Thanks to moviemom44 for pointing out a typo, I fixed it : ) and to those who have reviewed so far!
Two months passed. Two slow, angst filled months. Trivette, Gage, and Sydney had been working hard on the home invasion case, harder than ever with the full extent of the city behind them, but nothing had come of it. Walker and Alex had been the last victims of the gang of home invaders; there hadn't been another robbery since that night.
They'd had a funeral for Alex almost two weeks after she died. The delay was due to a number of factors. First, the coroner wanted to perform an autopsy, though what he hoped to learn was impossible to figure out. The body was burnt to a crisp, beyond any possible identification. But there was no doubt that it was Alex. The hypothesized height and weight matched hers perfectly. No DNA from the hair strands was viable, but the coroner did note that the hairs were indeed naturally blonde. The only other note he had was that the skeleton was in pristine condition, except for the fact that it had been burned. The autopsy had taken a few days to do because of the backload of cases; when it was finished, the remaining delay was because of the three remaining Rangers. And the fourth who, miraculously, was still clinging to life.
Walker lived the first night in the hospital. Doctors were stunned, but warned that he could not hold on much longer. His body would deteriorate, and he would die. But then he survived a second night. He was still in a coma, doctors said, but holding on. The third night, his heart stopped. Sydney was the one sitting with him that night, for they'd arranged a rotating schedule, and she watched as doctors and nurses shocked him over and over again trying to get his stubborn heart to beat. Part of her wanted to stop them, thinking that maybe if Walker never woke up, he wouldn't even have to find out about Alex. And the other part of her willed him to wake, to fix everything. She hadn't slept since Alex died. Rationally, she knew Walker couldn't bring her back, but the irrational part of her was convinced that Walker could do anything. Thankfully, the doctors had restarted his heart in the end, and they were running more tests than ever. The tests were inconclusive; he was indeed in a coma. There was severe damage to some of his organs from loss of blood. But he was still alive.
Ten days after Alex died; they finally made the decision that they had to have the funeral. Secretly, subconsciously, whatever you wanted to call it, they'd all been waiting for Walker to wake up and tell them what to do. This was his decision to make, this was his wife. He deserved the chance to say goodbye more than any of them; no one wanted to bury her without Walker present. But they couldn't wait any longer.
The service was brief, a few of Alex's favorite hymns and prayers, and a few anecdotes from friends. A soloist sang Amazing Grace as they lowered her casket into the ground. Gage, Trivette, and Sydney stayed at the cemetery long after the ceremony ended each lost in their own thoughts and memories of the incredible woman they'd had the privilege of calling their friend.
Their only solace was in pursuing the case with a more renewed passion than they'd ever had. They were putting in eighteen to twenty hour days, sometimes even sleeping at the office. Tables were suddenly very comfortable and the coffee machine was on all night. They tossed theories back and forth about suspects and such, but nothing came to fruition. There was simply nothing there, especially now that the attacks had stopped. It was around this time that they stopped talking to each other.
At first, the silence had been nice. Each was free to remember Alex in their own way; Trivette focused on events they'd been through together, like the time Caleb Hooks locked them in a tank and they almost drowned. She'd been so strong during that. Then there was the time Walker was trapped in the car that fell off the bridge and ended up in a coma. Alex refused to come back to work and instead stayed there with him day and night. Trivette often scoffed at ideas of the supernatural, but secretly, he thought Alex's presence may have been some kind of incentive for Walker to wake up. He wished she could be here now to do the same, he had the nagging feeling that Walker would know what to do to crack this case wide open.
He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn't even realize that Sydney and Gage hadn't spoken to each other in over three weeks. One night, Sydney showed up at Gage's apartment, clutching warm boxes to Chinese food. Her face was puffy, her eyes red, but Gage knew better than to ask if she'd been crying. This was her way of reaching out to him and he knew it. The truth was, he'd been contemplating going to her place that very night. It was a week after the funeral and tensions were high because of the lack of leads. The only notable event was the death of a local drug dealer and the rise of another one, but that was entirely unrelated to the case. At any rate, Gage was glad she'd come.
"Hey Shorty." He offered a small smile as he opened the door.
"Hi. Hungry?" she asked, not quite meeting his eyes.
"Sure." He stepped aside to let her in. They spread the food out on the coffee table and settled in on the couch. Sydney picked up her chopsticks but put them back down before she ate anything.
"She's gone." She felt tears poking at the back of her eyes and willed them to go away. One escaped though, and slid down her cheek. Part of her felt like an idiot, how many times had she told herself not to cry in front of her male partners? How many nights had she gone home and iced bumps and bruises and sprains and gone to work the next day pretending like nothing was wrong? But the other part of her knew that if anyone would understand, it would be Gage. "I just…don't know. How can she be gone?" She took a deep breath, trying and failing to maintain her composure. She lowered her face until it was resting in her hands. Nearby, she heard Gage set down his chopsticks and suddenly felt his arm encircling her shoulders, pulling her to him. She let her head rest on his chest and took comfort on the steady beating of his heart, letting the bottled up tears course down her face. They sat like that in silence for awhile before Gage spoke.
"I know. It's like, why did she have to be the one to go? Why not some evil scum already on death row in Huntsville? Alex is…was…such a good person."
Sydney took a breath. "I feel like there should have been something I could have done. That we could have done. Any of us."
"There wasn't. We got there as soon as Trivette figured out what was going on." The tone of his voice suggested he was not only trying to convince her, but himself as well.
