An Unexpected Spring

Chapter Six

Slowly, I realised that I was both hot and cold at the same time.

It was such a strange combination of temperatures that it just managed to keep me from falling back into unconsciousness. Soon, I became aware that the heat was washing over one side of my body while the cold settled along my other side. This perplexed me but I couldn't quite summon up the energy required to open my eyes.

As I further surfaced towards consciousness, I registered the gentle crackling noises that were close by and, a few moments later, the soft whistling of wind stealing through a confined space. The array of sounds and sensations was curious enough that I finally managed to open my eyes a crack and turn my head towards the source of the heat.

My eyes fixed immediately on a cheerful little fire and I finally understood both the source of my heated skin and the crackling sound. Feeling more alert, I turned my head to the other side and froze, holding my breath against the painful stiffness in my body. Gritting my teeth against the discomfort, I peered around at what I could see. The harsh ceiling of a cave curved overhead, softly illuminated by the orange light of the fire. Without it, the cavern would have been pitch dark.

Now I knew the "where", sort of, if not the "what".

Licking my lips nervously, I tensed my stomach muscles experimentally and found that the stiffness was already fading. Sliding my hands into place, I pushed myself up so that I was sitting. My eyes immediately fell on Rin's tiny figure a few feet from me, encased in warm furs and relaxed in slumber.

My heart immediately began to race as I remembered the situation I was in. The situation I'd been in before I'd blanked out. Pressing my lips together tightly, I turned my head enough to see Jaken curled into a strange lump on the opposite side of the fire to where I'd struggled up into a seated position. Which meant…

'Go to sleep, Miko.'

Tensing automatically, I twisted my body around until my eyes clashed with a brilliantly gold pair. It figured that Sesshomaru would place himself out of my direct line of vision for when I woke. He was a tactician, if nothing else.

Ignoring his words, I twisted around so that I could meet his gaze more directly. My hands went to the fur that was still wrapped around my shoulders and drew it closer. 'Where are we?' I asked quietly, conscious of the two people sleeping close by.

'We are not far from the human village,' Sesshomaru replied to my surprise, his eyes fixed on mine. 'We leave for my lands at first light.'

For a moment, I just stared at him as I considered that statement. Did he mean the usual "we" – Jaken, Rin and himself? I finally realised in a moment of distraction that Ah-Un was currently nowhere to be seen. Or did "we" include everyone that currently resided in the cave this night? It perplexed me that was for sure.

Shaking my head slightly, I put the question aside as I drew my knees up so that I was seated in a little ball, the furs wrapped around my legs as well. 'What happened back there?' I asked finally, aware that I needed to know. 'I… we were arguing and then… I don't remember anything after.'

Sesshomaru's eyes never wavered from mine and I half suspected he was testing my truthfulness. When I refused to look away, he surprised me by doing exactly that. With a small start, I followed his gaze and my mind went completely blank, unable to process what I was seeing for an excruciatingly long moment.

Sesshomaru sat reclined against the wall of the cave, one leg bent before him and the other resting along the ground. His right hand rested lightly on his bent knee, while his left hand lay on his other leg.

His. Left. Hand.

My mind kick-started into action again as a nasty shudder when down my spine. Belatedly, I realised that it probably shouldn't have surprised me so much. After all, I'd known his arm would eventually be returned to him; I'd seen it when the well had malfunctioned, taking me 100 years later into the future. What I hadn't realised was that I would have something to do with it.

'You knew, didn't you?' Sesshomaru questioned smoothly.

My eyes flew back up to his face slightly guiltily. When I saw the absence of anger, I slowly nodded. 'I knew,' I admitted. 'I just didn't know how.'

He seemed to accept that without question, though his eyes still never left my face.

I licked my lips nervously again. 'How did it happen?' I asked. I still wasn't quite sure. Hell, I wasn't even sure I wanted to know.

Once more, there was a slight pause as the demon in front of me considered my sincerity. 'My arm was restored,' he revealed after a moment, 'with the final release of your miko powers.'

I froze, even as my mind refused to entirely process that statement. 'My miko powers…' I repeated hesitantly.

Sesshomaru inclined his head minimally. 'You released a considerable amount of your miko energy as you lost consciousness, which apparently had a healing nature.'

You don't say, I thought as my eyes dropped once more to his newly restored arm. It still didn't seem quite real. I nodded slowly and then froze, finally realising what he'd said earlier.

'Wait,' I blurted. 'The final release of my miko powers? What do you mean by "final"?' Fear made my heartbeat thunder in my ears as I waited for his answer.

'Just that,' Sesshomaru replied, irritation creeping into his voice at having to explain himself. 'You released your final reserve of miko energy which, if my suspicions are correct, will not be replenished.'

A horrible shudder wracked my spine. I knew what he was saying, even as my mind tried to shy away from it. My miko powers… gone.

'No,' I whispered. 'You can't be right.'

An aristocratic eyebrow arched in response. A moment later, I felt the wash of his aura over me and tensed, still expecting the rise of my own aura. Again there was nothing.

I gave him a level stare. 'You've done this once before, remember?' I challenged archly. 'And you've just said that I released miko energy yesterday.'

