Hello again! And welcome back to 'What Would Erik Say?'
I'd like to think you all for the reiviews but...I'm not gonna...Nah. I'm just kiddin! Thanks for the reviews!
Hope ya enjoy this little segment!
PRIMA DONNA WITH ERIK TALKING OF COURSE!
Andre/Firmin:Prima donna, first lady on the stage
Erik:First murderer on the stage is more like it. When she sings, I'd say that half the audience winds up with brain damage or they go home that night and kill over before they make it to the bathroom.
Andre/Firmin:Your devotees are on their knees
Erik:WHAT? She hasn't got any devotees and if she did they most certainly wouldn't be on their knees
Andre/Firmin:To implore you
Erik:This song sucks
Andre:Can you bow out when they're shouting your name
Erik:The only thing they will be shouting with her name in it is, 'KILL CARLOTTA KILL CARLOTTA!'
Firmin:Think of how they all adore you
Erik:Who the hobos on the street who only adore her because they wanna steal her clotes and jewelery and sell 'em on the black market
Andre/Firmin:Prima donna, enchant us once again
Erik:How? She's not enchanting! She's scarier than a blue butt baboon with hemroids.
Andre:Think of your muse
Erik:What's her muse? Her enormous butt?
Firmin:And of the queues round the theater
Erik:...No comment
Andre/Firmin:Can you deny us that triumph in store
Erik:What triumph? How is she gonna triumph when people die before they get to the bathroom after hearing her sing! This all screwed up man!
Andre/Firmin/Piangi:Sing, Prima donna once-a more
Erik:If she sings, God have mercy upon us all!
Carlotta:Prima donna, your song shall live again
Erik:Nooo! We just managed to kill the dag gum thing. Why can't it stay dead
Carlotta:You took a snub
Erik:You took a dumb pill? No no no! You were born dumb! That's all there is to it.
Carlotta:But there's a public who needs you
Erik:If they "need" you, then every dang one of 'em needs a good old fashioned butt beatin
Carlotta:Think of their cry of undying support
Erik:They will all die from your voice woman. Don't make 'em support you too. That's just plain cruel
Carlotta:Follow where the lime-a-light leads you
Erik:I hope it leads you right off a freakin cliff, you stupid red head
Carlotta:Prima donna, your song shall never die
Erik:Yes, it will. I'll se to it personally
Carlotta:You'll sing again
Erik:No you won;t
Carlotta:And to unending ovation
Erik:There will only be an ovation of hair standing up on the back of people's necks because you suck so bad
Carlotta:Think how you'll shine in that final encore
Erik:There will not be an encore
Carlotta:Sing, Prima donna once-a more
Erik:Finally she shut up!
Andre/Firmin:Who'd believe a diva happy to relieve a
Erik:O great! Not these two broke back mountain weirdos again
Andre/Firmin:Chrous girl whose gone and slept with the patron
Erik:WHAT! Oh heck no! Christine! I'm gonna beat your a$$ for this. You little player!
Andre/Firmin:Raoul and the soubrette in twined in loves duet
Erik:Stop! I'm gonna hurl (throws up) Too late!
Andre/Firmin:Although he may demur he must have been with her
Erik: (Still doubled over puking)Blaaaahhhhh!
Andre/Firmin:You'd never get away with all this in a play
Erik:No duh! A play ain't real! (pukes again)
Andre/Firmin:But if it's loudly sung and in a foreign tongue
Erik:No clue what your talkin about
Andre/Firmin:It's just the sort of story audiences adore
Erik:You suck (remembers the part about raoul and christine sleeping together and pukes again)
Andre/Firmin:In fact the perfect opera
Erik:Screw you! You guys are retarded. The opera I'm writing is perfect!
Andre/Firmin:Prima donna the world is at your feet
Erik:No! The world is under her ginormous butt! Not at her feet and anyone who is at her feet is about to be terminated (pulls out lasso but then throws it behind him and pulls out a bazooka) Mwahahahahaha! Fear me! Mwahahahahahahaha!
Andre/Firmin:A nation waits and how it hates to be cheated
Erik: (says nothing, he too busy killing the people who are at or have been at Carlotta's feet)
Everybody:Light up the stage with the age old rapport
Erik:(still too busy terminating people)Mwahahahahaha!
Everybody:Sing Prima donna
Erik:Noooooooo, MOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Everybody:(Starts clapping for erik)
Erik: (Bows) Merci merci! Now all of you who sung a part in that song except for me (fires the bazooka) YOU ARE TERMINATED!Mwahahahahahahahaha!