"I just can't believe I'll never see her again." Sydney said softly. Never see her again. Those four words ignited a fresh outpouring of tears, but she was too tired to be ashamed as they soaked into Gage's T-shirt. She was too tired to feel the tears dripping off of Gage's chin and into her hair.
Again they sat there, curled up on the couch staring at nothing, saying nothing. Eventually, Gage broke the silence again.
"It makes you realize how short life really is." He mused softly. "How it can be all gone in an instant."
Sydney sat up, nodding and wiping her face. "I know what you mean." And in that instant, their eyes met and Sydney found herself leaning her face toward Gage's as he leaned toward her. Their lips met and it was a feeling Sydney had never felt before, one of pure trust, of gentleness, and of passion. Without thinking, she let Gage push her backwards onto the couch, and he gently lowered himself on top of her. She yanked his T-shirt over his head as he started unbuttoning hers; exposing the simple black bra she was wearing. She flicked the button of his jeans through the hole and helped him shimmy out of them before doing the same with hers. She felt Gage's hands around her back, searching for the clasp of her bra and felt him unhook it. He took his mouth off of hers and pressed it to her collarbone, sliding one hand under her back and arching her body to his. Somehow, they'd managed to wriggle out of their underwear and for awhile, they silently marveled at the others body, Gage's toned and fit; Sydney's smooth and muscular.
Some part of Sydney had fantasized about this moment often, the time she and Gage first made love. It lived up to her every expectation as their hips moved in synchronicity and they united in a way she'd only ever dreamed about. In that moment she felt as though nothing could go wrong in the world, she felt safe in Gage's arms. It was like her body was hyperaware of everything going on, the touch of Gage's hands on her body, the feel of his mouth on hers. For right now, at least, everything was completely perfect.
Somehow in their tryst they'd rolled over and Sydney had fallen asleep on top of Gage, his arms encircling her bare back. They'd fallen asleep in a moment of complete and utter peace, but when they awoke, that peace was long gone.
Gage woke up first, not unused to finding himself on the couch; he often fell asleep with the television on. When he realized that Sydney was on top of him, her dark hair splayed across his chest, it took him a moment to remember. And suddenly, it all came back: the feel of her skin under his fingertips, the racing of her heart when he kissed her, the feelings he had that nothing could possibly be wrong in the world when this was so right.
But then, as it so often did, his mind started racing. Why had he let himself do this? Alex hadn't even been dead a month, and here he was having sex on his couch like nothing was wrong. And if that wasn't bad enough, he'd just had sex with his partner. The same partner he'd been lusting after since they joined up, of course, but still. After that kiss the night of Alex and Walker's wedding, Sydney had made it very clear that any feelings either of them had needed to take a backseat. They were partners first. Any romantic involvement would compromise that and he'd been perfectly content to mask his feelings the same way he knew she was masking hers.
Before he had another thought, Sydney started stirring. She moaned lightly and stretched her body so her short frame seemed even longer atop his. Realizing that she was not in her own bed, she froze, snapping her head toward his, meeting his eyes immediately.
"Oh my God. What did we do? Gage, what the hell were we thinking?" she screeched, knowing she could not blame him for this at all.
"Syd, its okay, calm-"
"Calm down? Don't tell me to calm down! I just buried one of my best friends and now I'm here with-with you having-making-whatever! How could I do that Gage?" she was nearly hysterical.
"Sydney, stop. We just buried one of our best friends. Alex was my friend too. And we both did this. It wasn't just you."
She glared at him. "I should have known better than this. Why did I come here last night?" Before he could answer, she plowed on. "You know what? Let's just forget this ever happened, okay?" She stood and grabbed her clothes throwing them on haphazardly. "Let's just focus on this case. We owe it to Walker and Alex to do at least that much. Where is my goddamn phone?" she spied it lying on the kitchen counter and snatched it, flipping it open to check her messages. Gage, not wanting to say the wrong thing, stood and dressed himself. Once he was fully clothed, he looked at Sydney.
"Anything?"
"No." she looked as though she might cry again.
"Shorty, listen, we didn't do anything wrong." He went to her and tilted her chin up so she was looking at him. "It's okay."
She jerked her face out of his hand. "No, Gage, it is not okay! We are going to forget this ever happened. Not a word, do you hear me? Gage," she pleaded. "Not a word."
Gage had never heard Sydney beg before, for anything. And he had to admit to himself that they would be in huge trouble with the department if anyone found out about this.
"Okay Shorty. I promise I won't tell anyone."
She opened her mouth like she wanted to say something else, but instead closed it and shook her head, practically leaping to the door, wrenching it open. Within minutes her car peeled out of the parking lot and she was gone.
That was a month ago, and they still weren't speaking. Once he'd realized something was up, Trivette had tried to get them to talk, at least to him, but they wouldn't. Before long, silence had become the norm and they all pushed harder than ever to solve this case. It had all but gone cold, no leads, no suspects, no new clues, nothing. Eventually, they'd been assigned another case. Then another. And another. Slowly, the home invasion case went cold, destined to be shoved in a box on a shelf somewhere. Forgotten about, except for in the minds of three very driven Texas Rangers.
Three months had passed now; the Rangers were pursuing a gang that specialized in meth. They still didn't speak much, except for terse greetings, good-byes, and case updates. Until that one fateful day when Trivette's phone rang. Walker was awake.