Chapter 6: What just happened?
Suddenly, just like at the bar Spencer grabbed my hand turning me back. That's when his lips met mine.
I knew I wanted this, but my mind started to overthink the situation. What was he doing, was this him or the two drinks he had? The soft touch of his lips turned into a more passionate, deeper pull. I needed to make a choice, do I continue this and risk messing up what we barely started or push him away and hope to begin a deeper connection… This was overwhelming and my lips were natural reacting to what they had waited since I had laid eyes on Spencer Reid.
I needed to control the situation. I pushed him back slightly and touched my lips, looking up at him. I tried to form words but before I could he took off.
Did I just make a huge mistake? Did he think I rejected him?
Shit, what did I just do.
Instead of going after Spencer I allowed him to go. It was better if we talked about this when I wasn't slightly drunk, I could explain myself better and I had to explain myself.
I woke up the next morning feeling my drinks and regret heavily. Why did I push Spencer away, I am such an idiot. I checked my phone, no missed messages so I jumped in the shower wishing to ease some of my inner pain. Once out of the shower, it was nearly 7:30 am and I needed to be to the office by 9. I decided to text Spencer, asking him to meet me at a coffee shop close to work. I would rather just get this over with now. If he was going to say that he regretted last night, or that he didn't mean to, might as well know now before work started. A simple response buzzed across my screen, 'Sure, be there in 15 minutes.' Better than a no, I guess.
I made it there in 10 minutes and just waited until I saw him walk in. The blood instantly rushed to my cheeks. I hadn't had this reaction to anyone in so long. How could I tell him about all the things that made me guarded? He would never accept me. I was damaged, broken and not worth how amazing and intelligent he was.
"Hey Spence." My eyes shyly looked up at him. "I'm glad you came, I wanted to explain why I pushed you away last night…"
Before I finished he cut in, "it was unprofessional and I read the situation incorrectly. It won't happen again. I am sorry."
"No, Spencer! That's not why I did it! You don't know me and I didn't want you to start anything before you even got to know me first. It isn't fair to you." I pleaded with him to listen.
He looked back at me for a second, then back down at the ground as if contemplating what I just said. "What do you mean?"
"Just that I want us to get to know each other before we are, well involved…" I paused, "it has been awhile since I have been with someone and I don't think it is right to be with you, someone who is so much more than I am. Especially, with you not even knowing anything about me." There was evident of pain in my voice.
"I can see the logic behind that. I'm sorry if I stepped over any boundaries with you." He said, clearly not getting that kissing me wasn't the issue here.
"Spencer" I said in a slightly hushed ton, trying to conceal my aggravation, "I am very attracted to you, even in this short amount of time. I want to get to know you better though. More importantly I want you to get to know me. This has nothing to do with kissing me, because I enjoyed it more than you could ever know. I am going to go now before I make a bigger ass out of myself. I will see you at work." With that I left, completely embarrassed for attempting how much I truly liked him and having no clue if he even felt anything for me back.
"Hey, why the long face?" Rossi asked.
"Just a bit hung over still that's all." Hoping he would take the lie a let it rest.
"Sure, whatever you say. Remember that you now work with a team that reads people everyday." Nope, he wasn't buying it. "But not just that, we also think of each other like family. I hope you will come to feel that way." With that he simply went back to reading the paperwork on his desk.
"Team, conference room. We have another case." Hotchner walked out of his office with JJ right behind.
Garcia was already waiting in the room for everyone with images of two females up on the screen. "Two females, one age 25 and the other age 28, found outside of two different local bars in the Chicago area. They were leaned up against the garbage can around the back alley, shown signs of a beatings with the fatal wound being a blow to the head. The medical examiner believes both women had their heads smashed forcefully against the ground to cause death." Garcia shuddered a bit.
"We have been called into help because they are concerned at the rate the bodies are turning up that there will be more. These bodies have been found within the past two nights, and we can only hope that there isn't another one tonight." Hotchner continued with, "we will be flying out in 30 minutes, grab your bags and let's go."
So far my plan of avoiding Spencer was working well, I didn't make eye contact with him at the office and I had carefully avoided him on the plane. This maybe easier than I thought, just push away the feelings and everything will be okay or at least that is what I would keep telling myself.