'In response to this very test,' Sesshomaru replied. 'And yet today you feel nothing. You feel no repulsion or need to shy away from my demonic presence. Your scent, miko, has further changed.'

The ringing in my ears was the only warning I got. The next second I threw myself towards him, my hands going for his throat. Emerging demon or not, I found myself slammed onto my back, a clawed hand over my own throat. I gasped, my hands weakly pulling at his wrist.

Sesshomaru's furious face appeared over mine. 'Do not be foolish, miko,' he warned dangerously. 'Rein in your anger. Your loss of miko powers was not the result of my actions. The damage was done the moment you angered the wild woman in a fight not your own.'

I stopped struggling, my furious eyes fixed on his face. 'Oh, no,' I whispered. 'That's where you're wrong. The damage was done when we spoke at the well that day. And for that I will always hate you,' I vowed with the utmost sincerity.

His golden eyes narrowed on my face. 'Are you trying to tell me that if you knew what it would cost you, you would not have saved Rin's life?'

'NO!' I shouted, making another attempt at attacking him. I gasped, still pinned by his hand which tightened threateningly. 'I hate you because you are going to make a decision in your future that will ensure I experience all this!' I yelled, furious beyond belief.

'Explain,' he demanded.

I let out a harsh sound of fury combined with despair. 'You told me to insist on staying with you,' I told him at last. 'You told me that we had "personal business" to attend to,' I hissed at him. 'And I finally know what that is! Well congratulations, Sesshomaru! You have your arm back,' I ground out, furious tears collecting in the corners of my eyes. 'And it's happened because you knowingly trade my life as a human miko for your arm, no matter how much you see me suffer. I hope you go to hell for it.'

For a long moment, the inu youkai just stared at me, his face impossible to read while the tears streaked down the sides of my face and splashed against the stone I was pinned against. The tears came faster as I realised that here I was, at the very lowest moment of my life, while the demon responsible for it had just been restored to his former glory.

Closing my eyes, I felt the hand leave my throat but refused to acknowledge it. I was grateful however, when silence was the only thing that followed. I remained where I was, aware that there wasn't much dignity left to preserve.

So I kept my eyes closed and prayed for some sleep before I would return to the village in the morning. Until then, I couldn't bear to even consider the rest of my life.

….

By the time I cracked open my eyes in the morning, a pair of sweet chocolate brown eyes were peering into mine.

'Rin,' I said, smiling automatically.

She dropped back to sit on her heels, watching me with an expression halfway between cheerfulness and timidness. 'Are you hungry, Kagome-sama?' she asked.

I blinked, wondering at her sudden formality until realisation struck me suddenly. Sitting up and looking around, I quickly saw that Sesshomaru was nowhere to be seen. I focused back on the child in front of me and realised that I must have woken her the night before by yelling at Sesshomaru. 'Rin, there's no need to be so formal,' I told her gently. 'Please call me Kagome.'

She smiled, though there was still unhappiness in her eyes. 'Okay,' she said. 'Are you hungry, Kagome?'

There was something in her expression that, even though I didn't feel like eating, I found myself nodding. 'Yes thanks, Rin.'

She smiled and hurried away, returning in just moments with a bowl of rice and what I suspected was some sort of wild game. Rin settled herself beside me, happily shovelling food into her mouth with an enthusiasm that only young children can get away with. I couldn't help but laugh and Rin peered up at me, grinning around a mouthful of rice.

As we ate, I considered the events of the night with a certain amount of wariness. I found myself cringing as I remembered my angry words to Sesshomaru. It was remarkable that I'd lived through the night after saying such things.

Slowly, I realised that there was no point holding onto my anger. Anger took a lot of energy – energy that I currently needed to deal with whatever it was that was happening to me. I frowned as I considered my options. Really, the only thing I could do was wait out the effects of my illness in the human village.

I considered trying to wait out the winter in a cave such as this one so I didn't possibly endanger the human villagers but I knew I wouldn't last the winter without proper shelter. I suspected that it wouldn't take much for my body to give up, given what was happening to it. With a shudder, I tried to not think about it in too much detail right now. One day at a time, I decided.

After helping Rin and Jaken (who seemed determined to ignore me) pack up the camp site, I stood and wrapped my furs around my shoulders tightly. Jaken put of the fire which had burned all night and with perfect timing, Sesshomaru appeared at the mouth of the cave. Ah-Un peered into the cave over his shoulder.

I deliberately avoiding his eyes as Rin cried out in delight and danced around as she welcomed her lord back. I suddenly wished I'd left for the village even two minutes earlier. I could have avoided this awkwardness.

'Miko.'

I flinched but quickly steeled myself before turning and meeting his eyes. I half expected that he would either tell me which direction to walk in to find the human village or to tell me that Inuyasha was on his way. I was wrong on both guesses.

'Come here,' was all he said.

I hesitated, distinctly wary. At the slight narrowing of his eyes I started walking towards him. I consoled myself with the knowledge that he probably wouldn't kill me in front of Rin and besides, surely he wouldn't have let me live through the night to kill me now. Right?

