsuki and Sasuke." May pointed to them. "They are from a different 'anime' than this one, and there, the Akatsuki is a evil criminal organization. Sasuke comes from another team. Now," she turned to said person in question. "I summoned you out of a different timeline than the others because I wanted a full-grown Sasuke and a super hot 'Tachi."
Those two fell off their seats. "Okay, I get it now. But what's their names?" Coco asked.
May pointed to one after another. "That's Hidan, the immortal jackass who thinks Jashin is god."
"And only god!" Hidan chirped.
May slammed her fist down on his head and knocked him unconcious. "Shut up. Now, that's Zetsu, a crossbreed between a human and a venus flytrap who has a split personality."
"Hi, fuck you May." Zetsu said.
"Eh... Anyway, that's Pein, the guy with way too many piercings, also known as the leader of the Akatsuki but not really the leader." May continued.
"I don't have that many piercings." Pein protested.
May giggled. "Konan said something else..." She said. Pein blushed and dove for cover under the table. "Anyway, that's Kisame, the crossbreed between a shark and a human because his mother fucked around with a-"
"Shut up..." Kisame muttered.
"Hee hee, that's Deidara," May pointed to the blonde. "He's the bomber and the second youngest of the group, Hidan is the youngest. Deidara's got wierd mouths on his hands too, just by the way."
Deidara held up his hands. The mouths licked their lips. "Gross." Teppei said.
"I wonder what those are for." Coco said.
"Awesome!" Toriko exclaimed.
May coughed. "Moving on, that's Itachi Uchiha, hottie #1. All three Uchihas here are holders of the Sharingan, a super awesome powerful eye tecnique that sends a person into a state of panic in three seconds. His younger brother is Sasuke and their great great great great great granddad is Madara, but he's still young." She stuck out her tongue. "Madara is also the true leader of Akatsuki and covers up his identity as Tobi or Obito Uchiha."
Madara, Sasuke and Itachi glared at her and then resumed looking around. "Seriously, eye techniques?" Coco asked.
Itachi stared at him and three seconds later, Coco fell out of his seat. "Wow." Teppei said. "His eyes went red and then back and Coco dived off his seat."
May nodded. "Yep. Itachi probably gave him 72 hours of pain and horror with his Tsukyomi." She said.
"Awesome!" Toriko yelled. Komatsu was quiet. All the way, just... Quiet.
"Anyway!" May yelled. "Did I leave anyone out?" She asked. Kakuzu stuck his hand up. "Oh yeah, that's Kakuzu. He's a money-loving zombie with five hearts and wierd tentacles."
"That's not even remotely funny." He said.
May smiled at him. "There are two other Akatsuki members, but I didn't summon them. Sasori," Deidara burst out into tears and started screaming.
"Geez, what's with him?" Teppei asked.
May leaned closer to him. "I'll tell ya later." She whispered. "Kisame, get Deidara to a room will ya?"
"Why do I have to do it?" The fish asked.
"Just fucking do it!"
"Okay."
"Moving on." May said after Kisame left with Deidara clinging to him. "Sasori is dead, and he was Deidara's sempai. He was completely made of wood, courtesy of himself, and could controll puppets. Then there's Konan, the only female of the Akatsuki. She can control paper to fuck up anything she wants." May said. "So there's the Akatsuki."
"And Tobi?" Pein asked.
"Oh... He's the hyperactive asshole that everyone wants to kill." May finished. "That's why we like Madara and not Tobi."
Coco and Teppei stared at everyone. "What a wierd group of people."
"Ninjas." May said.
"Eh?! Ninjas?! Awesome!" Toriko shouted.
"They're creepy." Komatsu said.
"So?" May looked around. Her eyes fell on Coco. "How far did you get with the symbol?"
Coco faceplanted. "I didn't even get farther than those three lines."
"Okay, well... Get busy."
After an hour, Sasuke was being heartlessly crushed to death by May, who was hugging him tightly. Itachi and Madara were having a glare-off. Coco had gone home and Komatsu went to the hotel. Toriko kept trying to touch Kisame, but the fish reered around the whole time and eventually got Toriko's finger in his mouth. Toriko screamed and gave up. Teppei kept staring at May until Zetsu started talking to him and asking him if Sani was edible. Hidan was asleep on the couch and Deidara was still in the room. Kakuzu was counting money and Pein... In the shower.
May piped up. "Let's play dare." She said. In an instant, everyone was in a circle. "Wow, that was fast, so who's going first?"
He
Hehe
Hehehe
Hehehehe
I couldn't help it! I had to bring Tobi in! Just for a few minutes!
Okay, anyway, seeing as I had other plans with the moron, I couldn't help but feel, hey, this is awesome!
Besides that, who will start the dare game and what exactly will happen?
Join me next time to see why Teppei wound up all the way next to May in bed!