We arrived that afternoon at the police station and were able to get set up inside a separate office. We didn't have much to go on at this point and it was only a matter of hours before a new body could turn up.
"Alright team, it is almost night time and I know we are all tired but we do not have much information to go on with this unsub. I want everyone except Reid to go out and canvas the bars around the geographical area that Reid has started to map out. Go in pairs. Reid, continue to try to narrow down the area, if possible, and continue to look over the files. You are our fastest eyes." Hotchner explained quickly and began to break us up into pairs. He also told us to blend in to the crowds and try not to draw attention to ourselves.
I quickly headed back to my hotel room, slipped on some jeans with a band t-shirt and a leather jacket allowing me to conceal my weapon, 'just in case' I thought. I was teamed up with Morgan and we selected to go to the more popular nightclub/bar. Agent Hotchner pulled me aside, insisting I be extra vigilant considering I was in the age range that fit the description and that I could in fact become a target with us not being aware of how they were selected. I nodded in agreement. I understood the risk of going out, however this was more what I was trained to do.
Morgan and I entered the nightclub called Berlin. It was around 10 o'clock when the place started to get heavily populated and we decided splitting up to separate corners might be best. While we did not want the other one to be left unprotected, there is no way we could watch everything from the same area we were standing in. I told Morgan that we both have cellphones and can stay within seeing distance, and with that we agreed.
Near 11:30 something caught my eye, it was a young girl near my age walking near the back exit with a male that hand a tight hand on her back. I quickly rang Morgan while trying to get his attention, no such luck though. I left a message stating where I was going, and went to follow the suspicious couple.
Once I got out the door I hung back a bit to see what was going on. It made me a bit queasy but it wasn't anything violent, more sexual. 'I did not need to see that' is all I could keep thinking as they kept playing tonsil hockey and he dragged his hand up and down her body. Definitely not the unsub.
Turning around to go back inside, I realized that this is exit didn't have a handle that would allow me back in. Great time to walk all the way back around to the front.
As I started to walk, I got the sense something or someone was behind me. I quickly turned around but nothing besides the make-out couple was still way down at the other end going at it. 'Must be losing my edge', I thought and kept going but couldn't shake that hair standing on edge feeling. I wiped around one more time and got clocked square in the jaw knocking me to the ground. When I regained myself, I looked up and it was my shady that was just all over the girl from the club. She was now laying, what I hope, was unconscious on the ground. He kicked his left foot into my rib cage and I let out a gush of wind. Now, I was pissed. I turned over and grabbed my gun out of my holster. "FBI!" I yelled.
When he came at me again, I shot his right shoulder hoping to stop him. He momentarily stopped, stunned that I shot him and then charged at me. I was not expecting him to come at me so quickly and he was able to grab my gun throwing it, then landed a punch to my face.
That was the last hit he got in on me because another shot rang out from Derek Morgan's gun. The unsub slumped onto my body, checking his pulse I called out to Derek that he was gone and to go check the victim.
5 stitches across my left eyebrow and two bruised ribs later I was back at my hotel room. Hotch said that we would fly out tomorrow around noon after clearing the events of last night, I appreciated the time to rest.
I had just got out of my shower when I heard a knock on my door. Not having time to put on much clothing I quickly threw on a pair of shorts and a tank. Standing there, looking nervous for some reason was none other than Spencer Reid. My heart couldn't help but flutter.
"I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay…" Spencer looked down as his foot while saying.
"Umm, yeah I am. Just a little sore, nothing I haven't had happen before." He looked a little disappointed by my playing it cool answer.
"Look Paxton, you… you worried me. When I heard that they needed two ambulances and that one was for an FBI agent" He paused and looked into my eyes "I knew it had to be for you and I couldn't stop myself from freaking out. You had told me how you were feeling when we got coffee and I just sat there like an idiot. I didn't even bother to tell you that I liked you." He quickly stammered out.
"Did you just say you like me?"
Scratching the back of his head and then fixing his glasses nervously, "yes?"
I couldn't help myself at that point I pulled him into a kiss and to my surprise he responded with a fever that I would have never expected to come from shy Dr. Reid.