So I was shocked when his hands suddenly gripped my waist and I was swiftly deposited on Ah-Un, my hands flying grip the front of the saddle in a death grip. My wide eyes shot sideways towards Sesshomaru. He ignored me completely, instead beckoning Rin forward and placing her in front of me as I quickly moved my hands to give her room.

His eyes met mine once more with a long unreadable look before he turned his head away and he left the mouth of the cave. I opened my mouth to argue when the cloud suddenly gathered around Sesshomaru's feet and he took to the air, taking Jaken along with him.

My eyes went wide as Ah-Un immediately followed. My arms went instinctively around Rin so she wouldn't fall. Rin, however, just turned her head towards me and gave me a wide smile. I belatedly realised that Rin travelled on this dragon quite often so it must be safe for her to do so.

As we breached the canopy of the trees and levelled out, I slowly relaxed my hold on Rin, though she settled contentedly back against me. The rush of air made speaking impossible so we sat in silence, trailing behind the high-handed inu youkai and his retainer.

I ground my teeth together in agitation. What on earth was Sesshomaru doing? The obvious answer was that he was returning to his lands. What I wanted to know was why he was taking me with him, especially after my outburst the night before. I didn't understand it.

In the end, we flew throughout the day. Rin alternated between singing happily, though her words were lost to the wind, and sleeping safe in the knowledge that I wouldn't let her fall. It both charmed and humbled me to be shown that level of trust.

Eventually though, after I'd travelled further west in the feudal era than I'd ventured previously, Sesshomaru led us into an easy descent. We disappeared through the gap in the canopy of trees and landed in a small clearing, just past a hot spring.

Intrigued, I watched as Sesshomaru quickly scanned the area around us. After a few moments, he seemed satisfied and turned his head slightly towards us. 'We'll camp here tonight,' he said. Without another word, he continued on through the trees, leaving us to our own devices.

Shaking my head at his attitude, I gently shook Rin's arm. 'Rin,' I murmured. 'Time to get up.'

She stirred and looked around us. 'Where's Lord Sesshomaru?' she asked immediately.

Before I could speak, Jaken rounded on the young girl. 'Lord Sesshomaru does not have to report to you!' he immediately scolded Rin. 'You are a selfish little—'

'Jaken,' I said sharply. 'Stop talking.' If there was one thing that angered me (not counting Sesshomaru), it was any form of unpleasantness towards a child.

The little imp stared at me in shock as I carefully helped Rin to her feet on the ground and slid down after her. My legs were stiff from sitting for so long and I sighed in contentment at the increased circulation.

'Kagome,' Rin said. 'Can we go bathe?'

I blinked in surprise. 'Well…' I said and then hesitated. I'd seen the hot spring shortly before we'd landed so I knew it was a short walk away. I felt a lump build in my throat when I realised my reluctance was because of my own inability to protect Rin if anything happened. I had no miko powers to call on if anything happened and that thought terrified me.

Then I remembered Sesshomaru scanning the area as we first arrived. He'd apparently deemed it safe enough to walk away, leaving Rin here with just Jaken and myself. Glancing sideways at Jaken who was struggling to light a fire with snow-dampened wood, I decided that Sesshomaru wouldn't rely on the imp to protect Rin from a demon attack.

So Sesshomaru was still close.

Holding out my hand, I smiled at Rin. 'Sure. Let's go.'

A wide smile broke out on her face as she accepted my hand and we walked together back towards the spring. As I'd thought, the walk was uninterrupted and we bathed in peace, relishing the heat of the water. By the time we wandered back to camp, my spirits were much higher than I'd expected.

Stepping into the clearing, I paused mid step to see Sesshomaru had returned. Rin immediately bounded over to where he sat reclined against one of the trees, chattering away about our trip to the hot spring. His eyes met mine over the top of Rin's head and I looked away, unable to meet such a direct gaze right now.

I felt too conflicted, too ambivalent. So I collected my furs from where I'd draped them over the two-headed dragon and found my own tree to lean against on the opposite side of the camp to the golden eyed demon. And as much as I tried to ignore him, I still noticed the way he instructed Rin to collect a fur pelt of her own from Ah-Un and watched her carefully until she'd wrapped herself in it and gone to sleep beside the fire.

It made me wonder just how much of himself Sesshomaru hid away from the outside world. I was sure I'd never seen this protective side before. Or at least not to this extent.

Realising that I was staring, I deliberately closed my eyes and leant my head back against the tree. I felt entirely too awake but pretending to sleep was better than being caught staring at a creature like Sesshomaru.

So I sat there and listened to the gentle crackling of the fire while praying I'd make it through my transformation. After all, it was about time I admitted to myself that it was happening. And I would deal with it when it happened.

It was both as simple and as complex as that.

…o…o…o…o…o…o…o…o…o…o

A/N: Thanks so much for your reviews everyone! I've really appreciated it.

On a highly sad note, my thoughts are with the many people in Queensland, Australia who are struggling with the widespread floods of this past week. You're all truly inspirational and I hope your recovery is fast and thorough!

As for this story, I think you will all like the next chapter in particular ;)