Okay, so I think I should move the story along, otherwise it'll take.. so many chapters to get her away from James.. haha.

OH AND partial credit of this goes toooo MyManIsJacksonR-JasperW for helping me with this idea (:

It's been almost six months since I got out of the hospital, and the more and more sessions I had with Jasper the more I lost hope of regaining my memory. It seemed like the more and more time I spent in his office the more and more my hope faded. It was odd, though - the more I didn't care to remember my past, the more I felt like I was having deja vu like moments. That's maybe because I'm just reliving, I guess, but still, it freaked me out. I mentioned this to Jasper and he asked me what it was I had felt like I was reliving. All I mentioned was that when we'd fight id feel like Ive seen it all before (which wasn't really a lie, by the way), and he said that maybe we had had these arguments previously. It didn't mean much anymore, and I didn't care about regaining my memory. Who needs memory? A part of me kept the will there, but then again, I just had this strong feeling that it didn't matter - life then was the same as it is now, and it didn't seem necessary to me.

Jasper always had some sort of counterattack waiting for me. "It is important though, don't you see? Don't you want to know how you used to be?"

"I - er - no?"

He looked surprised. "Really? Hm."

He stared off then, he seemed lost in thought. I never bothered him when he did this, it was entertaining to see. It sounds weird, but when he does things like this I feel like he's not my therapist, like he's my friend. Ever since I've been home I've noticed that I don't have any friends, and something tells me that that's not really my fault. I wish he was actually my friend, and not my therapist. I always wonder whether or not he does consider us friends, and I sometimes want to ask - but can you imagine just how awkward that would actually be?

Hey, are we friends?

So Jasper. I know you're my therapist and everything, but I was wondering if you see me as, you know, your buddy too.

Hm. Right. I think asking is completely out of the question. Maybe I could sneak it on. But how, exactly?

I snuggled myself into the tangerine colored couch I was sitting on and noticed things about it. Like how the color made me think of fall, although oranges don't have much to do with fall. And the fact that how it was leather made me slightly nauseated - I was sitting on a dead cow.. how cute. Tangerine colored leather, I wonder who came up with that one, and who decided to buy it. It was comfortable, I must admit. I distracted myself by day dreaming of ways I could say something to Jasper, all the while scolding myself about how that wasn't weird. After a few minutes I came up with something, it was my only shot.

"Hey, Jasper?"

Immediately he broke free of the somewhat of a trance he was in and looked my way. "Yes?"

"I was uh, thinking, and.."

"And..."

"And well, I thought of another thing I don't think about James."

"Another thing to add to your list, huh? I really do think you should just divorce the guy. Get it over with."

"Funny."

He gave me an apologetic smile before continuing. "Well, no, I'm being serious! But, what is it you don't like?"

"It's like I'm isolated, you know? I don't talk to anyone except James, and I don't even like to talk to him!"

He laughed at this.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing. Continue."

"No, tell me why you laughed. I want to know what was so humorous!"

Thankfully he understood by my tone of voice that I wasn't actually angry with him, which made me feel even more like we were somewhat friends. I mean, the way we speak to each other, and have gotten to know each other - well, I guess I wouldn't go that far. But the way we talk to each other and everything, it's not the way a therapist would talk to his patient, or at least I think so.

"Well, because. Would you listen to yourself?"

I glared at him. "What do you mean?"

"'I don't talk to anyone but James, and I don't even like to talk to him!' Do you really not realize how funny that sounds?!"

I laughed with him. "I guess so. But still. It's not like I have anyone else to talk to, I'm cooped up in the house all the time like some prisoner."

"You have me to talk to, that's what I'm here for."

"Well, I know. But, that's not what I meant, and besides. Three hours a week. How nice."

It's time! I thought excitedly.

"Well what did you mean, then?"

"I meant like, a friend. You know? I don't have any friends to talk to."

He scoffed, taking mock offense. "Do you not consider me your friend? I'm hurt!"

I laughed lightly. "Do you consider me yours?"

"Well of course! I'm not this carefree with my other patients."

I was beaming. "Oh, okay."

"What's that mean?" He said while smiling that brilliant smile of his. I blushed, I'm not even sure why. It was weird and I hated that I couldn't exactly hide it. Of course he would notice it.

"It doesn't mean anything. Just means 'okay'."

He shook his head at me. "Well, before we waste anymore time. Let's start being serious-" Was he not being serious, then?

I shook my head, vigorously trying to mentally shake myself of these thoughts.

"So, Bella. I was thinking, and I think it might be a good idea if I came by your house tomorrow."

I was shocked. Was he insane?! A good idea to come by my house.. right. How am I gonna explain this to James?

Then it hit me.

I wont explain it to James. Maybe then Jasper could see.. and I could be free. Finally.

Free.

Actually free. The word felt so good to repeat over and over in my head.

I must've been talking to myself in my head for a good minute or two, because Jasper had been saying my name.

"Oh, sorry. What?"

He stared at me for a minute, as if expecting me to go back to talking to myself in my head, and then continued.

"Well, uh. I was saying that I think it'd be a good idea if I came by your house tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Just because I think that if I saw what your life is like then I could understand what you mean by.. 'rough', although I'm sure it'd be a little less 'rough', considering I'm there. Then I could ask your husband about how you acted before the accident. Id have something more to work with."

I tried to act like it wasn't a big deal to me, and my whole life wasn't riding on this.

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but still. It's important.

"Oh.. uh. I guess. Yeah, sure, alright."

He smiled. "Okay, then! I'll come around three?"

"James wont be home."

"Oh, okay. What time is good then?"

"Hm." I thought about it for a minute, I had to think of a good time. Enough time to set up, and make it more than obvious for Jasper while doing it all without James knowing. What would be the perfect time.. when James got home from work, of course. Right before, perfect. That'll set James off.

I was overflowing with excitement. I'm surprised I didn't freak Jasper out by shaking with it.

"Around seven. Actually. Seven. On the dot. Ill have dinner ready and everything."

"Alright, then. I think that's about all the time we have for today, perfect timing, huh?"

"Yeah." I said bitterly.

He stood up and so did I. I went to hug him until I noticed he was extending his hand and I was instantly embarrassed. My face was probably as red as a tomato, and I tried to play it off, badly. I shook his hand and mumbled a goodbye before turning to stumble out of the room. "Uh, Bella?"

I turned around. "Yeah?"

He extended his arms.

Whether it was to spare my feelings or because he actually did want to hug me I didn't know, and I didn't care. I hugged him lightly, trying hard to make it seem like I hadn't really, really wanted this. As he let go he said "See you tomorrow." and grinned at me.

I know he didn't mean anything by it, aside from he'll see me tomorrow, but I felt like he did.

"Right. See you, then." I smiled at him before stumbling out of the room and walking out to the parking lot, seeing James in the car waiting for me, as usual.